Playlist: Masturbation Month

May is National Masturbation month and I feel bad for letting you know this late in the game. I really hope you’ve been celebrating at least once daily despite my tardiness. I hope you’ve been celebrating SO MUCH that:

  • You’re 60% less stressed out.
  • You’ve been 5 minutes late to every appointment this month.
  • You’ve upgraded to the bulk size lube dispenser.
  • You’ve had to restock your watch battery supply six times.
  • Your fingers are all pruny like you just spent too much time in a hot tub.

In honor of MM, I’ve put together this playlist for you. And lemme tell ya, it was exciting — so exciting that I had to close the blinds and burn some incense and imagine Sadé serenading a clone of Sadé in a bathtub filled with rose petals and surrounded by 100 tea lights. So exciting that my sheets and all my underwear are in the laundry again.

Here’s to self-love:


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Faith Choyce is a writer, comedian, and cat whisperer who can be found on Twitter, Facebook, Patreon, and faithchoyce.com.

Faith has written 7 articles for us.

16 Comments

  1. 2

    What about the Haylee Steinfeld song that I heard in a Michael’s craft store once with my best friend and the two of us had to pretend like we didn’t know the song was about masturbation (to avoid laughing) while suburban mothers shopped for glitter glue with their children, none the wiser?

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