A woman with a backpack on a mountain, hiking away.

Relationships

You Need Help: You Fat-Shamed Your Beautiful Girlfriend

If your girlfriend wrote into this column with this story, I would tell her she should break up with you.

A white woman with red hair lies on her back on a bed with blue sheets. She's wearing a pink tank top, grey sweatpants with white stars, orange leopard print socks, and a white bandana tied around her head. She touches her chin, smiles, and looks at two sex toys on the bed to her right: a black "rabbit" vibrator and a pink dildo.

Sex Toys

How to Shop for Accessible Sex Toys When You Live With Chronic Pain

Living with chronic pain has taught me how to help myself and others achieve pleasure using accessible sex toys.

A couple, one with long dark hair and eyeliner, and another with glasses and short blonde hair who is kissing the knuckles of the other person.

Dating

You Need Help: How Do I Get Back Into Dating at Age 54?

As a culture, we spend a lot of time talking about all of the ways that dating can suck; it becomes easy to forget how fun it can actually be!

Against a black background, yellow text reads, "S - stone" on the left side of the image. On the right, there is a white and teal stencil of Leslie Feinberg, a masculine-presenting person with short hair and a serious expression. The top of Leslie's button-up shirt and tie is visible.

Sex

The Gay B C’s of Sex: S Is for Stone

Slick back your hair and cuff those sleeves — we’re heading back to the 1940s and ’50s.

a sad woman sitting on a sofa with a mug of tea looking depressed and alone

Relationships

You Need Help: I Feel Like I’m My Girlfriend’s Second Choice

I want you to start 2023 feeling like your own number-one pick. That way, when the right person comes along, you’ll be ready and confident to be her number-one pick, too.

Lesbian Weddings

Some Things I Didn’t Expect When Planning My Lesbian Wedding

2. I’m in not infrequent contact with a woman named Daphne who is renting me a Fancy Portable Toilet Trailer with air conditioning.

lonely woman sits alone outside, thinking of someone who isn't there

Friendship

You Need Help: My Best Friend Broke Up With Me

How can I grieve this and move on? I assumed it would just happen with time but a lot of time has passed and I’m still stuck.

Jaimee and Lisa on Say Yes to the Dress wear blindfolds and wedding dresses

Lesbian Weddings TV Feature

Looking Back at the Queer Episodes of “Say Yes to the Dress”

My understanding of my queerness has evolved significantly since the first lesbian brides appeared on Say Yes to the Dress.

In the bottom right corner of the image, there is a black line drawing of two women with 1950s hairstyles whispering to each other against a lavender background. In the upper left corner, there is a speech bubble. Inside the speech bubble, there is an image of the Le Wand XO, a black, curved vibrator. The insertable portion has a bulbous end, and the external stimulation portion has ridges. The handle is silver with buttons down the middle.

Sex Toys

The Le Wand XO Is Chic, Elegant, and Capable of Blasting Your Bits Into Bits

I love that this toy feels like a sleek, adult upgrade of my first vibrator.

a Black woman making a sad face with her head in her hand is in the foreground, while a group of girls hang out having a nice time behind her

Dating

You Need Help: After a Bad Date I’m Worried I’m Unlovable

We live in a world that doesn’t value people of color or women over thirty, so I understand why you feel like this. But you are lovable.

Light and dark pink roses are against a pale pink background. Vanessa, a white person with long, brown hair who's wearing a pink dress with ruffled sleeves and a pink KN95 mask, stands in the center holding a bouquet of white and pink roses.

Lesbian Weddings

I’m a Queer Bride on a Budget — And I Went to a Bridal Expo

Have you ever heard of a Bridal Expo? I sure hadn’t! And did you know there are wedding-themed porta potties?!

two young women lying in a truck bed looking at one another, wearing dark pants, scarves, and long sleeves

Friendship

You Need Help: I’m In Love With My Straight Best Friend

There will come a time when you see someone at the grocery store or in class and think “oh wow, they’re cute!” And then you’ll know: the hard work has paid off.

A bride in a long wedding gown and veil is running away down a brick path. Trees are visible on either side of her, and hills are in the distance. Her black high heels and white bouquet are on the ground.

Relationships

How I’m Rewriting the “Trophy Wife” Script As a Queer Trans Woman

I want to be treasured for my many wonderful qualities beneath the surface and held proudly by the person who chooses to date me.

Against a purple background, yellow text reads, "G - gold star lesbian." On the right side of the image, there is a comic book drawing of a Black woman with an afro. She wears gold hoops, lipstick, a yellow turtleneck dress, a blue jacket with a red collar, and a red belt with a black and white buckle reading, "MN." She is at an angle, presumably leaning against a wall. Behind her, the background is pink.

Sex

The Gay B C’s of Sex: G Is for Gold Star Lesbian

Put on your lesbian hard hats — we’re about to enter dangerous territory.

a bright fire burning strongly in the night

Relationships

You Need Help: I Want to Work on Myself, How Do I Do That?

I have behaviors I notice that spill into my relationship that stem from personal issues. I want to be a better person to myself, and my partner. I want to feel like my cup is full as I am, and then be able to use that to help fill our cup.

In the bottom right corner of the image, there is a black line drawing of two women with 1950s hairstyles whispering to each other against a light blue background. In the upper left corner, there is a speech bubble. Inside the speech bubble, there is an image of the Iroha Plus Tori, a dark red, teardrop-shaped sex toy with a convex side and a concave side. The concave side has small ridges.

Sex Toys

The Iroha Plus Tori Looks Less Like A Sex Toy and More Like a Woodland Grub (But It Still Got Me Off)

Because of the Iroha Plus Tori’s ambiguous shape, I wasn’t immediately clear on how to use it.

a young Black woman looking at an approaching train while standing on the metro station platform

Life Relationships

You Need Help: What To Do With This Meaningless, Single Life?

I want to try to hold space here for both: for your (and my, really) pain and for the possibility that you may not feel this way forever.

queer person with short black hair lies on their stomach holding a phone that is clearly showing porn

Relationships

You Need Help: My Trauma is Activated When My Partner Masturbates to Porn

Your feelings are deeply understandable, even though your partner isn’t doing anything wrong. If you haven’t already, it’s time to seek trauma therapy.