What We Love and Hate About Dating Leos

For those who believe in it, astrology can be a powerful tool for introspection and self-knowledge — or you can use it to talk shit about your ex and obsess over your crush. Journey with us as we do both, and then head to the comments to live your truth.

A. Andrews, Cartoonist

We’re the best, obviously.

Archie Bongiovanni, Cartoonist

Leos are cocky, self-assured, kinda bossy, and sometimes a little mean. And actually, I really dig all those traits in partners when also paired with empathy and sweetness. Previous Leo partners were missing the empathy bit, but the current Leo I’m with has a nice balance of both. I love confidence, especially when it’s matched with passion and humor and the Leo I’m with shines when in conversation with others. I think of Leos as tender class clowns. They’re chatty and humorous and really do sort of steal the show in groups. Leos are super generous, they’ll give you five bucks even if they only have ten. Leos are PROUD though, and often in a way that doesn’t serve them or the relationship. Also they’re good at sex.

Vanessa Friedman, Community Editor

I love Leos. My number one love language (to give and receive) is words of affirmation aka heavy praise, and let me tell you, Leos LOVE receiving praise, but also they’re always genuinely extremely hot, and I love telling them that, so Leos and I tend to get along well! I don’t have anything negative to say about Leos. I will say that Rachel Kincaid is my most favorite Leo, not least because of her perfect beautiful mane, but also for nine million other reasons, many of which center around her incredible hotness and her brilliant brain. Yes, this is the kind of praise you can expect from me on the regular if you’re a Leo in my life. DM me, lions.

Stef Schwartz, Vapid Fluff Editor

I’ve had some friends-with-benefits situations with a few Leos over the years, and they’ve always been performers of some kind. They’re always stupid hot and fiercely protective of the things/people/ideals they love. I’m a big fan.

Rachel Kincaid, Former Managing Editor

As a Leo, I have actually never dated a Leo (which is unfortunate!!! I love us!! We’re great partners and dates!!!) As is our way, I will put in a quick pitch for us: we’re loyal, devoted, super fun, really hot, and extremely ride or die for our loved ones. However much you think we’re into ourselves, I promise we are 10x as devoted to the people we love most.

Positive: They make you feel the most loved, always, you can trust that no matter what you do if they love you they will ride with you and handle the shit you should have done differently later; that’s Leo love and respect. There’s something about accountability but also loyalty that I’m fundamentally always going to be enamored with, as it’s the same brand of love I strive to demonstrate — but I understand that’s my personal feeling, not everyone needs that. I think Leos are super hot because they have incredible energy; something about taking the stage and doing that with confidence is incredibly telling. Even when insecure that they can pull through, they got their shit together even when they don’t. It’s reliable and very hot to me. I mean, long live the fucking king. In addition: sex is fun, hair is great.

Negative: Leo pride, as always. Their insecurity or getting caught up in their own shit and not only losing perspective but giving you a presentation on why their perspective is right. I will say though Leos after some processing can get to a point of apology and change; I think the effort has to be put in making them see it, but once they can see it, they can work with it, which is saying a lot about pride and fixed signs, because other signs that are proud are not as accountable. I said what I said.

Alice Sparkly Kat, Contributor

It was fine but it felt hard to get close to her. I also felt like she didn’t really give me a good reason to try. Sometimes I felt like she was trying to impress me but it didn’t make me feel special.

The only time I ever dated a Leo was when we were both between relationships, struggling to get over those exes and using each other as distractions. When it was good it was great, and when it was bad, it was horrifying. I’d either have 100% of their attention or they would ignore me completely, with nothing in-between except snide comments and brutal interactions. We eventually ended things and both went back to our exes… and we each married those exes, so it all worked out in the end.

Carly Usdin, To L and Back Co-Host

I’ve dated several Leos and they were all very mean to me!!!!

Robin Roemer, Contributor

I went back and realized I seriously dated not one but TWO Leos. Leos have this exciting and confident magnetism but the massive ego and need to be the center of attention drives me crazy. The two Leos I dated never stopped imparting their vast knowledge. It’s like, WE GET IT, you know the gestation period for sea turtles, can we enjoy the beach now? But also, years later, you will recall a fact about sea turtles and regurgitate it over dinner and remember a Leo fondly.

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  1. This Leo is loving skimming this for only the positive words and ignoring all the rest! Thanks for this 100% positive nothing negative article about Leos!!!

  2. everyone… you’re welcome. vanessa, thank you so much. mika, also thank you so much, will be assuming those positives are about me. gus: yes.

  3. I’ve got a streak of the Leo in me (Leo moon), so I vibe with Leos, and when I am in the right move will feel like absolutely everything is a personal attack.

    That said, my most tumultuous relationship was with a Leo. Lions have claws, ya’ll!

  4. this leo moon is disappointed! i know how hard it is to take criticism. i know how hard it is to apologize. being queer has to stop being a pass for embodying white supremacist culture. please take the steps needed to make things right and hire, pay, and prioritize black queer people with your funding goals. i want autostraddle to thrive — but not if its only white queers thriving.

    • Am I missing something here? I’ve re-read the post and still don’t see the white supremacist reference!

    • https://twitter.com/acampofficial/status/1156364966838067200?s=21

      What I want to know is why Dan Owens keeps centering their own white voice and trying to tell people what to think after being told multiple times by POC to stop? Why is this white person manipulating people’s outrage to pit them against each other? If they truly care about POC voices as they claim to, instead of being motivated by some personal agenda, they need to sit down and let the people who shared their stories decide for themselves how they want to respond.

    • hello! we posted this on the A+ insider comments but because that is behind a paywall, i’m doing it again here:

      Our A-Camp co-directors posted a statement in response to the Medium blog post on the blog itself, to try to make sure it was part of the public record on the post, but it was hidden by the post’s author multiple times, while they made videos claiming that A-Camp had not responded — so our camp co-directors decided to post the comment directly on A-Camp’s Twitter and immediately retweeted it from Autostraddle because Autostraddle’s account has so many more followers. You can see the statement here. (We would link to the comment on the Medium blog post, but, as I said, every time we do that, it’s immediately hidden from view.) There is also an email in progress to go out to attendees of our most recent camp.

      We acknowledge and will continue to acknowledge that Autostraddle has areas of oversight when it comes to race, gender, and disability; and areas informed by white supremacist structures and a mostly-white leadership team. We’ve been listening to feedback in those areas and working to address them, and will continue to do so; when we’ve received criticism or feedback about harm we’ve caused in good faith, we’ve consistently reached out to those speaking out and addressed the issues directly; we’re happy to say that many readers and staff members who have called out Autostraddle in the past are members of our community today, and we believe in working through conflict when possible and doing the work to repair those relationships. We are incredibly grateful for and indebted to the hard and often frustrating work and advocacy done by our trans and POC staff in consistently holding us accountable and pushing us for change, and many of our accomplishments are a result of that advocacy.

      We do not habitually pat ourselves on the back for our accomplishments in this area because we know we have a LOT of room for improvement. But we do pay our staff and writers equitably, and in fact consistently strive to pay trans and POC writers more than cis white writers. Whenever there is even a smidge of extra profit, we put that towards trans and QTPOC writers first. And we have already begun paying out money you donated during our recent fundraiser to our longtime QTPOC writers (as well as raising our individual rates across the board, and setting aside funding specifically for longform work from our QTPOC writers). Since bringing on Heather in 2014, all of our hires or promotions to the senior staff team have been women of color, including a Black Senior Editor, and we will continue in that spirit with future hires, all of them funded by this fundraising drive.

      Our white camp directors stepped down in June and we have been working toward hiring new QTPOC camp leadership, and hope to do so soon! Although my own involvement in A-Camp planning and leadership has been inconsistent over the years, I will be also officially stepping down from any association with A-Camp leadership to make room for more diverse voices at the top.

      As I mentioned in this month’s A+ letter from the editor, we recognize that A-Camp and Autostraddle are very different entities to run, and formally separating the two to ensure better operation of both is in our immediate plans. Our next funding priority is bringing another POC editor on our senior staff team.

      Also mentioned in our A+ letter from the editor is that the evolution of this business — from unfunded to underfunded — has not been the entire problem, but it has been part of it. As a white person, I felt more comfortable asking white people, rather than POC, to work for free or next-to-nothing. In retrospect, I’m not sure that it made sense to start AS or A-Camp without funding, but it was a different time, and I was very naive about how long it would take to start generating real income. In ensuing years, while our white writers all came to us, we have done extensive outreach to bring more black and other POC writers to Autostraddle and black and other POC staff to A-Camp.

      We have failed our POC, trans, and disabled writers and readers in many ways over the years. We are sincerely sorry for the harm and pain we’ve caused in all of those areas. We’re also eager to continue to learn from our mistakes and keep striving to make Autostraddle a space where everyone under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella feels seen, heard, represented, and safe. And we urge you to stick with us and watch.

      We’ve done what we said we’ll do with our resources in the past, and will continue to do what we promised — raise rates for writers across the board, with funds devoted specifically to paying for work from QTPOC writers, and prioritizing the hire of another full-time senior editor of color — with the money you donated to our fundraiser. We are committed to doing what’s right and to taking responsibility when we fail. We’re thankful to you for holding us accountable and for believing we can do even better. ’Cause we believe that too!

    • @grimdixie thanks for referencing this — as an avid autostraddle reader who’s not on Instagram or Twitter, I was totally unaware that this discussion was even happening

  5. The two times I got BADLY heartbroken was dating Leos. They were ALL about themselves, treating me like something they could drop off and then pick up again whenever they pleased. Also, the sex wasn’t great. Fun fact: they’re both still my friends because, well, lesbianism, and they’re still very sel-centered people, to a point I usually do not agree with.

  6. As a Leo who loves dating Leos, I’m gonna go ahead and agree with Gus on this one! As long as there’s some self awareness around our tendency towards self-centeredness, we are so warm! The care and keeping of your Leo is simple – feed the fire with compliments and affirmations of your love, and we will radiate all the more warmth back to you. I swear, dating other lions is like a feedback loop of adoration when it’s good.

  7. As a Leo currently so very in love with another Leo I think we’re pretty damn special and combining forces can help to keep negative attributes balanced and in check

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