Listicle Without Commentary: Statements (NOT QUESTIONS) Left for Riese and Laneia on Formspring

1. Laneia! I just made my first ever gay lady friends! In this city! I have friends! I’m a real person! Dating! Sex! Friends! Ah! KITTENS!!!
2. You never answer my Haviland questions.
3. You’re very good with comfort and reasoning. I’m going to attempt to decode your algorithm, if you don’t mind.
4. After that HIV question you answered, I had a great idea: 24-hour text message support line you can chat with to talk you through getting tested
5. I have been in love with my best friend for 5 years. Which didn’t feel like that long until I read the last question and thought about it. 5 years ins’t 8 years, but it’s close. I cannot believe I have loved her for 5 years.
6. Tell Haviland I love her and that one day we’ll sing a duet together, preferably something from Miss Saigon or Funny Girl. That would be grand.
7. I just want to chime in and say that I am a pretty Asian girl (I feel so beautiful today.) who loves orange Fanta.
8. Nothing makes sense. Not anything, not at all. I just want to chuck in everything and shave my hair and move to a new city, except I’d look really stupid with a shaved head and in a new city I’d still just be me and I’d still feel like this.
9. I love you. I hope you know this.
10. I moved out of home and I’m too old but I miss my mum. I don’t want to grow up.
11. ALL DEM LESBIANS WE WEAR DA VNECKS YES YES.
11. I want: http://butcanshedance.wordpress.com/2009/03/04/mermaid/ soooooooo bad.
12. I think you should post more things your kids say, or give them their own tumblr, because it makes my heart warm.
13. You can still go to college. If you want to. You still can.
14. ANSWER MY QUESTION YOU ARE A SLACKER BUT I LOVE YOU
15. I liked it when I read that Slade has novels, that he writes novels.
16. I WANT TO CRAWL INSIDE YOUR CHEST AND LISTEN TO YOU BREATHE AND TYPE. hypothetically.
17. I’m eating gravy from DQ right now, just thought you’d like to know.

[“listicle without commentary” title stolen from the awl]

Laneia is the Executive Editor and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here. She's 37, has two kids, two dogs, one cat, one Megan, and some personal essays.

Laneia has written 895 articles for us.

51 Comments

  1. “You’re very good with comfort and reasoning. I’m going to attempt to decode your algorithm, if you don’t mind.”

    I SHALL UNDERSTAND YOU, ANDROID WOMAN-THING.

  2. I don’t know what prompted ‘7.’ to chime in on such a sensitive issue, but she gave me the courage to do the same, so:

    I am a pretty Latin American girl (beautiful is my middle name, etc.) and I, too, love orange Fanta.

    [Thank you, pretty Asian girl. I’m not sure if the (orange) Fanta we’re sold tastes the same, but I’m certain that they all need to know they’re loved, at least once in a while]

          • Listen to this though: when some people want to do very deep dives where they will be in the water for many hours, they wear a diaper. And other people have drysuits (worn in cold water, totally encase you so that the water doesn’t touch your skin except a small area on your face) into which they install valves that can be peed out of. Since you have to breathe out your nose to clear water out of your mask if it floods, it is also normal to have snot dripping off your face when you get out of the water.

          • I avoid fast food of any kind, and also the other end of the spectrum (health foods where they swapped out human fare for rabbit feed and shipped it, etc)

          • I can’t reply to madden’s comment below this one for whatever reason, so i’m doing it here.

            anyways, I love how this has absolutely nothing to do with a Butterfinger Blizzard which I still want by the way. 😀

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