Top 10 Ways To Eat Melted Cheese

By Riese and also Laneia

My top two Food Situations are as follows:

1. peanut butter
2. melted cheese

This weekend as I was making myself a quesadilla and thinking about my life, I realized that melted cheese is one of my favorite things about being alive. Unlike the economy, lesbian reality television, hair wax and your shower’s water pressure; melted cheese never disappoints and can do no wrong. I mean, sometimes I refer to my microwave as my “cheese melter.”

Bonus: Melting cheese on top of an otherwise unsavory meal may not produce a result you’d eat in front of anyone besides your cat, but it’s almost always a great way to make food better. Melted cheese is the puffy coat of food — it may not always be pretty, but it gets the job done.

My Top Ten Favorite Ways to Eat Melted Cheese

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10. Cheeseburgers

cheeseburgers are not kosher, literally

Cheeseburgers are cannon.

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9. Macaroni & Cheese

“if i had a million dollars i wouldn’t have to eat kraft dinner, but i would” -barenaked ladies

We recently found a recipe for Macaroni & Cheese that claims to be “healthy,” which has really changed my life. I may cite Easy Mac as one of the twenty-first century’s best inventions, but nothing beats a giant casserole dish of homemade macaroni and cheese. Unless you’re eight years old, in which case you probably love Kraft Dinner and shouldn’t be reading this website, it’s for adults.

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8. English Muffins

When I’m too busy to think about food, I melt cheese on something, usually an english muffin. I butter and toast the muffin, and then I microwave it with cheese on top for about 20 seconds.  It keeps me full for about ~30 minutes, at which point I must find something else to melt cheese upon, such as triscuts or a bagel.

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7. Brie With Rosemary Bread & Red Wine

You take a pretty big chunk of brie, put it in a ramekin and cover it with some foil maybe then warm it in IDEALLY a toaster oven but you can use a giant oven, whatever. When it’s melty and gooey, get it out, put apricot/raspberry/fig jam on top of it and then EAT IT by scooping it into your face with a piece of rosemary bread. Take a drink of red wine and then take another bite and then keep doing this until you forget what sucked about your day.

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6. Nachos

As long as you have chips and cheese, you can put anything else in between them and it’s NACHOS. You could probably put tofu under the cheese, or broccoli. But don’t, that’s gross.

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5. Arby’s Beef & Cheddar

So terrible, yet so delicious. Hands down totes Arby’s, y’all!

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4. Quesadillias

Usually I eat quesadillas when I’m really drunk. Pancheros make the perfect quesadillas for a drunk college student; so gooey and warm in their tin-foil homes. Rumor has it most people enjoy quesadillas with more than just cheese– things like meats and vegetables. Sounds fun!

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3. Omelettes

this omelet would be better if it was served with hash browns instead of a bed of parsley and weeds

For me, egg white omelettes are the best food to order at breakfast. Pancakes induce coma, and omelettes include vegetables. Yesterday Marni made me a delicious omelette. (That’s an example of me using “omelette” in a sentence)

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2. Pizza

pizza party in your pants

Many companies will deliver pizza right to your doorstep for free!  If you win anything at school or in life, you get to have a pizza party. That’s the rules.

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1. Grilled Cheese

Grilled cheese can be fancy or simple, depending on your mood, which makes it the most versatile sandwich of all sandwiches, actually. Do you feel 8 yrs old? Kraft Singles. Are you watching The Devil Wears Prada? Jarlsberg. Is it raining? Pepper jack, shredded sharp cheddar and bacon. Do you want to feel very special? Fresh mozzarella, strips of basil, sliced tomatoes. grated parmesan.

As I mentioned here; it is a truth universally acknowledged that preparing a grilled cheese for your significant other is a Key Relationship Moment, with pancakes coming in at a close second.

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Which melted cheese items on this list are your favorite? What melted cheese delights are missing from the list? Do you vehemently disagree with our assertion about making grilled cheese for your sleepover buddies? Are you concerned about Vegan Erasure? Do you find this post tired and annoying, and if so, would you feel differently if you knew about the Content Crisis we are having today? I think you would. Anyhow, please share your feelings in the comments! We recommend that you respond to us very aggressively and loudly to communicate the full extent of your disappointment. This is very important work, after all. Please employ all caps and excessive punctuation!!!!!!

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2741 articles for us.

171 Comments

  1. Oh! And saganaki, which is basically just cheese that you set on fire, add lemon juice to, and eat with garlic bread.
    Melted cheese is also surprisingly good on rice.
    Sorry for multiple comments but I just have a lot of feelings about cheese ok ;____;

  2. I like cheese that is melty and also crunchy, and the broiler is basically the best thing for that. Microwave a shit-ton of frozen broccoli, throw it onto a pan and smother with grated cheese, salt and pepper and stick it under the broiler, and in 10 minutes, you have my dinner 3 nights a week.

    I knew my girlfriend loved me when we visited her family in Illinois for the first time and she drove me to Wisconsin for the sole purpose of acquiring cheese.

  3. you’ll all thank me later

    step 1) toast 1 slice bread, slice cheese
    step 2) fry 2 slices bacon, once one side is done, flip 1 slice, place cheese on bacon, flip other bacon to on top of cheese (like a cheese sandwich, but bacon instead of bread
    step 3)cook second bacon slice on other side, put in to half slice of bread, put other slice of bread on to (to make a sammich)
    step 4) OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

  4. I want all the cheese.

    Addition: Carefully remove the top of a WHOLE Camembert (eat ALL the cheese). Put herbs on it. Herb it good. In the oven it goes, still in the little wooden box. Wait impatiently until it’s a nice golden colour on top. Remove from oven, grab some white, crusty bread and then faceplant the cheese.

    Me gusta.

  5. I’m fucking constipated and you give this, THIS OF ALL THE THINGS TO READ HAVE CULINARY LUST FOR!?!

    Dammit all to hell, well until I have this situation in my colon sorted out.

    (Wow…tmi)

  6. Vegan erasure! Hah.

    I became violently lactose intolerant about three years ago. I reached the “no longer craves cheese” stage of giving up dairy about a year in. But it’s often a tenuous thing.

    And when I read lists like this one, it’s a little like putting a big ol’ rock in front of a recovering crack addict SO THANKS FOR THAT.

    My mouth misses you terribly, cheese, but my stomach does not.

      • I’m not even a vegan and I like vegan cheese.

        Dairy substitutes taste a lot more like the foods they’re supposed to replace, to the point where I think I could give up dairy.

        Unfortunately, while I like the taste of meat substitutes, I also really like the taste of meat and they don’t taste anything alike! So, yeah.

        • I could see myself liking vegan cheese, but I would still miss fancy pants cheeses, which I don’t think there are substitutes for. I could live without chicken, but brie or blue castello or port-smoked cheddar? NOOOOOO.

          But yeah, I also like vegan dairy substitutes. I prefer soy to milk and damn I have eaten some good vegan icecream in my time.

          • There are some fancy pants vegan cheeses….they exist! They are just hella expensive so I’ve yet to buy them. The brand is called “dr cow.” Also there are some really good vegan cheeses in Europe that are fancier…I hear they will be available in the US soon (maybe they already are via online ordering?)! I had some when I was in Germany this year and it was fantastic!

            I’ve also seen blogs that show you how to make your own vegan “goat” cheese/etc and one day I will do this!

          • thank you! I don’t live in the States but I’ll be in Germany pretty soon so maybe I’ll look for them. Can you buy them in a supermarket? I’ll be in Berlin and Munich if it makes a difference 🙂

      • So far, in terms of vegan-cheese-that-melts-and-tastes-good, the best I’ve found is Daiya: http://www.daiyafoods.com/

        And vegan ice cream can be really, really good – thankfully. But there is no substitute for the fancy, amazing, artisan stuff that practically grows out of the ground here in Wisconsin, so that still makes me a little sad.

    • Hugs for the dairy free crowd. I hear Daiya is really good (there’s coconut oil in it, which I’m allergic to, so I can’t tell you).

      I can’t have much in the way of dairy–in fact, very little, so I generally don’t push my stomach anywhere past something like gluten-free baking that happens to have some butter in it.

      However, I have discovered that if I make (gluten free) mac and cheese, and use almond milk and margarine to reconstitute the sauce packet, I can handle about half the box at a time. So I generally eat a box a week.

      So for those of you that are kinda bad with dairy but can tolerate a bit, this might be an option. Sadly, not for you, millbot. 🙁

      mac and cheese is so good.

      • I’m sorry you can’t eat Daiya! It is my favorite vegan cheeze, the only one I’ve found that both tastes and melts as good/well as normal cheese. Last year my roommates and I threw a homemade pizza party and I put layer upon layer of cheeze and toppings on made-from-scratch crust… nom nommy nom nom

        ok pizza is my favorite.

  7. Poutine! while the cheese doesn’t necessarily have to be melted you dont eat it right unless the fries and gravy are hot enough to melt the cheese (and burn your tongue) on contact.

  8. The only Mac & Cheese we ever serve at my house involves a homemade bechamel sauce with a ton of cabot sharp cheddar melted into it!!!

    And for Grilled cheese, we just us the grocery store 12 grain variety (it has a great texture and crunch when it’s cooked!) and we shave slices of granny smith apple and white onion layer those in with some cheddar and nomz away!!!

    I’m a born and raised Green Mountain girl, so Cabot is the only cheese for me!!!

      • It is totally delicious!!!! you just take a sharp, thin bladed knife and literally shave the apple and onion (you might be able to do it with a mandolin if you have one, idk how thin those can actually go though) Damn it, now I’m drooling…

          • trust me, blood adds a nice tangy edge to grilled cheese!!! I’ve picked up a few scars while in the kitchen, the worst being the time I slashed my index finger open with a huge serrated cake knife and needed five stitches!!!

            to be safe, just cut the bottom off of what ever your working with so it’ll sit flat and evenly and make sure curl in the fingers on the hand not holding the knife, as long as you aren’t screwing around, you shouldn’t cause to much damage! :p

          • It’s soooo worth it to take the time to slice as thin as possible because thicker slices of apple or onion screw up the overall texture of the sandwich and their both strong flavors, so it can mess up that balance too. when you slice everything super thin it becomes one with the cheese and tastes heavenly!!!

          • aww Elissa, thank you for all of this! ok, I will resist the temptation to just hack at it and go for wafer thin slices. i might have to buy a knife though because right now i’m in a shitty student house without proper cutlery.

            especially thank you for the knife hand trick! that is really going, um, come in handy (sorry).

          • you pick up of few handy (hehe :p) tricks when you go to a culinary school for college, luckly most of my injuries were oven burns ’cause I was doing Baking & Pastry!

            I highly recommend investing in a couple Kuhn Rikon knives and a sharpening steel, they hold their edge great and they’re very reasonably priced!

            (Kuhn Rikon 5in Santoku, great for larger food like apples and onions)
            http://www.amazon.com/Kuhn-Rikon-Original-Santoku-Colori/dp/B004Q3QIG2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1324341898&sr=8-2

            (Kuhn Rikon Paring knife, great for everything else, I own two of them!)
            http://www.amazon.com/Kuhn-Rikon-4-Inch-Nonstick-Colori/dp/B00169WBV0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1324342159&sr=8-2

            (Oxo Goodgrips sharpening steel, not the kind I own, but it’s inexpensive and nice!)
            http://www.amazon.com/Good-Grips-Professional-Sharpening-Steel/dp/B000A13OFC/ref=sr_1_5?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1324342239&sr=1-5

          • whoah! culinary school, cool! do you work in the food industry now or are you just an epic baker?

            thank you so much for the recommendations! those prices are REALLY reasonable. i am leaving europe soon so there won’t be any internet purchases for me just now, but i really want some good knives when I get back to Australia because I love cooking. Bookmarked!

          • For some reason it won’t let my reply directly to your comment, but this is close enough.

            You’re very welcome! I’ve fallen in love with my knives and it’s only right to share they’re awesomeness with the world!!!

            Right now I’m unfortunately broke, unemployed (but searching), and living with my parents. At this point, college was the kick in the pants I needed, but it also was an expensive way for me to figure out what I’d like to do for a career. I went through the first year (but didn’t finish the internship portion) because I got overwhelmed by stress and life and I’ve been taking the last 6-8 months to get things sorted out. I’m trans and getting that part of my life on track has taken precedence because not dealing with it was one of the big reasons I got stalled in school. Right now I’m just applying around to any jobs I can find just so I have enough money to afford my therapist and start hormones and hair removal. Within the next year I’d like to find a job at a local bakery and just work there instead of going back to school. The sort of things that were being taught are the stuff you’d need for high end restaurants and resorts and I just not as passionate about that sort of thing. I prefer artisan breads, pastries, cakes,…etc (and you can learn plenty about those while on the job, so it’s hard to justify the expense of school)

      • a strong sharp cheddar is the only kind of cheese that I actually like when it’s unmelted, everything else too creamy/slimy for my taste (I have a bad gag reflex and soft/processed cheese set off like crazy!) The mainstay at my house is a 6-8 month Cabot Sharp that you can get at Costco’s, it’s a lot better priced than anything at the regular grocery store. a while back when I was in Montpelier, I stopped by the Co-op and picked up a 2 year aged Grafton Cheddar and it was divine!!!

  9. FACT: IN NZ GRILLED CHEESE IS CALLED A (CHEESE) TOASTED SANDWICH/TOASTIE.

    People always talked about grilled cheese on all the American shows and I didn’t know what it was. This one time I was home sick from school/watching infomercials and in order to demonstrate some kinda fry pan they put cheese right in there to show that it wouldn’t stick then had some kind of conversation about “grilled cheese”.

    RESULT: I thought you weird Americans just like cooked cheese in a fry pan and then put it in a sandwich for the longest time.

    Also: http://www.kiwibaking.com/mousetraps-recipe/
    (We called them cheesies. So good.)

        • I’m all about the cheese and creamed corn (or if we’re pushing it, cheese and spaghetti).

          However, Toasties have to be made in those special makers that press the edges together and make it into delicious melty concoction trapped in bread. You know, that awesome thing that always looks like it came from the eighties. Grilled cheese is able to be made without specialist appliances, and is more civilized.

          They both taste fantastic.

          • Yes, cheese and creamed corn is my favourite filling also! Although I’ve been into having cheese + spaghetti + salami lately (in fact that’s what I had for lunch today).

            I haven’t had a proper toastie with the edges pressed together in years though as I no longer have the appropriate appliance 🙁

      • I read the wikipedia and it just brought back bad memories of Persuasion/now I have the Muffin Man song in my head. But okay, sounds like a crumpet 😉 though cheese + crumpet is kind of blowing my mind.

        • I thought that a crumpet was spongier and doughier than an English muffin. English muffins are kinda like a squashed bread roll, but drier.. You can get them with fruit and spices etc in them too… When you toast them they go crunchier than normal toast and have a rougher texture. They require copious amounts of butter/cheese… and then they suddenly stop sounding horrible and become glorious

          • hm, so apparently this is the things you eat eggs benedict on, in which case i’m with you now – except i never eat them! so maybe i just fail as an english person.

            i think maybe the thing with fruits & spices you’re talking about is a hot cross bun? unless i’m just throwing extra confusion in to the mix here. these are only for easter, you guys.

            this reminds me of the time my (english living in america) sister explained to her son that the scones we were having with tea were like sweet versions of the biscuits their dad (from mississippi) made. inter-cultural baked good chat is confusing.

          • Yeah, the eggs benny things.. We have fruit/spicy ones too (maybe thats just us Aussies being weird) but they are different to hot cross buns. I may have just confused the whole issue for everyone by throwing that into the mix!

            Side note: Hot cross buns are pretty much my favourite thing about Easter. Oh how I wish they were readily available year round!

    • omg viv, yesterday I was standing idly in the kitchen in the morning, toasting an english muffin, and I thought to myself, “I wonder if the English have these, and if so what do they call them?” and then inwardly chastised myself for being an idiot. But it made me think of how Americans call back bacon “Canadian” bacon and how as a Canadian I never understood the term “Canadian bacon.” Is it similar? Can we bond over this?

  10. why are all you north american folks so enamoured with grilled cheese? it is the boringest cheese-related invention ever!

    though i am VERY fond of cheese, and agree with 9/10 items on the list (mozzarella sticks should really be in there somewhere), i cannot get down with grilled cheese, i’m sorry.

    • I think for many of us, it’s just a comfort food from when we were young and it just sticks with us. It’s a staple item on kids menus in basically every restaurant I’ve ever been to in my little corner of the world, and it’s always been a cheap and easy meal to throw together with some soup on a cold winter night when your too tired to do actual cooking.

    • ok, what if you spread quince (or fig) paste on thin slices of ciabatta, put brie on top, and then grill it? would that be the boringest cheese-related invention ever?

      p.s. I like grilled cheese and I’m not American 🙂

  11. Take sheet of store bought puff pasty, lay round of brie down, top w/ cranberry relish, wrap that brie up in a blanket of dough. Bake till it’s golden brown, slice, eat and forget all your worries in life.

  12. I too have a cheese melter! But it’s my toaster oven set to broil. In this I concoct my culinary delicacy known as a ‘bagel with cheese’. I prefer American but cheddar will do in a pinch. This is my breakfast and dinner. Throw in a black bean quesadilla for lunch and you have my whole week day diet. The weekend I venture out to ‘the bagel place’ and enjoy a bagel of varying flavors with cream cheese. It is like completely different yet comfortingly the same.

    In short, thank you for this appealing piece on the wonders of melted cheese (and their accompanying carbohydrate companion).

      • A good toaster oven is hard to replace. when I was in college and really coming into my own and perfecting my cheese melting technique I had the best toaster oven. Sadly one day the toaster oven caught fire and my house mates insisted I replace it. My bagels with cheese just never tasted right in the new toaster oven. Now I don’t have a microwave so I eat my quesadillas at work as the microwave is the ultimate cheese melter in that situation.

  13. You guys I recently went to a party that was devoted entirely to grilled cheese sandwiches, and everyone had to make a grilled cheese for the crowd and at the end there would be a vote and a winner and they all had clever names and people got really. serious. about it. Mine didn’t win. But it was so delicious.

    (it had thick-cut applewood bacon and sheep’s milk pecorino and I called it “baah baah bacon” and it didn’t win idk I’m still confused about it weeks later.)

  14. Is there something wrong with me if i thought at first this article was about 10 ways to eat cheese with/on your partner?

    Btw, riese i love how you write! you can talk about the most random thing and i would still enjoy it 😉

  15. I found gluten free sour dough bread a few days ago and my grilled cheese intake has increased substantially. Sorry Udi’s, you have no excuse anymore to make tiny slices of substandard bread that must be toasted.

  16. For six hours I was in France. I don’t speak French, I speak German, but I felt like I should go to France. But from about twelve to two, everything closed down and we couldn’t find anywhere to eat. Then, we found somewhere that was still open. However, I still don’t speak French. The only word I know in French is “frommage” (cheese), so I pointed to something that had cheese in it. I ended up with three big chunks of melty deep-fried cheese. It was wonderful.

  17. why must cheese hate my stomach?!?!?!

    lactose intolerance sucks…maybe someday I can choose to be able to eat cheese again? or is it like this whole awesome lesbian thing and not a choice?

    hmm…

    Quiero queso….

  18. AHHH I JUST GOT MY WISDOM TEETH OUT AND STILL CANNOT EAT SOLID FOOD! This post just increased my solid food lust by about 1000x. Somehow, soup and smoothies just do not live up to the epicness that is cheese melted on things. This, “When I’m too busy to think about food, I melt cheese on something, usually an english muffin”, describes my life.

  19. Me and the SUPER Jewish girl next to me were looking at the article, and she started to drool over the cheese-burger. Me: silly, it’s not kosher you can’t have it. Then we hit the caption and started cracking up!

  20. A bowl of hot buttered rice with a slice or two of pepperjack cheese stirred in it is one of my preferred comfort foods. Haven’t had it in ages since my family doesn’t like rice much, but I miss having heaping bowls of it after school whenever we had leftover white rice from takeout.

    I had an apple pie tart thing once that I added a slice of cheddar to that tasted heavenly, but then again I love sweet/savory things to the point of foolishness.

  21. Annie’s Mac and Cheese, for when an oven is too complicated but you want to take just a baby step above Kraft.

    also quesadilla protip: they’re the BEST if you use the raw tortillas and cook them yourself instead of just microwaving. i get them from costco ?

  22. I’m a cheese addict. I usually just eat the plain Dutch cheese, love it! Though I can appreciate a piece of brie once in a while. A grilled cheese sandwich is called a “tosti” in Dutch by the way. Makes sense, right?

    Anyway. I’m hungry now. Thanks to all your delicious cheese ideas.

  23. I can’t believe how no one has mentioned this but cheese in pie! A little bit of gruyère in the crust of apple or pear pie, or if you’re lazy melt some cheese over some apples in the microwave, it’s totally delicious!

  24. Cheese is the most perfect food alive. I’m depressed now-Israel doesn’t have mac&cheese and quesadillas which I ate 24/7 in the U.S. because they’re amazing. I can still have grilled cheese sandwchices though (:

  25. two of my favorite ways to eat melted cheese (which also happen to be two of the easiest dinners i make):

    1. stuff wedge of brie with as many peeled whole garlic cloves as you can fit into the sides. put in a pan and bake at 325 for 30 minutes, then use triscuits to eat it between drinks of red wine (i usually go for a cabernet but anything with decent body and tannins works).

    2. dice and saute some potatoes until they get golden brown, while also steaming some broccoli (i also tend to steam some chopped leeks or shredded cabbage along with it). when both potatoes and veggies are done put them on a baking sheet, mix it all up, sprinkle rosemary/salt/pepper over it all, and then top with generous amounts of shredded cheddar (or jack, whatever you want). put into the oven on broil until it’s melted to your satisfaction.

  26. I really like taking a mozzarella string cheese (you can use other kinds but mozzarella works best), putting it in a bowl, and microwaving it until it gets melty. Then I remove the bowl from the microwave, inevitably burn my fingers on the bowl, then eat the cheese with my hands. Sometimes I do this 4-5 times. It is foolproof because it is just melted cheese which we’ve already established is the greatest thing in the world so there is literally no way to fuck it up.

    PS: I’m in love with this post. And when my girlfriend made me a grilled cheese it was definitely a Serious Moment In Our Relationship. She was all upset because we were in Israel and she couldn’t find the “right” ingredients she uses in America, but like, I thought it was fucking fantastic. And here we are, over a year later…cheese, man. It brings people together.

  27. Entire round of brie or camembert; wrap it up in puff pastry, brush a bit of milk on top (if you can be arsed), pop it in the oven and then go forth with gherkins. Gracefully accept gout.

  28. There are multiple reasons why I (like every other reader, I’m sure) feel like we would be great friends. This, however, might just be the number one reason.

  29. I LOVE LOVE cheese, especially melted cheese, and love all the things mentioned in this post.

    But, I have to disagree with “As I mentioned here; it is a truth universally acknowledged that preparing a grilled cheese for your significant other is a Key Relationship Moment, with pancakes coming in at a close second.”

    I think that making your lover a cheesy comforting, but not too heavy breakfast is a key relationship moment. I used to love to make open-faced breakfast sandwhiches with bacon and cheese melted into the egg as it cooking be it the oven, or frying pan; Or, I would make spinach and cheddar omelettes, a bit healther, but still cheesy and sooo good.

  30. Hmmm… Speaking of fancy grilled cheeses, I once paid eight dollars for a grilled cheese. Granted, it was delicious, and totally organic, and I’m pretty sure there were about five different kinds of cheese and possibly bacon in it, but looking back, I realize that it is these kinds of decisions that explain why I have no money. Oh Farmer’s Markets, ow I love and loathe you.

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