Against a grey background, a Black woman's hand squeezes half of an orange. The juice drips down her wrist. She is wearing black nail polish.

Love + Sex

Vabbing, the New Trend Where You Use Your Own Vaginal Fluids as Perfume

According to some vabbers, dabbing a little vagina juice behind your ears will make you more sexually attractive to others

A pensive woman with black hair and very light-brown skin wearing a fuzzy blue sweater. She is standing on her balcony with her elbows propped on the railing, looking pensive.

Relationships

You Need Help: Can I Go Through this Heartbreak Again?

In order to work through problems in a relationship, both parties must be present, willing, and able to do the work required. It’s a little like you’re sitting side by side in a rowboat, each holding one oar. When one person does all the rowing, you’re only going to go in circles.

In the bottom right corner of the image, there is a black line drawing of two women with 1950s hairstyles whispering to each other against a pink background. In the upper left corner, there is a speech bubble. Inside the speech bubble, there is an image of a periwinkle silicone sex toy with a long hand and a slight curve at the top with a small opening for suction.

Sex Toys

If My Clit Were Lost in the Woods, the Aer Would Still Find It

I’ve tried a lot of suction sex toys — here’s how the Aer compares.

WITAD? in yellow is against a purple background. A photo of Gaby Dunn with short pink hair wearing a purple collared shirt is below. Next to the photo in a yellow bubble it says "Dating Men" with guest Gaby Dunn" and then surrounding are various emoji stickers.

Dating Podcasts

“Wait, Is This a Date?” Podcast Episode 203: Dating Men

Whether you’re a lesbian who dated men as a teen or a queer person who dates lots of genders, our community is far too mixed and gender is far too complicated to leave men — cis and trans — out of our discussions.

Against a lavender background, on the bottom right corner of the image, there is a black line drawing of two women with 1950s hairstyles whispering to each other. In the upper left corner, there is a speech bubble. Inside the speech bubble, there is an image of a white person in a white crop top wearing black latex underwear against a pink background.

Sex Toys

Lorals Latex Underwear Gave Me Minimal Pleasure and Maximal Wedgies

And as the latex was rolling in on itself, it took any hair on my body with it, so I got the bikini wax I never asked for.

WITAD? in yellow is against a purple background. A photo of Carmen Phillips wearing a black and white head wrap and tortoise shell glasses is below. Next to the photo in a yellow bubble it says "Boundaries" with guest Carmen Phillips" and then surrounding are various emoji stickers.

Dating Podcasts

“Wait, Is This a Date?” Podcast Episode 202: Boundaries

When it comes to boundaries, our strengths are our weaknesses and our weaknesses are our strengths. (Also let us talk about Raven Symoné’s chaotic gay TikTok, shall we?)

Against a yellow background, a light orange purse is slightly open, revealing two bright pink, silicone sex toys peeking out.

Sex

I’m a Bisexual Woman With Genital Herpes — Here’s What’s in My Sex Bag

After my diagnosis, I thought my sex life was over. I was wrong.

WITAD? in yellow is against a purple background. A photo of Laneia Jones wearing a white sleeveless shirt is below. Next to the photo in a yellow bubble it says "Mommi Culture" with guest Laneia Jones" and then surrounding are various emoji stickers.

Dating Parenting & Family Podcasts

“Wait, Is This a Date?” Podcast Episode 201: Mommi Culture

Honey, we’re home!!!! “Wait, Is This a Date?” is back and we’re talking all things mommi culture! And all things dating as an actual mom!

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Sex

You Need Help: Will I Be A Virgin Forever?

There are a lot of harmful messages in our society about lack of experience, specifically about virginity. But you have so many things to offer, things which are far more vital to a good experience than whether you’ve had partnered sex before.

Love + Sex Sponsored

We Hosted a Virtual Workshop on COVID-19 and Queer Sexual Health!

Last week, we partnered with Rainbow Health to host a virtual workshop on COVID-19 and queer sexual health. Here’s a complete transcript of what went down!

a Black woman with long braids stands in the middle of the frame, looking upset, while watching a Black man and woman laugh together in the front of the frame

Dating

You Need Help: My Crush Is Dating Someone Else and I Feel Very Jealous

You don’t always get the girl, and that’s okay.

Against a gray background, a Black woman with natural hair who's wearing a red bandana around her head, wire-rimmed glassed, and a long-sleeve white shirt looks at her red phone with a surprised facial expression.

Dating

How to Make a Thirst Trap Gif

Want to really impress your crush? Send them a thirst trap gif. Here’s how to make one.

Sex

Needle Play Brings Me Back into My Body Over and Over Again

Editor’s Note: This essay includes descriptions of piercings with hypodermic needles and blood in a BDSM context and brief references to self-harm. Needles are an edge. They encompass many spheres and much stigma, reminding us that we’re flesh sacks filled with fluid a mere pinprick can pierce. IV drug users and those who are tattooed […]

A transfeminine non-binary person and transmasculine gender-nonconforming person look at each other on a couch

Relationships

You Need Help: Is ‘Lesbian Bed Death’ Really So Bad?

It’s easy to get the impression that everybody should be wanting to have lots of sex, all the time. But sex is not inherently superior to any other way you and your partner might spend time together. You and your partner are the only ones who get to decide how sex fits in to your life together, and which activities and intimacies are most meaningful to you both.

Against a white background, a yellow cake with pink and white frosting sits on a white plate. The top of the cake is fully smashed.

Sex

We Sat On Cakes to Find Our Joy

After months of holding ourselves back in order to keep ourselves and others safe from COVID, we were chasing abundance.

Dating

Join Autostraddle for a Virtual Workshop on COVID-19 and Queer Sexual Health

Do you have questions about sex and dating during an ongoing pandemic? Register for our virtual workshop!

In a room with white walls, a woman with olive skin, long, brown hair and floral tattoos on her lower arm sits in a white bed with her chin in her hand. To her left, a woman with pale skin and short brown hair who is wearing a grey T-shirt sits with her arms crossed.

Dating

Competitive Queerness Gives Me the Ick

This residual harm, this chip on the shoulder, this something to prove — they’re proving it to the wrong person. They’re gay-tekeeping.

A person with long hair sitting on her bed, silhouetted by the window, facing the filmy transparent curtains. Outside, there is the hint of a sunrise.

Relationships

You Need Help: Should My Relationship Really Be This Hard?

Moving through your relationship as carefully as you currently are is going to be unsustainable in the long-term. Your partner is enacting a sustained pattern of behavior that needs to stop.