Anonymous Sex Toy Review: Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys. Today we’re mixing it up — we’re reviewing the Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System, available at Lovers.


One of my favorite things to do during sex is to tie people up. Silks, rope, bondage tape, leather handcuffs or even just using my words as restraints, instructing the object of my desire to put their hands against the wall and keep them there — there’s something intoxicating about being fully in control, about knowing that the person I’m with is at the mercy of my command.

My current headboard was purchased with this preference in mind. It’s perfectly suited for the ties and cuffs I love, but my partner’s bed doesn’t have a headboard at all. This leads to plenty of creativity, but when it comes to tying them to something that’s anchored in the space, my options are limited. Under-the-bed style restraints have always seemed like a great solution, but I’ll admit I was a bit skeptical about how well they would really work for us. Would they be sturdy enough? Would they be soft enough? (I’m not opposed to bruises and marks, but I like to be intentional about when, where and how I leave them). Would there be enough tension, or would my partner be able to wiggle around or even break free if they wanted to be a brat about it? The act of slowly, methodically tying someone up is an intimate one, and I like to use that time to establish control and build sexual tension. I was curious if anything would be lost with a restraint system that was designed for ease and convenience of use.

With that in mind, I pounced at the opportunity to review the Sportsheets Original Under The Bed Restraint System. The product reviews are positive nearly across the board, with users celebrating how simple they are to set up, how well they work with different mattresses and body types and how discreetly they tuck away when not in use, all of which sounded appealing to me. They’re also fairly inexpensive ($79 for the complete system at the time of publishing). I knew that even if my partner and I both ended up preferring our tried-and-true silk ties and leather cuffs, these restraints would still make for a few fun play sessions.

This restraint system is made up of four adjustable cuffs and four 60 inch adjustable restraint straps, as well as a 60 inch connector strap that links everything together. The polypropylene straps and cuffs are machine washable and nickel-free, and they include a limited lifetime warranty. All four cuffs are soft but sturdy, adjust to fit both wrists or ankles (any diameter between 4 to12 inches) and can also be separated from the system if you want to use your own restraints — a great feature if you already have a set of cuffs or ties that you prefer.

I was able to install these restraints myself on a memory foam mattress in just a few minutes (these reviews are anonymous, but for reference, I am not a particularly tall person). Before installing, I laid the whole thing out on the bed and did some rough adjustments on the straps to get them to a correct approximate length. Then I slid the connector strap underneath the mattress at the foot, keeping the cuff straps pulled out on the sides. Gradually shimmying the side straps up to the head of the bed only took a moment, and even with a heavy foam mattress, I was surprised at how easy it was to pull everything into place.

Moving the cuffs to the sides of the mattress keeps the person restrained fairly locked into position, while keeping the cuffs over the head and under the foot of the mattress allows for a bit more movement — but since every strap is adjustable, you can create tension where you need it, and loosen things up where you want there to be more slack. It’s not hard to adjust the lengths of the straps even after someone is already in the restraints, so getting the right fit is a snap. And if you only want to use a few of the cuffs at a time, you’ll still have plenty of tension as long as one person’s weight is on the mattress.An overhead view shows us a white bed with white sheets on a hardwood blood. Black fabric straps wrap around the top and bottom of the bed. Black cuffs are attached to the straps.Using the restraints was a delight. Because they attach with Velcro, it was easy to slip a finger between the cuff and my partner’s body while putting them on to ensure a safe and comfortable fit, and it still felt hot to deliberately take my time tying her down. My girl likes to have enough slack in wrist ties to be able to grasp the fastenings with her hands, and I was concerned that having the plastic adjuster so close to the cuffs might mean that the tension was reduced — but they stayed in place beautifully, keeping her right where I wanted her. No matter how much she begged, pleaded and yanked on the straps, she was securely held in place and entirely at my mercy.

The cuffs were soft enough against her skin to not leave any bruising or scratches — she told me that they felt pleasant and sturdy, and there were no sharp edges or rough corners to distract her from our scenes. And after half a dozen orgasms, it only took a few seconds to set her free and shift into new positions. By that point, it didn’t matter that neither of us find the sound of Velcro ripping particularly sexy — we just appreciated how effortless it was to get the cuffs off.

In addition to ease of use and comfort, I particularly like how discreet the Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System is — the straps are thick enough to be secure, but thin enough to tuck underneath the mattress or bed frame after fucking. And as someone with a too-small carabiner permanently and unintentionally stuck on my bedframe, it’s nice to have restraints that can be pulled out and put away without planning or effort.

If you’ve been interested in trying bondage play but are concerned about learning knots that you’ll need to be able to untie quickly or if you want a relatively inexpensive way to test out some new dynamics in your sex life, the Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System is a great entry point. As always, it’s essential that you have safe words and limits established, both understand the dynamics that you want to explore and have strong communication with your partner — but these restraints can help take out some of the more intimidating aspects of bondage, letting you focus on pleasure and power rather than worrying about bonds coming loose or getting too tight. The Velcro releases make it a quick and simple process to set your sub free when playtime is over or anytime someone needs a break, and the system comes with everything you need to get set up within just a few minutes.

There are technically cheaper ways to incorporate bondage into your sex life, but for a complete system that only needs to be set up once and offers a lot of flexibility, accessibility and simplicity, I wholeheartedly recommend these restraints.


We keep Autostraddle majority free-to-read, but it isn't free to create! We need YOU to sign up for A+ to help keep this indie queer media site funded. A+ membership starts at just $4/month or $30/year. If you can, will you join?

Join A+

Guest

Posts published as anonymous are not necessarily by the same author.

Guest has written 165 articles for us.

Contribute to the conversation...

Yay! You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by!