by riese & laneia
Remember when Alex Vega promised to make a dance video after we surpassed $40,000 on our indiegogo campaign? Well it takes time to make dance videos, as I’m sure you’ve surmised, and since then we’ve raised an additional $20,000+, which is AMAZING! Like we’re seriously amazed. So! Now it’s your turn to be amazed , as Alex uses her special dancing skills to persuade you to call your girlfriend. With special guest, Arthur the dog!
I know it seems like we could never top this video, but when we get all the way to $100,000, we’ll have no choice but to top it (that’s what she said) because that’s when Alex will get a tattoo of Tinkerbell on her backside, Haviland Stillwell will sing a song, queer girls will dance and hand jive, and we’ll make the most amazing video ever. But first! Let’s look back at all the other awesome stuff you’ve secured by donating $65,000+.
Alex Vega Dance Video + a brand new Autostraddle
Now can make Autostraddle as slick and user-friendly as you’ve always wanted, and we’ll be able to do all the things we’ve held in our hearts for the past eleventy years! We could weep, we’re so excited.
You Do You boyshorts + cookie extravaganza
These sexy beast boyshorts are being sent to the printer this week and will be available for your generous little asses very soon. More on the cookies below. Wanna see the boyshorts? Stay tuned to Twitter and Facebook, where we’ll be posting it tomorrow. (The website, on the other hand, will take some time!)
Autostraddle This boxer briefs + International Meet-Up Week
Probably our most requested and dreamed of piece of merchandise, “Autostraddle This” boxer briefs are currently being designed by Alex. International Meet-Up Week is scheduled for September 22-30, so save the date. That’s over a week of Autostraddle fun for you and your friends/friends you haven’t met yet! There’ll be an official post about meet-ups super soon.
This was a special incentive put together by Brianna: straddlegifs.tumblr.com, which is super special and awesome.
Now here we are, just under $70k (there was an accidental and possibly sangria-related donation last night of $5k but the donator contacted us this morning to say she didn’t mean to donate that much, so we’re trying to sort that out with indiegogo and the total you’re probably seeing now is actually $5k more than we really have), and only a couple thousand dollars away from making Alex a full-time employ of the site she co-founded over three years ago. And! A little over $10k away from giving Rachel the best birthday present a girl could get: a fair salary. So we’ve decided to make this week really count.
+ Today and tomorrow are officially Make Alex Full-Time Days. We need her here like we need sunshine and water, you guys. I know you know this. And I really truly believe we can make it happen TODAY. In addition to making Alex a full-time employ, you’ll be getting a NSFW Coloring Book and two livestream chats with a variety of team members.
+ Wednesday we’re having a Bake Sale, when cookie orders will be unlimited for one day only. You can have any food allergy on the planet, and I promise we will still be able to make you some cookies.
+ Friday is Make Rachel Full-Time Day. It’s Rachel’s birthday on 8/17, so the whole day will be dedicated to Rachel and how much we love her/want to give her a paycheck . She already has been working full-time for two years, she’s just not getting paid for it. In addition to making Rachel’s dreams come true, $80k will also mean a larger fund set aside for paying writers, which is everyone’s dream. Everyone who’s donated will be getting the chance to win one of Two A-Camp Camperships, plus people who bought the Limited Edition ‘Zine perk will also snag a bonus: You Do You t-shirt, cookies or a handmade card. Neat!
We’re gonna smash our heads together this week and come at you with some dates so you can anticipate when we’ll be in touch and fulfill things like ‘zines, advertising, meet-ups, t-shirts, etc., and when other various incentives will actually happen and website progress will be made. Nothing gets sent out ’til after the campaign ends, which is the first week of September, and we’re all heading up to camp the second week. We’ll have better dates for you soon!
So. Fucking. Hot. Worth every penny.
And how the hell did that wig not fall off?
thank you this was also my question.
That’s a wig?!
three bobby pins.
that was GREATNESS. can she please do that live at a meet-up or A-camp?!
please oh please oh please
This is probably the best thing ever invented since like, sex.
I think Arthur needs an Autostraddle onesie.
Just when I thought Alex’s hair couldn’t possibly get any better.
That. Was brilliant.
As great as this is and as hard as Alex definitely worked to learn that, the dance is still ridiculous right? How is it that when robyn does it it doesn’t look ridiculous? That woman has a gift.
Anyway, thank you! I giggled a lot and felt a warm glow watching this.
I hope everyone involved had a hearty drink before and after recording.
oh man. It’s such a ridiculous dance.
short blonde hair and rolling on the floor…a very potter musical’s draco malfoy anyone?:]
awesome dance job!!!!!
This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen ever.
I think Arthur kind of made the video. What a sexpot.
Nice work, Alex! Mad props.
Arthur says Thank You and also *wink.
guys guys guy let’s start spamming Robyn on twitter for an RT of this vid and hopefully attract more peoples and mo’ monies to the fundraising campaign … @robynkonichiwa … go go go!
i like your thinking.
You guys should have a google plus chat so we can meet you all in “3D” haha
One of the perks for $500 is hanging out with us on a Skype call! Also, when we reach one of our middle fundraising milestones we’ll do a livecast on video that you guys can check out!
There will be gifs of this dance. Count on it.
+ alex’s outfit for this could not be more perfect
+ i had forgotten how long this is? this video/dance is so long
+ i feel like robyn and alex would get along really well in person, like they might be best friends?
+ possibly we should also auction off that wig, i would pay at least $100
+ really though you have to call your girlfriend
I’m wondering how many beers is the appropriate amount that provides the courage to do this and yet also the ability to remember over 3 minutes of choreography.
I’m kind of picturing Haviland behind the camera feeding Alex the moves Toddlers and Tiaras style?
This was so good.
I think I just had an out of body experience.
Congrats on being full-time/getting paid like you’re full time. It’s preliminary congrats because I know we can do it!
I was amazed/impressed/wondering how there was another $5000 donation. Haha WHOOPS.
just when I thought I couldnt like Alex Vega more!! <3
and that doooog!!!
NO 5K DONOR PLEASE LET THEM HAVE IT, PLEEEEASE
Alex and Arthur should totes go on tour together. This made my day…also, that yellow entertainment stand! I love it!
It’s not playing for me!!!!!!!! Why is it not playing?!?!?! Nooooooooooooooo!
Dead. that video is so perfect.
I really shouldn’t have watched this in a coffee shop. I didn’t do my usually well crafted illusion of semi-normalcy any favors.
I have a question. If we donate again, will that amount be added to our previous donation as far as goodies go? So if I donated 25 last time and donate another 25, I’ll now get the 50 dollar goody bag?
it doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. but you should still get some cookies bc they’re going to be tasty little treats straight from our very hearts.
Haha okay well… we’ll see if I can manage it. :)
Oh my god that’s gorgeous. :D I was giggling the whole way through, and oh man, that’s really impressive, that dancing in the last part! ENERGETIC.
Well great, now I’m in love with Robyn, Alex Vega, AND Arthur the Dog
Haha, who had a little too much sangria last night? Side-eyeing you.
Um, that was amazing. Also that gif tumblr. A+
The gif tumblr is my favorite thing about life right now.
That was the best thing I have seen all day. Alex, you are a choreography beast. How do you remember all of that?!
You Guys. Yes.
I wish I was there in person!
I need a repeat of Friday night!
This was amazing!
Arthor as a back up killed it! <3
50 shades of fucking great
I had to seriously fight the urge to stand up at cheer at the end of that video. I only restrained myself because my office currently is in the middle of the Adirondacks, at a summer camp, and all the kiddos are sleeping.
I’m making summer camp salary and I threw in $150. It’s time to search the couch cushions here friends.
Oh my god. That was SO PERFECT. I had to keep my hand clamped over my mouth so I wouldn’t start squealing.
I know the Olympics are over but I give you 10/10 for that routine.
I might have to call my girlfriend.
Is it time you had The Talk?
The dog! The wig! The somehow remembering that much choreography! Brilliant. All of it.
I’ve never heard this song. But I learned something…
0:27 How to enter a room/bar/club/interview
0:34 How to exit that room/bar/club/interview
Definitely a way to win people’s hearts.
Thank you Alex!
the story of how this video got made is really ridiculous — the short version is that we were unable to shoot it at a Robyn dance party in Brooklyn because it was at capacity, alex didn’t drink very much beer but I finished hers after she left, and Robin gave Alex’s Lady Gaga wig a bowl cut to make the Robyn wig — but the biggest thing to note is that ALEX DID THIS ALL IN ONE TAKE AND THAT TAKE WAS THE FIRST TAKE. that was it. one take. nothing more.
Omg that wig!!
i am really proud of all of you but also sad that the part where you came to my apartment and lemon and i forced you into a half hour drunken conversation about i-don’t-know-what is left out of the short version of the story.
First take!? That’s hella impressive.
I’m picturing Robin using an actual bowl to cut out the perfection that is that wig. Priceless!
Napoleon Dynamite? Who’s that? :)
Total awesomesauce Alex! I loved it!
Doesn’t seem to work on mobiles (= cell phones?) – mine says that the content owner hasn’t enabled it. But, I want that content! Help!
Yes, me too! I won’t be around a real computer til tomorrow afternoon! This is torture. Worse than Christmas eve.
the ending it´s jus perfect. the all thing. perfect.
Does it not functionate in Canader?!
Yes it does!
there are no words. alex, you possess a gift. use it well.
with great power comes great responsibility.
Oh god, I haven’t donated yet, but I totally will!
And not only the dance, but also the lyrics are ridicoulus! Who tells their girlfriend not to get upset and ‘it’s gonna be me and her’ when they break up with her?!
Wow. This is my first comment (after much lurking) because I have to say, that video did NOT disappoint. Off to make my first donation because Alex literally just blew my mind and my panties off.
Oh noooooooooooooooooooo, Y ALEX VEGA NOT AVAIBLE IN MY COUNTRY :C
Now I can not say that I ever lived, ´cause I can´t see her dance. My life so damn meaningless!
Straddle this briefs for reals?!?! <3 <3 <3
Also, payday tomorrow. Cookies sound good.
That just made my day! Alex I salute you.
I think my favourite part is the laughing in the background. This was totally worth eating lentils for most of last week.
WHY GERMANY WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I won’t be back in Canada for another 3 weeks. This is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me…
YEAH!WTF? I wanna watch it …especially after reading all the comments! wtf!
Somebody got moves like Jagger
was i the only one jealous of the floor and alex crawling around on it! i mean damn! i realy wanna be a that hard wood floor right now!!!!!
Sorry what was that sound? oh it was just the sound of my knickers hitting the other side of the room… nothing too see here.
UNDERPANTS UNDERPANTS UNDERPANTS!!!!!!!!!!!
Autostraddle’s got mad game, yo.
That was awesome!!!
so my boss loves Robyn and our department just watched this video together. Alex, you are now loved by the entire bronx digital learning non-profit crew and so is your dog.
and our little dog, too?!!
hahahaha wow the best part was when the dog decided to take part of it
Alex Vega: Inspire a generation
of queer girls.
Yay! I finally found a real computer and got to watch! So worth the wait! the wig, the rolling around. Perfect. The fellas at the soccer pub I watched it at “didn’t get it”. I told them it would kind of weird me out if they did “get it”. Then they asked if this is what all lesbians do in there free time.
I know I do.
I haven’t watched the video because i’m in work and hence should be working, jsut wondering when the perks will be sent out so i can be all excited about my you do you sticker? :D
“Nothing gets sent out ’til after the campaign ends, which is the first week of September, and we’re all heading up to camp the second week. We’ll have better dates for you soon!” – this post
How can we make this video available to other countries? Like Germany?
I watched the video and then, in a haze of lust, mechanically handed over money to the indiegogo campaign. Way to play to our weaknesses, Autostraddle. Well done.
im impressed, for a joke this was pretty damn hot!! alex has skills, mad skills
I wonder if anyone remembers my promise back on the first article about the fundraiser? I said I was poor as fuck, and I couldn’t donate, so I promised you guys I’d make youtube videos instead… well here you go!
No that’s not it, the actual video is taking an EXTREMELY LONG TIME TO LOAD, and I’ll post a link as soon as it’s done… please dont laugh at my poor video making skills.
Oh, one more thing:
i know. it’s like she ripped the hair right off miley cyrus’s newly coiffed head.
Hi guys, guess what? DA VID: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xsijkp8CrI0&feature=youtu.be
Call your girrrrlfriend, it’s time you had the talk. Give your reeeaaasons, say it’s nooot her fault. But youuuuu just saw Alex Vega daaaance, and noooow you can’t stop thinking ’bout-her in your paaaants.
Maaay have gathered the whole staff at my “office” into our lounge for a viewing of this little gem…So good!
I’m assuming when you say “staff” you mean a bunch of animals so I’m guessing Arthur has a fan club now? He’d like to meet a penguin, and be “he” I mean “I”
Well yes. I actually don’t work with any humans. But the three parakeets, pig, monkey and both goats started a fuckyeahaurthur tumblr! Great news!
i’m usually a cynical bitch on here, but that was the shit.
Arthur is behaving much like my cats do when I do yoga.
…that shit was HOT – and totally inspired me to whip out my wallet.
So, the uh – Tinkerbell tattoo on Alex’s “backside” goal. there will be pics, right? LOTS of them, I hope…
Oh there will be video.
This would be an excellent commercial for Nike’s “Find Greatness” campaign.
Alex Vega, you are an asset. We loved you when you did Gaga, when you were Kesley, now, man, you brought the house down yet again. Cheers!