Quiz: What Lesbian Household Item Are You?

Here at Autostraddle, we know that lesbian and queer stereotypes sometimes have some truth behind them — such as that time we found queer people were more likely than straights to be haunted by ghosts. It’s data that just makes sense. [Speaking of data, if you want to take our 2022 Reader Survey, NOW is the time! It closes promptly at 6AM PST on Monday the 19th! Now that I’ve convinced you to tell us a little more about yourself, I’m going to tell you a little more about you, and just what kind of inanimate object typically found in a lesbian and/or bisexual and/or queer household you might just actually BE on a spiritual level.

When you were 7 years old, your favorite subject in school was:(Required)
How would you best describe your humor?(Required)
When you're feeling down, you most frequently tell yourself:(Required)
Choose a stock photo of a queer couple that has no rainbows in it but which may involve them holding glasses of milk and staring into each others' eyes, as you do.(Required)
Pick a struggle meal:(Required)
Your current top home-based fear is:(Required)
Pick a Halloween Doggo:(Required)
Pick a fruit:(Required)
Your favorite friend date to go on is:(Required)
Pick a Queer TV Show(Required)

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Nico Hall is Autostraddle's A+ and Fundraising Director, and has been fundraising and working in the arts and nonprofit sector for over a decade. They write nonfiction and personal essays and are currently at work on a queer fiction novel and podcasts. They live in Pittsburgh. Nico is also haunted. You can find them on Twitter and Instagram as @nknhall.

Nico has written 221 articles for us.


  1. I got A Dying Houseplant which is fascinating because I was recently looking into getting a houseplant and was strongly inclined to get a Cast Iron Plant because they are allegedly unkillable.

    Is this an omen? Am I the harbinger of (plant) death?

  2. the queer couple stock photos killed me!!!! the milk!!!!

    i got kombucha, tyvm, will drink a Revive rootbeer kombucha (the only tolerable kombucha, absolutely delicious, highly recommend if you were a rootbeer kid) to celebrate!

  3. as a gay with ADHD, I feel very represented by my result (supplies for at least three hobbies that you started and then forgot about). *stares guiltily into their box full of knitting yarn from two years ago*
    also, I accidentally left my stove on for the entire week-end until a friend pointed it out and maybe saved my life yesterday (yay responsible lesbian friends!) so my worst fear has already come true (on the upside, it kept my kitchen nice and warm, which looking at the crisis we’re going to face, maybe my subconscious was trying to help)

  4. I expected sweater, but completely understand being in the surprise kombucha club. Sometimes I make very Extra artisanal fermented foods in my fridge on purpose, sometimes I make very fermented food in the back of my fridge by accident.

  5. I got Kombucha brewing, which some day in the future I hope I can brew homemade kombucha with my friends or girlfriend…it would be so nice…just kinda gives me good vibes thinking about it… seem’s like home…

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