Playlist: So You Read Vanessa’s Essay

By now I’m sure you’ve read Vanessa’s gut-wrenching goodbye essay (or selectively not-read so you can pretend she’s staying forever). In her most on-brand moment ever, Vanessa made us all cry barrels and barrels of tears, so now we all have to listen to Sad Lesbian Music so we get as close to inhabiting her brain as possible. To help you out, here is some music to listen to as you weep softly into your tea. It includes the most overwrought songs I could think of from an actual going-away mix CD I made Vanessa earlier and also some hit songs from my go-to breakup mixes that fit tonally if not thematically. Anyway. Here are some songs that make crying feel normal.


So You Read Vanessa’s Essay


Great Big Plans – Jenny Owen Youngs
But I Do – Now, Now
How to Be Alone (Sideways Sessions Version) – Allison Weiss
Whisper – A Fine Frenzy
Free – Ingrid Michaelson
Divided (Live) – Tegan & Sara
Overseas Now – Mal Blum
I Know You Will – Ranchael Cantu
The Story – Brandi Carlile
Comfort Me – Feist
My Heart Is Split – Vienna Teng & Kait Kerrigan
They Can’t Take That Away From Me – Ella Fitzgerald
Still Hurting (Instrumental) – Jason Robert Brown
July 25, 2007 – Allison Weiss
Montezuma – Fleet Foxes
All My Little Words – The Magnetic Fields
As I Am – Paper Bird
Waterfalls/She Keeps Me Warm – Marni Kellison & The A-Camp Family Band
Go Slow – Haim
I Miss You – Beyoncé

So You Read Vanessa's Essay from Autostraddle on 8tracks Radio.

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Intern Grace

Grace Ellis has been writing and making hack-job graphics for Autostraddle since 2011 and is a co-creator and co-writer of the comic book series Lumberjanes. She is mostly an intern in name only. (Mostly.) She lives in Columbus, Ohio because why anything. Also, she wants to write the Black Widow movie and feels like if she just keeps telling people, eventually she will be allowed to do it. She has a Twitter and a Tumblr, both of which are pretty above average.

Grace has written 89 articles for us.


  1. there’s nothing wrong with rocking slowly, head tucked against your knees, glass of wine in hand on a monday night. totally normal and ok.

    • Or curling up and burying your face in the scruff of your dogs neck, letting the fur dry your tears…right?

  2. Between this virtual see-you-later and navigating LDRs I’d say that crying and wine is appropriate. Also, a closing scene just played out in my head Jenny Owen Youngs style. Thanks Grace

  3. Jesus Christ, what are you trying to do to me?? I think I’ll have to open the Christmas rum now…

  4. There’s a playlist on this website to help us process our emotions about another post on this website.

    This is why I love Autostraddle.

  5. You had me at “Still Hurting”. Then I read “instrumental”. I’ll be over here, in a corner, crying.

  6. Vanessa is leaving and I am going through letting go of someone personally. I will cry about both simultaneously while eating vegan ice cream and listening to this wonderful medley of wondefulness.

  7. as soon as i finish listening to this about 100x i am going to listen to this playlist about 100x and plot my escape

  8. ps “all my little words” is one of my favorite songs that i had forgotten about. thank you for magically putting that back in my life.

  9. This is the perfect tribute.
    Well, this or some really profound Buffy the Vampire Slayer quote.
    “A day without an autopsy is like a day without sunshine.”
    (Grace is better at this)

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