Real L Word Episode 207 Recap: Play With Fire and Microwave Your Desire

Vivian’s making dinner and Claire’s making emotional progress (kinda) — reminiscing about the old days, when Claire had a job and she’d come home to Vivian naked making dinner. As you’ll see when Vivian reveals her naked ass in mere minutes, Claire’s decision to leave that life for LA was completely deranged.

cheers to moving back to new york after filming is over

Claire’s amped about her Website Page Magazine Photo Lifestyle Shoot for which Vivian’s gonna be the stylist ’cause she’s got mad style.

I keep imagining the photo shoot will look like this:

Or maybe like this:

I feel sad and sorry for Claire here, somehow — the experience of nobody showing up to your event, whether it be Twat: The Night or the Photoshoot Party, is uniquely devastating, and Claire’s got feelings underneath that tough denim-clad exterior, ’cause all humans have feelings.

Vivian and Claire deftly manhandle chopsticks, put food in their mouths and talk about themselves. Vivian reminds Claire that even when Claire’s a Giant Asshole, Vivian doesn’t “put up a big stink.”

Vivian & Claire eschew the seemingly obligatory West Hollywood Post-Dinner Activity, which is “going to The Abbey and yelling at somebody,” in favor of gymnastics. WHO WANTS TO FLY THE AIRPLANE?!!!

this is how i broke my wrist, i'm totally being serious

Note that Claire’s pulling off white pants and that it’s only the first night of Hannukah. Vivian hops off into the rosebushes while Claire changes out of her Dinner Shirt into her Sexy Shirt…

it all looks the same on the floor

… and out comes Vivian in her Slutty Little Bo Peep ensemble from Halloween ’04.

dirty boudoir


Over to Doggie Disneyland where Romi & Kelsey have come to have a fight on a blanket where the lighting is better than in the apartment. Kelsey wants to drink, Romi wants to think, there’s a turtle in the sink and I liked the roller rink.

fuck, we reaealllly don't have anything in common anymore

Romi’s wearing Kid-n-Play’s old gym bag as a smock and her hair has scaled new dimensions of Incredible, much like the bird Woodstock from that beloved comic series starring Charlie Brown (founder of the emo movement) and Peppermint Patty (Romi’s first lesbian experience).

really you're handing this one to me

Kelsey: “You know what I miss? Bloody Marys in the sun.”
Romi: “Why don’t we just make Bloody Marys with no vodka?”

‘Cause that’s just V-8 with an olive?

Kelsey:I’m not the one with a problem, Romi is, and I definitely don’t need to drink all the time but on occassion if I wanna have a drink with my sister or whoever, I would like to do that and not feel pressure that I can’t.”

I love the “with my sister or whatever” detail. “It’s a family thing, this drinking, okay? It’s because of my family and it’s because of God. God loves Boones Farm.” Romi and her hair are unimpressed:

I could've been a sex pistol

Romi warns Kelsey that drinking is playing with fire, but I think Romi also knows that Kelsey has to figure that out for herself, and maybe Kelsey knows that too, now. Romi’s basically grown up five years in five weeks and Kelsey’s kinda sitting in the corner with her toys, wondering when her playmate got so busy and important and grown-up.


Cori & Kacy are doing arts and crafts and talking about sperm. They’re making posters for their friends’ Roller Derby match, and judging by the materials they’re using I’m hoping the team mascot is a second-grade girl. (Also does this mean a Roller Derby scene is in our future!?!!)

lesbians love arts & crafts

In some interview somewhere Cori says the word “my acupuncturist” and somewhere else in some other dimension Cori says “Virginia” and somewhere else altogether she says “swears I’m pregnant,” and by the magic of editing, those two lines are placed back to back and this is what it says:

Cori: “My acupuncturist Virginia swears I’m pregnant because my boobs are swollen and sore and it’s too soon for PMS.”

How will we know for sure that they’re bigger though? Maybe Kacy should check it out.

this is serious cori did you know 3 out of 4 women are wearing the wrong size bra

Second base is the new black this week — we’ve got Sajdah grabbing at Chanel’s tits in the laundropedia, Claire sneaking under Vivian’s shirt and chanting “little boobies” while Vivian chops vegetables, and Kacy inspecting Cori’s cup size during an Arts and Crafts Session.

Cori: “At work all I do is just think — Did I feel something?”
Kacy: “My nostril flared do you think I’m pregnant? Is that a pregnant thing? Can you google that? It’s been a little bit like that in our home. My eyebrow twitched. Does that mean I’m pregnant? Do pregnant women’s eyebrows twitch?
Cori: “She’s kinda right.”

Maybe Cori’s just retaining a lot of water.


Back at Sajdah’s Sexyspot, Chanel wants to talk about feelings. You can’t talk about finance reform all day after all.

i think i have something in my eye

Chanel wants to be heard and wants her boundaries respected. Sajdah wants to make out before football practice.

Sajdah: “You’re talking about me like I’m a dog, like I need to get my nuts cut off.”
Chanel: “You’re acting like one.”

Eventually Chanel wrangles one little promise out of Sajdah:

Chanel interviews that conversations need to involve two people who share their feelings, listen to one another and ideally come to some kind of conclusion regarding how to improve things in the future.

Sajdah says, “Maybe if you let me bang you out at home I wouldn’t be trying to bang you out in public all the time.”


Back at Whitney World, Rachel’s dishing on her Vidal Sassoon interview. Rachel wants that job so bad she’d give a blow job for it! Really, she said that.  Rachel’s character can be summed up like so: crying, blow jobs, whitney.

i would even masturbate on camera to get that job

Rachel does seem, however, intensely vulnerable and recalls that scene in Magnolia where the child star says something like, “I’ve got so much love to give, I just don’t know where to put it.”  I hope she gets this job and buys a new boom for Showtime ’cause this whole scene sounds like they’ve got a mic hanging from the ceiling fan.

Rachel: “I gave up my life to pursue a dream in Los Angeles you know I had an amazing life in New York with people I really love and care about so if I don’t get [the job], I’ll probably be crushed. But everything happens for a reason I guess.”

dreams are so much better than life anyhow

It’s been a nightmare, in fact: her ex-girlfriend keeps sleeping with other clones which leaves Ray-Ray bedless on her vaycay to San Francisco and lonely in her own house, she’s sliced her hand open, overdosed on klonopin, gotten fingerfucked in the bathroom, masturbated on camera and cried at least 16 times.

Someone throw this girl a bone.

Rachel: “I won’t know until Friday which is like getting tested for Herpes or something, like WHY WON’T YOU TELL ME NOW!?”


Whitney & Romi are in the Whitney Wagon, going out for a romantic platonic dinner to talk shit about Claire talking shit about them.

and then I was like, "it's just manic panic, it'll wash out"

Whitney: “You better believe that next time I see her I’m gonna share my feelings with her.”
Romi: “I think that would be really good.”
Ilene Chaiken: “I agree.”

(I agree too).

Dinner topics include Romi’s new life as an enlightened sobriety goddess who’s basically six feet or less away from being the next Tiffany’s and how that life doesn’t jive with Kelsey’s. “I’m not on a cleanse, this is a lifestyle change,” says Ro-Ro. As you can see by referencing the hair chart I first introduced in the introduction to this post, Romi’s lifestyle is becoming increasingly vertical:

Whitney’s proud of Romi for her sobriety and thank G-d because maybe Romi wouldn’t talk about her Sobriety Achievements so often if someone else would talk about them for her. Romi is doing a very hard thing and she’s doing it well and deserves a lot more recognition/congratulations than she’s getting right now.

Then we get back to talking shit about Claire:

Whitney: “Why did Claire talk shit about us… she’s blacklisting herself.”


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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3153 articles for us.


  1. So before this popped up in my Google Reader I was scanning my eyeballs over something titled “Is There Still a Chance for Meaningful Compromise on Debt Reduction?”

    Shortly after switching over here I came to the conclusion that “That’s what she said” should be in wider usage on the Internets, today and every day.

  2. Let me try to follow this. Whitney feels her being the center of attention is being threatened by Claire. Seems Claire has a knack of attracting extremely beautiful women. Whitney talks about Claire behind her back to that appalling individual who later decides to pick a fight with Claire, a person she has never met before. Claire tells Francine what occurred which seems to make Francine happy. Claire gets mad at Francine for being elated she was insulted by a loser. Claire later complains to Francine on a personal text that Whitney was behind it which is well obvious. Francine, obviously still in love with Claire, listens to the chef who wants her and throws Claire’s clothes out. Note to chef – when your new gf cannot stop talking about and crying over her ex it is a sign that – well you mean little to her except as a rebound so she doesn’t feel so bad about herself. Francine, still mad, decides to sabotage Claire when it comes to work. Whitney, who may be the most repugnant self-absorbed reality show star since Puck, decides to play the I can talk behind your back but you can’t behind mine game. This includes a high school type confrontation when Whitney, again as detestable a person as you will see on a reality show, shows how pathetic she is. Maybe Whitney should tell Francine “You shouldn’t share a text your ex sent to you and only you.” and offer Francine solace. But hey this is Whitney’s world.

    As for Channel, I hope your next gf acts more mature than a 12 year old. Really felt bad for her having to put up with that stuff.

  3. Why do I watch this? The more I watch the more I don’t want to know these people. I went to middle school already. Once was enough for me. Why is IFC trying to sensationalize drama? The more she does it the more absurd and idiotic everybody looks. So, am I an idiot for watching this?

  4. i love how everyone’s first response to “Sara has a dog face” was a laugh. Even Claire couldn’t keep a straight face when she realized how funny it was that she said it. I think Franny really kept repeating it because it was hilar.

    To me, Claire = Kanye West @ The VMAs….she only said what everybody was thinking and in turn, is the bad guy for doing so. Whatever… Ima Deb for Claire. #TeamClaireDontCare

    The real question of this recap is: Riese – did you really break your wrist “air-planning”?

  5. First off, Maniac Magee was an awesome book for me. I still have my copy somewhere *drifts off* good book…

    Sajdah. Yeah, she had to be confusing “you’re not listening” with “you’re not agreeing with me.” First girlfriends, it’s nuts. Kinda feel bad for Chanel, Saj was being a brat, but then again, I was bratty at times with my first gf. Guess it’s just growing. Marissa – “this is crazy!!!”

    • When I read the witty, sarcastic re cap of the show, I pretend that that’s actually what goes down. Then it makes the characters seem witty, intelligent and modest which, in turn, makes me feel intelligent for watching the show and THEN I CAN’T FEEL GUILTY!

      Also, Vivian is HOT.

  6. My #1 feeling after this episode was that Claire needs to learn the meaning of the word “literally.”

  7. well, from a logistical/producer’s P.O.V. … the best way to ensure Claire returns to Season 3 is to make her indispensable to the main drama… so, make her Whitney’s Worst Enemy (& major plot point) & she’ll come back a bigger & badder character next year.

  8. i like how there was no mention anywhere in this episode of the “dong mold” fiasco.

  9. Riese, I just want you to know that last night as I watched this episode I drafted and then abandoned an email to you with a screencap of Claire and Francine’s text message fight, in which Claire actually called them all “hatters” and I mean, yeah.

  10. also, did anybody else find it weird that claire told vivian that she looked like “a little girl” and “loved it.”

  11. Ok, blood-clotted vampire mini-babies amused and horrified me at the same time. It’s true but awful.

  12. i lol’d so hard at the Regina George getting hit by a bus screencap.

    that actually made my night.

  13. Makes me wonder about Rose vs Claire in a face-off. I’d bet on Rose ’cause she has cat claws coming out of her mouth.

  14. Wow Sajdah was really really mean/inconsiderate and didn’t make much sense there.
    I hope Chanel finds a good girlfriend next!

  15. Im sad for the day when Real L Word season two comes to a close…. I’m really gonna miss these recaps!

  16. Saj…Saj…what the hell?!? There is no such thing as fun everyday in a relationship. There is always gonna be the one day that is…not that damn fun. Just like anything in life. Maybe at the ripe old age of 28, I’ve become a realist but…fun…every…day?

  17. It totally felt like I shouldn’t have been watching Cori and Kacy’s storyline. It felt waaaay too personal to be watched I don’t know.
    And Vivian is hot. Like how does Claire get all of these hot Asians hot. What that doesn’t make sense? I watch The Real L Word for entertainment it’s not supposed to make sense.

  18. Yeah, I felt bad for Chanel in this episode. The laundry mat scene was awkward and the fight just sucked to watch. I think Sadjah is relatively harmless, I would jock up alot of her behavior to just immaturity.

    Respecting Women 101: If a woman sets a boundary, you should respect the boundary. Chanel saying “No” and then Sadjah grabbing her anyway is really bad in general.

    Whenever Vivian or Chanel are on the screen, the main thing running through my head is “She’s so pretty! Eff, she’s so pretty!”.

  19. This show has now reached a point of stupid and offensive that has my brain dry heaving. I didn’t think I could vomit with any organ other than my stomach but hey! the human anatomy is a biological marvel.

  20. 2 Mean Girls references! Four for you Riese Coco!

    Otherwise you all look fake and crazy, BYE!

    • Ah yes, you have to remember the “bye”. The “bye” is the best part.

      “I look good, you all look fake and crazy” is good.


      “I look good, you all look fake and crazy. Bye.” The “bye” just puts it over the top into awsomeness.

  21. Every week when I see these recaps I realize that Claire reminds me of someone but I can’t remember who, and then five minutes later I forget about until the next recap.

    I’m continuously amazed at Romi’s hair.

  22. I don’t watch this show, but I thought the Maniac Magee cover was funny. I so remember that book from when I was a kid! I always thought the boy on the cover looked like the young Pete from Pete & Pete.

  23. Monsterpiece Theater reference totally wins. Also, laundromat/Yelp review joke practically made me drool popsicle down my shirt.

  24. Re: Claire moving to Nebraska. As a native Nebraskan, I think I’d rather she didn’t. Althooouugh I have to admit I haven’t actually seen this show, so who knows? Maybe we’d be friends*.

    *Probably not.

  25. Riese, I feel guilty watching this show because a.) it’s trash, b.) I once swore never to watch the oeuvre of IFC again and c.) I read your article on how shitty they were to you. But I’m sucked in.

    But…BUT. I love your recaps and without the show I never would have found your fabulous site. So, I wanted to send you a silver lining. Your hours of screen capping baby drama and near date rapes in the laundromat are not in vain.

    Also, Vivian is too good to be real. I think she’s a bodhisattva.

  26. Sadjah really just made a complete ass out of herself. If my girlfriend were talking to me like that, I’d be gone. FUCK! I can’t believe Chanel put up with her shit for so long. I’m glad you compared S to Rose because that is exactly what I thought of as I watched this! Rose being verbally abusive to Natalie last season after behaving badly, and basically not having/not trying to have any communication/comprehension skills.

    This whole Claire fiasco… yes she’s a complete brat and occasional asshole, but she basically said what we’re all thinking, right? It’s pretty clear she’s annoying and says dumb things but she’s really not as mean as she’s being made out to be. (Also. WTF. How is she getting these hot girls (cough) VIVIAN (cough)????)

    I don’t know about Francine. She was the only person I liked from the beginning but sharing private conversations she had with Claire with others was not very cool of her. She could have put it another way and not been so gossipy, but whatevs.

    … and Whitney. This girl. LOL. The way she’s stringing Rachel along is just cruel. (Though of course Rachel is getting more and more embarrassing to watch. Like I can’t even.) I don’t for one second believe that Whitney & Rose did not talk shit about Claire before their drunken friend randomly insulted Claire the other night. I mean that was basically where it all began. Had this incident not happened, Claire wouldn’t have said/texted/emailed things to Francine about the other girls (which was dumb of her, but mostly true.)

    Kelsey looks like she’s on something all the time, sober or not. Out of it. But of course, she and Chanel are the only attractive people on the show.


    • maybe. maybe Kelsey’s stoned? often hah idk
      and I agree on Sadjah, the way she talked to Chanel was so not cool

      • I really was agog that Chanel hung around and tried to calmly reason with her after that. Chanel gets a lot of crap online about just hanging around Sajdah for the cameras but I think she really cared about her.

  27. I was tempted skewer my inner eardrums out just listening to Sajdah fight with Chanel. Made me remember the irrationality of the first time baby dykes can some times exhibit.

    • It reminds me of a late 80s Hair Metal band member. Maybe like a bass player or drummer.

  28. Omg Maniac McGee! I remember reading that in grade school. I lol’d so hard when I saw that. Another awesome recap, Riese!

  29. I was totally tuning out reading this recap. And then you pulled out a Woodstock reference.

    Who references Woodstock? Fucking brilliant.

  30. I’m happy Romi’s hair was finally addressed. It’s been freaking me out. I might have already had a few nightmares about it and it’s just getting worse and worse.

    • It wasn’t until the Romi’s Hair Evolution picture that I realized that the little thingie in the back is her actual hair! This entire time I’ve been thinking she clips it in. Freaks me out too.

  31. When I saw the cap of Claire making all those faces, I had one thought: rampaging dino!

  32. So. I used to watch this show all the time. Then, i realized that the recaps made me less nauseated. Then this recap made me watch the episode.

    Also, moment of zen: When I was in high school, a kid in a neighboring town was scuffling with a friend after school, and his friend LITERALLY threw him into the street, and then a bus ran over him. HE WAS LITERALLY THROWN UNDER A BUS, CLAIRE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

    And then, my chem teacher was like “in your lab report, when you discuss errors, DO NOT THROW YOUR LAB GROUP UNDER THE BUS” like three days after it happened.


  33. This episode made me cringe, because between Claire and Francine, and Sajdah and Chanel, I don’t know who made me more uncomfortable and annoyed. I totally agree that Claire is a frikking mega-brat, to the point where I’d shake her if I had to be around her. But Francine sharing private texts? I don’t know them and thus don’t know if maybe Francine and Whitney know each other (or did each other, since, it’s Whitney) from way back when, but if they don’t? Then who the hell are you to run around and be all “ooo Claire was talking smack about you!” I half-expected her to tell Whitney that Claire said to meet her at the jungle gym so they can settle this once and for all. Not cool, and very childish.

    As for Chanel and Saj, well, we have a saying in the Caribbean for what Saj was trying to be here and that’s “wrong and strong.” Which, clearly, you can’t be. I think I was more embarrassed for Sajdah and sympathetic for Chanel because sometimes I’m also quiet in a new social environment. Someone needs to tell Sajdah that this isn’t a Katy Perry song and not everyone’s a firework. She should have just let Chanel get there on her own instead of being her usual hyperactive-like-a-Yorkie self. Sometimes you gotta dial it back a notch.

    And I’m with everyone else…more of Vivian, because damn.

  34. Another episode that made me sad. Oh my god. I just wish that IC would quit and give up this misery and let some other female come along with another lesbian show. This is ridiculous. All of the cast members were miscast in my opinion. They all look very sad to me. That’s it.

  35. i think other recappers are using your screen grabs. the one with the romi hair evolution in particular.

  36. that scene in the laundromat with Sajdah should have come with a trigger warning. seriously, how are more people not a little more incensed about that. if I saw that shit i’d want to intervene somehow.
    but also, are chanel and saj. the only ones that get the hip-hop music? i thought i was just imagining that shit.

    i’d like more kelsey, less romi.

    Maybe if Autostraddle pimped out that L-perfume Ilene would stop trying to kill you guys. Riese, maybe you should bathe in that shit.

    • Did Rose get her own music? I think the angry minorities get their own music… I am embarrassed to even watch Sajdah. The way she treats and talkes to Chanel, ridiculous. The laundromat seen made me want to vomit, I mean there is a big difference between pervin’ with your girlfriend and being flat out disrespectful.

      Marissa? this is crazy

  37. You know how when you go to hawaii they give you a lei as you step off the plane (or at least they do in the Brady Bunch movie)? I’m convinced that they do this at lax, only with hats. There is no other excuse for the sheer number of hats in this effing show.

    • LOL. If I could “like” this comment I would. I thought the same thing when I saw Vivian with that fugly hat, especially since we never saw her in the whole leather jacket/side boob shirt/hat style when she was in NYC.

  38. So, I did not watch this episode. To be honest I watched the first episode cause our photoshoot was I guess in it, I dunno, and then the second episode, I fast-forwarded to the parts where Franny was it, and since then I’ve just been reading these recaps cause they are the best part of my week. Hilarious Riese. Obvs this show and these women are set up as easy targets, but you do a really nice job of being funny without being a jerk, which I’m thinking is really hard to do. Cause c’mon people…. this is so dumb.

    WHAT’S WITH THE HATS??? This is not NY in January… its LA. Does it ever even drop below 50 there? WTF.

  39. I don’t care how much yall complain about Cori and Kacy’s “boring” situation, they are the only ones who are going through serious for-real drama and I feel for them. I do wish we could know more about, you know, their lives.

    MOST IMPORTANTLY, Riese, can I come over and watch the show WITH you? I feel like it would be much, much more entertaining. I will bring nachos and beer and candy.

  40. Ugh, so many feelings.

    1) Sajdah is fucking crazy-scary – totally on the warpath to being an abusive partner.

    2) I wish that everything Claire said “literally” would actually happen. So, Claire being thrown under a bus upon meeting new people via Fran. Fran spontaneously moving into an adorable donkey in the middle of the night club. etc.

    3) I think Kacey should win Best Butch on the Block of the Year.

  41. Glad to not have seen or heard any dong references in this episode.

    Vivian is a goddess…..sultry, smart, and sweet.

    Romi’s hair is getting out of control. It was hard to take her seriously while she was out to dinner with Whitney…..I couldn’t concentrate on what she was saying as I was fixated on her hair.

  42. I have to say there is a large distinction between saying to someone that this other new person who has just rocked up from out of town and keeps acting in a negative way may be a bit of a “deb” (which a drunken overzealous friend will then repeat umteen times as they have been drinking and have slanted logic in that moment and over-state things) and someone saying more cutting things like you have no job and just like to party all the time (like you are effectively just a frivelous individual) but then wants to use you and your popularity for their own favour. Also the criticism from a lot of people saying Whitney is stringing Rachel along seems a little harsh… Yes they got messy and intimate at that pool party- for sure Whitney should maybe have put up a kind of self-barrier so she wouldn’t go there so as to spare the feelings Rachel clearly has for her… but we all do silly things when tangled up in issues of the heart and when it comes to people we have been intimate with already. I think Whitney seems to be trying to take a step back so as to not blur the lines in her relationship with Rachel (as in making it seem their once-off intimacy was not more than just a hook-up) so that Rachel doesn’t become more attatched, but she does still have her back by asking Allysa to look out for her. Its difficult because how accessible can you be to a person you know still cares about you without you maybe encouraging some hope their end that they may get to be with you. I have been in a similar situation so can understand that even though it looks like Whitney here was in “Whitneyland” and detatched maybe she is just trying to not get too close so as to try avoid Rachel getting more involved with her. Grrrrrrrr! Complications of affection and love! I’m just saying people maybe shouldn’t be so harsh and shouldn’t assume that Whitney’s main motivation is to “play em and leave em”… maybe I’m naive! Don’t know.

  43. ooooooooh forgot to add I am also glad somebody commented that they thought Cory and Kacy’s storyline was interesting and moving and they had empathy for them. Totally agree. And yes as all the consensus this far has indeed pointed out, Vivian is indeed one beautiful woman.

  44. the best part about all of this…Maniac MacGee reference. only my favorite book of all time. love it.

  45. Every time I see this show, I just want to put the TV on mute and make up my own dialogue to go along with it, like I do for the Spanish soap operas.

    I guarantee you it would be exponentially more interesting.

  46. Every time Sadjah has come on screen I cringe, but this episode took the cake. I get it that you may not have experience dating girls but who acts that way with anyone? The laundromat humping was so so bad…and then when she didn’t stop when Chanel asked – ugh! She is so clueless about people it’s just sad and embarrassing to watch.

    Now, Claire…when that girl called her a “deb” a few episodes ago, at first I thought she was making fun of her for being a rich, spoiled “debutante” type! But ragging on her for being a negative nightmare is on point too.

    Does Claire not see how stupid she sounds saying that the other girls on the show don’t have jobs? What job does she have exactly? Her website?! That’s hilarious (oh that episode with the meeting about her site was cringe-worthy – I can’t write, I know nothing about web design, blah blah, what? I won’t be anyone’s secretary, no way!). It’s sad to me that Vivian let’s her get away with her hideous behavior, and calls it “bratty” like Claire is 5 years old. Claire is a narcissistic jerk that much is clear and her tirades about all the “haters” are just more evidence of that. I have wanted to punch in the tv screen with her. I mean, she’s attractive and all but the moment she opens her mouth it’s completely lost…WTF does Vivian see in her?

  47. sajdah’s was completely violating chanel’s personal space and body, and her excuse for doing so was because they are in a relationship. whether you are in a relationship with someone or not, consent is always paramount. if a person tells you that they do not want to be touched, then BASIC RESPECT and COMMON DECENCY would tell you that not to touch them. being new to lesbianism is no excuse for her disrepectful and domineering behavior.

    vivian is one of the most gorgeous people i’ve ever seen. she’s bewitching in every sense of the word. damn, how did CLAIRE of all people swing that? and manage to keep someone like vivian interested in her after she moved to l.a. to famehore on t.v. and potentially mess around with francine? it’s shocking. you can do better vivian.

    i’m glad romi is getting her life back on track. i wish her luck. i do wish kelsey would get her shit together too. it is not even cute that she was recently fired from two jobs and she ALWAYS seems high as a kite. i’m not sure if she’s an alcholic or if romi is pressuring her to feel that way because it’s better for her sobriety not to be in a relationship with someone who drinks. either way kelsey should be coming to a conclusion about her drinking by herself and not be manipulated into not drinking over the potential loss of her relationship. maybe the solution to this problem is that romi should just break up with her and find someone on her level, career wise and sobriety wise.

  48. As usual the recaps are so very funny and I can’t wait to read them. But as someone who has been in Cori and Kacy’s shoes, I cannot laugh at their predicament. Its seriously tough to be a lesbian and trying to have a baby. It a test for any relationship and there are so many mind trips that occur when one doesn’t get pregnant right away. And unfortunately it can take YEARS – UGH ! So glad its over and we have our kids. The process was tough and watching it on screen I felt so much empathy. . .

  49. They are behaving like early primary school girls for G-d’s sake!

    Francine: ‘Hey girls, Francine said mean things about you all and doesn’t want to be your friend anymore!’

    Khristine: mhmm…

    Romi: No way, she’s a freak, i don’t like her anymore, I’m telling my mom she’s not coming to Whitney’s birthday party now

    Francine: yeah, and, and she said that SARA looks like a dog, that’s so bitchy!

    Romi: She said that!? im telling Whitney and everyone what she said, no one should hang out with her during break time ever again, and how can she say my daddy doesn’t work, daddy DOES work and at least I have a dad, how else does she think I get my pocket money to give to Kelsey

    Kelsey: Ew, she’s so not cool.

    *in another place*

    Whitney: Romi just texted me that i shouldn’t invite Claire to my birthday party coz she said horrible things about me

    Rose: The cunt

    Whitney: who does she think she is. she’s going to regret messing with me at school, i’ll make her life hell there, she can’t be popular if she’s being bitchy to me

    Rose: Word

  50. Claire should be my least favorite after these recaps but because of them I LOVE HER. This shit is hilarious. Also, what IS whitney’s job? Seriously.

    Franny, too funny. TOO FUNNY.

    It makes me laugh reading the arguments btw. Sajdah and Chanel; saw them at the SF Dyke March and Sajdah was all like, “Thank you thank you, love my fans, thanks for the support” and Chanel was like, “Go baby, bask in your non-fame!” and it was cute and hilarious and fucking ridiculous all at the same time. So apparently, they worked that shit out.

    And Chanel’s weave has drastically improved. Four points for you Chanel.

    Otherwise, I still can’t bring myself to watch this show. I’d like to get to know these people without having my brain tainted by their exaggerated for-tv characters/caricatures.

  51. Riese outstanding job on the recap I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard after reading something. I also like AE but their recap doesn’t compare. As for the show, the only main reason why I watch it is to see Kacy and Corie’s storyline, they seem real sweet and I think people feel for them and what they’re going through in each episode. Like Whitney said they’re the unicorn couple that a lot people want to be like. Also, Romi is kinda growing on me. I thought she was kinda crazy and a little too attached to Whitney in the first season but it’s good to see her growing up on camera, I hope that she keeps it up.

  52. Wow Vivian is supremely beautiful. She’s smart, she’s caring, and she seems to have a very good head on those shoulders. I’m here if you ever decide to leave Claire!

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