I Can’t Figure out Snapchat: Some More Internet Haikus

a sleeper twitter
someone i did not expect
is chrissy teigen

when facebook came out
i was in my freshman year
college not high school

go on pandora
with rihanna’s ‘work’ in mind
not today old friend

a sad confession
i can’t figure out snapchat
i feel death’s hot breath

real life to online
too short just doesn’t translate
i’m sorry too short

my close online friend
@’d virginia woolf’s ghost
and met her girlfriend

tweet’s ‘oops (oh my)’ song
was a prophetic story
describing twitter

truly feel blessed that
i’m hard to find on facebook
shout out to my name

kevin gates’ six jobs
are internet byproducts
gig economy

something that’s crazy
is i got a car bumper
sent from amazon

i need a hair app
that tells me how to cut it
‘what’s app with my hair’

joanne the scammer
is like a next level cher
very iconic

liked an ex’s pic
it’s not that bad except whoops
that’s her boyfriend’s page

i saw a g-chat
but from seven years ago
and i’m now a ghost

who called them comments
when they’re really e-pinions
lol 2 tru

facebook’s custom tab
has saved many families
specifically mine

hey entrepreneurs
if you create that hair app
can i have a… cut

my favorite screenshots
are with mariah carey
saying “who’s j.lo?”

the A+ podcast
is required listening
their voices like hugs

mallory ortberg
she’s a nice alien, right?
welcome to earth mal

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


  1. I can help you. Some other people my own age showed me how to use snapchat this weekend. All you have to do to use the filters is press on the screen over your face when you are in selfie mode (front facing camera mode). Then you swipe the different filters to the left. The very last filter is face swap.

    I felt dumb when other adults showed me how to use it however yesterday I spent several minutes sending pictures of myself vomiting rainbows. If you figure it out, you can send me snaps! My username is alcopela :)

  2. I lost my shit at “What’s app with my hair” so now everyone at work thinks I’m crazy.

    Also, I still don’t really “get” snapchat (although thanks to Amanda’s comment I now know at least how to use it!) and I feel like I should, so it’s good to know I’m not alone.

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