Bottoms Up: You Are Not My Dom
Somehow, self-identifying as a submissive makes some potential doms think I am their sub.
Somehow, self-identifying as a submissive makes some potential doms think I am their sub.
You just have to be honest about what you’re looking for, and keep going after it.
“I guess I had a lot of opinions that night because you told me that I was especially chatty. I told you it was because you weren’t giving me anything to keep my mouth busy.”
Sometimes, being in kinky subspace opens old wounds from an abusive relationship — but sometimes, it can give you the power to close them.
I want to break things — holes, walls, people. I want to feel the begging in my pelvis and let it ignite the fire under me to burn bright up my spine and light up all my colors.
I imagine being a collared submissive as a physical manifestation of my and my dominant’s commitment, a symbol around kinky folks and a public secret around vanilla ones.
“He’d asked me about it before, saying it was something he’d always wanted. And now, he was quivering on the floor, looking up at me, handing me an open knife with both hands.”
I don’t always play to get off. Sometimes denial is exactly what I want.
“I really really want to like going down on her, but I don’t. It feels overwhelming — the smell, the taste, the trouble breathing.”
In the beginning checking in all the time was useful. But after six months of it, Sarah was getting annoyed.
“For me, as a Black Trans Woman, to find her body not only as something worthy and magnificent (as it is), but to find someone to share that magick with, may very well be one of the only moments she has to enjoy a trying and very taxing life — one that’s always trying to kill her.”
As my gender expression changes, so does who I’m attracted to.
“But when we changed the game a little, and added just a few little things, our play soared to new mountain summits I hadn’t even known we could reach, or let alone want.”
As I grow more into the submissive I want to be, I grow to love myself more.
Within D/s relationships specifically, protocols are explicit, negotiated with the needs and best interests of everyone in mind, subject to change based on reflection and consent.
“Holistic masochism recognizes that I’m not just a sex machine, but a whole person who has to exist before and after play.”
We thrive on these everyday tiny moments where we both get to be reminded of our agreed-upon power differential.
“Perhaps trust is my biggest kink. That would explain a lot.”
“When I’m alone, and the world feels like it’s ending, for whom do I do service?”
“I knew she wanted it, I trusted her to know she could take what she asked for, and I wanted to give her what she wanted. But I couldn’t do it.”