NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is So Tired Of Explaining Lesbian Sex To Straight People

Feature image via womenofcolor


Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ Some of the biggest sex news this particular week came from us, right here. Our post about how often queer women have sex has given the world some insight into the mysteries of the female libido and enabled us to determine that lesbian bed death is a myth! Good job, ladies.

+ We also published a list of the 100 Gayest Places You’ve Had Sex. You know, like nunneries, Home Depot, the recycling plant and Oberlin.

Night Moves by Francis Yap M via women excellence

Night Moves by Francis Yap M via women excellence

+ No one was ever allowed alone with someone they wanted to make out with but weren’t married to in the Victorian era, so rollerskating was a handy release:

“‘Holding hands and whispering sweet nothings became easier without Mother Grundy — a contemporary term for a stern matriarch — and her ilk tagging along. Prolonged eye contact with one’s intended replaced stolen glances.’

On the rink, chaperones were left behind, clothes got shorter and more fitted (to allow for easier skating movement) and it was far easier to grab your date’s hand (or whatever else) without scrutiny. Young people — and newspapers — went crazy for it.”

Lorelei Black via alt and black

Lorelei Black via alt and black

+ The Victorian era was also notable for its nipple piercings (ahem, “bosom rings”). Though they certainly weren’t everywhere they were allegedly a thing:

“The widest diffusion of breast-rings exists in Paris. Writers often refer to the breast rings as anneaux de sein. Less women have breast-rings in England, although a jeweller reports on having earlier operated 20 women in England and during the six months since the first article about them appeared in the ‘Society’ 43 women. One correspondent cites a brochure by a New York physician who complains of young American women going to Europe and getting breast-rings in Paris. The brochure sees breast-rings as dangerous to health and encouraging ‘unhealthy sensuality’. One correspondent writes that breast-rings are often mentioned in the feature pages of La vie parisienne and Fin de siècle in connection with ladies of the demi-monde.”

+ St. Louis’s first feminist sex shop is opening this summer, is going to be run by two queer folks, and needs your help.

Olivia Campbell via fletchertrowan

Olivia Campbell via fletchertrowan

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Ryan North and Trudy Cooper wrote about SFW fetishes.

+ People who eat more grilled cheese have more sex. Correlation is not causation. OR IS IT.

model Bettina Banks via bettina banks

model Bettina Banks photographed by nic mesker via bettina banks

+ If you feel uncomfortably gassy or bloated and want to have sex, strategic yoga, remembering that you are the hottest and avoiding a few specific positions can all help. (If you do fart though it’s totally normal it’s fine.)

+ All bodies are good bodies.

Nicole Gibson via lingerietalk

Nicole Gibson via lingerietalk

+ Consent is important, and needs to be handled in a way that doesn’t perpetuate patriarchal attitudes but instead emphasizes actual communication, nuance, tone, open discussion and more:

“Start by setting and respecting boundaries long before you reach the bedroom. When you meet someone, ask if they’d like a handshake or a hug rather than making an assumption. These habits set people at ease and let everyone know they don’t need to worry about policing their boundaries at all times when they are with you.

Getting to the end of a date and wondering if there will be a goodnight kiss? One of my students recently shared a story about a date asking if they could step closer. Rather than ruin the romantic mood by asking, the mood was enhanced. Not only was the question a sexy thrill, because the advance was welcome, it also set the tone for the interaction: nothing unwelcome was going to happen.”

+ If you’re getting into rope bondage and confused by all the knots, Gizmodo has how to tie the only five knots you’ll ever need. (Also see Autostraddle’s Bondage 101 for bondage-related safety.)

+ There are all sorts of porn categories out there.

via rodeoh

via rodeoh

+ Sometimes coming out as poly to your family can suck.

+ Nothing is wrong with you if you don’t experience spontaneous desire.

+ The number one first date location is Starbucks I guess.

Sami Price and Shane Castle via the crash pad

Sami Price and Shane Castle via the crash pad

+ Quick sex can be great:

“‘You see your partner. You want your partner. You fuck your partner. Beginning. Middle. And end,’ says Tyler. ‘There’s no character development, no arch. Do you have a character arch every day? I don’t. But I do have a lot of hot sex.'”


All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1088 articles for us.

9 Comments

  1. Funny story about explaining lesbian sex to straight people:

    One of my roommates last year asked my girlfriend and I repeatedly how we had sex. After 3 or 4 different occasions of trying to explain nicely, the question finally caused my gf to snap. She grabbed her laptop, hooked it up to the TV (which my 4 other roomies were watching), and started playing some pretty decent girl on girl porn, in all of its HD glory.

    Naturally I was traumatized (especially because I was pretty awkward about sex preceding my relationship) but I imagine my roommate was even more so. However, the feat proved successful, for she never asked us again.

  2. I had a dream last night that Riese came to my house in the early morning to pick me up and drive me to A-camp.

    We got halfway to the campsite when I realized I hadn’t told my family, and they would think I was abducted or something.

    Plus, I’m still in the closet, so my whereabouts would be hard to explain.

    Riese had to drive me all the way back home and I felt terrible.

    This has nothing to do with the article, I just had to tell someone about it.

  3. Guy at work: In your relationship, who’s the man?
    Me: Neither of us, that’s the point. We are two ladies.
    Guy: But, who wears the pants?
    Me: Ideally, neither of us. But in public, probably both of us.
    Guy: But which one of you is more… masculine?
    Me: I think everyone has masculine and feminine traits, for me it changes daily depending on how I feel like dressing.
    Guy: Ohhhh… so YOU’RE the guy.

    What did I do to deserve this, lesbian jesus? I will repent.

  4. I love my straight friends. And my straight friends love me. However, I’m not blind to the confused look in their eyes when I mention anything about my sex life in a conversation.

    I just don’t have the heart to tell them that while mine may be confusing to them, their sex lives sounds so damn boring to me. Poor girls.

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