Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where four artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Our esteemed cartoon critters are Cameron Glavin, Anna Bongiovanni, Megan Prazenica and Yao Xiao. Today’s cartoon is by Cameron.
Whatever dating is, the only sure thing I know about it is…I´m not doing it.
TINDER TRUE LOVE!
So excited to talk about date stories with you in person!
Anna. I don’t even know where to start. Sometimes I think I’m getting good at people and then nope.
I met this really cool lady last night and we got a long really well. I felt a vibe (I think?) But I also think we could be good friends. So now I’m trying my damndest not to text her to hang out out. Have I mentioned I hate this part? I wonder if she reads AS. I forgot to ask. Oh, god.
See, I can’t even type correctly. So many typos. Oh for that edit button!
Can we please, please have an edit button?Yes, because I make mistakes. I AM ONLY HUMAN.No, I’m perfect the way I am! <Can we please, please have an edit button?Yes, because I make mistakes. I AM ONLY HUMAN.No, I’m perfect the way I am! pollcode.com free polls/div>pollcode.com free polls
Can we please, please have an edit button?
(note: this IS a joke)
JUST DO IT! TEXT HER TO HANG OUT! And then report back.
I did mention a thing that is happening tonight that she sounded interested in attending/joining so I WILL! I totally will. Pinky promise.
Yeahhh! Report back!
Update: She’s unable to make it tonight BUT definitely would like to hang out. So, yay. :)
I was “dating” a girl for 2 months once before we realised that’s what we were doing.
I am so grateful to every single person who has posted on this thread saying that they, too, do not know what dating is EVEN WHEN IT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING TO THEM.
Ah I love this comic. :) I feel the confusion. When I am interested in dating someone, I straight up (ha) ask if they would like to go on a date. I wasted too many hours wondering if hang outs were actually dates.
I usually get around to that about a month after it’s pretty obvious what’s going on. Just to make sure that the obvious is actually obvious.
Cameron, stick with me here.
My soon-to-be wife tells me that she always felt like everyone else in the world but her got the handbook to all things social. How to hang out and make small talk. How to flirt. How to date. In fact, to her, others seemed to move effortlessly through all these tedious social interactions while she watched confused, amazed and disgusted from the sidelines. I found this rather surprising because I (and the people we knew from grad school) found her completely charming and brilliant around the office talking about literary theories, current events, solving the world’s problems.
However. And this is important. From a psych class in college, I had knowledge of this system of codifying some of our most basic human behavioral traits developed by CG Jung and expanded by David Keirsey called typology. It’s also known as the Myers-Briggs types or MBTI. I had always been fascinated by this kind of thing when *scientifically backed information* was involved, so I knew when I encountered my fiancee for the first time that she is the rare temperament known as Rational. I think you may be as well.
And the reason that was important to me was that my own temperament–Idealist–couples best with a Rational. I encourage you to look into this field of knowledge as you attempt to decode the world of dating. Not only will it help you figure out what to look for in someone well-suited to you, it will help you to understand that there is no missing ‘dating gene’ in you. You are simply hard-wired differently than most. I know this will sound ‘air-fairy’ to you, but just google ‘Keirsey Temperament Rational.’ Best to you.
Perhaps it’s important to note, too, that typology doesn’t suggest that every Rational would be a perfect mate to every Idealist.
Oh cool! Weirdly, I think my Myers-Briggs type is idealistic? I don’t remember what I read. All I know is that I’m an INFP and that maybe I should think about that more.
Unfortunately, Myers-Briggs types are not actually scientifically backed, they just have a lot of jargon and social traction. Sorry! If you find it interesting then you find it interesting, but the stronger scientific claims are widely debunked.
Story of my life.
“we got dinner at a pie/breakfast place, and went to a dead bar, she wants me to go to a concert with her next week, a stranger called us cute and we didn’t deny it, i don’t know what’s happening! are we dating or did we just become best friends!?”
–Amanda Ling, The Inept Dater
I dunno. But I forgot to mention friend dates which aren’t romantical dates until they suddenly, sometimes are.
This is awesome and I wish you luck, Cameron, whether it’s “dating” or something else entirely. Call it what you want :)
I’m going to call it obfuscdating. Which is exact what all dating is ever.
Oh my god. This is me to a T. I don’t know what dating is or how to do it or anything.
Like, I actually don’t know how people express interest in another human being as not-friendship. Which is a problem of the level of “I do not know how do express my interest in another person without fully committing and asking them on a date” as well as “I have no idea if this other person is expressing interest in me or not”. And like, I have close to no problems with just using my words and very bluntly asking people out (because I really don’t care about rejection), but most of these people are at least friendly acquaintances and I don’t want to make shit weird because I’m always 100% down with friendship. To top this off, the “is this person even queer” conga is one that I am entirely baffled by.
I had a moment today with a person who I only realised was flirting with me after I left. I knew something was different, but my instinct was to pretend everything was normal. My flirting instinct was to pretend nothing was different.
Never take flirting advise from me (when sober).
geddaouta my head, cameron!
These no neck drawings are adorable as heck!
And the little scribble oval hands, and the detailed heads with stick arms, and basically the entire comic is super cute.
Also, the last panel accurately describes ~85% of what me and my friends are feeling at any given time.
Ahhh yes i didn’t even register the stick arms! SO GLORIOUS!
This comic isn’t as cute or glorious as you guys tho
I signed up for OKCupid and a girl has been contacting me. I’m definitely attracted to her. What do I do? I’ve never tried to date a girl since my transition.
You try and If they suck, it’s OKC so it’s nbd and you never have to see them again. If it goes well, you win all the things.
Go for it, Karen!!! Good luck :-)
Go have a beverage and see if you hit it off! FWIW, I was the first person to message my wife on okc after they started estrogen and now we’re married… so it can definitely work out is what I’m saying
i feel this
A girl I’m “talking to” just asked me what I feel about our future after LESS THAN TWO MONTHS and like, we’re NOT EVEN DATING (I don’t think?) and I told her “I don’t know” which in hindsight seems like a not great answer. I’m just so confused. (And also don’t wanna share my bed??? Three cats and one human is too crowded already)
AND ON THAT NOTE, WHAT DOES “TALKING TO” MEAN?
I like that lot’s of people are confused! Newly single pretty much after back to back relationships, I’m 50, do I have to do all that dating stuff now? Is it the same whatever your age!
Job Opening: Friend/Associate (advancement to S.O. which is like CEO of my heart or something negotiable after <>)
Term: Dependent on mutual experience. Short and long term positions available.
Requirements: Not a terrible person. Will not judge me for eating all the food all the time and binge-watching Netflix. Likes animals. Autostraddle readership a plus.
Interview process: Open ended. Multiple face-to-face interviews will take place before friend/associate status is solidified.
Benefits include listening to me talk extensively about Orphan Black and how I saw a dog earlier and it was cute. (It was totally cute)
Where do I send my resume to?
Yeah I… never understood it either. The only thing I understand is that I don’t like it and I don’t want to do it.
I think I actually make a pretty good girlfriend, but nobody will ever know because dating is not a thing I can figure out.
Glad to know others agree
I feel this a lot
I can’t find it now, but a while back AS had an article, maybe a You Need Help, that talked about being intentional when dating. It talked about how nice it would be to be asked out, to know it was a date, to not wonder if. The article said that instead of wishing for a date like that, we should make it for the person we want to be our boo. Be the person you want to date. I wish I could find it. Anyway, this is how I learned that rejection isn’t a big deal. It’s also how I met my wife. I highly suggest it.
Do you mean this?
I loved it too!
I had not read that article and I just read that article and I feel better about my life already. Still hella confused, but happy confused.
Can we just talk about how confusing this wordplay is? The last person I dated always corrected my terminology, and said we were “seeing each other,” but that we weren’t dating yet. Um, what is the difference? We are going out on dates, and spending the night with each other, and you’re introducing me to your entire friend population with pride. Just because someone said “dating,” doesn’t mean you’re exclusive, or that it’s even headed that way. Being an adult is hard. I miss when you could give a girl your cookie at lunchtime, and that meant the was yours forever.
Shout it from rooftops, dude.