Homophobes Throw A Stupid Party for North Carolina’s Stupid Amendment 1

When Amendment 1 passed in North Carolina, most socially well-adjusted and otherwise good people were disappointed and upset. But for the people working to ensure that illegal gay marriage in the state was doubly illegal, it was cause for a celebration about as kind and loving as they are.

According to the News Observer, 250 supporters were at the Hilton North Raleigh for a wedding-themed party when news broke that Amendment 1 had passed. The event had a cash bar, an endless flow of love songs, and a seven-tier white wedding cake featuring – of course – a man and woman on top hugging one another. Keeping it classy!

via Jezebel

When the Amendment’s success was announced by the Associated Press, Tami Fitzgerald, chairwoman of Vote for Marriage, gave a speech in which it became clear that she is an absolute loon who knows nothing of current heterosexual marriage divorce rates or our secular government. She was okay with that, though:

“Ladies and gentlemen, through God’s great mercy we have won an overwhelming victory tonight,” she said.

The voters, she said, sent a clear and unmistakable desire to “protect marriage in our state, in our country.”

“As you all know, marriage was not invented by government. Our creator established it as the union of a man and a woman in an exclusive lifelong covenant and it has merely been recognized by government as the key to a strong and flourishing society.”

The only overriding message of the festivities appears to be that gay people can’t have their cake or eat it at all, but that straight people will continue to do both in front of us for a very long time. I struggle to decide whether holding a wedding reception to celebrate marriage inequality is tacky or actually just the shittiest idea any shitty human being could ever have. At the end of the day, what I do know is that Tami Fitzgerald and whoever else planned the party are probably the most unimaginative adult bullies in the universe.

I hope they’re proud of themselves, but most of all I hope that cake was dry and / or bland.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.


    • Maybe a “blast” from the cruel and dark past… or like something that needs to be blasted into outer space

      • ugh, if we were to do that… we should expect angry sonar signals from the aliens that pick up that past…

  1. That’s it…I’m moving. I don’t want to be associated with this state anymore.

    • So long as we’re coming this close to “Futurama” riffs:

      “Yeah, well… I’m gonna go throw my own party, with blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the party!”

  2. Weird, do the 10 Commandments actually treat marriage specifically? I don’t remember a commandment along the lines of “you shall only marry a person of the opposite sex” but maybe I was exercising selective learning in Religion class.

    • I say this in response to her claim that God created marriage. I’m not aware of any other moment in which God himself gives laws. And I find the claim that government had nothing to do with marriage pretty unstable, given the fact that church and state have pretty much never, ever been separate.

      • Thats the thing with these people (and I mentioned this yesterday), they pick and choose the parts of the bible they want to believe in and when you try to argue with them they will say “oh i only believe in page 249-590 of the bible, so your argument is invalid”

        How can they hide behind something that isn’t even there? “i’m hiding behind God” NO YOU’RE NOT I CAN SEE YOU!

    • hmm opposite sex, does this mean my chromosomes say i can still marry my girlfriend… I always wonder this… why does one little letter change make me no longer able to marry my girlfriend…

  3. i am so infuriated from all of this that i really want to punch people in the face.

  4. that cake looks fucking stupid.

    also i keep thinking about how weird it is that those two little girls on the right are being raised to despise me. they just look so cute.

  5. I almost wish I was there just so I could have made some sort of very dramatic scene involving me flipping the table and yelling “You can have your cake, but have fun eating it off the ground!” and then getting on my steed and riding away

  6. I really thought this was a joke when I first heard this. I’d say it was both tacky and the shittiest idea any human being could ever have.

    Even their cake looks ugly.

  7. Nothing has ever made me more ashamed to be from NC than people actually cutting a fucking cake over denying total strangers rights.

  8. I hope that cake was made by a straight man who doesn’t know the difference between teaspoon and tablespoon or baking powder from baking soda. And I hope all the cake eaten by the sad and unfortunate gays of NC was made by a fabulous gay man who knows how to make little flowers out of his homemade low cal (but still absolutely delicious!) frosting.

  9. As a master of nutella swiss meringue buttercream and gluten free chocolate cake, I can tell you something, which is that gays make wayyyyyyyyy better cake.

    I bet theirs didn’t have raspberry curd, so they can suck it.

    • It’s true. She makes cake for me all the time. And leaves the extra icing in my fridge.

      • and then weeks later I get a phone call/text/facebook message that she is eating nutella buttercream and it makes me feel oddly warm and fuzzy.

        (also, if any of you ever are in the Northern Indiana/Michiana area, I will make you cake so hard. QUEER CAKE SOLIDARITY).

  10. these ugly despisable nutters always seem to ignore the facts that `traditionally’ marriage often involved one man and many wives, and sometimes one man and his sister (happens in the bible) that the christians stole it from the romans who used it to protect property and the romans nicked it from the egyptians WAY before `christ’ and therefore `christianity’ appeared and they usually married within the family where possible to protect the ruling family and its bloodline….which version of traditional would they prefer????!!!!

    • Exactly!Marriage (like many social structures) has meant so many different things throughout human history. This is the 21st century, people! The world is changing…and so do linguistic definitions!

    • Hell, “marriage” around the time of Jesus was primarily what we would see as a business transaction, and it absolutely wasn’t unheard of for two dudes to form such a union.

      (Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe is an fascinating book, if you’re interested.)

  11. pretttyyyy sure that the blonde lady in the white jacket standing behind the idiot taking the picture of the cake used to be my neighbor. ughhhhhh!!!

  12. Look at the guy in the black shirt, in the center of the pic. The look on his face, it’s like he wants to have sex with the cake. Do they not eat cake in NC? That looks like one of those spoiled milk cakes. Martha Stewart would be ashamed of that cake, I bet she made better ones in jail.

    • He’s totally a photobomber. I have a theory he wasn’t invited and is actually a gay rights supporter who came by just to ruin their picture.

  13. I know it’s silly, but I’m always surprised at how “normal” the people look at these types of events. It would be much more convenient if such hate-filled people all looked like mustachioed villains from silent movies.

    • I like that they look “normal” though because it’s a reminder that they probably have kids and grandkids, or will in the future, who will see this and be embarrassed and give their parents/grandparents shit for being such bigots.

  14. I never comment on here, just read, but as I am from NC I really feel like I need to comment on this. This whole situation is just so incredibly disheartening for me because most of the people I know from home voted FOR this, including my family. Yesterday and today I have read FB comments by some of those people explaining why their vote was “justifiable”. And the thing about it that really gets me is that they are so sincere in there reasoning. Like, they really think they’re do everyone a service with this. I’ve read comments about how they’re so proud to be “protecting marriage”, but they still have a lot of work to do.
    It’s just so pompous and arrogant (both of which I’m pretty sure the Bible notes as “not good”), and for them to then go a throw this party and basically shove it the faces of so many honest, good, and loving gay people is just sad. And, yeah, tacky.
    I’m fortunate enough that I live far, far away, across the ocean in a city that is more accepting, but I still dread the eventual day when I go back to visit.

  15. That is one basic looking cake. It’s not even frosted well. It looks like they threw frosting at it.

  16. As a lesbian, I am 100% behind the sentiment of this article. At the same time though, it seems to frost (excuse the pun) over some of the intricacies of this issue, particularly the first sentence (“When Amendment 1 passed in North Carolina, most socially well-adjusted and otherwise good people were disappointed and upset. But for the people working to ensure that illegal gay marriage in the state was doubly illegal, it was cause for a celebration about as kind and loving as they are.”)

    I’m as pissed off the Amendment passing as I’m sure all of you are. But making blanket statements about the morality, kindness, and general “goodness” of people as related to their stance on gay marriage seems unnecessary and overly diluted. There are good, kind people who don’t understand gay marriage, just as there are terrible, mean gay people.

    • Well said. Hating our haters doesn’t make anything better, it just brings us down to their level.

    • I definitely agree with you, and I think many of us do, because many of us come from families of good, moral people who don’t believe in gay marriage.

      That said…I would venture to say that most well-adjusted people do not throw anti-marriage equality parties complete with tacky wedding cakes. Now, that’s a little mean-spirited.

    • I think it stands to reason that the general “goodness” of these people is questionable. Disagreeing with gay marriage and making their stance clear is one thing, and you’re right, does not lend itself to hateful comments on our part. But throwing a party to celebrate the stripping away of people’s basic civil rights is something else entirely. I agree that we shouldn’t make generalizations about individualized characteristics of an entire group of people, but I believe that what these particular people have done crosses a certain boundary, and does merit the anger and sweeping statements about their morality expressed in this article and in the comments.

  17. This is horrible for all the lovely people in nc! At the same time though I am feeling wildly optimistic and can’t help but hope that picture will be kept for future text books.That way these people’s offspring can be extra embarrassed of their relatives for they will forever be remember eating cake in celebration of road blocking human rights. I hope they can all be named for the caption too!

  18. Those bitches. I am so glad I live in Washington State, and at least our state is a little more proactive.

  19. Wow. Is it silly of me to say the fact that this happened actually hurt my feelings as a human being? There’s no words to describe how ridic straight up MEAN this was. I mean, ok, you guys won. We don’t get to marry each other. It sucks ass. But to rub our faces in it with that kind of response goes above and beyond rude. I keep staring at the picture cause I’m astonished that these kinds of people actually exist…Jesus.

  20. At the Family Values Bakery, we’ll make your wedding cake white, straight and tasteless, just the way you like it!

    Too bad they can’t even dress it up a bit with some rainbow sprinkles, poor things.

  21. Okay, so when I first read this article I wanted to scream and throw things, or maybe just go out and get stupidly drunk. These kids will be ashamed of their parents in thirty years but that’s not enough. They should be ashamed of themselves NOW. Here we are with all our Lesbian Feelings, always trying not to offend anyone and to treat everyone with respect, and here they go and throw a party to celebrate the complete and utter destruction of our rights.

    When I went to the polls there was a lady distributing pro-Amendment One literature and I went right up to her in my rainbow shit and smiled and shook her hand, because I just wanted her to know that I’m a real person, and that maybe we could even be friends if she gave me half a chance.

    But no, the homophobes here will never give us a chance. The past few months have been like chasing the beautiful girl who made fun of you in middle school.

    Then after I had the above feelings, I went off and read the A-Camp article and it made me feel better, because you know what? I’m done chasing that girl (by which I mean, a state), and I’m going to find a girl (/state)who will treat me better than this.

    Hope everyone enjoyed that rant as much as I did… YOLO?

    • That lady probably had to go wash & use hand sanitizer after you touched her… beware the lesbo-germs!

  22. Don’t be fooled, because they may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, slut-faced ho-bags. But in reality, they are so much more than that.

  23. I have so much hate for the conservative movement and that celebration is just so disgusting. Ugh. Also, their cake is ugly — like their hearts.

  24. They probably went for the “wedding reception” theme because their own wedding receptions actually kind of sucked, as one would expect when the people getting married are hateful prudes.

  25. I have never been one to quote bible verses, but since they seem to use it as a defense…

    Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not throw a fucking party with cake to celebrate.

  26. I am just masochistic enough to keep coming back to this article and looking at that picture but not enough to take the time and read the article through.

    • Also these people seem like douches but the cake really did steal the spotlight in this article.

  27. I love that this woman thought it was a good idea to throw a fake wedding to celebrate the sanctity of marriage. Bless her heart.

  28. I look at that picture and Eddie Izzard comes to mind
    “You there! Cake or Death?”

    Celebrating the continuing denial of another person’s civil rights is beyond horrible. Such a cruel thing to do.

    • Very well! Give them cake!

      I can’t even really muster up the energy to be angry about this. I kind of feel like a kicked puppy, in all honesty. A quietly frustrated, kicked puppy. I just don’t understand that type of cruelty, on a very fundamental basis. It doesn’t make sense to me.

  29. It’s horrible that this happened, but what I just can’t get over is all the kids in that picture. I just… I can’t imagine that they’re growing up thinking this is okay. That’s what breaks my heart here. All those kids are being taught to hate.

    • Me too. I was angry about it until I started reading the comments and someone mentioned the kids in the pic. Then I cried a little bit (it’s been a long week).

    • Is it just me, or do all of the young people look like they are more interested in the cake itself than what it stands for? Like the kid in stripes doesn’t look like he’s thinking of anything else except “mmmcake.”

  30. Ugh…

    though this would have been kind of amusing if anyone had infiltrated the party and switched cake decoration genders round just for fun…

    maybe i should look into homophobic party redecoration as a career/art form…

  31. When I first saw the title picture on my phone, I thought for a moment that it was a picture of a lesbian wedding celebration, used ironically or something. But no. Who throws a wedding reception themed party to celebrate their straightness and has two women cut the wedding cake?!? ;)

  32. “As you all know, marriage was not invented by government. Our creator established it as the union of a man and a woman in an exclusive lifelong covenant and it has merely been recognized by government as the key to a strong and flourishing society.”

    ahahahaha What an idiot. Read a history book, ffs.

  33. when i grow up i want to own a bakery targeted at conservative hate groups who want to have tacky parties

    and the cakes would look normal and white and hetro but on the inside, it is rainbow colored, and 10 glittery queers pop out of the cake and stab all the attendees with unicorns until they shut up

  34. i bet they don’t even know how to do the cha-cha-slide…

    you know if this is heaven and A-camp is hell, then I know where my van will always be headed. shredded tires be damned.

  35. personally i’m hoping they had to suffer through fondant on that cake. fondant is some evil shit. i think it was invented just to make cake untasty.

  36. Having actually talked to one of these people (coming to MY house, trying to get me to sign the california prop 8 petition) Some of them really, truly believe they are doing sacred work. The guy I talked to, after my resounding “no I will not sign a discrimination petition” said that gay people being able to marry was going to open the door for bestiality, polygamy, and incest, and eventual destruction of society. Seriously.

    I’m pretty sure people said something similar about people of different colors being able to marry back in the day too. Crazy people will be crazy, we just have to be out there showing the sane-but-uneducated how productive, loving, and normal gay people are. The tide is turning, we’ll have our cake soon!

  37. I live 20 minutes over the state line from Charlotte, in Rock Hill,SC. I honestly cried, I was so angry at this. The fact that the ‘phobes are partying over it makes me even madder.

  38. So, wait a minute… these are the same people who don’t want their kids to find out about The Gay, and don’t want gay couples visible, because how do they explain that to their kids?

    But then they take their kids to a party celebrating the defeat of marriage equality. So… how did they explain to their kids what that party was about, exactly?

  39. Everyone has the right to their own opinion and personal beliefs. However as a Christian American, I can easily separate Church from State. It is absolutely UNconstitutional to NOT allow our citizens to marry if they wish, gay or heterosexual. I wish we had a President that would do more than “speak pretty” for the cameras. Legalizing Gay marriage is not a matter for the States, it’s Federal. At one time Slavery was considered a “State issue.” Then came along an old, white, Republican President named Lincoln, who not only recognized slavery as Unconstitutional, he went as far as war to set things right. You would think a bi-racial President would take that example of Leadership to heart.

    • “You would think a bi-racial President would take that example of Leadership to heart.”

      You had me until that (quoted above) bullshit. I would seriously tread carefully trying to pull those “comparisons.”

  40. “you would think a bi-racial President would take that example of Leadership to heart.”

    whoa, slow that roll. how about “you’d think anyone that was president…” instead of trying to make it seem like because he’s biracial the slavery thing is on his brain and of course Lincoln is his favorite president and the one he should look up to most or something. and maybe that’s not what you were getting at but still…
    s/n: everything else you wrote was pretty awesome.

Comments are closed.