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5 Autostraddle-Inspired Halloween Costumes for the Queer Soul

Becky

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I was trying to make a list of easily adoptable styles for Halloween costumes, then I was trying to make them gay and amusing. This is the result of that experiment.

1

Jo Calderone

To pull this off, all you really need is confidence and a working knowledge of Jo Calderone's background. So read up on it. These things will help--

A button down shirt and/or a white t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up:

This one is $13.00 at Old Navy, they also come in "husky" sizes it says but I don't know what that translates to in not-little boy sizes, but if it fits, then great.

And some black jeans. There are small Black jeans and big Black jeans, and other black jeans galore. Carry around a dirty rag by your side. You work in an Autobody shop after all, remember? I feel like there should be a section of Autostraddle called Autobody. I think it should be the style section. Just sayin'

You should probably buy some. Or, you know, the black pants you have are fine I'm sure.

Add the finishing touch of cigarettes and something to slick back your hair.

2

Shiloh

I feel like Riese would make a good Shiloh. I feel like everyone would. I feel like the world would be a much better place if we were all the gender bending fashionable children of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Maybe.

shiloh jolie pitt

What you'll need--

An awesome childhood backpack:


Amazon has a great many (including the one seen above for $22); and like most of these items, can come in use for after the holiday is over.

Doc Martens, cause you already have a pair! (But Amazon has them in case you don't.)

A plastic sword and/or a collared shirt:

If people ask who you are, say you're the biggest outrage to hit newsstands since Rob dumped Kristen.

3

A F*cking Lesbian Kitten

Seriously.

This one's really easy. First you look like a kitten:

(old cats are kittens too)

...then you look like a kitten-inspired lesbian!

(Left to right):
a. Nomis Mystery Hoodie - $84.95
b. Oversized Cable Knit Beanie Hat
c. 6906 Clark Kent Glasses - $6.88
d. Southpole Mens Flannel Shirt - $21.99 )

Bam. You're a lesbian kitten.

4

Julie & Brandy of In Your Box Office

What better way to be the coolest kid at the Halloween party then by being the coolest kids on the internets?!

Julie & Brandy are always wearing cool sunglasses, so you'll definitely need those.

If you don't have a real chihuahua named 'Nacho' to carry around, you can grab one of these stuffed chihuahuas on Amazon for only like $12:

If you're Julie, a guitar could go a long way. So does a muscle tank, or a vest and tie situation (like this silk red slim tie from Topman for $28).

Being Brandy for Halloween is a good excuse to break out that blonde wig. Next you'll need a cute, thigh-or-knee-grazing empire-waisted flirty dress situation and some stylish boots that hit about mid-calf or a denim mini-skirt and t-shirt and, obviously, a perfect manicure in an unexpected color.

Also don't forget the hat. It doesn't have to go with your outfit, just rock it. Both of you. Also, carry around a flip cam and record your adventures!

5

Anyone from The Real L Word Parody

Hey remember that Real L Word parody we made? Look! there's even already pictures showing you how it's done! And a whole video you can watch to get the attitude down. Now there is no excuse why you can't do this with your posse of lesbian friends.

Things you might need--

Cardstock & sunglasses, dreadlock gel ("you will be shocked at how quickly and easily you can turn innocent straight hair into nappy dread-breeding-masses of knottyness"),  hegemonic/ hoop (depending if you're being Romi/Sara / Natalie/rose, respectively) earrings, and a mac laptop.

Bonus

Guess what? Because Halloween is a time of magic, we're starting a very super special homo-Halloween-costume gallery!

Are you a homogay? Are you going to dress up? Are you and your best friend going out as Ellen and Portia? Are you going to look as cute as these kids did last year?

(Oh hey, Holly)

Then take a photo and contribute to our gallery!  Your costume does not have to be gay to submit it! Just creative/cute/funny/yay!  Also, anyone who opts to dress up like a lesbian kitten and sends in a photo will receive a free pizza.

Email your submission to laneia[at]autostraddle.com.

77 responses to “5 Autostraddle-Inspired Halloween Costumes for the Queer Soul”

  1. Brianna

    Doc Martens, cause you already have a pair!

    Why yes I do have that pair of Doc Martens. What were you doing in my closet? I’m concerned.

    Thumb up 1
    1. riese

      i do too, they’re my favorite and make me feel like tank girl

      Thumb up 1
  2. Lauren

    i’m going as hermione granger. hopefully i won’t start a sex riot.

    Thumb up 0
    1. LaurenLu

      sex riot.
      Started.

      Thumb up 0
    2. Elizabeth (aka Elli)

      I went as Hermione 2 years ago, complete with crimped, frizzed-out hair (I had hair then…) :)

      Thumb up 0
  3. Sam

    I have two costumes because I recycling my costume from last year. First my date is dressing as joan from mad men so I am her doctor husband ( i know doctor rapist but I am recycling my Dr. Seymour Bush OBGYN lab coat from last year) That is for friday. For saturday I am going as a rugby player. Not a stretch and super gay and turns out I don’t have to buy anything.

    Thumb up 0
  4. comeonsuperstar

    I’m dressing up as Pebbles from the Flintstones, only because I have red hair and a baby face. But I’m going to this huge-ass party at a mansion and plan to get super drunk so it’ll look awesome when this 15 year old looking girl (moi) is fallin everywhere screaming about Lady Gaga.

    Thumb up 0
  5. b

    rosie the riveter. i’ll be the shortest, brownest rosie ever. and she was gay, right?
    (well she is now..)

    Thumb up 1
    1. HypeSociety

      My [straight] roommate went as her last year!

      Thumb up 0
    2. Megster

      I’m going as Rossie the Riveter too! That is exactly what I was thinking about Rossie, She totally is now :)

      Thumb up 0
  6. fynnie

    inigo montoya. i think. my other options are 1. a lost boy 2. the dread pirate roberts 3. i forget where i put my list so i don’t remember but it was a man because this year i am apparently really into crossdressing

    Thumb up 1
    1. Rachel

      LOVE

      Thumb up 0
  7. Oz

    *sigh*

    I wish we had Halloween over here :(

    Thumb up 0
    1. Dina

      Oh, but we do! I’m going to a Halloween party on the weekend. :) Although lots of older Aussies I know are railing against it!

      Thumb up 0
      1. KZ

        There’s an American family in my neighbourhood who get REALLY into it. I think I might just go to their house.

        Thumb up 0
  8. seventeen

    I am genuinely being Rachel Maddow. There are pictures, and when I get tagged in them on Facebook I will GLADLY submit them to the gallery.

    Things you need:
    thick-rimmed glasses – if you don’t wear them, find some sunglasses and pop out the lenses!
    Awesome blazer
    black scoop-neck/tank top
    dark jeans/dress pants
    awesome sneakers, such as Converses
    Awesomeness (but since you’re reading Autostraddle you’re probably okay for this one)

    Thumb up 0
    1. marieeee

      I went as her last year! I even did her blazer-covered-with-campaign-buttons thing. Unfortch, nobody at the party knew who I was – straight Canadians, what do they know, eh? ;)

      Thumb up 0
      1. seventeen

        oh man, that’s amazing. I had similar issues – and oh my god, a fellow Maddow-watching cagaydian (BC what what). How do you get her show? Through iTunes? That’s what I’m doing.

        I also got an overwhelming response when I told people who I was of ‘…that’s such a you thing to do’. So, apparently, I’m predictable/cool like that?

        Thumb up 0
  9. KK

    Willow Smith. I’ll whip my hair back n forth.

    Thumb up 0
    1. Turkish

      This comment just made my whole day.

      Thumb up 0
  10. D

    I’m dressing up as a sailor on shore leave ;)
    Take that, DADT!

    Thumb up 1
    1. Laneia

      hearted

      Thumb up 0
  11. Stiney

    Justin Bieber!

    I knoww, lesbians looking like Justin Bieber is sooo two seasons ago but when have I ever been a front liner for fashion and pop culture anyway?

    Oh baby baby baby oh

    Thumb up 0
  12. HypeSociety

    I made myself Gaga’s meat dress for the shitty small town bar here tonight. Tomorrow I may be Elly Jackson

    Thumb up 0
  13. Dina

    I’m going to be a pirate. But an Anne Bonney style crossdressing pirate, not the “sexy pirate” that comes up when you Google for pirate costumes.

    My partner was planning on being a ninja, but then she was afraid that everyone would just think she’s emo. IDK.

    Thumb up 1
    1. Heather

      You know what would be more awesome than a ninja? A ninja turtle! Cowabunga. They aren’t emo.

      Thumb up 0
      1. Dina

        She’s decided on “Twilight Vampire,” lol. (Basically she’s just dressing like she always does and then covering herself in body glitter!)

        Thumb up 0
      2. melisa.

        did ninja turtles become emo ??? i went as raphael last year : D

        Thumb up 0
      3. Willis

        Me, my girlfriend, and two of our friends were the ninja turtles for a costume party a couple of years ago. It was awesome, we had fake shells and everything.

        Thumb up 0
  14. southpaw

    yay, my friends are famous! but more importantly, my room is famous!

    Thumb up 0
  15. Petra

    I was debating between Harry Potter and Han Solo:my hair is just the right length for both. However, I can’t find a bandolier and too lazy to fix my sewing machine in order to make one, same with the cloak… so I may end up just wearing my Butterfly Glitter Fairy wings and blue hair gel.

    Is the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio super gay?

    Because she is now.

    Thumb up 0
    1. diver

      Solo

      Thumb up 0
  16. GrrrlRomeo

    I’ve dressed up as a straight girl for Halloween (I wore a dress). Also a straight guy (the husband of campy heteronormative family with my friends as the wife and kids) and Dr. Frank N. Furter.

    And I tell ya, as a butch dyke, dressing as Dr. Frank N. Furter made me feel like a queer guy in drag.

    Thumb up 1
  17. marya

    Joan Jett!

    Now I just have to remember to get my picture taken before I look like a hot drunken mess.

    Thumb up 0
    1. Aya

      pics or it didn’t happen!

      Thumb up 0
  18. K.E.H

    My g/f looks like Shiloh/Shiloh looks like my g/f (BUT OLDER OBVS)

    She’s at least 12.

    Thumb up 0
    1. seismickitten

      HA.
      Well said, lady, well said indeed.

      Thumb up 0
  19. doctormccoy

    dressing up as a female dr. mccoy. lenore mccoy? bah, whatever, it’ll turn all the homogay heads anyway, so i’m just gonna rock it.

    Thumb up 1
  20. Ellen

    I’m going as a tiger! In all-in-one tiger striped men’s PJs!

    Thumb up 0
  21. countrysongs

    I’m going as Robin Hood. haaah.

    Thumb up 0
  22. Daisy @ Tinnitus Treatment

    Wow they are looking good, excellent share dude.

    Thumb up 0
  23. Daphne

    Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town. Now I only have to find a Pickachu costume for my dog. You think a spraycan of yellow hairdye would do?

    Thumb up 0
    1. Morgan

      i have been misty probably >5 times
      why do you live so far awayyy

      Thumb up 0
    2. Daphne

      We would need a Brock. Nobody wants to be brock.

      Thumb up 0
      1. Brandi

        GUYS I’m being Brock this year. Party it up in pallet?

        Thumb up 0
  24. Kelly M.

    Adam Lambert. I shall be the uber-gay. Whatdya want from me?! Oh. Candy. Here. *twinkly fag grin*

    Thumb up 0
  25. Ko

    My university hosted a drag ball 2 or so weeks ago and I dressed up as Jo Calderone. It was greattt. As for Halloween, I want(ed) to be Miley Cyrus (with her outfit from party in the USA) but I don’t have a wig (which I really need considering how short my hair is). So instead I think ima be La Roux. I forget her name. :<

    Thumb up 0
    1. MsNJS

      I wanted to be a drag queen so bad for Halloween. I just didnt feel like committing to the heels all night

      Thumb up 0
  26. MsNJS

    Who do we send the pictures too?

    Thumb up 0
  27. Elizabeth (aka Elli)

    My actual costume is Chuck/a Nerd Herder from Chuck, but tonight I’m going to a Masquerade Ball that is a no-costume situation and I’m going to be all dapper in my argyle sweater and pink bow tie :)

    Thumb up 0
  28. Meredith

    Now I have to find those pics of me as a busty convict and my lady as a mustachioed cop! Good times. This year I am laying low with a witch hat while my sons collects candy for himself*.
    *me!

    Thumb up 0
  29. Liz

    This year my girlfriend and I are lego men.I was a lego cop and she was my lego prisoner. We went to the dollar store by our house to steal cardboard from the back then went inside the dollar store to buy poster paint. The whole thing cost about $10 which is A LOT better than what we spent last year.

    Thumb up 0
    1. melisa

      nice work ! im stealing ur idea next year ( pic looks awesome)

      Thumb up 0
  30. Rose

    I would consider these but I’m already going as Christine O’Donnell, complete with witch hat and sign proclaiming “I’M NOT A WITCH! I’m You!”

    Thumb up 0
    1. emotionalsquid

      My best friend is thinking of going as her as well! Complete with a sign that says something to the effect of “When you touch yourself, you’re touching Satan.”

      Thumb up 0
    2. diver

      Just looked up who Christine O’Donnell is. Never heard such bull. She is a douche.

      Thumb up 0
  31. Megsly

    I went as Justin Bieber and totally won the universe.
    Except one girl thought I was Ellen DeGeneres.
    While this is okay with me
    i am not ellen.

    Thumb up 0
  32. Brooke

    We had trick or treating yesterday and my brother went as a kitten! I don’t think he was a lesbian kitten tho

    Thumb up 0
  33. Natalie

    I went as a derby girl but I wanted to be a lesbian who looked like justin bieber.
    I let my straight friends give me my derby name so I was “The Predicament.” Apparently it’s a jersey shore reference. This is why I need queer friends.

    Thumb up 0
    1. Stiney

      For the straight people in my life I told them I was Justin Bieber.

      For the gays, I told them I was lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber dot tumblr dot com.

      Also slightly relevant and funny: http://i56.tinypic.com/2dilov5.jpg

      Thumb up 0
  34. riese

    i’m going as a slutty slut

    Thumb up 0
    1. diver

      Why wait for Halloween

      Thumb up 0
      1. diver

        oh, because then being a slut wouldn’t be special

        Thumb up 0
    2. smartypants

      “slutty slut”–the best kind

      Thumb up 0
  35. emotionalsquid

    I’m going as Bellatrix Lestrange, assuming I have time to finish my costume between now and Halloween.

    Thumb up 0
  36. Rachel

    guys i think i am actually doing the ellen/portia thing? i am portia and my bro friend is ellen? i don’t know i think i cannot even maybe handle how perfect this is.

    Thumb up 0
  37. Desiree

    Im going as a fucking HIPSTER! lol

    Thumb up 0
    1. seventeen

      yeah, but what’s your costume?
      :P

      Thumb up 0
  38. Shaqueera

    OH HEY BECKS <3

    I'm offish a D-list celesbian!!!!!

    The Shiloh idea is brilliant, btw.

    Thumb up 0
  39. moony_luna

    I’m being both Tegan and Sara, except I’m getting my hair cut reaaally short a day later than Halloween, so I’m going to be zombie!Tegan and Sara. I have the striped shirt and the purple pants and the fedora!

    Thumb up 0
  40. Katie

    Me and my gf were gonna go as Brittany and Santana…but cheerleading costumes are too effing expensive so we’re going as construction workers instead. pics to come soon!!

    Thumb up 0
  41. marlene.

    i’m not dressing up, but i painted my nails. does that count? it totally counts if its spiderwebs and skeletons right? i’m gonna submit a picture.

    Thumb up 0
  42. sCubed

    Today was the end of my homogay costume trifecta:
    Friday night: Janelle Monae (pomade is the shiznit)
    Saturday: Viper pilot from Battlestar Galactica
    Today: Newsie

    Halloween should fall on a Sunday EVERY YEAR.

    Thumb up 0
  43. Catherine

    I went as a Chilean Minor! ie dressed up like a child and draped a Chilean flag around my neck.

    Thumb up 0
  44. jifener25

    last year i was daria, i think this year i shall be velma.

    Thumb up 0
  45. Charlie

    I’m not sure I’m going to a halloween party, since I usually stay home to start nanowriting, but if I did, I’d go as katniss probably. so I could carry my bow. or maybe as arya stark with needle. but I don’t have a nymeria.

    lesbian kitten seems like very easy, considering I already have all the necessary items.

    Thumb up 0
  46. Paaaaaaaaaaaooooollllllooooooo

    2010: went as twin devil brother and sister with my best friend
    2011: Went as Austin Powers (sex god)
    2012: I am going as Jo Caldeone

    Cant wait!!!!

    Thumb up 0

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