OPEN THREAD: Give Us The Gif That Describes Your First Queer Sex Experience

This week a brand new craze has taken the internet by storm! I am, of course, referring to that thread on Reddit where people sum up their first sexual experience using gifs.

This has yielded the following results:

0VcEZx4

c9Ups

Not-Sure-What-to-do-With-Hands-Talladega-Nights-Ricky-Bobby

And many more.

Now we could just team pick this because it’s funny—I have a habit of team picking things that make me spit-take. But I think we can do one better. It is my personal opinion that the average Autostraddle reader is both funnier and gayer than the average Redditor. So I think we can make a thread on here that will be both funnier and gayer.

There is only one thing I am asking of you: post a gif about your first lady-sex experience.

Here is how you do that. Just use some HTML right into the comment box: <img src=”paste-your-URL-here”>. Be sure that your URL is complete and includes the http:// part, and that the quotes are straight up and down quotes rather than curly quotes. If your image didn’t post, it’s ’cause you did the HTML wrong. We will fix it for you as soon as we can, so don’t post it again!

I’ll go first.

ku-medium

Feature image via Shutterstock.

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A.E. Osworth

A.E. Osworth is part-time Faculty at The New School, where they teach undergraduates the art of digital storytelling. Their novel, We Are Watching Eliza Bright, about a game developer dealing with harassment (and narrated collectively by a fictional subreddit), is forthcoming from Grand Central Publishing (April 2021) and is available for pre-order now. They have an eight-year freelancing career and you can find their work on Autostraddle (where they used to be the Geekery Editor), Guernica, Quartz, Electric Lit, Paper Darts, Mashable, and drDoctor, among others.

A.E. has written 542 articles for us.

267 Comments

  27. you did it right, but the link isn’t an image link! if it’s an image link, it will end with .gif or .png or something.

  39. At first it was like this because when we met, she told me she was straight and she had a boyfriend:
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    But then I learned not all girls reciprocate, so it ended like this:
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

      • It wasn’t your fault, Ericka! For some reason the code gifbin gave you wasn’t working? So it’s totes on them or on the internet being weird I guess.

    • Ha! The girl from Jurassic Park! That was me like the entire time. The rainbows and dancing came waaayy later after all the shock and adrenalin wore off.

  61. I was as blase as anyone can get about sex, thought I must be frigid, then I morphed into this pretty much.

  66. or alternately…?

    (Someone tell me to quit or I’ll be finding these all night and posting them. Hah.)

  74. I felt like this was also relevant to my first time

    I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I LOVE HOW MANY COMMENTS THIS HAS BEEN GETTING IN THE LAST TWO HOURS. OMG YOU GUYS. I wait to see all of the pix you guys post and THIS THE BEST THREAD EVER. I LOVE THIS WEBSITE. FIST BUMP Ali -^^-

    • AAAAAH I saw the first 3 Gifs and actually said, “Where is video?? So can watch it?!?!” (This outburst startled my girlfriend.)

      Then I found it and I am going to watch it. +Explodes+

  88. At first I was all like “what is happening?!?”

    And then I was…

    And then I thought, wait… AM I GAY?!?!?!

    • I have been wondering how to do this for about 2 wks now, how to copy and paste gif, so forgive my beginnery-ness. I tried.

    • I didn’t report anything of the sort to her Mother. But, hey.. you have to play to your strengths, right??

  101. HOW I HOPED MY EXCESSIVE SHIVERING WAS RECEIVED:

    HOW I REALLY FELT WHILST SHIVERING UNCONTROLLABLY (but still controlling my bladder, y’all… chill):

  109. At first I was all like

    And then I was all like

    And I felt like

    So I was like “dude, what does this mean?”

    And I was like, totally ok with that

  116. I present to you, a Story of Queer Virginity, as told through Fernando Torres Gifs:

    First she was like this:

    And then I was like:

    And then she was like:

    Which meant I was like:

    So then, it was only a matter of courage:

    So then it was like:

    After which point, it was like:

    And, eventually it was like:

    And like:

    But like, nbd, right?

    That’s it!

  125. Started off on the swings….(literal)

    Progressed to the bedroom….

    Little bit of this action…

    And also some of this….

    It felt like my whole lesbian college was cheering for me!


  129. Followed by both of us swearing back and forth that we were totally straight.
    I’ve still got the holes in my feet from how well I was nailed to the floor of that closet 0__0

  131. Sadly I deleted my massive gif collection when I quit tumblr because of procrastination, so this will have to do:

    My girlfriend:

    Me:

      • fixed! you were missing the http:// at the beginning of the link, and at the end of the link you had two quotation marks — one of which was a curly quote mark instead of a “smart” quote mark, but regardless you only need one — and you added a backslash after the quotation marks. about 45 people have made the same mistake on this thread!

  133. this is sooo great. So many of feelings have been posted above. I can’t compete.

    Ali is right, y’all are super funny.

  139. I was like:

    She was all:

    And then:

    It was so awful and complicated that I would need twenty pictures to explain it. Thankfully things have gotten much better!

  156. Still waiting too so this is how I feel.

    This is what I wish was going down.

    Now lets see if I actually did this posting gif thing right.

    • I am very sad that I messed up the second gif. Props to whoever fixed the first one. Below is what was supposed to be below it. Maybe it will work now?

      I really do wish this was happening because yay.

  161. except me prancing about yelling “I’m sooo gaaaaaaaay!!!!”
    yes, there were onesies…

    p.s. this thread made me finally sign up for autostraddle

  164. Not a period joke actually – this is the horror of not realizing that breaking hymen = possibility of looking down and noticing the sheets have mysteriously become soaked in blood and OH GOD WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN WHAT IS GOING ON YOU NAILS DON’T LOOK THAT SHARP I THOUGHT MY PRIEST WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THE GAY SEX ANIMAL SACRIFICE WHERE IS MY CAT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM

  168. Well, she was experienced, so she was like:

    And at first I felt like

    But then!! Natural instincts? That’s what I’m going with. And it ended with me like:

    • It would appear the answer is “no, I cannot.” They were devastatingly funny. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

  178. The first time partner was a very experienced lady…

    whereas I was more like Katniss here…

    It didn’t go all too well so at the end I was really shy but the other party was kind…

  181. I was like:

    They were like:

    We were like:

    Then I was like:

    (if I had to limit it to one I would pick his gif.)

    From then on:

  182. First time she did anything to me:

    First time I did anything to her

    Also, be proud of me I wasn’t her first sex, but I was her first orgasm and for that I applaud myself. ♥

  184. it was a first for us both, and although I was extremely nervous, she came at me like

    I was-

    Unfortunately – the rollercoaster of a relationship turned out more like this


  187. Needless to say, I was drunk. And it was on her ex girlfriend’s bed. Then I started seeing her ex. Then her ex didn’t want to see me anymore. Then she became my first girlfriend.

    Woof!

    • I Googled ‘How to comment with a gif on Autostraddle’ and ended up here (best. Thread. Ever.), so I figured I might as well give it a go, but I failed. One day I will learn to do it, but today is not that day.

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