Real L Word 204 Recap: The Other L Word (I Think It’s “Limoncello”)

Claire’s friend Barb is in town, which’s awesome ’cause Claire’s got nobody left to talk to in Los Angeles besides these guys:

Claire tells Barb about her interview and her idea about getting talented people together to do a thing in a “sick way.”

this is just like in 1st grade when she had an idea for a tree fort

Like she’d be a fool not to do a photoshoot with The Real L Word girls in white t-shirts, she has a vision, but she doesn’t know if they’ll do it — but it would be really dumb of them to NOT do it —

Barb: “You have to like, spend some time with them.”

Excellent point.

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Cori and Kacy are going to a “knocking it back before getting knocked up” party, talking about sperm. Specifically, the sperm that’s about to crawl up into Cori’s stomachspace and edge out any potential room for tequila.

Kacy’s being sweet and caring and patient about how Cori likes to party and will probably never party again and then shit gets totally bizarre when Cori reveals that when she gets drunk, she has “alternate personalities.”+

1. Alter One: Cookie.

+

2. Alter Two: Coco.

Are you thinking what Ken Seely is thinking?

Meet Coco:

These girls cannot handle their alcohol. That’s the takeaway here.  (Neither can I or any of my friends, which’s reason #46 why I’m glad we’re not on the teevee.)

Absolutely nobody should ever drink anything ever. If you do you will die, ask Whitney to slap you three times, or develop multiple personalities.

coincidentally this is also my swallowing-sperm face

Kacy: “She gets that look in her eye, that like eye of the tiger — it was a little scary, I’m not gonna lie.”

Around this time my girlfriend said, “I feel insane watching this,” and maybe I did, too. It’s clear Kacy cares about Cori, Cookie, AND Coco, and that, you know, future Lesbian Moms can party too.

always a great idea

Shit eventually gets too crazy to handle and Kacy shuffles a hilariously talky Cori out of the club. “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” Cori yells out the back window as Kacy whisks her away from the pre-baby ball.

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Sajdah and Chanel, at one of LA’s many fine outdoor eateries suitable for film crews, are gonna talk it out. ‘Cause they miss/love each other, etc.

so next time i tell you to do something, you do it. especially if that thing is "disrobe"

Chanel: “I think the pressure we sort of put on each other with having so much in common made us expect to know each other right away. So the little things… it was irritating us more than it should have.”

This rings surprisingly true and haven’t we all been there when you meet someone you decide is perfect for you and the first time they do something you wouldn’t do you freak out?  You’re mad at them doubly: for whatever it is you’re actually mad about and also for not being who you thought they were, which is to say — they’re not you.

this was around the same time i wanted to drop the l word, too

Maybe saying “I love you” so quickly was too much pressure not to explode immediately afterwards. You absolutely cannot know somebody in a week, or even two weeks. I think you need a full year of holidays, seasons, tragedies, Real L Word premieres, computer crashes and celebrations, to really know a person. And even then, they could turn out to be a serial killer, I saw it on A&E.

Or, you know, it’s because of astrology:

yes, that's exactly it

In other news:

Sajdah: “I’m ready to fuck.”

WORD.

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Back to the Sister Wives House:

everyone's favorite subtitle

The only thing more fascinating than Whitney talking about Sara or to Sara is Whitney talking on the phone to Sara while one of her other ladies drinks in the kitchen.

Rachel: “I don’t remember kissing Whitney last night… we just had fun. To me, it’s all about fun. I still give great haircuts.”

what do you even know about great haircuts, whitney? look at your brain-case.

Whitney won’t let Rachel use Whitney’s car because it says “do not operate heavy machinery” on the side of that pill bottle Rachel just downed. “Something’s off with her,” Whitney observes.

such a jewish grandma, this one

What follows is sort of awkward and upsetting and starts with Rachel crying in the bathroom and Whitney going in to remind her about bleeding all over Bianca’s hair.

Well Rachel does not need one ounce of this shit, she did not take all that Xanax just to get stressed out. What time is it? It’s time for STRAIGHT TALK with Rachel, held in the backyard.

Let’s discuss.

Rachel: “Whitney can’t say SHIT. Because downfalls come in many different um — ways and — at this point, nothing Whitney says to me I can take it with a grain of salt because you’re still fucking with someone who is a lying uhh– manipulator. So your judgment is marred.”

Downfalls come in many different ways — some of us masturbate to straight porn on camera, some of us mix pharmaceuticals with alcohol. Some of us do both of those things.

Whitney goes to pick up Sara from work, chatting to the cameraperson, when she spots Erica on the street walking away from Sara’s salon. It’s like an episode of Cheaters, which I read about in a ‘zine once.

LIFE IS A HIGHWAY AND I'M GONNA RIDE IT ALLLL NIGHT LONG DODOOOD DODOA

Sara gets into the car and starts talking nonsense about who’s more feminine, her or her co-worker. Whitney confronts Sara about Erica, Sara says she didn’t see Erica and Erica doesn’t even know where she works, so she must have just been in the neighborhood.

Whitney: “You mean to tell me of ALL the places in Los Angeles that she JUST SO HAPPENED to be heading out the back door area of where you work at the exact time you’re getting off of work?”

Whitney “gets it.” It = Sara’s lying. OFF SHE GOES.

erica borrowed my pants. sorry.

Whitney’s basic philosophy is: “You do you.”

Take that home with you children and think about that.
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In conclusion — what is “The Other L Word”? DUH!

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Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2885 articles for us.

134 Comments

  1. Man, Sajdah’s “relationship” with Chanel is really…unsettling. Declaring love after two weeks is not what’s hot on the streets yo.

    And why is Whitney fronting about being “done” with Sara? She know she’s gonna be all up under her tomorrow.

    • I feel the EXACT same way. It seems as if no matter WHICH couple it is (with the exception of Cori and Kaci or Kori and Caci or Kory and Kacy or whatever) it’s just embarrassing to watch. I do watch this show because somewhere in my mind I feel like I need to watch shows about lesbians to boost ratings to create demand for more lesbians shows even if they suck. I had to pause this last episode about a million times because it was so awkward I had to drink. This also led to me needing to watch the episode again the next afternoon.

      Okay, I’m done.

  2. Great recap!

    For some reason, I also left this episode feeling like Whitney isn’t actually a bad person. I kinda like her, even though she’s a player and also makes poor love choices.

    BUT WHO DOESN’T?

    Also, you were right on when discussing the awkward feeling associated with watching Rachel spiral out of control. They need Ken stat! Or Jeff Van Vonderon saying “We’re gonna say what we’re gonna say, and you’re gonna say what you’re gonna say, and then we’re done.” I miss that guy.

  3. Everytime I watch I want to pause certian scenes that could have been actual storylines and play it like a video game
    where you have to find all the “easter eggs” that can trigger new levels (ie. backstories, family relationships, where IFC locked Francine up.)

  4. “Downfalls come in many different ways — some of us masturbate to straight porn on camera, some of us mix pharmaceuticals with alcohol. Some of us do both of those things.”

    I hope she was completely wasted while masturbating on camera. If npt, it’s really sad.

    • not gonna lie, that one screencap-title-thing that said “and this why rachel takes klonopin” made me think riese was weirdly outing your prescription drug habits. then i remembered show rachel and it made more sense

  5. Riese – Please, always use Marissa’s “This Is Crazy” screencap when recapping the show, because it’s all I can think when I watch this show. & in return, I’ll increase my AS donation to $20/month because every day I’m finding yet another reason to laugh SLASH love y’all!

      • I’m guessing she just doesn’t do anything crazy, like, talking nonsense to future potential employers (Jamie Babbit, seriously !!!) or have sex on camera or get awfully drunk or mixing drugs and alcohol or all of the above…
        She has to be pretty normal, and balanced – and what do you do with that, eh ? Not good IFC teevee, that’s for sure !

  6. This episode was slightly better than the previous three. I actually think I am starting to like Whitney. Claire however is unbearable and WHERE IS FRANCINE? She is the cutest girl on the show and she did not appear once this week wtf.

  7. Love the recaps, especially the screencap captions.

    “I’d just like to note that a 2-year-old got a lower third and Robin Roemer didn’t”

    …and also pretty much every caption about a Claire scene.

  8. I should really stop watching the episodes and just read the recaps. Claire’s scene at Power Up was painful. Just painful. Call me cautious, but if I was going to move across the country and start up a new business/project/thing I’d have a plan and maybe a few skills. Or find people with skills.

    Amazing recap, as always. I kept scaring my roommate by busting into laughter every 30 seconds.

    • That’s because she moved to be with her ex-girlfriend, that’s why. Or no, wait: that’s because she moved to be on that TV show. Sounds more accurate.
      But yeah, it was utterly painful. And the scene with her friend at the bar made me slightly hate her, I think.

    • I do believe there is a way to recover gracefully from not knowing things you probably should know (e.g. that there ARE lesbian sites and you will need to explain how yours will be different/original).

      Claire, on the other hand, did an excellent job of showing all of us exactly how to completely fuck that up.

  9. Reise! How do you come up with these things? This recap was effin hilarious.

    Also, I can’t look at Sara the same way anymore. I watched an episode with my sister and she refers to “Sara” as “Sodomy” because they sound similar. So “Sara and Whitney” are now “Sodomy and Dreads.”

  10. Marissa = Truth. She needs to come back and give everyone on this show a reality check. Seriously.

    Also, is Claire loaded/has a sugar mama or a legit job on the side? Because I’m confused as to how she’s affording this cross country move/new apt/ etc?

  11. Claire?! Fuck. Secretaries are fucking badasses, have hot Maggie Gyllenhaal movies named after them, and up north, many of them in the public sector are unionized. Don’t hate on the workers, man. UNION THUG LIFE.

    p.s. who wouldn’t die to work under Jamie Babbitt! (“work under”)

    God, I fucking hate this show.

    • I don’t like how Claire is all “Oh yah lesbian websitemagazinething forreals uh-huh definitely!” like if she says it enough times it will magically appear…and seems to have no plan to like, put some people together and get shit started.
      Also JAMIE BABBITT BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER COME ONNNNNN.

      In conclusion I really respect Riese and everyone for making Autostraddle happen in real life instead of running around with their hands in the air saying no to fabulously famous queer media people of importance.

    • MY THOUGHTS TOO.

      I was like W-T-F! I’ve been a secretary (now office manager) since I was 16 and I would LOVE to work for someone like Jamie Babbit/POWER UP! Even if the pay was crap the experience would be soooo worth it (I assume). Doing mundane paperwork/computer work and multitasking is 100% better when you work around cool people (especially lesbians, I assume I wouldn’t know, but omg I’m pretty sure it would be awesome (totally suddenly jealous of Krista’s [effin’ dykes] job right now]).

      ANYWAY – Obvs, they’re like “Hi, you MAAAY possibly have some potential, but you don’t know anything. Here’s an awesome chance to learn things that will help you maybe one day realize your dream.”

      “Oh, no thanks. I’m like, totally smarter than all you guys. I wanna be CEO of all internets lesbian websites that don’t exist yet, I’m offended.”

      Srsly, rude, and disrespectful. I can never tell what’s real and what’s not in this show, but that seemed like it might have actually happened as it was so ludicrous.

      Oh I guess she has her “I’m on the real l word” career (lol).

      Attn: Claire – Google “Lesbian USENET” and discover lesbian Zines / newsgroups / digital information via computers with an internet connection have been around since the early 80’s.

  12. i go to the dentist with more preparation than claire goes to meet jamie babbit the maker of the best lesbian movie ever! WTF girl. claire on her aninitial.com site confesses it’s her fav movie too. which makes it an extra WTF in lack of preparation.

    once i called an “administrative assistant” a “secretary” by accident and let me tell you she almost slapped me.

    can i ask a question? perhaps dumb. what is IFC’s vendetta against autostraddle? is it we call her IFC? or is it simply because autostraddle can’t weld power through money to compete on her level? does she shun afterellen affiliates as well?

  13. I think Rachel may just been having PMS during that day, hence, the emotional hullabaloooooooo…

    I have nothign to say about Korcy, just let them stop saying “sperm” pls, sick of hearing that damn word!!

    Vivianne Wu – hooo wooo hooo!! i want more of her coz she’s hot!!

    starting to not like claire’s talkative, egotistical character on the show… she’s just becoming less likable..

    I think sajdah’s just caught up with the “born on the same day” thing that maybe she feels like they’re soulmates.. Dropping the L word after two weeks – that i can take, but saying it with matching tears falling, i mean, THATS JUST TOO MUCH! I havent watched the show (will do later) and i’d probably cringed when that scenes comes up…

    Whitney! I am jsut tired of your Lovelife!! lets skip to that part where you work or do art therapy w/ kids! she said she’s doing it, riight?

  14. what baffles me is why Francine, a cast member did NOT appear in any one scene in this episode, but yet Rachel, one of Whitney’s 10,000 ex-girlfriend/hookups is in almost every other scene? I guess masturbating on camera buys you more lines and screen time.

    which is too bad because Francine is one of the only sane characters on the show. (see: every fight she has with Claire & her ability to completely expose her for who she really is.)

    • I get what you’re sayin’ and I don’t necessarily disagree with the point you’re trying to make. And not to be all semantic-y with you, but kind of just to be all semantic-y with you: Some people do see the doctor and do need meds to feel “good” or “normal” or SANE(this is not me yelling at you, it’s me yelling with you).

      • This is not what I meant :) I have several mental diseases that require medication. I’m good with meds (I’m even good with recreational substance use).

        What I’m saying if that if you need to get sh*tfaced *everyday* to make it to the next (whether it be with alcohol or something else), you have an addiction. There’s no shame in that. But that hypothetical person really needs to seek treatment/medical attention for it :/

        • Well re-reading it’s still not clear (damn you non-fluency!). I think there’s a huge difference between

          1/ medicinal drug use (a-okay) which makes you feel sane/normal/good because you have a condition that impaired that in the first place,
          2/ recreational substance use (a-okay as well in my book) and
          3/ substance abuse (when you suppress your emotions/ability to think because they’re too unbearable).

          The latter is problematic on a plethora of levels, the most serious of which being addiction, organ damage, and inefficiency. If you feel that bad, you need to resort to the first option (medical attention with possible medication)

  15. I really like Jenna Elfman.
    .
    Bless you Angela Chase. The heart is treacherous. Wait. I think I read that in the bible. People who hate the bible please disregard.
    .
    How many does it take to flamenco? Foxtrot? Fandango? Maybe she thought it was the freddie?

  16. OMG I’m so glad you pointed out the total absence of Francine on this show !!! Seriously, it’s getting ridiculous !!!

    Oh, and Claire’s new apartment ? Totally the one we see in the opening credits. Where she’s making out with Vivian. Guess we all know how this ends eh ! Although they did change Viv’s lower third again to “Claire’s ex girlfriend”. Didn’t seem that radical to me last week !

    Yay Scarlett ! I’d missed her ! She’s so pretty and sensible !

    Overall it did felt like this week’s episode was better than the other ones, probably (OMG I never thought I would say that) because of the LACK of sex ! We got realistic-ish stories and it felt like we got to know the characters a bit more… So that was good.

  17. the ritual:
    me and woman watch the real L word
    then read the recap
    laugh our healthy sized asses off

    questions:

    1) Does anyone else wonder why the hell Claire is one the show?
    2) Does anyone else wonder why it was Claire and not hot Francine or Viviene cast for the show?
    3) Why don’t these lesbians ever talk about anything other than themselves and their relationships?
    4) Am I the only one that thinks Whitney is more tolerable when she’s near a puppy?

    AND Romi is my LEAST favorite one of them and, since my brain hates me, I am constantly singing this Beanie Man song called “Romie.”

    “Ohhh nananana nana nananana It’s all about Romie and her big fat sister Naomi the two of them claim that dey know me, now dey arguin'”

  18. It was watching this episode last night on TIVO that I finally made the decision….

    Fuck dis shiiiit.
    I CAN’T do it anymore.

    buuuuut I still want to see where the hilarity goes.

    Thanks for taking one for the team autostraddle. Thanks to you, I canceled my season pass so I may remain classily in da loop. And these recaps are damn hilar.

    • Aaaw no, it was part of my comment at first but it didn’t fit anywhere so I deleted it… But yeah, they’re super duper cute. I especially like Cori, despite the drunkity drunk drunkness that seems to be a pattern amongst that highly dysfunctional group of girls.

      • Yeah the drunkity stuff was a bit ridiculous this time around, but she doesnt seem to be out there all the time. right?

        look at me, defending a reality tv couple. im ashamed of my life. but really, i just think that they’re the silver lining to this cloud of drunk whiney lesbians. you can tell watching that they actually, really do love each other.

  19. of all the domain names to buy…really?!? and the new one it redirects to makes even less sense – An Initial?? maybe i just dont get it. but it does look like vivian is collaborating with claire on it, so i wouldnt be shocked if theyre still together.

    this show is so incredibly painful to watch sometimes, and even worse when francine isnt there to call bullshit. crossing my fingers we get to see lots of her next week.

  20. I know we’re supposed to be positive and empowering, but Claire is an idiot. She thinks she can leave her girlfriend to go “work things out” with an old girlfriend, and expect both of them to put up with it and not drop her selfish ass, talks utter nonsense constantly, and TURNED DOWN AN INTERNSHIP WITH JAMIE BABBITT. R U SRS CLAIRE.
    ALSO, YOU ARE NOT MAKING THE FIRST LESBIAN ENTERTAINMENT SITE. JEEZ LOUIS.

  21. was i the only person freaked out by how control-y and crazy sajdah was being after the party?
    whoa. because if any of my partners ever talked to me like that (“the party’s over when i SAY it’s over!”), i sure as hell wouldn’t be getting into the car with them, or hanging out on patios the next day while they tried to make it all-my-fault.
    this episode i went from feeling quite warm and fuzzy towards sajdah and her first-relationship crazies, to really disliking her a lot.

    • I completely agree. I would not continue to date a person who ever thought it was okay to soberly talk to me that way, not to mention trying to justify it. I also can’t imagine ever talking to a woman that way and justifying it. R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me.

    • No, you are not the only person! I really disliked Sajdah in this episode because not only was she rude and pushy and controlling and manipulative, SHE WAS NOT REALIZING THIS AND JUSTIFYING HER ASSHOLERY. ew.

      After this
      Sajdah: “Get in my car, we’re about to go. The party that I threw is now over. Anyone I invited must leave now.”
      Chanel: “I am talking to my brother! Don’t be like that.”
      Sajdah: “I’m about to leave.”
      Chanel: “Okay we can go, but don’t come at me like that –”
      Sajdah: “Because I had a little gentle conversation and it’s like ten minutes later. It’s ten minutes later!”
      Chanel: “Baby – relax–”
      Sajdah: “If I rented a place and I say it’s time to go, it’s time to go. There’s no conversation.”

      And this
      “… if we have one more issue like this, we’re done, we’re done, there’s no point.”

      Chanel should have been like, “Yes! Fuck you! We are done!! Good bye.”

    • Her behavior was an alert to me. From a mediating standpoint I felt like she really let the pressures get to her. She was upset with Natasha, but afraid of Natasha’s bold violence and misdirected her frustration on Chanel.
      I immediately thought about how, so far as we know, this is the first time Chanel witnesses this kind of behavior, and they are already girlfriends. It really pressed the matter that they just didn’t know each other very well.
      How does one explain away a 180 like that? Of screaming “Shut the fuck up Chanel!” to a girl you just expressed love for, with tears?
      I think it shows that Sajdah feels her emotions very strongly. Its actually a very insightful and vulnerable thing to show, which may be why she claims feelings of regret it the weeks afterward.

  22. When Kelcey was talking about walking around west Hollywood to find a job, all I could think about was that song:
    But I would walk 500 miles
    And I would walk 500 more
    Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
    To fall down at your door

    I especially like the part when they say:
    If I get drunk yes I know I’m gonna be
    I’m gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you

    If they ever do a mix tape for each other…

  23. Okay…first thing first, I LOVE AUTOSTRADDLE!!!! I love these recaps soo much. Hilarious. The Cori chart was just beautiful. Lol.

    So, Sajdah and Chanel…way too fast and kinda crazy. I admit, I moved fast in my first relationship. I think we all did at least once, you know you get crazy excited and etc. Nonetheless, what Marissa said…this is CRAZY. Yeah, i’m interested in how that’s gonna turn out.

    I’m soo damn sick of hearing about Whitney. Focusing on Whitney. Let’s leave Whitney and her mess alone. It’s repetitive and kinda boring.

    Claire…lol. She’s not, I dont…lol.

    But yeah, that’s mainly it. Great recap as always. Cant wait for the next crazy episode.

  24. This season almost makes me miss the season one cast/characters, who seemed fairly emotionally stable by comparison. Oh, how I long for the dull conversations of Jill and Nikki, or the sight of Tracy hauling around a screaming three-year-old.

    I wish they’d show more Francine. She seems so… rational. And self-confident. Alas, this is The REAL L Word, and everyone knows REAL lesbians are full of drama and booze. IFC has slowly crushed my heart beneath the sole of her designer Birkenstocks.

    Thank you, Riese, for making such delightful and thorough recaps. You not only provide lots of laughs, but also save me a great deal of agony watching the show! LOVE!

  25. Just want to say that these recaps are the best part of watching the show. IFC may have money and power, but you’ve got the respect. Congrats on the continually hilarious reality tv reality check.

  26. I hate it that Claire’s website will probably get more viewers because of this show. I checked it (oh no) and there is really nothing on it.

    Was I the only one who thought Whitney was quite attractive when she took care of Rachel? I do believe she has this positive, cute, responsible, handsome, smart and caring side we never see.

    And I really felt uncomfortable with Sajdah’s reaction too. Really awful. Also: we absolutely don’t know who Chanel is. The only think I know from her is that she laughs a lot. And gives hugs. Etc. And said “I love the paper” when Sajdah gave her the notebook. Deepening your characters would help, IFC.

  27. Did anybody else find it strange that Claire, a member of the Real L Word cast (which doesn’t really give lesbians a good image in the media) wanted to work for Power Up, which seeks to create a positive image of lesbians in the media?

    OH THE IRONY.

  28. Sajdah’s “relationship” and that whole situation at the party is the total stereotype of DC. As much as I would like to hope that it was all staged, I’ve seen it so many times. Jumping into relationships and saying you love someone to quickly, and her reaction to the whole thing was too much. Her attitude towards Chanel was unnecessary.
    And Claire……I would do ANYTHING to have an internship at Power Up! and have Jamie Babbit be my teacher. Seriously if she doesn’t want it, I’ll take it. I need one to graduate anyway.

  29. So… Is Francine suppose to be a regular cast member? Because I think she’s had a total of 10 minutes of screen time. 8 of which were her fighting with Claire.

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