Are you a hilarious and ambitious queer with mad photoshop skills? Do you think you could one day figure out how to read my mind? Then maybe you wanna be my personal intern!

Baristas, haikus and monsters oh my!

Bi Day, #Gracehorse and gay Sims.

An A-Camp hangover, rum cake and Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual Single.

On boxed wine, sobriety and broccoli.

Grab a cocktail or local brew and let’s talk K-Stew, the Ellens, DeAnne Smith and other lezspectacular things that happened this week.

Adam Lambert’s “For Your Entertainment” and Lady Gaga’s “Fame Monster” debut today — do ya want Glambert’s entire album for $4, legally? Well, we’ll tell you how. Plus; everyone has feelings about the AMA performance including Lambert himself, lesbian music video moments, and Levi Johnston is “fat and boring.”

Ever been punched in a tit before? That crushing pain in your areola and the dense tissue of the breast? Brutal. I’ll take dental surgery over titty punches any day.

Every two years the butches of the world convene to absorb each other’s butch powers.

On this week’s televisionary, Carlytron accidentally takes some nice pills and is temporarily less snarky than normal. Journey with us as we delve into the gay Halloweens and implausible storylines of the Office, Parks and Recreation, Ugly Betty, Community, Gossip Girl, FlashForward, and Grey’s Anatomy.

This week on Bomb Girls, the sunshine is gone and nothing will ever be okay again.

This week on Bomb Girls, Gladys continues to take mystery-solving lessons from the Pretty Little Liars team, Kate and Betty plan a wedding in which they are not marrying each other, and Vera is a flawless queen who calls out bitches when she sees them.

This episode has everything: enough human tears to power the Canadian equivalent of the Hoover Dam, your (okay maybe second) fave lesbians shackin’ up, Marco once again taking first place in Son, You Gotta Stop With These Workplace Romances, and Vera saving the entire operation for the one zillionth billionth time.

“This slightly labelphobic queer went into The Femme Show full of unaddressed preconceived notions about the word, and left with a brand new appreciation for it.”

True Blood, Nurse Jackie, Weeds, Defying Gravity, America’s Best Dance Crew, Intervention, The 2009 Teen Choice Awards, So You Think You Can Dance, My Life on the D-List, Drop Dead Diva, Toddlers & Tiaras,