Listling Without Commentary: People You Geniuses Voted For in the Autostraddle Hot 100

The 2012 Autostraddle Hot 100 Of Real Queer Women votes have been counted and the 2012 Autostraddle Hot 100 post is in progress, so that’s something to think about as you lie awake at night worrying about swine flu.

However, while sifting through the Autostraddle Hot 100 Votes, we were struck not only by the variety of ways in which one can spell “Moennig”*, “Portia de Rossi” and “DeGeneres,” but also by the myriad deviations from the contest “rules” — most notably the rules that the contestant must be queer, female-identified, and real. (Let’s not get into the “do not vote for the same person more than once” rule, y’all are hopeless in that regard.)

We thought we would share with you some of our favorite responses to our question: “Who are the top 10 hottest queer women in all the land?”. Here they are:

1. Amelia Earhart

2. Brittany S. Pierce (6 votes for this one)

3. The third basemen on the opposing softball team

4. George Clooney

5. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt

6. That Hot Genderqueer Barista

7. That Hot Femme Bartender

8. Dianna Arton

9. fuck me with a strap-on

10. PORTIA DE ROSSIE

11. Olivia Benson

12. Julie Andrews

13. hot girl w/dreads who fills the bulk bins at a certain Whole Foods in SLC

14. Xena the Warrior Princess

15. your mum

16. That half-asian fox in the shark cabin

17. Chelsea Grace Chavarria

18. cats

19. Liv Tayler

20. Carrie Underwood

21. the black queen of sogo

22. Freja Benson Erikson

23. willow rosenberg

24. bette

25. Callie Torres (I know she’s not real but she’s really really hot)

26. Jonathan Groff

27. The girl I’m having a first date with tomorrow, you guys should hear how witty she is!

28. The Internet

29. Rachel Evan Wood

30. The 2013 Autostraddle Calendar girl who, in the teaser video, identifies as “a really big lesbian” and a “b-o-i boi lesbian”, whose name and designated calendar month has, to my knowledge, not yet been revealed and who, clearly, I have a big crush on (how’s that for a ‘FULL NAME’?!)

31. Sara Quin’s jaw

32. that one barista at the coffee shop

33. Katy Perry

34. Michelle Bachmann (duh)

* It took me three years to remember how to spell Moennig myself though, so.


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Riese is the 36-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2568 articles for us.

92 Comments

  1. “The 2013 Autostraddle Calendar girl who, in the teaser video, identifies as “a really big lesbian” and a “b-o-i boi lesbian”, whose name and designated calendar month has, to my knowledge, not yet been revealed and who, clearly, I have a big crush on (how’s that for a ‘FULL NAME’?!)”

    that’s KP, you guys!!! She’s really great!

  2. Fun fact: I mistyped Croce’s name while telling one of my friends how hot she was. Now she is forever known to me as Crochet. Sexual Crochet, apparently.

  3. This list is hilarious…but it was the graphic at the top that had me laughing the hardest. Now I’m wondering how many variations of Hot Intern/Editor Laura Wooley needed to be replaced!

  4. Oh Xena. She’s the warrior princess of my HEART. Also, I have such a huge history crush on Joan of Arc and Amelia Earhart that I’ve convinced myself they’re just reincarnated versions of the same person.

  5. Ok, ok. Breaking lurker silence to set the record straight (or not so straight). I wrote number #16 referring to the shark counsellor Emily Choo, but only afterwards realized that it could be interpreted as being about myself. I didn’t vote for myself you guys. Just putting that out there.

  6. I don’t think “fuck me with a strap-on” is a person. That being said, I’m pretty sure I know who might have said it.

    And yes, the Chistrads who went to A camp now say this constantly.

  7. I seriously considered voting for Shiloh as well, but last I read she was going by Ben, I think, and also she’s never spoken out about whether she’s queer-identified.

    I guess I never really learned how to break rules.

  8. I probably shouldn’t have admitted to that with such excitement and pride, but when I first saw it, I definitely felt nothing but excitement and pride – my head was like “O-M-G I made the list!”

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