Team Pick: Mary Lambert’s “She Keeps Me Warm” Video Is So Queer And So Cute

Vanessa’s Team Pick:

I’ve talked about my intense love for Mary Lambert and her beautiful single “She Keeps Me Warm” extensively, so I don’t think this video needs much of an introduction. It’s really beautiful. It’s really queer. It’s really cute. It’s really real. It features two queer women, one of whom is plus-size, and it gives us a super sweet snapshot of the butterflies-in-your-tummy-at-all-times beginning of a relationship. Also there are books! And a coffee shop! And cocktails! And handholding in the backseat of a cab oh my god I love that shit don’t you love that shit? Seriously.

Those of you who were disappointed that Lambert didn’t get much airtime or recognition at the VMAs last night might wanna watch this on repeat all day today to erase that unpleasant memory. Actually, all humans with ears and eyes and a heart that is prone to melting might wanna watch this on repeat all day every day. That’s what I’ll be doing!

And for those of you who can tear your eyes away from the adorable situation happening on your screen and want some context for how this video came to exist, here’s what Mary had to say about it:

“Two years ago, I [searched] YouTube for a main-stream music video that depicted a lesbian relationship. I was disappointed, shocked and a little hurt that I couldn’t find a single one. Sure, there were hot girls rolling around in lingerie, girls briefly holding hands, or something involving a man. Lesbians used as shock value. This video came to fruition with an all queer, female crew, who shared my vision. It was an incredible experience.

Everyone has had the butterflies of love: the giddiness, the quick heartbeats, the sweaty palms. It’s important to remember that love is universal… no matter what gender you’re attracted to.

Additionally, it’s important to acknowledge the fact that I, a plus-size femme, co-starred in the video. So often curvy women’s bodies are a novelty. They provide a comical relief to a romantic scene. Our bodies are not allowed to be sexy in media, and it’s part of the reason there’s an epidemic of poor body image in our society. I don’t think that’s okay. I think that’s screwed up. I’m sexy and romantic, and I deserve to feel that way. Every woman does.”

I think it’s impossible not to feel sexy and romantic after watching this video, and it just makes me love Mary Lambert that much more. I can’t wait to see what she does next!


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Vanessa is a queer feminist writer and photographer who is usually based in Portland, OR but is currently thru-hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Find her on twitter and instagram or at her personal blog, vanessapamela.com.

Vanessa has written 202 articles for us.

66 Comments

  1. 0

    Oh, this is the cutest video! I want to pass notes through a classic novel to a hot girl working in a coffee shop! Why isn’t this my life? Sigh.

  2. 0

    I’m not embarrassed to say that I cry watching this video. Growing up I never saw music videos displaying the type of puppy love that I’m interested in. It’s perfect. Mary Lambert is perfect. Gah! I’m such a romantic. Brb, watching this video over and over again #single

  3. 0

    *cries*

    I’m so single but I’m okay with it and this video and song makes me feel happy and hopeful about that special someone.

    Mary Lambert is everything for me right now. Everything.

  4. 0

    Aw shucks. So adorable! I’m having so many warm fuzzy feelings about this video. I’m so happy that it is now a thing that exists in the world! I wish I could have seen this when I was fourteen. It just might have cleared some things up for me because it’s SO CUTE.

  5. 0

    This video…it makes everything ok again. I watch this and I know I’ll be ok. Even I had tears in my eyes and if you knew me, you would know what a huge deal that is..maybe I am softening, I dunno. At any rate I adore this.

    Thank you, a million times thank you.

    • 0

      i think you should come on over to the ~dark side~ and be sappy emotional optimists with us.

      (i think you should also know that i’m cynical about 99% of the things in this world and my good friends tease me about the ooey gooey persona i have cultivated for myself here on autostraddle, but i explained that while most of the world does, indeed, suck, and is thus deserving of my cold hard cynicism, the majority of the queer world is so lovely and wonderful that it’s not even an act…i really do love everything i write about here in autoland. so maybe you can be a cynic AND an optimist, is what i’m saying.)

      • 0

        You are right; the (online) queer world is lovely!

        And I suppose there’s always another story about Bustle to keep my optimism/cynicism in balance!

  6. 0

    I love the video, but what gets me most is when we get to the chorus, all the music fades in the background and you here the lines “she keeps me warm.” Mary sounds so heartfelt, like its the sincerest of confessions, the most basic truth. Isn’t it awesome that this is all about queer love?

  7. 0

    Sidenote: I want to find more songs like this, written by women about women. Suggestions? Unfortunately, I just cannot get into super acoustic, stripped-down, artsy, techno-y, granola-y (read: stereotypical lesbian) music. I like sappy, poppy, guilty-pleasure sweet stuff, like this and also like the Brittana stuff from the good old days of Glee. Any suggestions of songs or artists??

    • 0

      Try The Blow! I believe the lead singer is bisexual, so some of her songs are about guys, but some are about girls too and they are awesome 🙂 Some of her songs are ambiguous too!

      “Come On Petunia”
      Bonjour Jeune Fille
      Parentheses
      The Sky Opened Wide Like the Tide
      Babay (Eat a Critter, Feel Its Wrath)
      The Moon Is There, I Am Here

      Some are poppy, some are slow, all are good 🙂

    • 0

      Also the Weepies, they’re a husband/wife duo but a lot of their songs could be about any relationship. ‘Slow Pony Home’ in particular feels like a me type of love song to me.

  8. 0

    Anyone who watches that and doesn’t get a wave of warm and fuzzy feelings isn’t a real person. Queer girls are just adorable

    • 0

      if someone sent this to me as a crush confession i would probably squeal and then text my best friend and then die of the cuteness. is that helpful does that answer your question.

        • 0

          i think you should both do it and then report back

          omg should i start a gameshow

          am i a matchmaker / crush cheerleader, is this my calling?

          this might be a life changing moment for me, hang on brb

        • 0

          A new A-Camp workshop? Run by matchmaker extraordinaire Vanessa!

          That video is adorable. Mary Lambert – what an amazing voice! Crazy talented and is incredibly beautiful to boot.

          Will be following her music with interest.

  9. 0

    So before i even knew this song existed my twinster would randomly sing the chorus to me (even text/leave vm’s) then giggle because I would get so annoyed. I thought she had made it up just to mess with me. When I finally heard it I was like “aweee how sweet, but I still hate her (in a loving way).”

  10. 0

    Can AS do a Picking-Up/Being-Picked-Up-By-Ladies-Mary-Lambert-Style how-to please? I will read all the manuals and attend all the panels.

  11. 0

    “I’m sexy and romantic, and I deserve to feel that way. Every woman does.”
    I just wanna say that I LOVE Mary Lambert’s confidence in this video

  12. 0

    I can’t really put into words how happy it makes me to see someone who is about my size depicted as the love interest in a music video (although it’s still a novelty to me no matter what medium it’s in) AND it’s a queer relationship. I didn’t know how much I wanted and needed to see that until this video. And it’s getting such mainstream exposure! I don’t know, I just feel good about it.

  13. 0

    Everyone who’s bothered she didn’t get to talk and everyone who’s irritated that everyone’s heaping cookies and ‘decent human being’ awards on macklemore, guys, we need to channel alllll of that into hits on this video and buys of her songs, especially this one.

  14. 0

    This Music video made me all warm and fuzzy inside… its adorable,fun and cute all at the same time…. mary and bryn were both very beautifully radiant. it gave me butterflies when it got to the cab scene and to the end it was beautifully done i am so glad that there is a music video out there now that shows lesbian love 😀

  15. 0

    I had the biggest smile on my face during the entire video. She’s very beautiful!

    Alas I did actually try this at a coffee shop a few days ago but had to give up because the girl in question was weirded out by my flirtatious behaviour. Oh well.

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