OPEN THREAD: Give Us The Gif That Describes Your First Queer Sex Experience

This week a brand new craze has taken the internet by storm! I am, of course, referring to that thread on Reddit where people sum up their first sexual experience using gifs.

This has yielded the following results:

0VcEZx4

c9Ups

Not-Sure-What-to-do-With-Hands-Talladega-Nights-Ricky-Bobby

And many more.

Now we could just team pick this because it’s funny—I have a habit of team picking things that make me spit-take. But I think we can do one better. It is my personal opinion that the average Autostraddle reader is both funnier and gayer than the average Redditor. So I think we can make a thread on here that will be both funnier and gayer.

There is only one thing I am asking of you: post a gif about your first lady-sex experience.

Here is how you do that. Just use some HTML right into the comment box: <img src=”paste-your-URL-here”>. Be sure that your URL is complete and includes the http:// part, and that the quotes are straight up and down quotes rather than curly quotes. If your image didn’t post, it’s ’cause you did the HTML wrong. We will fix it for you as soon as we can, so don’t post it again!

I’ll go first.

ku-medium


Feature image via Shutterstock.

 


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Deputy Editor for The Inquisitive Eater: New School Food and Fiction Editor for qu.ee/r Magazine. Also an MFA candidate and Teaching Fellow at The New School. Keep up with her at her website.

Ali has written 453 articles for us.

265 Comments

  1. Thumb up 1

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    you did it right, but the link isn’t an image link! if it’s an image link, it will end with .gif or .png or something.

  2. Thumb up 13

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    At first it was like this because when we met, she told me she was straight and she had a boyfriend:
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    But then I learned not all girls reciprocate, so it ended like this:
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    • Thumb up 2

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      Ha! The girl from Jurassic Park! That was me like the entire time. The rainbows and dancing came waaayy later after all the shock and adrenalin wore off.

  3. Thumb up 7

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    I felt like this was also relevant to my first time

    I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I LOVE HOW MANY COMMENTS THIS HAS BEEN GETTING IN THE LAST TWO HOURS. OMG YOU GUYS. I wait to see all of the pix you guys post and THIS THE BEST THREAD EVER. I LOVE THIS WEBSITE. FIST BUMP Ali -^^-

    • Thumb up 1

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      AAAAAH I saw the first 3 Gifs and actually said, “Where is video?? So can watch it?!?!” (This outburst startled my girlfriend.)

      Then I found it and I am going to watch it. +Explodes+

  4. Thumb up 4

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    HOW I HOPED MY EXCESSIVE SHIVERING WAS RECEIVED:

    HOW I REALLY FELT WHILST SHIVERING UNCONTROLLABLY (but still controlling my bladder, y’all… chill):

  5. Thumb up 21

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    At first I was all like

    And then I was all like

    And I felt like

    So I was like “dude, what does this mean?”

    And I was like, totally ok with that

  6. Thumb up 6

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    I present to you, a Story of Queer Virginity, as told through Fernando Torres Gifs:

    First she was like this:

    And then I was like:

    And then she was like:

    Which meant I was like:

    So then, it was only a matter of courage:

    So then it was like:

    After which point, it was like:

    And, eventually it was like:

    And like:

    But like, nbd, right?

    That’s it!

  7. Thumb up 11

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    Started off on the swings….(literal)

    Progressed to the bedroom….

    Little bit of this action…

    And also some of this….

    It felt like my whole lesbian college was cheering for me!

  8. Thumb up 17

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    Followed by both of us swearing back and forth that we were totally straight.
    I’ve still got the holes in my feet from how well I was nailed to the floor of that closet 0__0

  9. Thumb up 12

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    Sadly I deleted my massive gif collection when I quit tumblr because of procrastination, so this will have to do:

    My girlfriend:

    Me:

  10. Thumb up 1

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    I was like:

    She was all:

    And then:

    It was so awful and complicated that I would need twenty pictures to explain it. Thankfully things have gotten much better!

  11. Thumb up 3

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    Still waiting too so this is how I feel.

    This is what I wish was going down.

    Now lets see if I actually did this posting gif thing right.

    • Thumb up 1

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      I am very sad that I messed up the second gif. Props to whoever fixed the first one. Below is what was supposed to be below it. Maybe it will work now?

      I really do wish this was happening because yay.

  12. Thumb up 9

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    except me prancing about yelling “I’m sooo gaaaaaaaay!!!!”
    yes, there were onesies…

    p.s. this thread made me finally sign up for autostraddle

  13. Thumb up 7

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    Not a period joke actually – this is the horror of not realizing that breaking hymen = possibility of looking down and noticing the sheets have mysteriously become soaked in blood and OH GOD WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN WHAT IS GOING ON YOU NAILS DON’T LOOK THAT SHARP I THOUGHT MY PRIEST WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT THE GAY SEX ANIMAL SACRIFICE WHERE IS MY CAT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM

  14. Thumb up 4

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    Well, she was experienced, so she was like:

    And at first I felt like

    But then!! Natural instincts? That’s what I’m going with. And it ended with me like:

    • Thumb up 2

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      It would appear the answer is “no, I cannot.” They were devastatingly funny. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

  15. Thumb up 3

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    The first time partner was a very experienced lady…

    whereas I was more like Katniss here…

    It didn’t go all too well so at the end I was really shy but the other party was kind…

  16. Thumb up 4

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    I was like:

    They were like:

    We were like:

    Then I was like:

    (if I had to limit it to one I would pick his gif.)

    From then on:

  17. Thumb up 2

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    First time she did anything to me:

    First time I did anything to her

    Also, be proud of me I wasn’t her first sex, but I was her first orgasm and for that I applaud myself. ♥

  18. Thumb up 3

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    it was a first for us both, and although I was extremely nervous, she came at me like

    I was-

    Unfortunately – the rollercoaster of a relationship turned out more like this

  19. Thumb up 0

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    Needless to say, I was drunk. And it was on her ex girlfriend’s bed. Then I started seeing her ex. Then her ex didn’t want to see me anymore. Then she became my first girlfriend.

    Woof!

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