NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Changing and Staying The Same

Feature image of Valentine and Calico in Crash Pad episode 232. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday! This Sunday is exactly the same except for one thing: this is my last NSFW Sunday as NSFW (and literary) editor. After five years as NSFW editor, and almost eight at Autostraddle, I’ve made the terrifying decision to move on. My entire life looks the way it does because of this world we’ve created together – I literally cannot list everything that Autostraddle has brought into my life and the friends, family and community I’ve found here because after so long it is almost as part of who I am as breathing.

As sad as I am, I’m excited to move forward and pursue other projects across editing, writing and sexuality. If you’re into it, find me on Twitter, Instagram and my website (hire me). But some queers you need to break up with more than once, so I’ll also still be the NSFW in your Sunday every week! Let’s get to it.

Valentine and Calico in Crash Pad episode 232

Queers! We’re great at anxiety, and sometimes that means we’re not great at navigating how our sex lives and mental health intersect. Here are some tips, from Rachel Lewis at Her Campus:

“One thing that has helped me a lot as a queer person with anxiety is discovering new ways to have sex, or even just to feel more intimate with my partner. Sometimes, I’m just too stressed and buzzy and wired to have sex with a capital S as me and my partner define it, but maybe I could be into something different.

Allow yourself to experiment with new things that feel good to both you and your partner or partners. Maybe this means mutual masturbation, or sex toys, or even some heavy making out. Maybe this means having sex, but not kissing at all. We all have different things that feel good, and it’s totally fine to have some acts that you reserve for when you’re feeling your best mental health-wise, and other ones you prefer when you’re feeling down or a little off.”

Scout and Lew Pine in Crash Pad Series episode 227

Why not try to become a one-week Harry Potter fan fiction erotica sensation?

Mars is retrograde until August 27. Here’s some sex magic to try.

PornHub now has a closed captioning category.

How real is astrological compatibility anyway?

If you’re extremely allergic to peanuts, and your partner eats them, use barriers for rimming.

Professional dominatrix, educator and writer Yin Q spoke to Paper about her Mercy Mistress memoir and series, depicting kink beyond sensationalism, making art for sex workers and the kink community, and more.

Sometimes a divorce is just a divorce.

What’s your instagram strategy for photos of your exes? Delete everything? Archive everything? Leave everything up as a testament to your dead love?

Cinnamon Maxxine and Amani Luxe in Crash Pad Series episode 243

And what do you do with the nudes? At Broadly, Leila Ettachfini writes:

“Before you send a nude, understand that you’re sending someone a gift, and people have differing, unwritten rules for gifts they receive, as exhibited by my conversations with Dr. Powell and Olivarius. “Personally, I think it’s within ethical guidelines to apply the norms of other intimate gift giving when it comes to nudes,” says Dr. Powell. “Gift giving is generally consensual, mutual, and expresses a level of care or thought towards the other person. There are social expectations that you don’t re-gift, and that if a relationship ends you offer the gift back.”

Alternatively, “I think most people would say it’s fair keeps,” says Olivarius. “You got a gift in the relationship and you can keep it. If you get an engagement ring you don’t generally return it.”

Clearly, our unwritten rules for sexting aren’t black and white, so talk to your lucky nude-receivers about how you’d prefer they treat your sexy gifts, both during and after your relationship ends.”

Chocolate Chip and Nikki Darling in Crash Pad Series episode 152


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Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 878 articles for us.

10 Comments

  1. 1. Carolyn! Congratulations! That is so scary and exciting and I can’t imagine all the emotions that are wrapped up in that. Personally, I’ve learned so much from your work here over the years? Idk, I have no shame, I’ll just come out and say that. Super grateful for everything you’ve done here, there honestly aren’t sufficient words. Also very glad that you’ll still be doing the NSFW Sunday, but yeah. Just, thank you for literally everything. Words! They fail sometimes! Anyway, you’re fantastic and will continue to kill it and I’m so excited for you. <3

    2. I have so many thoughts and feelings about that astrological compatibility article. Conveniently, I'm writing a series on astrological compatibility for Autostraddle that will start posting once I actually turn the first damn article in hopefully today so YAY.

  2. Carolyn, I don’t think it’s possible to overstate how important, even transformative, your work here has been for our community. Not just providing much-needed education, but actively countering and resisting cultural messages that try to enforce shame and silence around sex, and most especially queer sex.

    Thank you for all that you have done for us. I’m glad to know we’ll still be seeing you in NSFW Sunday posts, and I wish you all the best in your next steps.

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