5 Autostraddle-Inspired Halloween Costumes for the Queer Soul

I was trying to make a list of easily adoptable styles for Halloween costumes, then I was trying to make them gay and amusing. This is the result of that experiment.

1

Jo Calderone

To pull this off, all you really need is confidence and a working knowledge of Jo Calderone‘s background. So read up on it. These things will help–

A button down shirt and/or a white t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up:

This one is $13.00 at Old Navy, they also come in “husky” sizes it says but I don’t know what that translates to in not-little boy sizes, but if it fits, then great.

And some black jeans. There are small Black jeans and big Black jeans, and other black jeans galore. Carry around a dirty rag by your side. You work in an Autobody shop after all, remember? I feel like there should be a section of Autostraddle called Autobody. I think it should be the style section. Just sayin’

You should probably buy some. Or, you know, the black pants you have are fine I’m sure.

Add the finishing touch of cigarettes and something to slick back your hair.

2

Shiloh

I feel like Riese would make a good Shiloh. I feel like everyone would. I feel like the world would be a much better place if we were all the gender bending fashionable children of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Maybe.

shiloh jolie pitt

What you’ll need–

An awesome childhood backpack:


Amazon has a great many (including the one seen above for $22); and like most of these items, can come in use for after the holiday is over.

Doc Martens, cause you already have a pair! (But Amazon has them in case you don’t.)

A plastic sword and/or a collared shirt:

If people ask who you are, say you’re the biggest outrage to hit newsstands since Rob dumped Kristen.

3

A F*cking Lesbian Kitten

Seriously.

This one’s really easy. First you look like a kitten:

(old cats are kittens too)

…then you look like a kitten-inspired lesbian!

(Left to right):
a. Nomis Mystery Hoodie – $84.95
b. Oversized Cable Knit Beanie Hat
c. 6906 Clark Kent Glasses – $6.88
d. Southpole Mens Flannel Shirt – $21.99 )

Bam. You’re a lesbian kitten.

4

Julie & Brandy of In Your Box Office

What better way to be the coolest kid at the Halloween party then by being the coolest kids on the internets?!

Julie & Brandy are always wearing cool sunglasses, so you’ll definitely need those.

If you don’t have a real chihuahua named ‘Nacho’ to carry around, you can grab one of these stuffed chihuahuas on Amazon for only like $12:

If you’re Julie, a guitar could go a long way. So does a muscle tank, or a vest and tie situation (like this silk red slim tie from Topman for $28).

Being Brandy for Halloween is a good excuse to break out that blonde wig. Next you’ll need a cute, thigh-or-knee-grazing empire-waisted flirty dress situation and some stylish boots that hit about mid-calf or a denim mini-skirt and t-shirt and, obviously, a perfect manicure in an unexpected color.

Also don’t forget the hat. It doesn’t have to go with your outfit, just rock it. Both of you. Also, carry around a flip cam and record your adventures!

5

Anyone from The Real L Word Parody

Hey remember that Real L Word parody we made? Look! there’s even already pictures showing you how it’s done! And a whole video you can watch to get the attitude down. Now there is no excuse why you can’t do this with your posse of lesbian friends.

Things you might need–

Cardstock & sunglasses, dreadlock gel (“you will be shocked at how quickly and easily you can turn innocent straight hair into nappy dread-breeding-masses of knottyness”),  hegemonic/ hoop (depending if you’re being Romi/Sara / Natalie/rose, respectively) earrings, and a mac laptop.

Bonus

Guess what? Because Halloween is a time of magic, we’re starting a very super special homo-Halloween-costume gallery!

Are you a homogay? Are you going to dress up? Are you and your best friend going out as Ellen and Portia? Are you going to look as cute as these kids did last year?

(Oh hey, Holly)

Then take a photo and contribute to our gallery!  Your costume does not have to be gay to submit it! Just creative/cute/funny/yay!  Also, anyone who opts to dress up like a lesbian kitten and sends in a photo will receive a free pizza.

Email your submission to laneia[at]autostraddle.com.

I'm Becky. I write about style because I think anybody can look great and I think everybody usually does. I'm into self-expression. I'm into being expressive. When I'm not writing about style for Autostraddle I'm usually trying to make a film. I'm also a dancer, so I will Gahu with you anytime, anywhere.

Becky has written 26 articles for us.

77 Comments

  1. I have two costumes because I recycling my costume from last year. First my date is dressing as joan from mad men so I am her doctor husband ( i know doctor rapist but I am recycling my Dr. Seymour Bush OBGYN lab coat from last year) That is for friday. For saturday I am going as a rugby player. Not a stretch and super gay and turns out I don’t have to buy anything.

  2. I’m dressing up as Pebbles from the Flintstones, only because I have red hair and a baby face. But I’m going to this huge-ass party at a mansion and plan to get super drunk so it’ll look awesome when this 15 year old looking girl (moi) is fallin everywhere screaming about Lady Gaga.

  3. inigo montoya. i think. my other options are 1. a lost boy 2. the dread pirate roberts 3. i forget where i put my list so i don’t remember but it was a man because this year i am apparently really into crossdressing

  4. I am genuinely being Rachel Maddow. There are pictures, and when I get tagged in them on Facebook I will GLADLY submit them to the gallery.

    Things you need:
    thick-rimmed glasses – if you don’t wear them, find some sunglasses and pop out the lenses!
    Awesome blazer
    black scoop-neck/tank top
    dark jeans/dress pants
    awesome sneakers, such as Converses
    Awesomeness (but since you’re reading Autostraddle you’re probably okay for this one)

    • I went as her last year! I even did her blazer-covered-with-campaign-buttons thing. Unfortch, nobody at the party knew who I was – straight Canadians, what do they know, eh? 😉

      • oh man, that’s amazing. I had similar issues – and oh my god, a fellow Maddow-watching cagaydian (BC what what). How do you get her show? Through iTunes? That’s what I’m doing.

        I also got an overwhelming response when I told people who I was of ‘…that’s such a you thing to do’. So, apparently, I’m predictable/cool like that?

  5. I’m going to be a pirate. But an Anne Bonney style crossdressing pirate, not the “sexy pirate” that comes up when you Google for pirate costumes.

    My partner was planning on being a ninja, but then she was afraid that everyone would just think she’s emo. IDK.

  6. I was debating between Harry Potter and Han Solo:my hair is just the right length for both. However, I can’t find a bandolier and too lazy to fix my sewing machine in order to make one, same with the cloak… so I may end up just wearing my Butterfly Glitter Fairy wings and blue hair gel.

    Is the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio super gay?

    Because she is now.

  7. I’ve dressed up as a straight girl for Halloween (I wore a dress). Also a straight guy (the husband of campy heteronormative family with my friends as the wife and kids) and Dr. Frank N. Furter.

    And I tell ya, as a butch dyke, dressing as Dr. Frank N. Furter made me feel like a queer guy in drag.

  8. My university hosted a drag ball 2 or so weeks ago and I dressed up as Jo Calderone. It was greattt. As for Halloween, I want(ed) to be Miley Cyrus (with her outfit from party in the USA) but I don’t have a wig (which I really need considering how short my hair is). So instead I think ima be La Roux. I forget her name. :<

  9. Now I have to find those pics of me as a busty convict and my lady as a mustachioed cop! Good times. This year I am laying low with a witch hat while my sons collects candy for himself*.
    *me!

  10. This year my girlfriend and I are lego men.I was a lego cop and she was my lego prisoner. We went to the dollar store by our house to steal cardboard from the back then went inside the dollar store to buy poster paint. The whole thing cost about $10 which is A LOT better than what we spent last year.

  11. I went as a derby girl but I wanted to be a lesbian who looked like justin bieber.
    I let my straight friends give me my derby name so I was “The Predicament.” Apparently it’s a jersey shore reference. This is why I need queer friends.

  12. I’m being both Tegan and Sara, except I’m getting my hair cut reaaally short a day later than Halloween, so I’m going to be zombie!Tegan and Sara. I have the striped shirt and the purple pants and the fedora!

  13. Me and my gf were gonna go as Brittany and Santana…but cheerleading costumes are too effing expensive so we’re going as construction workers instead. pics to come soon!!

  14. Today was the end of my homogay costume trifecta:
    Friday night: Janelle Monae (pomade is the shiznit)
    Saturday: Viper pilot from Battlestar Galactica
    Today: Newsie

    Halloween should fall on a Sunday EVERY YEAR.

  15. I’m not sure I’m going to a halloween party, since I usually stay home to start nanowriting, but if I did, I’d go as katniss probably. so I could carry my bow. or maybe as arya stark with needle. but I don’t have a nymeria.

    lesbian kitten seems like very easy, considering I already have all the necessary items.

  16. 2010: went as twin devil brother and sister with my best friend
    2011: Went as Austin Powers (sex god)
    2012: I am going as Jo Caldeone

    Cant wait!!!!

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