Top 10 Most Insufferable Men On Television

So I admit that I actually really like that new TV show Girls  — I don’t think it’s the voice of anybody’s generation or representative of anybody’s anything, but generally I find it relatable and amusing. However, many feel the program is offensive, irritating or otherwise problematic. But subjectively there’s only one aspect of the show that I can’t stand, and it’s the character of Adam Sackler. God I HATE THAT GUY. SIT ON A KNIFE, ADAM SACKLER, SIT ON A M*THERF*CKING KNIFE PLEASE.

The more I thought about exactly how much I hate Adam Sackler — did I, for example, hate him more or less than Mohinder? More or less than every male character ever on The L Word except James? The more I thought about exactly how much I hate Adam Sackler, the more I thought about all the other boys on television that I hated. After spending so many minutes in this dark place, I realized that as a man-hating radical feminist socialist anarchist lesbian militant, it is my duty to share this dark place with you and introduce you to the shady men who occupy it.

 

The 10 Most Annoying Dudes on the Television

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10. Kevin Malone on The Office

me need leave show

Kevin’s act was funny for the first few episodes, kinda, but as we age together as a planet and he remains about 12, I can’t fathom anyone finding his unrealistic profoundly stupid character watchable, let alone funny. I get it — you’re simple-minded and like to make strange faces! Hahahahhaha! Shut up.

 

9. Kevin Webster on Coronation Street

waa waa i'm such a victim waa waaa i should probs check my privilege waaaaa

Sometimes an annoying man copulates with a nice lady and the lady becomes impregnated and consequently births a lesbian who many, many years later acquires a girlfriend and therefore attracts my attention. During my extended relationship with Corrie’s lesbo-storyline, I was constantly punched in the face by this guy. He started way more drama than any lesbian in the history of lesbians and was an unapologetic self-centered asshole to his strange and slightly irritating — though delightful in comparison to her husband — wife.

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8. Oliver Trask on The O.C.

i'm going to eat you later and then shoot myself in the face

I think Oliver’s arc signaled the end of my relationship with The O.C — Marissa’s idiotic vulnerability to his transparent wiles was too frustrating to witness, as was her disregard for Ryan’s relevant advice. Plus — ew. Just ew!

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7. House on House

i know why you're dying but i'm not gonna tell you until I'm done making 56 crass jokes about your vagina.

Not even Olivia Wilde — you heard me, NOT EVEN OLIVIA WILDE — can make up for the presence of this misogynistic manipulative smug asshole on this show and therefore I cannot actually watch it.

 

6. Matty on Skins (Series 3)

sometimes i practice brooding in the mirror

Apparently not everybody felt the same way I do about Matty, the dark brooding OH-SO-COMPLICATED irresponsible emo quasi-rebel from the third cast of Skins who makes Jordan Catalano look like the best boyfriend ever. He’s one of those guys who gets away with exhibiting reckless disregard towards the emotions of other human beings because he MUST pursue the TRUTH and BEAUTY and ACHING of his OH-SO-COMPLICATED emotional state. Also, Frankie’s devotion to his inconsiderate sexiness pulled her away from the lesbian storyline we’d written for her in our minds.


5. Bill Compton on True Blood

"SOOKIE"

I understood Sookie’s attraction to this cold emotionless dead hunk of man when she was still an innocent virginal nymphette, but surely she’s old enough to know better by now. Especially when she could be with Nice Eric!

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4. Finn Hudson on Glee

durrr

I debated whether or not Finn really belonged on this list, as he is only partially human — rumor has it he’s actually made out of mashed potatoes and, I believe, drywall. But how could I complain about insufferable men without complaining about Finn Hudson?

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3. Will Schuester on Glee

I sometimes hurt for poor Matthew Morrison, previously regarded as a sexy leading man on Broadway. Now his reputation has now been marred by the bizarrely irresponsible, antiquated, cliche-soaked and sexually-creepy personality developed for Will Schuster on Glee. +

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2. Adam Sackler on Girls

It’s just that I know this guy — he’s like so many guys that my female friends and I dated when we’d just moved to Manhattan from college. It’s like you’ve just gotten into the world and everyone has warned you about that world and how awful and bad it is and how mean and careless people are. So when something bad happens, like this guy, you’re like “oh, maybe this is how life is, maybe this guy is how life is.” In two years this guy has to shape up or end up alone, but there’s that middle period where he happens, and G-d I just want to spork his eyeballs into a stew of arsenic.

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1. Any Man or Half-Man in Two & A Half Men

I’ve only ever watched one episode of this show, but that was enough to cement my certainty that this guy is a first-rate misogynist waste of space. I hear Chuck Sheen’s off the show and has been replaced by Ashton Kutcher, the star of another show I hated — That 70’s Show — but I imagine it remains offensive, reductive and relentlessly popular.

Who drives you crazy?


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Riese is the 36-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2510 articles for us.

153 Comments

  1. There was this guy in my theatre class in high school who wanted to be House when he grew up. He would literally do a fake limp while being a smug, condescending asshole. He then got lippy with me and I promised him I’d make him limp for real if he didn’t fuck off. It. felt. amazing.

  2. The strange thing is, Lena Dunham writes men/boys VERY well. Sometimes I can barely watch when her male characters are on screen because I’m like “ughhhhh yes I know him, please make him go away”.

    • The House/Sherlock Holmes character is kind of awful in every incarnation though, the new BBC Sherlock especially comes to mind. Man I love autostraddle, if I said that on tumblr I’d be shunned.

        • Hold me, both of you. BBC Sherlock is a misogynistic douchenozzle, but god forbid you ever point out to tumblr fandom that he’s just another Mary Sue white male hero. (Steven Moffat even went and made him straight, just to ensure he’s kyriarchical every way from Sunday.)

          • I was the number one candidate for loving the new Sherlock, being a huge fan of the Beeb’s dramas generally & having read the stories obsessively since roughly birth, but I just can’t. The series/Stephen Moffat makes me want to yell “YOU ARE NOT AS SMART AS YOU THINK YOU ARE”, the people I know who love it are mostly knobs (personal bias there admittedly), Benedict Cumberbatch isn’t right, and I don’t like the reimagining of Moriarty. I like the little nods to the books and stuff, and I really wanted to like it, but overall it’s a no. Couldn’t even watch the final episode.

            Man it feels good to let that out. You’re right Frankie, AS is a Benedict Cumberbatch safe space.

            Also, Stephen Moffat’s obsession with lesbians creeps me the fuck out, let’s just put that out there.

          • The Irene episode was honest to god one of the worst, most dissapointing hours of television I’ve ever had to sit through.

            And Stephen Moffat GOD. He’s ruined Doctor Who for me, and Doctor Who is like a British Institution. Ugh and he’s even worse in interviews, I just hate the fact that one of the biggest writers and producers in British television seems to have a genuine disregard for female characters and gets a kick out of constantly taking away their agency.

            Stephen Moffat should be on this list, I don’t care that he’s not fictional, I’m in a rage now.

          • THANK YOU Irene Adler oh my god, I wanted to kick everyone I knew. “The” woman, reduced to someone helplessly infatuated with the almighty Sherlock. I can’t even. Also I am pretty sure Steven Moffat has never met a lesbian, or said the word BDSM without giggling.

            UGH MY HATE IS A FLAME.

          • Hmm, interesting! I found Stephen Moffat’s Doctor Who to have significantly less gender fail and race fail than Russel T Davies episodes. If I ever meet RTD, I will probably punch him in the face and say “this is for River Song, you asshat”.

            That said I think you make a good point, he writes strong female characters and then ultimately it turns out they don’t have power and autonomy… because they’re women. The Amy pregnancy storyline is awful. I still feel like she was sabotaged less than Rose, Martha and Donna though.

          • Ugh, God, Irene.

            How did a drama produced and set in 2011 manage to take a pretty-decent-for-its-time short story FROM THE VICTORIAN ERA that treated its female character with dignity and agency and turn it into a sexist clusterfuck about a lesbian dominatrix. More importantly, WHY?

            On the plus side, I think I’m a little in love with everyone in this thread.

          • But… I love Season 5 of DW… Season 6, not so much. Moffat created all of the creatures that haunt my nightmares, and I like his stories most of the time. RTD, on the other hand, I didn’t like. If I didn’t like a season 1-4 ep, it was probably written by him.

            Irene was awful though. I mean I loved some parts, and HATED others. Especially the ending.

          • The Irene episode WHYYYYYYYY
            Why would an attractive, self-assured lesbian dominant (or come to think of it, any lady with half a brain) fall helplessly and pathetically for that socially undeveloped, deliberately nasty little smart-arse virginal wanker! It’s the whole femme fatale trope that any woman with a working brain and libido has to be punished by collapsing at the feet of some dude. BORING. And that Molly character who stares at him like a dejected puppy- Mother of tired television storylines. I don’t know why women want to hang themselves off his cheekbones.

            Ok, that’s my rant. I may have gotten a little carried away because I’ve never encountered a Cumberbatch safe space before. Does anyone else think that the name Benedict Cumberbatch is the most preposterously English name ever? I kind of like him a bit more for that. And at least Watson’s a cool guy. I’d take him for a beer.
            Whew. FEELINGS.

        • As a bi girl I don’t even understand why the fan girls find Cumberbatch so attractive…. Then again, most of the time I don’t understand why straight fangirls find the men they find attractive attractive.

      • If you’re hating on Cumberbatch, I recommend watching him get dumped like yesterdays news by Nan in the first twenty minutes of Tipping the Velvet.

        I rewatched it recently and the moment of the young lesbian coming into her identity and realising that her sort-of-boyfriend pales in comparison to her new cross-dressing lady-crush goes from heartwarming to hilarious when the actor has since become a teen heartthrob.

        • Really? I mean yes, the show is often awful, but I feel like the show is currently pretty varied in its representations of smart women, with Bernadette, Amy Farah-Fowler, and Leslie Winkle. Penny herself isn’t actually stupid, she just doesn’t give a shit about physics.

    • I love Big Bang Theory, and I think that I like and dislike all of them equally, but my greatest irritation is reserved for Sheldon, because he can be such an arsehole.
      I love the female characters on the show more than the male characters, but I like how well the characters are written – Sheldon and Amy’s relationship, and the Sheldon and Amy character’s in particular, also Penny’s character, are written with a lot of humanity – which I find compelling to watch. Also just reiterating that Penny is not dumb at all, she just has no interest in physics, and she is more than capable in living her life her way..

  3. THANK YOU for bringing up that dude on GIRLS. I love GIRLS, I love Lena Dunham, I want to be on the show, I think it’s brave and wonderful and totally inspiring. Having said that, that character is so annoying. I was talking to a straight friend about it and she said, “omg, that guy is so hot.” I was like, wait WHAT? but doesn’t he remind you of every annoying asshole who all your friends dated when you were like 24? And she said, “yeah, but still. he’s hot.”

    And there you go. LENA DUNHAM for the major win.

    • I get Brian (he may be a jerk who treated Justin like crap, but boy is he hot) but not Don.

      I actually think Vincent Kartheiser is kind of cute, but Pete Campbell is the biggest douche on the planet, so…

  4. Not gonna lie, but in the last season Frankie was a milliongazzilion times more annoying and unlikable than Matty had ever been in the entire two season. She is the sole reason I got fed up of the entire series and stopped watching it before the season 2 finale.

    • OMG THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!! When I saw the thing about Matty I wanted to be like “BUT FRANKIE’S WORSE!” The second season’s not even worth watching. Nobody has their own storylines at that point. Skins becomes “The Frankie Show” and is terrible in every way possible. I’ve said my piece.

    • Um, guys? It was the second season of the third generation, but the sixth season overall.

      Just wanted to clarify that because imo the second season of Skins overall is actually one of the best ever and I hope no one is discouraged from watching it by these comments!

    • OH MY GOD GLEN ! i can’t believe I forgot Glen. I knew I was missing somebody. I even have photos of me and carly holding a picture of glen and making terrible faces from our SON recaps.

    • nope i hate him, and even more than that i hate anyone aspiring to be sexy, assertive, and successful in anything labeling themselves ‘the don draper of ____.’

      UGH. JUST BE YOUR SEXY SELF.

    • don draper is terrible and so are people with a false sense of nostalgia for the 60’s. i quit watching mad men after a season and half, and don’t plan on continuing ever.

      • But I feel like people who get nostalgic for the ’60s from watching Mad Men are missing the point of the show. It spares no punches in making it clear to viewers how much it sucked to be anything other than a straight, white (but not Jewish) man at that time.

        Also, I don’t know if people who get “nostalgic” for the ’60s are necessarily terrible, especially if they are people who were not actually alive during the ’60s and think it was a better time for women and non-whites (I don’t think anyone thinks the ’60s was good for gays) than it actually was. Case in point: me, age 14. I got better, because I’m a history buff. But it’s easy if you’re not exactly well-versed in history to fall for the painting of that era as a time that was full of nothing but hippies and everyone loved Democrats and liberal, social-justice values.

        Unless you watch Mad Men.

    • I loved the first season of heroes SO MUCH, Mohinder included. But something really bizarre happened to the show after that. I’m not sure why it got so crappy, cause it was so good in the beginning. Mohinder’s character got REALLY weird though….

      • The first season was GREAT. When they killed off a bunch of really interesting, promising characters, introduced a whole bunch of NEW randoms we didn’t give a shit about when there was still a giant ensemble cast to explore, dragged out the Sylar storyline way too long, and then turned 80% of the plot arcs into Petrelli family bullshit… Heroes was pretty much doomed.

        The writing also took a seriously bizarre dive–I LOVED all the characters in Season 1, but in Season 2? They all get WEIRDER THAN SNAKE SHOES. It was like the whole cast had been replaced by robots that barely knew their own names, much less their characters.

  5. I second this Don Draper thing. I get that it’s a show set in the 60’s but his attitude towards women just makes me cringe. (especially the whole chivalrous/gentlemanly aspect.. BARF!)

    I used to hate Pete as well until I realized he was supposed to be a caricature and therefore incredibly funny. I also find him quite hilarious this season.

    as for House as a character… I’m unsure 90% of the time whether House is supposed to be seen as a pathetic loser or just surly/misogynistic/anti-social/cynical/etc. I do love Hugh Laurie though, and I think he’s pretty fucking amazing.

    • Yeah, as much as an insufferable douche Pete would be if I knew him actually I like him as a fictional character. Much like how I felt about Tony Stonem on Skins. Pricks can sometimes make for good characters, and that’s often the case on Mad Men (where there are very few completely likable characters, but nevertheless they are compelling).

  6. Andy Bernard from “The Office” (US), in later seasons. Started off funny (and his renditions of “Zombie” and “Closer to Fine” were effing priceless), then became just sad and annoying. But then again, that’s pretty much the whole show.

    • THANK YOU. I will never understand the appeal of Mr. Big, or people who aspired to date Mr. Big. Nothing like telling women that a man can treat you like garbage and then make up for it with Manolos!

  7. 1.Matt on Nip/tuck- He just makes a lot of bad decisions
    2.Jack Shepard on LOST- He’s bossy and annoying as fuck
    3.Garett on pretty little liars- besides creeping everyone out,What is his purpose on the show?
    4.That guy on lip service that used to work with Cat and slept with Frankie
    5. The entire cast of skins generation 3

  8. About 85% of the male characters from Big Love.

    Also, Maybe I’m the only person left that still watches The Walking Dead…however, I have to nominate Shane and Carl from TWD. Shane’s horrible attributes are rather obvious and I hate when a television character makes me so uncomfortable, I can’t help but laugh the whole time at them. I want to simultaneously despise and respect characters. Carl from The Walking Dead because…just stay in the god damn house, little dude.

    If we were voting on, “Worst Mothers on Television,” I would suggest Lori. But, again, I’m probably the last person left watching that damn show.

    • Up until the last season, Big Love was so spot on in their portrayal of Mormon patriarchy that it gave me chills. So yes, all the men were major, major creeps.

      And it made me laugh whenever I heard Mormons complain the Big Love was being unfair to them because it was being so fair to them. It was being generous.

      • Considering the fact that the show had polygamist couples when the mainstream LDS church has not been polygamist for well over a century, I can understand the criticism on those grounds, because even though, if you watch the show, they make it clear the Henricksons are not mainstream LDS (as there are multiple subplots about the social and political costs of polygamy for the Henricksons in dealing with mainstream LDS members, such as Barb being disowned by her family or Bill feeling the need to hide it during his political campaign) the way it was viewed by a lot of people who didn’t watch the show and only heard about it through the larger media didn’t help with that misconception, especially coupled with the high-profile raids on actual FLDS compounds.

        Other than that, though, you are right. I just feel like most of the Mormon criticism of the show has been on the “it makes us look like polygamists” grounds and, to a degree, I get that.

  9. Why did you hate Mohinder? I liked Mohinder a lot, found him charming, and now, since your opinion counts so much, I’m kind of confused… 🙂 Why why why?? 😀
    I agree with the others you mentioned and that I’ve heard of, but I would add that, if I can’t stand Bill Compton, Sookie is even worst for me, so to me, they’re like a perfect match.

  10. i know this isnt a guy, but on modern family when they had Alex, the smart girl who could possibly be feminis and who did not like dolls when she was little, have a “revelation” and suddenly want a doll as a teenager! im sure a guy wrote that baloney!

  11. I would like to add Pete Campbell of Mad Men to this list. Something about that baby face of his, teamed with his ability to take good news and turn it into the worst day of his life to date in the blink of an eye… The tantrums he throws! His adultery — like that one episode where he sleeps with the prostitute because he feels he has to in order to fit in, and then is all pissed off because Don judges him for it (though, who is Don to judge, really?). Insufferable.

  12. Please don’t forget that not only is Finn made of mashed potatoes but that according to Santana his nipples are filled with custard. (One of the best lines ever on tv that also made me be sick in my mouth).

  13. Chuck Bass or whatever that guys name was on Gossip Girl.

    Two and a Half Men… I once shared my despise for that show to a family member who watches it. I referenced misogynists, and he confusedly asked what a misogynist was. I can’t make this stuff up.

  14. I would add Puck and (most of the time but not always because Glee lacks consistency) Artie to insufferable men on Glee.

    I’m amused you just lumped everyone together on Two and a Half Men.

    I actually like House and Matty though.
    House only sometimes and I think it’s Hugh Laurie that makes him somehow likable despite a lot of things.
    I absolutely loved S5 of Skins and the whole main cast, I liked Matty and my fondness for him grew out of defensiveness during S5. (I didn’t hate S6 but I didn’t like it nearly as much as S5.)

  15. Dan Scott on One tree hill- I can’t fit all the shitty things this guy did in here and I stopped watching OTH after season 5 so he probably did more stuff that I’m not aware of.
    Michael on LOST- he killed Anna Lucia (Michelle Rodriguez)

  16. I just don’t understand why you hate Mohinder. I love him! If I had to fuck any man it would be Mohinder Suresh, well other than the guy I lost my virginity to because its too late to take that one back. But seriously, I’m pretty sure he was reason #4 for why I kept watching Heroes after it got bad. What a mensch!

    • um, i can’t remember why i hated him, i just remember that i did — but i liked him in season one, which was when i first learned that everybody else hated him, or at least internet recappers hated him, and i didn’t know why. but in season two he started to annoy me as well, though again i can’t remember why anymore.

  17. “7. House on House”

    THANK YOU. I watched one episode of this show and am still mad about the wasted time. Why anyone would put up with this sociopathic sanctimonious ass for one hour is beyond me, let alone an entire career. It’s a problem I have with a lot of shows actually–like why would so many people hang out with these characters who clearly have glaring issues and are still emotionally twelve? (like Monica from Friends, god that character)I guess it’s just supposed to be cute when someone attractive and/or gifted does it.

  18. Ted Mosby. First of all, Ted, brevity is the soul of wit. Your children have been sitting on that goddamn couch for over a hundred hours now. Second, why the fuck do you have friends/are you the protagonist of this show. You’re boring and whiny and have no interesting qualities except being a little bit nerdy and the only thing you can focus on is needing to get a wife.

    Grah. I’m addicted to HIMYM, but at the same time I know it’s awful, and has completely jumped the shark this season.

    • Thank you! I love HIMYM but every other storyline is so much more interesting than Ted’s “I need a wife”-whining.
      If he wasn’t the narrator, this show could really do without him.

      Oh and he has to leave Robin alone..

  19. I know he’s not fictional, but he is a man, and he is on tv: Ricky Gervais. Anything he’s in or doing irritates me, probably because he’s a privileged, insufferable douchecanoe.

  20. Pretty sure I read this when it was written in 2012, but just now googled “autostraddle riese worst men on TV” to find it again because I started watching “Girls” the other day and somehow recalled that Riese hated this guy and RIGHTLY SO since he is the absolute fucking worst. Thank you.

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