FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: Which Hill Will You Absolutely Insufferably Die On?

Friends, countryqueers, please lend me your ears.

I am on a mood stabilizer that is working and I feel U N S T O P P A B L E! Which is great in one respect but could mean trouble in another. What do I mean? I mean this: now that I feel stable in my emotions, clarity, and all that (I’m guessing) neurotypical goodness, I am more stubborn than ever – in my community we call it hardheaded, which…leads to a soft behind, so not a good thing to be. Here is a short and incomplete list of things I have been ridiculously stubborn about in the past:

  • my meds
  • identifying as undateable (this isn’t a pitiful thing! the whole concept of dating confuses me, like let’s get married or what’s the point?)
  • that I did put the dishes away
  • that that is the actress who played a small part in that one show and I’ve got IMBD up already to prove it to you
  • refusing to let go of my anger towards people who even think about insulting the people I care about
  • Miracle Whip is not a condiment and shouldn’t be anywhere near food
  • At least 67.4% of the girls in my high school class are some kind of not straight
  • We didn’t get nearly enough energy for Poussey Washington compared to the energy we got for Lexa
  • Kiwi has no business touching any other fruit ever

I cannot be moved on any of these subjects and I am proudly insufferable about them all.

What are you stubborn about? Like no matter what anyone says, you will dig your heels into the ground and fall over on your side, much like a cow, in the freezing snow before admitting that you were wrong about it? Which hill (multiple hills?) will you absolutely insufferably die on?

Of course you don’t have to talk about that! I wanna hear about your life, what’s new, what’s old, what’s blue, what’s cold – all of that and more! I’m all ears!


How To Post A Photo In The Comments:

Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…
code it in to your comment like so:

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out A.E.i’s step-by-step guide.

How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:

Find a video on YouTube, copy the URL, and paste the link on its own separate line in your comment. You no longer need to use the “embed” code!

Alexis Smithers (Lex Lee) is a black nonbinary person creating on the East Coast. They've volunteered for Winter Tangerine and currently are a Web Development Student at Bloc. A 2015 Pink Door Fellow & 2016 Lambda Literary Emerging Writer, you can find more of their work on their website and listen to them scream about poetry & other interests on Twitter.

Alexis has written 24 articles for us.

226 Comments

  1. I listen to the podcast Hysteria and they have a regular segment about the hills they’d die on and they get me good every time.

    I’m stubborn about stupid things like, The Little Mermaid does not have a happy ending, Maya St. Germain is alive, and that shallots and scallions are just lying onions and MUST BE STOPPED.

    • MAYA IS ALIVE Like I fell off the PLL boat around the time Paige and Emily got together (cause I needed them to stay together I couldn’t take another break up for Emily honestly) and I still can’t believe I haven’t seen an AS title going MAYA ST. GERMAIN IS ALIVE!!!!!!!! because that scene in the photbooth??? is all I care about. Like I watched that scene at least five times on the same night and this was before we had rewinding so I had to find one room where no one would bother me (ON A SCHOOL NIGHT) and just keep watching the repeat episodes like every hour and then three and five hours later the whole point of this is Maya is alive and well and I can’t wait for her to come home.

    • “shallots and scallions are just lying onions and MUST BE STOPPED”: I love you.

      Is this a deep-seated aversion, or merely shallot? If an onion lies but does it in rhyme, is it a rapscallion? Thank you and goodnight!

  2. Hmm…I should probably not be allowed to answer a question like this. I am famous for All of the Stubbornness. I shall restrict myself to one, and only one, hill I will absolutely insufferably die on.

    There is an objective, external reality that exists independent of anyone’s perception of it or feelings about it. We may all disagree about the nature of that reality, but it is there, and if every human being ceased to be in the next five minutes it would still be there. Four billion years of Earth’s history tells me so. We ignore this truth at our mortal and cosmic peril.

    • I was not prepared for it to get this deep this quick but I see you and also this is a mood

      “We ignore this truth at our moral and cosmic peril.” I’m just gonna be quoting you saying that to people all weekend

      “How are you doing?”
      “Pretty okay I guess.”
      “Just okay? You should cheer up!”
      “You and I disagree about the nature of this reality but it is here.”
      “Wait, what–”
      “–We ignore this truth at our mortal and cosmic peril.”

      😀

  3. I am of the firm opinion you should not name your children shortened versions of names. Give them the full name and use the nickname! My in-laws named their son Jake and I still think it should be Jacob.

      • Ok but we almost just did this. It’s really common in my family and we had our reasons. Went with a different name for our baby and honestly I prefer the middle name for her and I’ve considered just introducing her as such. It’s ok, you can judge

    • Can we also please cancel names that are permanent nicknames? Like my name, and Stacy, and I dunno Mimi, and there must be others. I want a chance to have a professional-sounding name and a casual-sounding name, like the Elizabeths and the Katherines and the Sandras and the Susans and the Andreas and the Margarets and the Danielles of the world get.

      Hmmm, I guess Sarah is a perma-serious name. There’s no common nickname for Sarah.

    • I totally agree. My children have overly fancy names (30 letters each, in total!) giving them plenty of choice on nicknames if they so wish. Marianne likes to be called Mimi, and Emmeline likes Emmy, but they have their “Sunday” names for when they want to be taken seriously (and their full names for when they are in trouble…)

  4. The Harry Potter Epilogue is terrible and shouldn’t be considered canon and I can give an itemized list and individualized rant about every single thing that is wrong with it, beginning with the general compulsive heterosexuality through the things wrong with each specific relationship and everyone’s career choices and the name “Albus Severus” and the lies it tells about everything working out without ever dealing with the deep institutional problems that made everything so bad in the first.

    • big +1 on this. same for any epilogue that throws compulsory babies ever after instead of therapy ever after at traumatized PTSD survivors, except maybe the hunger games because though i’ll die on the hill that she’s acearo-spectrum, SPOILER, katniss has always been family-centric and the exponential death in the books probably does need the hopeful repopulating-the-world-better-this-time-around moral. but none of that tragic annie cresta raising the baby after the unnecessarily dead husband crap. and definitely no harry potter. or pretty little liars. or a million other YA books and tv with flash-forwards. babies screaming and crying for hours can trigger panic episodes, dissociation can mean you didn’t realize the infant was suffocating or choking, ffs.

      the lack of addressing the institutional problems in harry potter instead of playing the welp we got him it’s all good now card is like… 97.3% of the reason i can’t enjoy that story.

      • Thanks to a long-ago AS thing about everyone’s favorite fanfiction, I found a really good remedy to these issues. It was quite long but at least when I read it it appeared to have been abandoned before its conclusion. Sigh. https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1994264/Vera-Rozalsky the “Amends, or Truth and Reconciliation” story (a lot of the others on that page are good too). Been a couple years since I read it but I remember thinking “this is a better job of writing what that world must have been like than the original!”

      • let me tell you how that explanation of hunger games has just changed EVERYTHING for me OF COURSE SHE’S ARO/ACE HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS OF COURSE OF COURSE now I gotta go find fic for it thank youuu

    • YOU ARE 500% CORRECT like. if I was Harry after all that trauma I’d magic myself into a therapy office I could just live in for four years. AND THE COMPLUSORY HETEROSEXUALITY YOU’RE RIGHT I cannot believe that at least half of them didn’t end up in gay relationships (if there must be a relationship at all!)

  5. I have a lot of strong opinions about TV. Duh. I’m here, aren’t I? But the hill I will die on is this:

    Luke is better than Christopher in every conceivable way, and he and Lorelai belong together.

    No one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. Come at me. I have receipts.

      • Luke is NOT a *total* sweetheart. The whole April thing was a mess– but I squarely blame Daniel Palladino (for whatever reason).

        Christopher is decent looking and I get the charm of the highschool sweetheart/father of your child dynamic and I’m a sucker for a love triangle, SOOOoooOO I don’t *hate* him. BUT it was absolutely correct that Lor did not end up with him.

    • Question, @arvan12: are there actually people in the world who believe otherwise?

      I mean, I know that Jess/Dean/Logan provokes a serious debate within the fandom but I’d just assumed it was universally accepted that Christopher was trash.

      • @pecola You would be surprised!

        One of my best friends – who is a biracial, bisexual, radical feminist human rights lawyer – is a HUGE Christopher fan. It makes no sense to me! We’ve argued about it a few times, to the point where we now can’t even talk about the show together. And her arguments are ridiculous! She’s actually said things like “Chris understands her better because he comes from the same background” and “Chris is her intellectual equal” and “Chris has loved her longer” and “Lorelai would have been good for Chris, would have made him a better man”! (those are all direct quotes FYI). They’re all dumb arguments to begin with, but I think I find them even more insane because of WHO they’re coming from. All her arguments are weirdly classist and anti-feminist and it literally makes no sense.

  6. Saying “8 a.m. in the morning” is redundant and absurd and I will not allow it.

    Saying “give it to [Name] or myself” is improper use of the reflexive pronoun and makes me crazy.

    Your second cousin is someone you share a great-grandparent with. Your first cousin once removed it the child or parent of your cousin (or the cousin of your parent).

    Seltzer/soda water/sparkling water is terrible.

  7. If you ask my parents they’d probably tell you I am stubborn about multiple things. I think I am stubborn about my health. Like I prefer not to see a doctor when sick because I don’t want to deal with being gendered or waiting rooms. The only hill I will probably(or even want to) die on is the hills I go hiking. Maybe I am hiking to save the hill from being destroyed or deforested?

    How is everyone’s week going? Mines has been busy & particularly good. I spent a good portion of my Sunday just out and about. Went to a few different pawn shops just to get a fair deal on my bad camera & bought a replacement(one gen newer) off craigslist, thankfully from someone who takes care of his stuff. I also bought wine and blonde ale that was called Killer Bees and was told was named after the Wu-Tang Clan for Wednesday night. Rest of the week was good too.

    Wednesday went to the Hollywood Bowl to see Common and Queen Latifah perform. Went with my bff(in something with) as we are both fans, well she’s the super-mega fan, of the only Queen that matters, Latifah. I wore shiny lipstick, showed up with a rose, and did my best to make it a night to remember, which I think I did. The bad, Common is real whack live because he’s fucking pro-life(surprise to both of us), ewww. I’m only familiar(fan) with(of) his stuff post 1999, but in the 90s he wrote a song(which Lauryn Hill sings the hook on the album, she wasn’t there) about how the lady he was dating at the time had an abortion & he regrets that(wasn’t pointed at her, just the fact the abortion happened). Sorry, he just lost a fan. Queen Latifah on the other hand just owned the night with her rapping, singing(Chicago, and Hair Spray tunes), & even did a portion of the Living Single Theme(on the 25th anniversary that night, thank you Laneia & AAA for linking that article). She even had Mc Lyte(great bonus) on stage singing Ladies First with her. Just close to perfect of a show. The wine and beer was good choice too.

    Not sure what my weekend plans are, but possibly going to do karaoke Saturday. Sunday may go to a proud festival or maybe be on a hill somewhere hearing the sounds of nature. Will see what happens.

    We were sitting center kind of near the middle; closest I was able to zoom in.

    Thank you for viewing and reading my post. Have a positive weekend!

    • YOU GOT TO SEE QUEEN LATIFAH AND MC LYTE AND QUEEN SANG PART OF THE LIVING SINGLE THEME SONG THIS IS THE DREAM I’M SO GLAD YOU GOT TO GO

      i had no idea about that w common and honestly the way he’s been the past couple of years actually makes it less surprising i used to eff w him heavy in high school though so this is disappointing

      i hope you have a wonderful weekend! thank you for sharing!!

      • Thank you. I told a few people that Common is pro-life and all were like kind of surprising as he seems on the ball on this situations. The Queen really just made up for his mess with everything. Plus, Mc Lyte coming on stage was a delightful surprise.

    • @needlesandpin @asmithers Far be it for me to talk to defend Common but I don’t think he’s actually pro-life…or if he was, he’s certainly not anymore: he performed at a benefit concert for Planned Parenthood just before the Women’s March in DC. He also brought Cecile Richards, former president of Planned Parenthood, up on stage at the Oscars when he preformed with Andra Day.

      That said, Common is a terrible actor and people need to quit putting him in movies.

      • I tolerated his acting, mostly because I liked his songs but, now, yeah he needs to quit acting(and making MS commercials that doesn’t include Ellen Page). It seems like the Queen Latifah fans who were at the show weren’t a fan of him either(with one calling him hot with terrible personality).

        I just googled the song and one link was to a Christian conservative site, that applauded his stance of being pro-life, and then made one of their typical and awful comparisons(which as a Jewish trans woman I am very familiar with their comparisons). Must have missed that link. If his views changed it’s not seen live as he still singing that song without adding an addendum Saying his views change. In fact, if I remember correctly before the song he was talking about his kids and how he misses one of them(?). To me, he comes off as a hypocritical.

  8. I am so stubborn, but I don’t really share my stubbornness with others. I’m just an internal, stubborn person. Mental health is a prominent example. I’m very old school about mental health treatment because it’s what worked for me (and my parents are both in the field, and they’re very adamant about it). I had really severe panic attacks/panic disorder and depression and agoraphobia, but between psychoanalysis and medication, I don’t have panic attacks anymore. I know CBT is what’s popular these days, but I really think I was born in the wrong decade, because I totally should be of those women in the early 1970s who talks openly about her analyst. I need to take a deep breath because YOU DO YOU, and psychoanalysis and meds work for me, but maybe meditation and CBT or DBT work for someone else.

    I’m actually working on a mental health project and can use help from you beautiful Straddlers…

    I am producing a concert in NYC of brand new songs written by musical theatre writers, inspired by true stories of those living with mental illness. I’m conducting online interviews for stories to get turned into songs.
    If you’re interested, please fill out the form: https://goo.gl/forms/eiOnc2TpcF7BbV553
    It’s completely anonymous, and you don’t have to actually have an in-person interview if you don’t want. You’re more than welcome to just fill out the form.
    I greatly appreciate your help.
    Thank you!

  9. I am known for my willingness to die on many insignificant molehills, including but not limited to:
    Snape/Lily was very creepy and not at all romantic, all of Rory Gilmore’s boyfriends were terrible, and Amy Adams should have won an Oscar for Arrival.

    • Seriously, right? Dude, she was not in love with you, MOVE ON, and why on earth does “I wanted her several decades ago and she was not in love with me” translate to “therefore I have a right to be an asshole bully to her traumatized orphan son”? I mean what? Mutter mutter toxic masculinity entitlement bullshit mutter mutter.

      The short story Arrival was based on is my all-time favorite short story ever (worth reading even if you already saw the movie – no shade to the movie, I liked it) and its author, Ted Chiang, has written a lot of other excellent short stories too.

  10. ok here’s mine: musicals suck. nearly all of them. yes, even your fave. no, not hamilton, that transcends, obviously.

    it’s just weird to be an adult watching an absorbing play when all of a sudden people start belting out these songs that highlight a nice subtle plot moment with some REALLY OBVIOUS lyrics that sledgehammer that subtle plot point into the center of your forehead forever.

  11. I hate “little free libraries”. I think most of them are poorly curated drop off sites for books no one wants and they let privileged people think they’re doing something good for society when, in reality, the neighborhoods that need access to quality reading materials are far less likely to ever see a little free library pop up.

  12. Hi, uhm, veering ever so slightly off topic, but I have a sex question, well,more like a link request.
    I’m off on vacation time at the moment, and I’ve chosen to reconnect with people, take care of things,etc. in the next few weeks.
    This has led to reaching out to the refugee girl I’ve been mentoring, and we’ve met for drinks yesterday.
    She is getting sexually active and had all of these questions for me.
    What I got was that she finds penetration uncomfortable and only enjoys clitoral stimulation and gets shamed for that amongst presumably her (female) partner and lesbian friends.
    Now, since we were sitting outside at a bar and an old friend whom I hadn’t seen in years sat down at the table with us, I couldn’t really explain about what a clitoris is and that a lot of women don’t get off on penetration, etc.
    I promised her a link at parting though, because I felt that I had read something on here, but the roundtable that I found was a+ content and the epic and wonderful piece Heather had written once was focused on endometriosis.
    So my request would be for a link, if any of you have one handy? (English is fine!)
    Googling that stuff is a bit dicey.
    If you should have a link, please keep in mind that she is from a country with about zero sex ed.
    We were talking about “on top” and “inside” because vocabulary for female parts is an unexpected feminist achievement that is not commonplace everywhere.
    Who knew?
    Anyway, I’d be ever so grateful.
    So,so grateful.
    Hopefully that way I won’t have to endure any more, what I like and what I enjoy questions.
    At this point I’m probably going to win a prize for quantity and quality of overly personal questions on my absolutely non existent sex life.

  13. Some medical and mental health practitioners really really suck! And telling someone “Just go see a doctor” or “Just go see a therapist” is not solving the problem because they still have to go through the process of trial and error and looking for recommendations until they find one who will actually listen! And it’s even more difficult when they have a very limited budget so can not afford to keep getting second opinions.

  14. as a black jewish genderqueer human the hills I will always die on are
    1. the way white society has consistently pit black people and jewish people against eachother in city communities.
    2. the way many of my queer activist circles delegitimize the fears, dangers, and stigmatism of jews in queer circles. Not thinking im jewish people will say things about some friends of mine “oh she wants to be oppressed so bad” or whatever. yo. like as a biracial queer lemme tell you some things about intergenerational trauma and continued vitriol against jews in both the left and right communities.

    3. let me live my life. im black. im jewish. im genderqueer. im me. and i cant change any of those things and it doesnt make me any less anything

    4. antizionism is often thinly veiled antisemitism in my activist and queer circles. i constantly get into arguments with people who have no idea about OG black israelis and brown israelis and that most jews even my ashkenazi cousins can trace their lineage directly to the middle east/north africa. NO ONE RECOGNizES THIS

    5. zoe kravitz and tracy ellis ross are my biracial jewish queens and will forever stan

    6. kehlani and hayley kiyoko are baes

    • As an trans woman-ish West Asian Jew, I very much agree with #1 & 4, & very much understand #2.

      I think my earliest memories of famous bi-racial Jewish woman was Lisa Bonet in the 90s., then Tracy in Girlfriends. I was searching Persia White to see if she’s part Iranian(she’s not), found that Tracy is half-Jewish. Really wish Black-ish brought this up, especially since her brother on the show is Daveed Diggs another bi-racial Jewish actor.

      • So I grew up never using them, and my husband grew up using them, so when we moved in together he had a box and I was like sure whatever. When we got near the end of the box I was like OK before we buy more we are sciencing this! So I did four loads of laundry, using dryer sheets on two of them and not telling him which was which. His guesses were one true positive, one false positive, one true negative, one false negative. So we said the heck with it and haven’t used dryer sheets in the decade+ since.

        tl;dr Dryer sheets are a conspiracy of the capitalist heteropatriarchy and MUST BE STOPPED. Oooh I think I just found my hill!

        • I uh have a lot of metal in my clothes, when I forget the dryer sheet in load that aren’t just socks and undies I get shocked.

          Maybe your laundry is just more sensible than mine? xD

    • Also, whatever the hell they use to make things not staticky can cause migraines in sensitive people, so there’s that. I tried using them for the first time this winter and it ended very poorly.

    • “No cat is play-attacking you, my friends. There is only attacking and not-attacking, and I am consistently amazed at the number of people who think it’s cute to be pounced on in the dark, in your own home, by something with razor-wire claws.”

      ……………..ive got to rethink some things

  15. Severus Snape did not deserve a redemption arc. Further, he’s an incel. Finally, had the books been set in a magical version of the world we currently live in, he would’ve for sure magically tapped into Lily’s phone and leaked her nudes on a reddit thread to spite her.

    My mind cannot be changed.

  16. GET YOUR FLU SHOT.

    It’s not for you. It’s for babies, old people, anyone going through chemo, anyone immunosuppressed.

    I get so worked up about this bc it feels like the epitome of “This is why we can’t have nice things.” Obviously there are a few very real reasons why some people can’t get the flu shot, but it’s stunning to me how some perfectly healthy people skip it out of laziness or willful ignorance. Like, other people die because of this very preventable thing! But it doesn’t have to be that way!

    It’s almost September, get your flu shot!

  17. I really think it’s a bad idea mixing romance and work place BUT I DO IT EVERYTIME I CAN AND SHOULDNT.
    I can’t help that I need a lot of contact to feel attracted to someone.
    Also, there this cute nurse that I, really low key, was getting vibes and yesterday found out she’s queer! And she keeps asking me to help her at work, finding topics to talk about, like, I’m trying not to fuck this time (no I’m not ??‍♀️).

  18. Bathroom mirror selfies. I don’t get it. Like,why is it so hard to flip the camera over, put on the timer and take a damn picture? All of them always look the same! Blah! Also, I hate the term “bratty bottom”. I mean, I get the descriptor for flirting purposes but really? /old man yells at cloud

  19. I kind of need some affirmation. My activism includes organizing events for fun and healing, and I am currently creating a zine for femmes which drops the Autumn Equinox. I feel like this is my activism. Creating spaces where we don’t have to constantly rehash trauma, but a space where we can enjoy each other as POC. But sometimes I feel invalid, like activism is standing in the streets yelling. I recently held an after Pride meditation and people where crying and healing. Like I’ve never seen people share like that. So I know that is a form of activism healing, but sometimes I get jelly of the folk who stand in the streets.

    • This is most definitely activism and we need this. I think I’ve been like saying this randomly all year but I love that Madame Ghandi said, “I wonder what our stories would look like if they were rooted in our nuance and not out oppression.” and it’s something I’m trying to answer and I believe you’re doing the hard work of answering it too. I’m always jealous of the people who stand in the streets, but Alyssa said something at camp that really stuck with me, (not an exact quote) “You can’t force yourself to do things that will hurt you more just to help others. You can help in a specific way and it’s okay that it doesn’t look like the ways others are helping.” This is important work you’re doing and it is activism. We can’ all stand yelling in the streets and we’re not supposed to. We’re supposed to help our communities and if we all do the same thing we’re not really doing our best to help one another because we’re not all the same.

      You’re doing great work. I’d love to support if I can (do you have a link I can boost?) and I hope you keep going.

  20. “We didn’t get nearly enough energy for Poussey Washington compared to the energy we got for Lexa”

    YES. Poussey’s death was WAY WORSE IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE and made Lexa’s death look forgivable by comparison. The 100 probably would have kept Lexa if they’d been far-sighted enough to sign her from the beginning for a longer contract. They did a poor job of managing that situation, but OITNB had no such dilemma. They terminated the job of a black lesbian actor who didn’t want to leave their show. They modelled her death scene on the murder of a real person, invoking the real trauma of violence against black people for the sake of television drama and teaching white audiences a lesson.

    When it comes to disasters in representation, are we willing to hold progressive white women accountable to the same standard we hold for the clueless producers of teen shows on the CW?

    • I want to love this comment a billion times I can’t even properly articulate all my feelings about this because it took me like months to get out of my anger last time but yes yes yes I get Bury Your Gays is traumatic in its own right but adding trauma that we (as black people) still aren’t surviving yet??? just to serve as a shitty plot point? i don’t even have the words for how angry and disgusted i am like they don’t even let us grieve before they turn it into “entertainment” / it’s like theres some shitty game where everyone has to show how much they don’t believe black people are actually people and they need to see who can win and we don’t want to play this game

  21. Dogs are good, but cats are better.
    “The Silmarillion” is superior to “The Lord of the Rings” and “The Hobbit”.
    Related to the above: Dwarves are better than Elves.
    Morning People are just an urban legend.
    Cockroaches are essentially elder gods.

    • Cockroaches are essentially elder gods honestly makes so much sense, I just keep thinking of that episode of the Powerpuff Girls where th cockroaches took over the world and the only thing that could stop them was a big ass jar so this definitely checks out

  22. Respect for people’s boundaries.
    Children are counted in this because they ARE people, small, annoying half baked people that don’t 100% know how to act but bellowing commands at them and treating them like property isn’t going to teach them how to act right or empower them to act for themselves when they’re grown.

    Wannabe nazis and white nationalists don’t deserve respect as being one of those things has announced to the world they disrespect others so much they want them dead just for existing.
    That is not a thing that can be tolerated, protecting hate speech is not protecting free speech.
    Death threats aren’t free speech.

    You can’t separate the slavery issue from the Confederacy or the Civil War. Bang on about states’ right all you want mom cause guess what they believed slavery was their right. It’s right there in their constitution.

    I don’t have any small hills?

    I think paisley is ugly, baked fruit tastes like an abomination, Bangel’s my NOTP, good bagels don’t need any condiments, yellow cheese is gross, feta is the best cheese, bacon is gross, cold cuts are an abomination, beer makes me think of tourist pee and just tastes rank, leafy greens taste like grass, cabbage is the grossest veggie, but those are personal quirks not hills I’d die on because different strokes for different folks. I know my sense of physical taste is more sensitive than the common person and I respect the differences and boundaries of others too much to impose my tastes on others.

    • “Respect for people’s boundaries” especially including children in this – exactly! Wow I could say so much but I will just toss out a couple kids’ books for any fellow parents of young ones: Lulu and the Brontosaurus and Lulu Walks the Dogs, both by Judith Viorst. I read them with my 7-year-old; they’re fun and we got to talk about characters trying to control each other vs. showing respect, how friendship didn’t work until they got from ‘control’ to ‘respect,’ how yes it’s good to be nice and polite and kind and sweet and all that but sometimes that strategy has its limits and then you are indeed justified in standing up for yourself even when that means doing things that other people might not approve of.

      You can have great conversations with kids if you listen to them like, you know, people.

      Also can I just put in a plug for a very strict “tickling ONLY with consent” rule? I hated getting tickled as a little kid because I couldn’t get away, I knew I’d be in trouble if I actually kicked or bit or anything, and “no! stop!” wasn’t listened to. My daughter, on the other hand, asks us to tickle her multiple times a day, because she knows she can set limits on what we are allowed to tickle and we will stop as soon as she says. We all have way more fun plus it’s building her foundations for being able to ask for what she wants and expect “no” to be respected later.

  23. Not every intelligent fictional character belongs in Ravenclaw house, especially Susan Pevensie who seems to be sorted there on the strength of film lines about logic and the urge to have one Pevensie kid in each house, and Quinn Fabray who only values knowledge as far as not suffering fools but is not actually motivated by its pursuit.

    Yesterday was my pet charity’s street appeal for which I organized cosplayer volunteer signups and though I’ve participated before, being part of the process this time made me so much prouder of my fellow nerds’ generosity with their time. ♥

  24. Just thought of something insufferable!

    It’s pa-caun not PEE-can

    New Orleans not New OrLEANZ

    And I don’t care about some rando midwestern town cutesy butchered version of how to say La Croix, it’s French and there is a correct way to pronounce and a wrong way.
    Is something to do with being part of an ethic minority whose language is dying why I’m stupidly salty and unusually rude about how to say a phrase? Yes, yes it is.

    • Thank you!! I know it’s “supposed” to be pronounced La-croy because it’s named after some mispronounced river, but IDGAF about your Wisconsin landmarks, the can says La Croix. It’s French. ARGHH!!

  25. A small round bread bun is called a barm. Fight me, but I have almost all of North West England on my side.

    Also, put a butter pie inside a barm with some Lancashire cheese. Amazing.

  26. this is one of my favorite friday open threads ever

    my current hill to die on is that all those DNA testing companies like 23 and me are horrifying and i cannot believe so many smart cynical humans i know and love are just WILLINGLY giving their DNA away YIKES PLZ STOP SAVE YOURSELF

    ok that’s all

    oh no wait, grease 2 is better than grease

    ok now that’s rly all xoxo

Contribute to the conversation...

You must be logged in to post a comment.