FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: I Just Ate Nachos, What The F*ck Are You Doing?

Hello, Those Who Straddle! (And those who don’t, too, you do you.) It’s been a whole week since our last communal descent into madness and thus it’s time for this week’s Friday Open Thread! Did you know that there’s a Friday Open Thread every Friday, just like newspapers used to only be in color on Sunday? This is better, though, because it doesn’t get ink on your hands.

Geneva’s still in town this week, and after a week of trying to eat as much amazing and unique and undiscovered food as possible (typical), we settled on doing what we do best: nachos.


I’ve eaten nachos with Geneva multiple times every time we’ve ever visited one another. Ranked with pizza, it’s one of our many shared favorite foods, namely because it has all the same key ingredients: cheese, other cheese, a bread-like substance, and something with tomato. This trip, though, marks our first attempts to make nachos on our own rather than eat them with margaritas on the side or as bar food.

Here’s the recipe we used:

Carmen and Geneva’s Twenty Dollar Nachos*


*Because we bought the ingredients with a twenty-dollar bill we found on the ground. Net Worth: $1…billion…dollars.

You’ll Need:

  • 1 Large Bag Tortilla Chips
  • 2 Avocados, Diced
  • 1 Scallion, Chopped
  • Plentiful Shredded Cheese
  • 1 Can Beans

Optional But Were Amazing Last Time When We Didn’t Take Pics:

  • Salsa
  • Sour Cream
  • Red Peppers
  • Ground Beef or Fake Ground Beef

This Is How We Do It:

  • Put the oven at 400.
  • Build your nachos inside of an oven-safe serving platter, layer-by-layer. The bottom layer should cover the bottom of the platter and be covered in cheese, and each layer should be slightly smaller to create “petals,” like a flower. Because it looks nice that way. On each layer, put some of all of the ingredients. Be generous!
  • Put the platter in the oven on the top rack for 10-15 minutes. Keep a watchful eye.
  • Serve w/ Salsa and Sour Cream.

Do you like nachos? Did I do something wrong with my nachos. You can yell at me about it, or you could comment on this post right here and tell me what you were eating while I was pouring Salsa all over my food. Or maybe you’re not eating dinner, and you wanna post about your pet, or your girlfriend, or your job, or school, or your parents, or the neighbor in your building who has really loud sex all the time, or about how you just can’t bring yourself to stop watching Frasier, or why sometimes CMYK documents still print in the wrong color. DO IT! Nothing’s off-limits, nothing’s off-topic, and there’s room in here for all of you! That’s the beauty of an open thread. It’s like a party that never gets busted by the cops. Ain’t no party like an open thread party ’cause an open thread party’s comments DON’T STOP!

As usual, I’m offering photos of my own dog as incentive for y’all to post photos, too. DON’T MISS OUT.


Let’s do this thing, you guys. TALK TO ME LIKE LOVERS DO. TELL ME SOMETHIN’ GOOD. And, most importantly, leave no nacho unturned.

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Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 920 articles for us.


  1. Oh no, first comment.
    I’ll keep it simple: Jalapeños! Jalapeños until your mouth burns and you kiss with lips that are numb and fiery at the same time and then you go back to eating because it is so damn delicious.

  2. OMG these nachos look amazing. I like to put sliced black olives and refried beans in my nachos. :)
    Right now, Í’m in my pajamas listening to Ciudad Cola, an LGBT Chilean radio show streaming online. I just found out I got accepted to grad school in Chicago yesterday with an assistantship, and I’m freaking out and worried about if I’m good enough for it. Oh the feelings.

    • Imposter Syndrome is a cruel bitch.

      Congrats on grad school. You’re totally good enough, otherwise they wouldn’t have invited you to be a part of their program AND PAY YOU AT THE SAME TIME. Kudos to you, my friend. You are a winner.

      • Thank you so much, Alyssa!!! It’s an MA program in Spanish Literature, and I lived in Spain for 2 years, but I still have a lot of grammatical errors sometimes in my writing, so I wonder if they expect perfection. :)

    • CONGRATULATIONS! What are you going to grad school for? Also Chicago is an awesome city and I moved there for grad school so if you want to talk about the “holy shit I’m moving to Chicago for grad school” feels I can nod my head sagely and say “I know how you feel.”

      • Thanks! I’ll be studying for an MA in Spanish at Loyola. I went to DePaul for undergrad, so I lived in Chicago for a few years before. I’m more ‘holy shit i’m going to grad school’ than ‘holy shit i’m moving to Chicago’. What were you in grad school for?

        • Technically I’m still in grad school I suppose, though not currently living in Chicago. I’m getting my doctorate in clinical psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. I’m on internship at the moment so I got to skip winter by living in New Mexico instead. Hopefully we’ll be heading back to Chicago once my internship is done. Congrats again on getting in to grad school!

  3. Friday is my day off work, so I went for two walks on the beach and also managed to bake some blondies which turned out to be edible. (I am inept in the kitchen, so feel this is an achievement.)

    I don’t think I’ve ever eaten nachos, but now I want some.

  4. No nachos for me but I am making vegan tacos for dinner later.

    Also my best friend is coming to visit me (we haven’t seen each other in person in over a YEAR! A FUCKING YEAR Y’ALL) and so basically my weekend is going to involve lots of tequila and hugging.

  5. And here I was wondering what I should make for dinner. Nachos, duh. Because “cheese, other cheese, a bread-like substance, and something with tomato” are the key ingredients of pretty much everything I like to eat. Also garlic.

    Was the “This Is How We Do It” heading supposed to be a Montell Jordan reference/earworm? Because I immediately followed it with “it’s Friday night and I feel alright…” and now that song is stuck in my head.

  6. I just spent my lunchbreak buying a bigass bag of cat food and other important things.

    Now I’m back in the office, all alone and I really don’t want to continue to work. Plus I’m hungover. I believe a 5 hour nap is in order.

  7. What cheese do you suggest?

    I am at work at the moment, but later tonight I will be having family that I like over, drinking good wine, and Middle Eastern foods. I will be also hiding my hurt feelings at the fact my sister doesn’t get the need to be genderqueer. But, yay good wine and snacks.

  8. I’m skipping a Neon party at my German Language school to catch up on my Jon Stewart for the week and now I’m pretty sure I’m gonna spend the rest of my night/weekend looking for the perfect entry to the #mcconneling contest.

    ALSO THOUGH I MISS REAL NACHOS/MEXICAN FOOD SO MUCH. Come August I’ma head home to Michigan and kiss the ground of my favorite Mexican restaurant and sit myself down to eat Mexican food till I fall asleep and/or they kick me out.

  9. I would like to take this opportunity to humbly request that Autostraddle devote a future thread to posting members’ photos of their Alternative Lifestyle Haircuts for us to peruse and admire.

    This occurred to me when I recently had an appointment to acquire one of my own but couldn’t find any good photos anywhere of what I wanted. I do realize that you have posted various ALH photo galleries in the past, but these are usually all glossy and polished and don’t necessarily reflect how haircuts will look on regular people with problem hair and minimal hairstyling time allotment.

  10. I just got to my parents’ house for spring break and found out that two of my mom’s sheep had lambs this morning! So obviously, I took selfies with them. Also I really want to make nachos now because they are pretty much the perfect food and I’m from Wisconsin so I really appreciate cheese.

  11. I am currently still at work getting ready to go co-facilitate an LGBTQ support/discussion group that my supervisor and I started on the campus I work at. (I’m a therapist.) Then I will head to Starbucks to hang out with my lovely girlfriend for awhile while she works and then home to cuddle our adorable puppy. During the cuddling I will likely be responding to all of the comments on this lovely open thread because I’m anticipating being bored at home by myself until said girlfriend gets off work. Here is a picture of the adorable puppy since I’m pretty sure that’s the most important bit anyway.

  12. Hi Straddlers! I am new and this is my first ever comment.

    Just wanted to say that it’s nice to find a community of queer ladies, I don’t know a single other person in my life (other than my partner) who I am comfortable talking about queer stuff with and that’s too bad!

    I hope you all have great Friday nights (it’s 8.45 here and I am winding down). Please accept this picture of a dog in a pride sweater.

  13. We got our new fridge today, so we did some Spring Cleaning and I finally got to use the new vacuum I got (for free! Yay RBC Reward Points!) that I got this week and happy happy happy.

    I’m playing Elder Scrolls Online Beta! If you’re playing, I’m a Khajiit for the Adlmeri Dominion (don’t judge me). My username is paper0flowers COME FIND ME AND LET’S BE FRIEEEEEEENDS

      • It’s not looking good. So far what I have is both sad and very specific to me:

        1) Make more internet friends.

        2) Stop moving to a new city every year.

        3) Stop choosing best friends who are married and busy. Friends are not a priority in their lives.

        4) Be less broke so I can actually go out in public. This is very unlikely happen on a grad school fellowship.

        5) Build a robot that talks about stargate and gives hugs.

        I think the robot option is winning.

  14. Well it’s Friday during Lent so I’m going to a Fish Fry! After that, I’m hoping that my cuddle buddy doesn’t flake on me because I’m in dire need of a good cuddle + movie.

    Obligatory pic of my cat, Oliver:

    • Want to hear my Hooters story? TOO BAD HERE IT IS ANYWAY. Group of us wanted to see the World Cup finals (me and 5 straight guys) so they chose Hooters, which is known for being a sports bar (sarcasm). Here’s what happened:
      1) I embarrassed myself by immediately letting my gaze fall into the gravity well vortex tractor beam of our waitress’s cleavage, which was epic. I still feel bad about this (because she noticed me looking and frowned), but learned a life lesson to mentally prepare myself to maintain eye contact / not drop my gaze before entering a cleavage-displaying environment.
      2) I witnessed how incredibly awkward and ridiculous my co-workers are when interacting with an attractive woman in a low-cut top. Hilarious. They were ready to propose.
      3) We tried the fried pickles. Not recommended.
      The end.

  15. I am just leaving my placement now, after hearing stories from the frontline workers about various past clients for an hour #socialworkproblems

    Heading to a queer grad students meet up, then out for beer & board games with my ex!

  16. Tonight I’m going to meet my local Roller Derby league for the first time. I never played it, and haven’t been on rollers for a long long time, what makes me a bit anxious. But I contacted one of the girls and she was super friendly! They’re called The Midwest Butchers so THAT must mean something.


      I get a little bit excited about it. I’m extra excited for you because I was supposed to be NSOing two scrimmages and going to Freshmeat this weekend but it all got cancelled because the Men’s World Cup is on :(

      Anyway have fun and I’m sure your league will be super lovely!

  17. everyone posting pics of their cute animal friends & their cute faces &

    all i’ve got is way too many books & 5 bottles of alcohol. WHERE CAN I HANG OUT WITH ANIMAL FRIENDS and cute people but um i mean that’s creepy right um i mean fORGET I SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THAT LET’S JUST STICK TO CUTE ANIMALS ohm y god

  18. It’s not nachos and it’s not today but guys I had meatball chilli and rice in a Taco basket last sunday… a Taco basket! Life changer. Friday is all but over for me. Have a great one…and seek out the Taco basket.

  19. The chick that was supposed to come by and check out my apartment for a summer sublet is a no show – not that I had high hopes for her, but I need a subletter like woah. I kept my pants on after work and everything while waiting, clearly homegirl wasn’t worth it.

  20. Putting on a plaid flannel (despite it being 70 degrees outside) to go to Trader Joe’s JUST INCASE the hot butch checker is there. Plaid flannel=cloak of femme visibility. Fingers crossed guys.

  21. I just watched the Veronica Mars movie high, and it was magical. Now I’m on a James Franco run and I’m going to watch This Is The End. I just love him. Has anyone else seen his his Thanksgiving Roast? What a legend.

  22. I had nachos yesterday and they were very good. I just finished taking a test for my sociology class and am now reblogging photos of adorable animals on tumblr. I would like to share some on this thread, but every time I try to attach photos or gifs (following the instructions) it just doesn’t work.

  23. I am unable to get Into bed as my dog is refusing to move to make space.

    I am also making my first EVER post here, and feeling ok after telling my friends I’m gay earlier today. And it was as every bit as scary as I thought.

  24. Holy crap – I was ALREADY planning to have dreamy nachos at a local pub that has vast microbrew selection and celebrate the start of my spring break (I work in a school) with my fian and some friends – and then this post happened. Autostraddle and Carmen – you do me so right.

    When I saw this post this afternoon at work (guys, counting down to the end of the day as an adult waiting for spring break is WAY harder than it was as a child) I pretty much started to drool, and then all I could think of was beer and nachos. So.

    Now I am counting down the minutes until I leave for the pub and enjoying the sh*t out of this post. I have no motivation (see, spring break, exhaustion, etc.) to do the imagur thing, or I would post photos of my cats.

  25. I just have to do a happy freakout for a minute. I am two for two on Tinder, despite the straddlers’ bad experiences with it in the article last week. I went out with two girls, and I’ve already had a second date/planned a third date with one of them. The other one we were meeting for Saturday lunch and liked each other so much that we spent the rest of the afternoon at a bar drinking mimosas and getting to know each other, and we planned dates (but sadly had to cancel them both because she got put on the graveyard shift at work for the next three weeks, so we’re going to pick it back up then and text in the meantime). My second date with the first girl was last night though and I’ve been grinning at work all day because she’s so awesome and sexy and funny and she’s a violinist and thinks I’m a great kisser.

    I’ve been rambling like a mofo in this comment, I know (forgive me, I’m still kind of a baby queer, and I’ve only been out a year or so!) so to make up for it, here is a picture of my dog battling her favorite nemesis, the garden hose sprayer attachment. I call this one Dogzilla.

  26. Ugh, I could use some nachos right about now.

    I am avoiding doing any sort of responsible thing and haven’t submitted any of the assignments due today. The prof knows though. I should not be worrying about any of it right now and need to get off this couch.

  27. I just finished my last midterm (Shakespeare! It was okay.) and I’m trying to decide if I should go to this party that the girl I have a really tragic crush on (she’s straight and has a boyfriend, but always tries to make out with me anyway?? but only when she’s drunk/we’re in public or at a party, which is weird) is throwing tonight, or stay home and watch movies and make macaroni and cheese.

    One thing – the party theme is to dress like one of your parents, so that would totally enable me to wear my best dad gear: a huge comfy sweater and jeans.

    Anyway, for now I’m drinking ginger peach green tea out of my new octopus (squid? unidentified cephalopod) mug!

  28. No nachos because I just had my left wisdom teeth out on Monday. My friend and I are, however, having a submission party tonight (not that kind of submission…probably), and there will be lots of yummy food I can’t eat. I will instead be having butternut squash soup. Livin’ on the edge up in here.

  29. I’m relaxing and debating what to do with the rest of the night. I’m mainly posting here to say how much I appreciate everything that goes on at AS. It has helped me start a new process of figuring out who I am and becoming comfortable with that. Also, this is Eddie the beagle. He is the best roommate I have ever had.

  30. I had a really good day at work (no temper tantrums from my students which is usually a daily occurrence) and I got off early! Now I’m at home and thinking about beer and nachos, but sadly because I don’t have any of the ingredients. Except cheese and beer. I guess I could just eat that.

  31. Omg speaking of nachos, buffalo chicken nachos are the best thing ever and I’m totally making some as soon as I get back from San Diego (where I’ve been laying on the beach all day and now we’re about to go get 75-cent beers) LIFE IS GOOD, Y’ALL

  32. I made nachos earlier in the week and it is one of my favourite dishes.

    One can 440g refried beans
    Two cans of (440g x 2) chopped tomatoes
    Two chopped onions
    10 garlic cloves
    2 capsicum chopped
    4 fresh tomatoes chopped
    2 tablespoons tomato paste
    300g mushrooms chopped
    if you want Old El Paso “fajita spice mix” or equivalent
    250g tofu chopped marinated overnight in 10 cloves garlic, smoked paprika, oil, lemon rind, soy sauce and lemon pepper
    Smoked paprika
    Lemon pepper
    Chillis if you like rock n roll
    Coriander, huge bunches
    Limes or lemons
    Corn chips/rice/naan bread/taco shells soft or hard

    First I put garlic and onions in skillet/wok on low heat and caramelise them til transparent, then add capsicum cooked til transparent, then mushrooms and cook til shrunken, then add the refried beans (Old El Paso refried beans looks like clay in a can but it can be redeemed by adding stuff to it), chopped tomatoes both canned and fresh, tomato paste, tofu, spice mix if you are using it, and cook on a slow simmer. Add lemon pepper, smoked paprika, chillis to taste. I normally simmer it for 30 minutes cause it allows me to get the rest of the shebang together.
    Get out your nacho chips/taco shells/rice/naan bread, and pour refried beans mix on top, steaming!! Next, take one step further to your imminent appointment with a cardiac doctor and add lots of cheese of your choice, added liberally all over. Would you like refried beans with your cheese?
    Next, slice up some lemons/limes/avocadoes whatever else fresh raw summer vege or winter vege you have and put them on top or in a side bowl, I prefer them around the side. Next, add many corianders.
    Bliss. Good with beers and friends.

  33. I just had oatmeal with blueberries for dinner and am getting spring break off to a rocking start by finishing up the case study that’s due at midnight tonight. Currently I am reviewing a (fictional, fortunately for them) 75-year-old’s heart failure medications. Almost there and then I get to have a glass of wine and go to bed…

  34. Let’s see…avoiding studying for two tests and finishing three projects that are either due this week or right after spring break, planning what I’m going to do in Chicago next weekend, and definitely avoiding having a talk I’m dreading with someone for whom I care about very much.
    Speaking of Chicago, is there anything exciting going on next weekend? I’m going to two shows and the Art Institute, but is there anything else that should be on my radar?

    • hmm… I’m not sure anything major is going on. But if you are looking for more art to see, go to the MCA, The Glass Curtain Gallery, and MoCP. And make sure you see the Christopher Wool exhibit at the Art Institute.

      • I am irrationally excited about the Christopher Wool exhibit. :) I’ll hopefully get a ticket to see Salome at The Right Brain Project (a friend from undergrad is a member of the ensemble) and am meeting up with a friend to see “Welcome to Night Vale” at the Athaenium (sp?) Theatre.

  35. I’m sitting backstage at work clearly paying REALLY close attention to the play (it’s okay, I don’t have any cues in Act 2, I’m not actually a slacker…err multitasker,..). I would love some nachos, my breakup is one week old tomorrow and now (after a week of having no appetite) I want to eat all the things. Any way to get nachos into a huge theater without anyone noticing?

  36. Super special secret trick to make your nachos taste like restaurant nachos….ready?Put a thin layer of enchilada sauce between the chips and the cheese. Not so much that it makes the chips soggy (although that can be fun for some fork eatin’ nachos). Then bake them as usual and viola! Mind blown.
    I build a fire pit tonight because the weather in Portland has been lovely.

  37. Oh, the fabulous Friday night! And for those who work retail, this is like your Monday because you know your ass works this entire weekend! So! Playing it cool. Kickin’ it at my mom’s, rollin’ a doobie and watching a bad movie. *whapah!

  38. I just walked home from school (only 50 something blocks). The weather is fabulous right now. I thought I’d ought to take advantage of that.

    I’m now contemplating dinner and drinking akvavit. I’m also contemplating stretching because my back hurts a lot.

    I’ve got a bunch of illustrations due next week and I want to get them done, so I’ll probably do that tonight, so I can go out tomorrow night and not feel guilty.

  39. I just finished a draft of my final essay for Queer Theory and sent it to this super cute girl in my editing group who I’m praying likes girls because I noticed she recently made an Autostraddle account, but all other signs point to suuupppperrrrr straight. And now I’m really hoping we get a chance to talk about edits in person or at least give her my number somehow because she’s way too hot for me to ever make the first move, and we’re both graduating in a week. **Exhale**

  40. I went to the Veronica Mars movie with an old friend from Bible camp (long story!).

    Now I am catching up on the internet and hoping that my cold meds don’t make me too hyper to sleep.

    This weekend I must be a Responsible Adult and do my taxes, revise a manuscript, and finish writing up the results section for another. *yawn*

  41. I’m on a bus headed to Boston from NYC. Bus was 2 hours late which forced us all to wait in the freezing cold on 34th and 12th. But it’s all good! Someone brought whiskey and I brought cookies so we just had a dance party in line. Cause that’s what you do with cookies and whiskey.

  42. My Friday has been pretty awesome b/c I got to see my sister and my niece and nephew who are adorable little children. (I am visiting from out of town and staying with them.) Unfortunately, I was also supposed to see a special someone tonight who feel asleep super early instead :-( hence just chilling here reading Autostraddle.

  43. i worked today (saturday) but one of my patients gave me a homemade red velvet cupcake! so nice! this never ever happens (like 0.02% of the time i have calculated, compared with a guestimate of 7% of people who walk in saying they hate me).
    sorry no photo because i scarfed it already

  44. I went out last night and hung out with the cute and funny girl I have a crush on. She spent most of the night gushng over a guy she later asked me to introduce her to.
    My gaydar is seriously taking the piss.
    I’m gonna spend the day eating :)

  45. The UK soap opera Hollyoaks has just become available on Hulu and I have been marathoning this like its nobody’s business. Does anyone else watch this show? I was excited that there’s a lesbian though she is never on. There is an awesome female cop named Sam Lomax who has a daughter (not gay) named Tegan. I should hate this show but dammit I can’t stop watching!

    • It’s so my brain junk food. I don’t know where you are in ut but at one point there were multiple lesbians…but sadly no more. Also the cops kids are all named after Doctor Who companions…super frickin nerdy.

  46. Friday open threads make my Saturday mornings more fun! Yesterday night I talked Swedish to a Finland Swedish girl and even though my Swedish is pretty decent, I have huge trouble with accents and especially with Finland Swedish so half of the time I was just nodding excitedly while not understanding what she said but it was awesome anyway.

  47. My girl and I decided to celebrate international pie day by going out and eating too much to actually order pie afterward. Then we went home and watched a terrible movie (If you haven’t seen Ender’s Game just… don’t. But the cuddling was nice and also the grumping loudly at the tv the whole time and getting yelled at for doing so.)

    Then I spent the rest of the night listening to her talk in her sleep. If you have never had a girlfriend who talks in her sleep you should get one it is the best entertainment ever ever. At one point she rolled over and said to me in a very serious tone “penis.” Just as I was beginning to worry — Oh god what if it means something? Is she missing something in her life? Am I not good enough? OH NO OH NO — She followed up by rolling over again and saying with solemn finality “data.”

    So there you have it. Penis data.

    I don’t know, but it made for the best ending to a very happy Friday for me. At least unless she reads this and I get in tons of trouble in the morning. >.>

  48. I unfortunately spent Pi(e) Day sick with a sore throat/chills, and it has since mutated to a cold that is slightly easier to live with. yay mucuous?

    On the positive side, my cats cuddled me extra last night, as though they sensed I needed it, and I also realized that after a year of being all celibate and sad, I think I’m maybe ready to date* again. Woohoo!

    *I’m a girl who likes to kiss boys, but I love this blog and the articles that come from it all the same. Can I still join the cyber treehouse?

  49. Right now I’m anxious for an admission decision from Barnard College which will be sometime in the next week. (There’s other schools I’m waiting for but my top choices are Ithaca and Barnard) I’ve also been on Spring Break mostly watching Netflix. I’m also picking out a One Act Play to direct for our school’s One Act Play festival!! So that’s exciting!!

  50. Is this open thread still going? I hope so.

    I am feeling a lot of really sad and heavy feelings today. So I am writing and writing and writing. It is not currently helping.

    But I’m also going to eat some pasta in a few minutes, so I guess that’s alright.

  51. I’m sitting indian style in bed post-shower, scrolling through painfully adorable photos of pets in the open thread instead of getting ready to go out. Can’t get wastey-face on my meds, so I’m *gasp* designated driver tonight. I’M GOING TO A QUEER CLUB SOBER GUYS (SCARY). Hopefully my less-than-inebriated state means I wont text my ex and will be too busy boogieing down with cute girls.

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