Boobs on Your Tube: Willow’s Queer Knight Wants Your Grubby Hands off Her Princess!

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This week, Drew chatted with Daniel Sea about Max’s return to The L Word. Drew and Analyssa dropped another glorious To L and Back podcast episode. Kayla enjoyed the mean queer psychic domme in Leopard Skin. Lily wrote about queer girl autistic representation in Heartbreak High and Dead End: Paranormal Park. Kayla brought you the latest from Yellowjackets season two. Our TV Team released our list of favorite lesbian and bisexual TV episodes of the year. Drew released her list of best queer movies. Shelli had some thoughts on BET’s Christmas Clapback. Nic had some thoughts about Something From Tiffany’s. And our whole team got together to share our 2022 TV and film hot takes.

Here’s what else!


Willow Episode 104: “The Whispers of Nockmaar”

Written by Nic

“Remove your grubby hands from my princess!!”

This week on Willow, our adventuring party’s quest takes them to the abandoned castle of Queen Bavmorda, aka, Kit’s Grandma. They’re trying to find a way to rid Graydon (Kit’s betrothed) of the darkness that’s slowly growing within him, while I try to find a way to determine what’s actually going on because of the literal darkness on screen. While they plot, Kit suggests mercy killing Graydon, but Boorman opines that killing someone who isn’t actively trying to kill you hits different. To that point, Kit pulls Jade aside to see how she’s doing after killing Ballantine. She tries to empathize with the soon-to-be knight, but as kindly as possible, Jade reiterates Boorman’s point that the princess just can’t understand how she’s feeling; and Jade honestly hopes that Kit never does.

One thing I’ve been hoping for is some Jade backstory, and we got a little peek in this episode! She remembers doing hard labor as a kid and being grateful that Queen Sorsha took her in, but she also remembers that when Ballantine took an interest in her, he gave her a way to channel her anger into being something; “he gave me a sword and I killed him with it.”

Jade needs some time alone, so she and Kit separate; Kit to collect ingredients for Elora, and Jade to brood and eventually have a 1:1 chat with Boorman about Kit’s mercy killing suggestion. While Jade tries to find her way back to the party, she sees a vision of her mother slain, presumably in the midst of the attack that killed her. Jade fights a General that may or may not be there before ending up in the same room as Kit.

The two commiserate about the creepy castle until Boorman attempts to get into the room, but they refuse until he tells them something only the real Boorman would know. Never missing an opportunity to roast them, Boorman says what we can all see: “you two have the hots for each other!” And the way they jumped away from each other SO FAST to deny it?! Kit, you literally kissed Jade on the mouth!! And then 10 seconds later, Jade demands that Boorman stop touching “MY PRINCESS.” Be fucking for real. They’re so stinkin’ cute, I can’t take it.

Once they return to the rest of the group, Jade is ready for a mercy killing, but Kit is the one who stops her in favor of putting their trust in Elora’s abilities. It’s really sweet and shows some actual growth for our dear princess. Once Graydon is cured, they continue on their journey to the Immemorial City in hopes of curing Kit’s brother Airk, but not before we see some very evil looking cronies plotting to disrupt their plans. Perhaps next week PrincessKnight will admit their feelings for each other?? One can only hope.


Survivor 4313: “Snap Some Necks and Cash Some Checks”

Written by Anya

Karla Cruz Godoy, a contestant on Survivor, grinning as host Jeff Probst snuffs her torch, signaling the end of her run on the show

At the beginning of the finale episode, it’s clear the odds are against Karla — everyone has identified her as a threat and wants her gone. In a confessional, Karla states: “I have the heart of a warrior; I’m not giving up,” and once again I am just so thrilled to see her on the big screen! Before I have time to get even more emotional than I already am, tree mail shows up on the island, with a letter-scrambled clue for finding an advantage. Karla solves it first and takes off running, which is more like hobbling, since her ankle is still busted and she’s clearly in a lot of pain — she’s down but she’s not out! Karla manages to find the clue just before Owen (which makes him very mad). At this point, it’s important to mention that everyone at my finale viewing party is talking about Karla’s winning smile.

Anyway, they get to the challenge which is for both immunity and reward, and despite her advantage, Karla doesn’t win — Owen does. He decides to take Cassidy with him to eat steak and drink wine. Back at the island, Karla and Jesse seem to be teaming up — both gunning for Cassidy. But, Karla tells us, she’s trying to use this to blindside Jesse. Jesse has decided that he actually wants to keep Karla around, because after her, he’s the biggest threat — so long as she’s there, he can take attention off of himself. At Tribal Council, however, Jesse reveals his hidden idol and explains that he is going to use it for himself. There’s a lot of chatter, and Owen and Cassidy are basically saying they are planning to vote out Karla. Even in this moment, when Jesse and Cody have immunity, when Cass has openly told Karla she’s coming for her, and when Gabler will do what Gabler always does (whatever some dude tells him to do), Karla STILL doesn’t give up. She wheels, she deals, she spins, she puts offers out there, she gets out of her seat to whisper to Jesse, she does anything but sit down and accept her fate.

Sadly, it doesn’t work. Karla is voted off, and I’ll be honest, my heart broke. But Karla was smiling, because she knew she gave it her all.

And then everything got worse. But that all came after Karla got booted, so it’s not part of this recap!


The Sex Lives of College Girls 209-210: “Sex & Basketball” and “The Rooming Lottery”

Written by Natalie

Leighton, dressed as Carol, talks to Tatum while Alicia, dressed as Elton John, eavesdrops in the background.

After getting Alicia’s texts about reconnecting, Leighton’s confused about what to do so she does what most people would do: she takes it to the friend group. Except, that’s not what Leighton Murray does…or used to do, anyway…she doesn’t go to her friends for romantic advice (in fact, it’s why she’s dumped by her high school besties in the show’s first episode). But Essex has changed Leighton…and so here she is, opening up and asking for advice. Growth, you love to see it.

The girls are stunned by the request but Kimberly urges Leighton talk to Tatum about it. Leighton shouldn’t see Alicia behind Tatum’s back if she truly cares about her. It’s good advice — advice that Kimberly would’ve done well to take herself, it turns out — and Leighton approaches Tatum about it during Pilates class. Tatum insists she’s cool about Leighton reconnecting with her ex, after all, she’s friends with a lot of her exes, including the Pilates instructor. I’m not sure I buy Tatum’s indifference but Leighton does and reconnects with Alicia (and Ginger! and Tova!) later at the women’s center.

The exes settle into an easy, flirtatious rapport, as they prepare care packages for trans youth. Leighton cracks jokes about the women’s center and Alicia, Ginger, and Tova rib Leighton over her coming out hoe phase. They mention the upcoming fundraiser — a costume party, natch — and invite Leighton to come. Leighton agrees but asks if she can bring a guest since she’s “sorta been seeing someone.” The unmistakable look of disappointment flashes across Alicia’s face but she masks it with a well-timed joke and an invitation for Leighton to bring her new girl along.

Given her reaction to the comedy show, I’m surprised that Tatum shows up to the fundraiser at all. She comes sans costume — though, hilariously, Leighton wonders if Tatum is dressed as Elle Woods — and doesn’t last long among the “gen pop.” She is snooty and judgmental…everything that Leighton used to be but isn’t anymore…and it provokes a fight and an off-screen break-up.

While I saw their break-up coming from the beginning, the pacing of the story — of both these episodes really — just felt off. Like the writers crafted a season long arc and then realized how little time they had left to tell their story so they just hit fast-forward. Everything feels rushed. Moments that should resonate, don’t…emotional beats that should’ve been included, aren’t….because TSLOCG did a terrible job pacing their story.

To wit, when Leighton’s mom shows up on campus for the Kappa Spring Festival, it should be a big deal. They’ve always had a contentious relationship and I’ve been waiting for the moment when this new version of Leighton clashes with her mother, who shaped Leighton in her image…but it never happens. Leighton doesn’t come out to her mother, her father tells her mom…and there’s no blow-up about it…her mother did the reading and comes to Essex ready to affirm Leighton’s sexuality and her love for her daughter. Now, granted, sometimes it happens like that…sometimes, the world we imagine while we’re in the closet is far scarier than the actual world…but when it comes to Leighton’s mom, it strains credulity.

And if that weren’t bad enough, Leighton quits Kappa — after being elected social chair and being offered a space in the sorority house — and her mother just accepts it? Just like that? After wanting it for Leighton all this time? I mean, it’s a great ending for Leighton but because none of it resonates because the show just fast-forwarded past the hard part — the tension, the fights, the anger — to get to the good.

The good includes a $30k check from Leighton’s mother to the cash-strapped women’s center which Leighton passes onto Alicia at the last Theta party of the year. Overjoyed, Alicia kisses Leighton and then pulls back and apologizes. But Leighton insists that it’s okay, since she and Tatum broke up, and pulls Alicia back into a kiss. Again, there’s no time to do any of the hard stuff — like interrogating the hurt from their past break-up — TSLOCG just wants to get to the good…at least for Leighton.

“So, I have some news,” she announces the next morning over breakfast. “Alicia and I are back together and, I’m not going to lie, I’m really happy about it.”

And while it’s hard to resist the bright smile that lights up Renee Rapp’s face when she says that, I wish I could share her happiness. Maybe next season?


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Nic

Nic is a Senior Product Manager at a major Publisher and lives in Astoria, NY. She is way too attached to queer fictional characters and maintains that buying books and reading books are two very different hobbies. When she's not consuming every form of fiction, you can find her dropping it low on the dance floor. You can find Nic on twitter and instagram.

Nic has written 43 articles for us.

Natalie

A black biracial, bisexual girl raised in the South, working hard to restore North Carolina's good name. Lover of sports, politics, good TV and Sonia Sotomayor. You can follow her latest rants on Twitter.

Natalie has written 283 articles for us.

12 Comments

  1. While I do agree that TSLOCG has some pacing issues (with like, all of the stories!), it’s currently about the only show I’m actually kinda invested. I do love the friendship among the girls so much and they’re being growing so much! But also, you’re so right, the story in this week’s episodes feel so rushed, not only with Leighton but with Kimberly and Whitney’s stories as well! Like, against my own judgement I’m not too opposed with her and Caanan but it’s kinda out of nowhere? Also, didn’t she JUST get together with the topless climate refugee dude? At least she dumped that poor ass but it’s still kinda out of nowhere.

    I still hoped they won’t end the season in conflict and not gonna lie I was kinda worried they won’t renew it. Glad they did tho. Gonna be worried on how they will resolve the Kimberly/Whitney stuff and Bella’s transfer request. At least Leighton is happy – and I do love Alicia, she’s funny!

    I also watch Willow but so far it does kinda feel like a boring and long-drawn out DnD campaign. I like about most of the characters but for the love of it I can’t stand Willow. Not sure if he only bugs me or if he’s supposed to be annoying but he’s rubbing me in all the wrong spots. Also sometimes they all talk a bit too much about their lore instead of showing it. I’m still not entirely sure if I’ve understood Boorman’s shield story correctly. Jade and Kit are cute tho but I would be more excited if they get over their anxious stuff and eventually talk to each other.

    • @starry-eyed, I think you hit the nail on the head about what I love about SLOCG: the friendships between these four girls. I really love them together. And while it sucks to see them end the season in conflict, I think this is a natural part of growing up…and it felt like authentic to the characters and what happens in college.

      You’re right to note that the pacing issues weren’t just limited to Leighton’s storyline. Poor Jackson (and yes, I had to look him up because I couldn’t remember his name) got dumped with no pre-amble, no explanation…nothing. Like they really gave that kid no identity besides being the hot, shirtless guy who has sex a lot. I wish they’d had an episode or two more this season so that we could spend more time with Kimberly recognizing that her feelings for Canaan, explaining that to Jackson and then considering whether or not she wants to break girl code.

      (Also, Kimberly just sold her eggs and now she’s good? No financial problems whatsoever? They really dropped that storyline quick!)

      I liked Whitney’s growth this season but I wonder how she’ll handle this new time-consuming major once soccer resumes and she’s got her duties with the Kappas with which to contend. Also? I’m surprised she didn’t go bang Jackson after seeing Kimberly kissing her ex.

      I’d be more worried about Bela but…where does she think she can transfer to with a 1.8 GPA? That girl is stuck at Essex whether she likes it or not. I hope she (and Whitney) go see a counselor in the third season. They’re both carrying scars from what happened in the first season — Whitney with her coach, Bela with The Catullan — and they’re not going to heal until they confront those issues.

      Alicia is so funny…and Midori Francis just moves with all this swagger…I can’t blame Leighton for falling back into a relationship with her so quickly.

      • @pecola I mean I think TSLOCG would’ve profited so much if it had about 1-3 episodes more. They have so much to tell and so little episode time, so no wonder it feels kinda cramped.

        And totally agreed about Jackson (didn’t even really knew his name, poor guy). And agreed about all them rushed-feeling story-lines. I do am glad tho that they resolved Kimberly’s finance issues.

        As I’m not from the US I did not realize that a 1.8 GPA was bad(-ish)? But yeah, agree about a counselor but tbh most of the Girls would probably benefit from seeing a counselor.

        ALSO!! I just learned that the actor portraying Kimberly is the sister of Timothée Chalamet! I knew they kinda looked similar.

  2. I am a few episodes behind, but there is some wlw relationship in episode 3 of the current season of the Equalizer. Vi, the aunt of Robin(Queen Latifah), is seeing a woman & talking about the fun the had the night before & kiss. Her great niece like walks in on them & Vi introduces her date/gf. For a show on CBS or really any network it’s seems significant & refreshing to see an older black woman in a relationship with another black woman of similar age.

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