FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: Amazing Girlfriends and God-Awful Lesbian Movies

Hello, Autostraddle! Welcome to this week’s Friday Open Thread! Did you know that from now on there will be a Friday Open Thread every Friday, kind of like how there is a Thirsty Thursday every Thursday? It’s the new rest of the week! Only not really, because the rest of the week exists. But let’s live in the now.

I’ve had a really amazing week because my long-distance total babe of a girlfriend Geneva is in town (!), but she’s been really upset because of a recent discovery that I’ve been living under a rock and never saw any of the formative lesbian movies of her youth. And probably yours.

This is what we look like, by the way.


I’m attempting to bridge this huge gap of understanding in my very serious adult relationship by ordering a pizza, throwing back some beer, and watching a marathon of awful, no-good, can’t-look-away, car-crash-of-a-movie lesbian cinema. It’ll be like the time Autostraddle watched a horrible lesbian movie with The Toast, only probably with more Stella Artois and making out. Our selections will include The Craft, But I’m a Cheerleader, and All Over Me. [Which my editors would like to note are: A) not a lesbian movie but also really good, B) a really good lesbian movie and C) also a really good lesbian movie.]

NOTE: The reason we’re not watching D.E.B.S. or Lost and Delirious is because I’ve already seen them and have them burned into my brain permanently. Also, did you know Lost and Delirious is, in fact, about how two dykes totally ruin poor Mischa Barton’s childhood? My roommates and I used to fight about this all the time: they would be all, the lesbians are the lead characters and I would be like no it’s Mischa Barton and then I’d think, but what if the main character is actually the bird of prey from the weird witch voodoo scenes?


But enough about me. I am but one person in this magnificent Staddleverse and I want to talk about YOU!

What are you doing tonight? What are you drinking? What are you watching? Who are you with? What are you wearing? Sorry, am I getting carried away. Anyway, you should tell me! Seriously. I’ll be here all night keeping you posted on my adventures through my non-existent lesbian past in the comments, and you should keep me posted on your night, too! You can even post photos. Show me yours and I’ll show you mine! By this I mean I will show you pictures of my dog if you show me pictures of your girlfriend. I’ve done this with countless strangers before and it always worked out.

How To Post a Photo In The Comments:

1. Find a photo! This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL,” and then…

2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code:

<img src=”http://imageurlgoeshere.jpg”>

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur.


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Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 920 articles for us.


  1. So this is very exciting, I’m going to my first school dance (the college semi-formal, I’m a junior) with a date-ish person! We’re not actually calling it a date, but we haven’t called anything else a date (save for one brunch excursion). So I’m gonna go dance (and probably make out with) a cute girl all night and it’s going to be wonderful and amazing.

  2. I had no idea The Craft was considered a lesbian movie. This new knowledge makes me love that movie even more than I already do. I’m pretty sure Nancy started my attraction to girls in goth attire. >.>

  3. I’m just drinking vodka by myself and telling everyone that I’m writing but instead am here on Autostraddle.

    But now I’m thinking I should continue drinking and also watch But I’m A Cheerleader because that movie is SO GREAT, CARMEN. SO GREAT.

  4. I’m in NYU country (aka all of Greenwich Village) sipping some tea and listening to soul on the cafe’s radio. Really nice ambience. Tonight is my last night, unfortunately, but I have nothing planned. I wanted to go to Metropolitan for the first time ever, but with a phone that likes to die every four hours, that’s not gonna happen. Womp womp. Maybe in the summer when I come back.

  5. I am hanging out on Tumblr and listening to music while my sister plays Minecraft with our cousin. I’ve been debating watching But I’m A Cheerleader for a couple weeks now, maybe I should do that.. although I should probably do some homework first since I didn’t go to school today.. but then again I have all weekend for that.. Now I’m rambling..

  6. My girlfriend made a humorous comic about weird questions we get when we are out in public. I can’t post the image here because it is NSFW but I will put in a link

    Other then that, we are going to go home and plays some vigiagarms. We just beat Tales of Xillia, which was really fun but the story was pretty meh. We can’t decided between lego Harry Potter and this western two player rpg I picked up called Fallen Angel or something else really generic. Does anybody know of any other good couch co-op games? We only have a PS3, PS2 and a Wii.

  7. I didn’t have any plans, other than drinking some whiskey, but NOW I think I’m gonna drink some whiskey and make my girlfriend watch Tipping the Velvet with me (again), which you should watch, Carmen, because it’s truly amazing.

  8. Here in Hattiesburg, MS (queer lady population: 3), I’m about to go out with fellow grad students but would 100% rather be home watching ‘Imagine Me & You’ for the five hundred millionth time.

  9. Ohhai. I’m hanging out with a big group of franzzzz. We’re gonna do some movies (so far we’ve picked Pitch Perfect as a start) and make dinner.

    But mostly right now I’m trying to find motivation to put on pants for this adventure…

  10. Aimee and Jaguar is still my favorite lesbian movie, yet I never hear anybody talking about it. Maybe because it’s German, IDK. It’s based on a true story though and while it is a tragic period piece it is still awesome and well-acted. That’s more than I can say for a lot of other lesbian-themed movies.

    P.S. Speaking of movies, the Bomb Girls movie airs March 27 in Canada. Canadians need to hook me up.

  11. OH and Carmen, for like crazy, awesome, twisted, period-film, Dickens-esque lesbians check out Fingersmith! I’m also a deep worshipper of I Can’t Think Straight (which is nothing like Fingersmith, still awesome, and totes available to stream on Netflix!)

    Those are my suggestions for you. (:

  12. But I’m A Cheerleader brings back so many memories of making out with my high school girlfriend in my parents’ basement.

    Tonight I am hanging out in my room because there are not a lot of queer ladies in central New Jersey. I will probably watch Pretty Little Liars. I’m also going to drink some Champagne because my former boss passed away this week and she was all about not waiting for special occasions to drink the bubbly. So basically I’m going to get drunk and watch bad TV.

  13. I plan to drink Port wine with my family, and be in the closet about my trans feelings. I plan to watch the beloved Lakers probably loose another game, and then wish there was cute lady to lay in bed with me.

  14. If you want a good foreign lesbian movie that will pull at your heart strings and make you cry, Amiee and Jaguar is on Netflix. In between the crying there is few scenes of hot passion in German language.

  15. I’m going to try a new recipe (veggie chili), make some comfort food (brown sugar brownies), do laundry, and look forward to sleep.

    Oooh! Also planning my post-A-Camp road trip.

    But mostly the looking forward to sleep part.

      • Okay! :)

        I’m from Manitoba, Canada, and I have some time off work this summer, so I decided to drive to A-Camp. And then when A-Camp is done, I’m going to slowly work my way north, mostly along the coast, until I get to British Columbia.

        I’m camping the whole time, stopping at a bunch of state and national parks along the way, and trying to see EVERYTHING. (I’m a nature nut.) I’m super-excited! It’ll take me about four weeks to get back to the Canadian border after camp.

        Company from A-Campers would be totally cool at any point along the way, although unfortunately my schedule won’t be too flexible. Campgrounds fill up FAST, especially in California, so I’ve had to make all my campsite reservations already.

      • The veggie chili has been tasted. It’s nothing special, but not bad. The recipe is very easy and can be adapted to whatever you have on hand.

        -Dice about 2 cups of mixed veggies. I used celery, carrots, and red peppers. I probably would use less-crunchy veggies next time.
        -Heat 1 T olive oil in a medium-sized saucepan. Add the veggies and about 1 tsp chili powder and 1 pinch cumin (you can adjust those for your preferences). Saute over medium-high heat for about 5 minutes.
        -Add one 14 oz can of diced tomatoes, preferably chili-flavoured. If not chili-flavoured, use more seasoning.
        -Drain and rinse one 14 oz can of red kidney beans, and add to the pot. Stir.
        -Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer until the veggies are softened to your liking and the flavours have mixed. Stir occasionally.
        -Serves 2 to 3.

        Brown Sugar Brownies (these are awesome, I’ve made them before)

        2/3 cup butter, melted
        2 and 1/4 cups firmly packed brown sugar
        4 eggs
        2 and 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
        2 tsp baking powder
        1 tsp salt
        1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (I use pecans, or leave them out)
        1 6-oz package chocolate chips

        Preheat oven to 350F and grease a 9X13 inch pan. Using an electric mixer, beat the melted butter and brown sugar until combined. Beat in the eggs, one at a time until combined. In a second bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt; stir into the brown sugar mixture. Fold in the nuts and chocolate chips until combined.

        Spread batter in pan. Bake 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted 1 inch from the edge of the pan comes out clean. Cool and cut into squares.

        Dinner is done, now for baking! :)

  16. I am at work eating ramen. wah waaah. I have been working for close to 12 hours now! I am determined to get enough done that I can feel good taking a weekend off, dammit. I got so backlogged on everything that needs to be done because I shoved everything to the side the past week and a half as my organization took part in holding Pittsburgh’s largest employer accountable. See: .

    Here is a photo of me doing a sit-in risking arrest on Tuesday:

    It was intense, it was big, it was colorful, it was loud, it was stressful, it was frustrating, it was inspiring. Monday was like this- out in the cold dancing, chanting, marching, rushing about supporting my organization’s role, being the local liasion for a group in from Philly, as I’m doing all this, planning and leading an action on the fly, take the streets on multiple occasions, taking an intersection, having amazing conversations.

    Most people I know are still sore for all the dancing and marching and hoarse from all the chanting and shouting outside in the cold. I worked the last two weeks straight, but I also care about all this other organizing that got put on the back-burner, so… I’m still at work. (tomorrow will feel glorious)

  17. I am having a great day. I got a letter from my beautiful penpal friend that I met at A-Camp in October, and yesterday I got a different letter from a different beautiful penpal friend that I also met at A-Camp. Cabinmates make the best penpals <3

  18. I am hanging out in my room with my baby gay self, working on a midterm, and trying not to freak out too much about getting into a grad school that’s possibly too good for me.

    Reading that back makes me think I need a drink.

  19. I spent most of yesterday freezing at a demonstration to get my university to add gender confirmation surgery to our student insurance plans. And we WON!

    Here’s me looking cute, cold, and happy after they announced the trustees voted in our favor:

    Tonight is “unofficial” St. Patrick’s day so the streets are filled with roving packs of wild bros, so I’m celebrating the victory with some friends safely indoors eating deviled potatoes and cookie dough balls, drinking vegan white russians, and watching the muppet show.

  20. This is my first Friday officially cohabiting with my person. It’s so weird because I’ve always, always been actively anti-cohabitation but it just sort of happened. We’ve been together for a year so it’s not *too* u-haul-y but it’s still going to take some getting used to. I know a lesbian couple in my town who are legally married that have been together less than my person and I have, so that’s what I keep reassuring myself with.
    Actively, desperately, looking for new music to obsess over. Anybody have any suggestions? I like the sad kind (think Grey’s Anatomy soundtrack), rappers (Angel Haze, Yeezus, Biggy, Iggy Azalea), and all things Latino.

    • I wish I knew some sad Latino rappers for you.

      Chance the Rapper is really rad and reminds me a little of what you listed soundwise. I also recommend Shabazz Palaces because they are spacey sounding and their lyrics make me think a lot. happy hunting.

  21. I’m waiting for Lydia O to get off work so we can make pizza and watch old TV on the internet because there are NO movies in theatres that I want to see.

    I have 10 free movies passes and there is still NOTHING that I’m willing to use them on.

    Any suggestions? (I’ve already seen Gravity, and I’m not willing to watch 12 Years a Slave)

  22. tonight i am ostensibly doing All the Homework so that i can maybe graduate in may instead of december, but i am seriously considering Fucking Right Off and watching hunger games instead.

    tomorrow though! tomorrow i am going with a bunch of You Fabulous People to see the vagina monologues and then drink things. it will be very queerish. i am excited.

  23. Well it sounds like my Friday night will be me debating whether or not I should drop hints to my family about me being super gay by watching ALL the lesbian movies on the family Netflix account…

  24. Tattle Tale – Glass Vase Cello Case slays me because of But I’m a Cheerleader… though I’d have to say that I have super strong feelings for Imagine Me & You since I really like the way the “side” characters seem to be more fleshed out than you’d usually expect in a movie. Also, “What does the lily mean?” “The lily means… I dare you to love me” UMF MY HEARTSTRINGS~

  25. Actually with my girlfriend this week for the first time since New Year’s(!!) and we’re watching gay anime since we’ve already boozed and ate pizza to OITNB and Orphan Black marathons.
    (Although we did watch Itty Bitty Titty Committee for the first time while at the laundromat last Saturday, which was an experience)

    But since I’m with my boo and not with my cat, here’s a picture of the latter

  26. Currently sipping my Sam Adams and staring at my clock…I have T-minus 30 minutes to convince myself to go work out. Yet I have pizza in my freezer and people keep posting cute photos of their cats…must look away…ah who am I kidding. Let’s face it I’m not going to work out and that pizza is going to be demolished. ‘MERICA!

  27. It’s now 2am here and I’m supposed to be writing a lab report for Monday but I’m too busy wasting time reading Autostraddle and probably not going to bed before starting work at 7am. (Just to clarify Autostraddle is never a waste of time in my eyes but probably in the eyes of my professor who’s looking for a CV and a 20 page E. coli report). In other news, I’m loving this new Friday open thread.

  28. It’s 02.25 am here so my Friday is essentially over – I made vegan chocolate cheesecake (with the help of my best friend) for the girl I’m dating today and it was my first time utilising (hell, even seeing) tofu … That was certainly an experience!

    I have to spend most of tomorrow studying because I have exams next week buuuuut I also get to possibly go out and see my not-girlfriend, so, that’s good! And it’s supposed to be 18 degrees (Celsius, not Fahrenheit) tomorrow, which is basically London summer, so I’m excited about that. 

  29. I just had a lateish dinner with my roomie after having gone bridesmaids dress shopping with my BFF whose wedding is next fall. I found a dress, which is très excitant. Now I’m digesting dinner and wondering what to do with my remaining wakeful hours this fine Friday night.

    I don’t have a girlfriend or a pet to send you photos of, though I do have photos of the girl I wish was my girlfriend and her cat which I wish was my cat…

  30. I just got home from school…ok what I actually mean is that class ended at 4:30 and then we went out for drinks….

    I haven’t seen it in a while but I really like Circumstance – think its Iranian.

    also. also. also. Love my Life is probably the cutest movie ever made. ever.

  31. I don’t know what I am going to do tonight: I’ve just had a beautiful massage and now I am in a mmmm mmmm must relax let’s do something that involves doing nothing but food reading and sitting. So that’s what I’ll do. I am loving everyone’s inspired pet pictures. Carmen your dog has a great smile.

    Lesbian must watch movies:
    The dogdy unhappy ending ones are Heavenly Creatures and Aimee and Jaguar

    The I can’t remember how it ended ones: Desert Hearts (mmm mmm Patricia Charbonneau) Fire (indian dyke director maybe?), Go Fish (Rose Troche and Guinevere Turner), When Night is Falling, and Portrait of a Marriage (about real life lesbians Vita Sackville-West and Violet Trefusis, Janet McTeer is hot in it as “Vita”)

    May have to have food now.

  32. All these animal pictures are making me miss my little dog who is being fostered by my mother since I can’t have pets in my apartment. boo. Here’s a picture from Christmas. Sadly no cute outfit, she never has time for those.

  33. I just came in from the gym where I stayed an hour longer than I planned to because this suuuupper cute woman (7 years older than me) asked me to spot her. Then we started talking and competing against each other at heavy lunges. I can’t feel my legs, I’m hungry and I kinda want to vomit but sweet Jesus she is cute and bi!!!! And I don’t drink so I have to feel it all.

  34. Netflix on my iPad is being a jerk and so I’ve decided to spend my night working on my launch campaign for the website I created (currently which I think you should all check out because it would make me so happy. Sign up if you like, get in touch if you wanna contribute and definitely start using the hashtag whenever you get a chance :)

    Happy movie watching folks!

  35. I closed at work, poured my day’s pay back into my truck’s gas tank, and went home. So now I’m sitting in my sweatpants eating reheated Hungarian goulash my mom made me and watching Tina Turner music videos obsessively.

    So just my typical Friday night, tbh.

  36. This is currently how I’m feeling about my situation and just life in general. Take that as you will.

    In other news, I’m currently watching The L Word, because I’m a masochist and adding wedding dresses to my Pinterest board because I’m delusional. It’s mostly due to the fact that the latest episode of Reign, a show you should be watching just for the hilariously historical inaccuracies and typical CW drama, featured Mary Queen of Scots getting married. Her dress was gorgeous and I’ve been on the hunt for one that looks similar.

    Does anyone here watch Reign? And if so, why aren’t we talking about it?!

    Here’s a picture of my cat, Oliver to fulfill the cat quota for this thread:

    Also, is it kosher to add your tumblr url in these threads? I want to follow y’all over there, too!

  37. But I’m a Cheerleader was the first lesbian movie I ever watched, and I highly recommend it. ^.^

    Being the only lesbian I know that doesn’t like cats or dogs (am I the only such monster? Anyone else out there?), in lieu of a picture of pets I present this stock photo of my pet box of wine.

    It’s a rescue. Poor thing was homeless after my roommate decided to give it up for Lent.

    • I’m pretty much allergic to anything with fur, (cats, dogs, horses) which makes me a tad sad, because I’d love to be a cat lady if it weren’t for my asthma and eyes going berserk. But even if I weren’t allergic I don’t think I’d want a pet because of the time commitment and mess. It’s hard because my boo had cats in her prior relationship and really wants one again. Tonight she’s off flying planes. I can’t wait to see her tomorrow as it’s been a week since I last saw her.

  38. But I’m A Cheerleader is pretty great!

    I tried watching Blue Is The Warmest Color…key word is “tried”. I gave up 2/3 through. I may pick it up some other night but it is sooooo longgg. Why must they eat & ramble so much?
    The sex scene(s) was just laughable.
    I can’t help but wonder is Adele can drink water without spitting it all over herself, the girl was always slackjawed…
    Anywho, time for House of Cards.

  39. WORK WORK WORK. Evade water being thrown by patient. WORK WORK WORK. Evade urinal filled with icky stuff being thrown by another patient. DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE. GYM. GYM. BREATHE. GYM. SLEEP.

    Why am I missing beer? =(

  40. I’m working. Which pretty much translates to watching TV (they have every fucking channel except, you know, actual news, which is actually pretty infuriating), occasionally running out and getting some pieces of rock to look at, and being incredibly, incredibly jealous of all you who are drinking delicious beer/wine/cocktails because I’ve been out on a rig for 16 days and that’s a long time to go without a drink. For me.

  41. YOU GUYS. We watched 1408 (for some unknown reason) after Pitch Perfect and now I’ll never sleep againnnn. =\ Because I’m am the biggest pansy and I went home to my empty terrifying apartment. HOLD ME.

  42. how timely! last night my person and i went to a pulp cinema in a warehouse and saw ‘the twilight girls’, a 1957 ‘Sexy… Secretive… Seductive…’ piece of hilarity involving a boarding school and girl crushes and sleeping topless and no resolution to any of the several plot lines, and a creepy old man who made kissing noises at the screen whenever breasts were bared.

    we also got lost on the way to the cinema and went on an impromptu architectural tour i.e. house dreamz, and got gelato afterwards. best night ever

  43. Every time I comment on an open thread I’m at my parents’ house in the middle of nowhere and missing out on something, it seems. This time it’s March 8th demonstrations I was invited to! I should make a blanket fort in my old bedroom and watch But I’m a Cheerleader.

  44. It’s not Friday anymore, but Imma still post anyway.

    My long distance GF is in town as well this weekend! We had a lovely Friday night of going to BJ’s brewhouse for dinner and yummy beer. Followed by a very gay night of cuddles and watching Behind the Candelabra!

    Today we are going on an adventure to Yellow Springs and meeting up with some Straddlers in Cinci to go to The Vagina Monologues.

    It’s the perfect weekend basically!

  45. I too am posting late because I’m visiting my ld gf this weekend and just saw this! We just drank beer and cuddled and watched sitcoms but today it’s about bike riding next to a lake, grilling tonight, and either watching Philomena or Lost and Delirious. Hope everyone has a magical weekend!

  46. I also had no idea that The Craft was considered a lez movie. However, it did evoke some very lesbian emotions and bodily sensations in me as a teen… so, gay.
    Tonight I am riding the bus home from work in order to love on and then spoon the f out of my girlfriend and probably later eat a lot of chili in bed and fill the blankets with farts while watching Millionaire Matchmaker.
    To some, this all may sound extremely unromantic and gross, but (farting aside) I couldn’t ask for a better Saturday night.

  47. Watching the movie Drool with the babe. I highly recommend it. Anyone who likes But I’m a cheerleader will love it. The 411-An abused wife’s plan to escape her husband goes awry when she accidentally kills him, causing her to split on a cross-country drive with her best friend/new female lover,her kids, and his corpse in tow. It’s a dark comedy and actually has some sad parts.

  48. Has anyone seen a documentary about gay ladies called
    “Paris is? was? a woman?”
    Is it about Djuna Barnes, Anais Nin, and other literary and artistic lesbians?
    I would love to see this but maybe I have to pay for it or rent it. I love this sort of thing and I’ve got a thing for flapper gay ladies.

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