![cassette tapes strewn against a blue background on a postcard-like image with a mushroom stamp and the text THANK YOU, EX!](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Carmen-Test-3-Humungous-Circle-Paper-Filter-copy-2.png?w=1200&resize=1200%2C600)
Thank You, Ex is a series of essays about the good things we were gifted by exes and kept.
I don’t know how to relate to someone without first asking, “Hey, what kind of music do you like to listen to?” It flows naturally in most courses of conversation — first dates, pillow talk, the text you send to keep the conversation going. Into your pillow, sighing the lyrics of a song that suddenly has new meaning. It matters significantly less now that I’m an adult, but as a teen, the music that my friends and girls I liked (not always mutually exclusive) listened to mattered a lot.
Just because you’re Julie.
Just because I finished my earth science homework early.
Just because I love you.
Just because these songs are life changing and you should hear them too.
Four of these CDs are from my ex. Three of them previously had their track listings yanked out and ripped up. The lone survivor with its paper still intact lists 15 tracks with a simple “juj (3)” as the title. I either got too tired and sad on my post-breakup rampage or it slipped to the bottom of the pile and I forgot about it. I think it’s okay that I left this one untouched. The CD is metallic purple and the date written is June 2015. My favorite song on the CD is Björk’s “Big Time Sensuality.” It’s part of a succession of CDs my ex burned for me in the early stages of our relationship. There are many missing from this collection, but I think that’s okay as well. It’s sweet that at one point, these songs reminded her of me.
The just because of these specific CDs is the fleeting nature of unconditional love.
P’s best friend was my ex. I’d always admired the love they had between them. There was a deep understanding. A love tender, even in the ebbs and flows of hormonal teenhood. Before I even knew anyone was queer at my school, I had seen the clever nicknames they had for one another and wanted that for myself. On Free Dress Fridays — this is a Catholic school thing apparently — the cool girls would wear sparkling jelly platform shoes and a mix of American Apparel and things they found at the thrift stores.
That year was the first I’d heard of Spotify, having spent my hours after school downloading songs from YouTube to mp3. It was the answer to my growing desire to relate to others via music. P and I would message each other songs on Spotify’s now nonexistent inbox feature, sharing playlists and new finds. My ex and I were just friends back then, but I distinctly remember her creating these monthly playlists of music she was listening to. It was a great way to share what had been found and memorialize it in time.
Step One: You must unfollow her on Spotify to ensure that you cannot see what she’s listening to anymore.
Step Two: Convince yourself you don’t need her monthly playlists to find new music, you did it by yourself before and you can certainly go it alone again.
Step Three: Sob relentlessly to any song that remotely reminds you of her.
Step Four: Take a year. Take a breath. You’ll be creating monthly playlists again in no time.
Step Five: Be bitter. Notice a nostalgic fondness and roll your eyes at your sentimentality. Date around and share songs with other people.
Step Six: Find stability and passion. She’s hot too.
Step Seven: Live through a global pandemic and start creating monthly playlists again for pleasure.
Step Eight: Write it down.
Very Informative Blog. actually i was a Spotify user but now i switched my Account to Apple Music using mosconvtool. very easy to use tool for transferring playlist.
Thank you for sharing details. i was a Spotify user but now i switched my Account to Apple Music using mosconvtool. very easy to use tool.