FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: How Are You Keeping This Women’s March Feeling Going?

feature images via shutterstock

Last weekend, women’s marches literally took over the world. For one entire weekend, it felt like if we rallied enough, we’d be able to hurl an entire planet into the sun if that’s what they wanted. The calls to action in the days that followed didn’t seem so overwhelming with that in the rearview, and if the current state of affairs are going to keep steamrolling along as they indeed seem to be, I need another weekend to recharge.

So, I made a playlist to surround myself with the girl groups of today and yesteryear because there’s power in numbers, because there’s authority in the things people consider frivolous, and because there are few things that make me feel prouder of the women in my life than hearing them singing every word to a Danity Kane song. I’m going to listen to this playlist that 100% has a Pussycat Dolls song on it on repeat until I feel like the blood in my body has healing powers, only stopping for the hour and a half when Lifetime airs Love By the 10th Date (I exclusively watch Lifetime now) starring – somehow, impossibly – Meagan Good, Keri Hilson, and Kelly Rowland. Fairytales do come true they can happen to you.

1. Show Stopper – Dainty Kane
2. Night Watch – GRRRL PRTY
3. This is Me – Dream
4. Don’t Walk Away – Jade
5. My Chick Bad Remix – Diamond, Trina, Eve
6. 808 – Blaque
7. Spice Up Your Life – Spice Girls
8. Lose My Breath – Destiny’s Child
9. Work From Home – Fifth Harmony
10. I’m So Into You – SWV
11. Buttons – The Pussycat Dolls
12. Wegula – GRRRL PRTY
13. Damaged – Danity Kane
14. Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Bed – TLC
15. 702 – Where My Girls At

What are you doing? Need help brainstorming? Does anyone know where I can get a bunch of sand?

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


  1. I have no sand to offer, but I’ll totally recommend a staple from my playlist: The Bullpen, by Dessa.

    There’s a new chapter of NOW starting near me, I’m looking forward to going to my first meeting Monday. I’m taking my mom with me…

  2. oh like how they make a room into a beachfront? that sounds terrifying did you also paint garish stripes on the walls?

    honestly I therapized and told a bunch of my clients that my office was a safe space for misandry which seemed to land well with most of them, bc I forget that some therapists are like “you can’t talk about hating men” and I’m like “it’s a feeling, and also hating men is a really appropriate response”

    and I wrote this:

    and I’m definitely going to see that movie eagle huntress tonight but two separate friends are going and I’m trying to combine the two but it’s unclear if it’ll happen.

    happy weekend, friends.

    • Loved your article, I think I need to read it on a regular basis. I feel like I am not alone in struggling tonstop reading and thinking and stressing to the point that it’s messing with my sleep and concentration. But it’s so hard!

    • i’m sorry, did you say eagle huntress? also if a therapist told me “misandry’s ok in here” i don’t think i’d leave their office

      • Yes! Teen girl that hunts with eagles in Mongolia! My friend is coming with and she’s deffo gonna cry and I’m excited.

        Yeah I have been like “maybe you could make a banner that says something like trust no man so you can have that in your house and validate your feelings even if your friends don’t”

    • I’m going to read “Go the Fuck to Sleep” way more often.

      I told my therapist that the thought of watching a man do mundane things like brush his teeth repulsed me and she said, “Wow, you really are lesbian.”

  3. I suppose the way I’m keeping things going is wearing my ridiculous gryffindor pjs and testing if wine really does aid creativity. I found out yesterday about a lgbt writers retreat…which has an application due on the 30th. I’d prefer to apply for YA…but I’ve mostly written ‘new’ adult all year. And I loath my old pieces… so I’m going to try to crunch 9k in 3 days, essentially.

    While still working and cleaning for Chinese New Year (as recommended by a friend)

    Anyone else wanting to scream into the void with me? Or just think they might be bored to tears on Sunday and want to read weird fantasy about girls.

    (Also I adored Romancing the InventorPassing Strange comes next week! Or this weekend if I fall into a pit of dispair over failure (or less likely, succeed early)

    There is no sand, alas.

  4. So the press release for the Valentine’s Day episode of “Supergirl” came out (I’ll put it in a response, so it doesn’t spoil anybody), and in response the Sanvers and Supercorp fandoms appear to have turned on each other. Come on, with Trump and Pence in the White House, do we really need to fall into in-fighting?

    • LENA IS ARRESTED – After Metallo (guest star Frederick Schmidt) breaks out of prison and frees Lillian Luthor (guest star Brenda Strong), the police blame Lena (guest star Katie McGrath) for his escape and arrest her. Despite overwhelming evidence, Kara (Melissa Benoist) refuses to believe her friend is guilty and fights to clear Lena’s name. Flashbacks reveal how Lena came to be a Luthor. Meanwhile, Alex (Chyler Leigh) and Maggie (Floriana Lima) celebrate their first Valentine’s Day together. Tawnia McKiernan directed the episode written by Robert Rovner and Cindy Lichtman. (212). Original airdate 2/13/17.

      • i start to read that and then was like wait no no stop! i was thinking maybe it was just going to be spoilers for previous episodes, but nope!

        i agree tho, just say no to in-fighting.

  5. It’s been a week of whole weeks. Every single day was a week. There has been such an overwhelming amount of shit shitting all over the place, I don’t even know what new disaster to share on facebook anymore or which thing I’m writing my senators about (NY – represent, Gillibrand. Chuck… not so much right now buddy really what r u doin). I’m dealing with this like an adult by ordering a fuck ton of food and not leaving my house tonight. Love you fam <3

  6. My winter break started today!
    I’m going to see my favorite musical for the second time next Wednesday with my friend. Plus the theater is in a seaside city and I’ve never seen sea in a winter! We already have our train tickets and I’m planning where we will eat, I’m just soooo pumped!

    I’m coming back on Thursday (probably late evening) and on Friday I’m going to Barcelona with my familY! I’m so happy because it was one of my biggest dreams (I remember the time I was reading “The Shadow of the Wind” and I thought reading this book in Barcelona would be wonderful. And I’m going to actually do it!). I found out that there is LGBTQ bookstore and I just hope I’ll find time to go there. I’ll just have find an excuse for my parents and not get lost. Which is gonna be hard because I get lost everywhere.

    I finally watched “One Day at a Time” this week! It was so good, so positive – exactly what I needed. I love Elena so much. For the first time I identified with coming out story so much. Like I’m so happy that Elena is single, that her sexuality is valid without having a girlfriend? And I feel her “I’m not embarrassed, I’m just not sure” so so so much.

    My week was pretty boring other than that. Though I feel like I’m going to be sick. I hope I’m wrong.

    Have a nice weekend, y’all! <3

  7. You guys, I am so afraid with what is happening in the world right now, I am so frustrated with the state of things here in Northern Ireland, I am really struggling with my mental health and I have never felt more empowered to take care of myself. I feel like I can’t afford to wage war with myself anymore, not when the rest of the world is happy to do that for me, and I can’t be useful to the people who are even more vulnerable than I am if I am not well.

    So, yeah. I have been really engaged with my mental health team, I have taken a couple of weeks off to try and get myself back on my feet and I want to get back to fighting for the things and people that I love and value.

    On another note, ‘One Day at a Time’ and ‘Take My Wife’ have been a major source of happiness over the past few weeks, as have you wonderful people <3

    • “I feel like I can’t afford to wage war with myself anymore, not when the rest of the world is happy to do that for me” <3

    • You’ve got that right.
      Take care of yourself. You’re too important to ignore your needs.

      It’s taken me awhile to watch it but I finally saw the movie Suffragettes the other night.

      I know we’ve got a lot to get through but I found the fight our Grandmothers and Great Grannies had, as portrayed in this film, so very inspiring. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. You might find it interesting too.

      I hope you’re feeling more settled soon. Hugs if you’d like them.

  8. This had been an incredibly long and A W F U L week! I wasn’t able to get much of my work done so I have to squeeze about a week’s worth of reading and essays into the weekend on top of what I already had to do this weekend with meetings and such. All while feeling the heaviest depressing sadness and confusion about what my life is going to be?! I found out late monday night I didn’t get into grad school, and I didn’t have a back up plan, so now I’m graduating in June and literally have no plan, no idea, no future. Its great, everything’s F a n TASTIC! I somehow have to tell people in my life what’s going on, I’ve told a few, but not my family, not two of the professors who were so helpful and were my references, not some friends, I just feel like a failure.

    • hey, okay, this is a spot to be in. but six months is a long time if you let it work for you and work with it. my advice is give yourself some space from this right now if you can, because stressing from the top is only going to set a tone to this thing. “i will worry the hell out of this on wednesday, february 1, from 6 to 8pm” and until then, breathe. drink some water. watch veep. ily

      • Thanks <3 I took a few moments to breathe today. I am making attending my roommate's family's lunar new year FEAST on sunday a priority in my life, I think it'll help a lot.

  9. I have a solution for you sand problem: buy glasses with garbage politicians face on it and smash them with a hammer until the become sand… don’t forget the safety goggles ??‍♀️

    Tonight I’m supposed to go to a queer board game thing that seems really cool and is really close to my house but I’m terrified of people and also just staying at home is much more fun… So who knows what I’m doing. I’m hoping writing here will help me to not give up on going.

    • Go to the queer board game thing! I have no further details but it sounds like fun because queer board game thing.

      A person who is also terrified of people and usually stays at home and often regrets that decision.

    • priscila you suggesting i roll around on glass is not the worst thing i’ve heard this week, and that’s somthing

  10. soRRy i only bury myself in DIY sAnd, yes this latte is fair trade, i have a trust fund but don’t tell my girlfriend, sure, this is totally fake fur.

    i’m coping with the world by taking on a new identity.

  11. I’m super happy it’s Friday! Feels like its been a super long week…..I’m currently waiting for the hairdresser to redo my undercut, but I’m nervous coz its not the usual guy I have so I’m having to explain what I want…but it’s only hair, it will grow right =/

    Apart from that…signed up for an intro to bondage with ropes workshop next week, started poster design for a workshop my anti street harassment group is gonna do, and finished One Day at a Time which I looooooved.

    Hope everyone has a good weekend….I know it’s hard in these times :( big hugs to y’all xxx

    PS oopsy I just scratched my head and now my finger is covered in pink hair dye

      • It came out okay! The lines look better in real life, it’s hard to photograph the back of your own head….

        Side note: need to check my comment notifications because it didn’t tell me I had replies, sorry!

    • If it makes you feel any better, I’ve just moved to Quebec. So not only am I going to have to get a new hairdresser (and soon – I’ve got some serious Shaggy vibes going on), I’m going to have to explain what I want in French. Will report back if shit goes sideways.

      Oh, and a rope bondage course sounds awesome!

      • Hahahhaa Kay I hear you, I have to explain in Spanish what I want! Last time í made an appointment she laughed at me because I forgot what the word for “nape of the neck” is in Spanish (nuca, for future reference) and I’m like uhhhhh how often do you think I use that in every day life?!

        I wish you luck! You can do this!

  12. this week has gotten to me. i keep getting annoyed at really really petty shit today. i read this article about implanting human stem cells in pig embryos and it reminded me of the creepy super smart genetically engineered pigs in oryx and crake, so i linked a friend to the article and asked if he’d read the book, and instead of being like “nope, why?,” he read the full plot summary of the book and spoiled it for himself, and the summary doesn’t even mention the creepy pigs. and i was basically like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. like hi whoa there, me, maybe simmer down a little. it’s just like every tiny little thing is getting under my skin. i’m listening to sleater-kinney, hoping that will help. and maybe i’ll bully myself into going to some queer shit this weekend. (though dance parties and such are usually not my thing, so yet to be determined if that will be helpful.)

    oh AND, i read in my dumb “skimm” newsletter email this morning that apparently by age 6, girls start thinking boys are smarter than them and don’t want to play games if told that they are for “really really smart” kids. so ya know. everything is fine who needs feminism.

    …in positive news…i don’t know? wanna share that sand?

    sorry i am in a fuuunk

    here is a pic of my roommate’s kitty chuck (named after chuck in pushing daisies) deigning to sit in my lap for once in her life:

    and here is my family’s new puppy:

    and a nice picture of obama riding a unicorn that i saw at the women’s march in dc (also the where are we meeting tomorrow sign is on point):

    hope y’all are doing better than meeeeee

    • you know, cb, i am with you on this funk. i’ve put a ban on people speaking about unpleasant things to me. acceptable topics are food (what’s good what’s not) and sex (what’s good what’s not) and that’s about it. may i suggest turning your music up VERY LOUD?

      • i am trying not to disturb my roommate or i WOULD. back when i lived in the middle of nowhere and driving wasn’t automatically the most frustrating, i used to love going for drives with the music as loud as possible to calm myself down when i felt bad.

        right now i’m researching what chinese restaurant i should go to for dinner tonight, so maybe i will have some nice food-related things to say later. i was hoping maybe the cute animals and obama shooting rainbows from his hands would make up for my negativity.

        • ugh I am also in a funk and trying to cure it with sleater-kinney but I feel like nothing will work except for turning the volume up loud and my roommate is ASLEEP IN THE NEXT ROOM ugh

      • on the one hand, in oryx and crake the pigs were pretty interested in trying to eat people, but on the other hand, i dunno surely they couldn’t be worse than trump.

    • so, i did in fact go out last night, and it has finally clicked in my head why i don’t like strobe lights. apparently “flicker vertigo” is a thing. tried to go out on the dance floor with my friends but pretty quickly was like nooooooope nevermind i will go hide away from those lights instead. other times i think maybe i’ve blamed it on some combination of being drunk and also being a bit of a spoilsport. i feel like maybe this is science telling me to stop going out to stuff like that.

  13. I had too much exposure to news this week and started feeling myself fall into a downward spiral. Fortunately I realized this and decided to pass out at 8pm on Wednesday and woke up feeling better about life on Thursday. I also filed my taxes and although I’ve always found banking on tax returns as a little bit tacky, I’m excited to dump some more money in savings in case I need to flee this pile of hot shit of a country. Any places I should consider moving to? Stay hydrated out there!

  14. My eye started twitching yesterday and hasn’t stopped. When I was in grad school, my thesis partner had a twitchy eye all through our entire thesis writing. Am I back in grad school? Am I under stress at work? Am I having feelings about getting old(er)? Is orange really the new black? Or is orange the new pink? Cause that’s seriously disturbed. Is it okay to use the word “disturbed” since it’s a quote from Legally Blonde? Will anyone notice I quoted Elle Woods? Will I ever find someone who loves Legally Blonde (the movie) as much as I do? Will I die alone? Why did that escalate so quickly? Why do I have so many questions? Why was the producer of Hamilton in the elevator at my work? What is the meaning of life? Fucking twitchy eye.

    • K twitching drove me crazy for w e e k s so imma share overload rn.

      electrolyte imbalance and/or dehydration can also cause twitchy eye. potassium citrate supplements (i only take like 10% rda) finally helped mine stop. I read the warnings abt too much being bad. –you’d need to eat like 4 baked potatoes a day to get the rda of potassium and a banana has less than a baked potato. I eat like 80% vegetables and I still don’t get enough.

      Phew, so yeah, eye twitch: stress, this, or maybe get yr lenses updated. #twitchexpertnow

  15. I am right now excited over the possibility that this could happen here in Calfiornia.

    I want to thank Autostraddle again, because I met up with another local straddler last Saturday and the person is super cool. This community is just great! I also have plans to go another lbtq event this week(and we, as in lbtq folks, are lucky to have two event options this weekend marketed for us). If no ones comes with me I will probably go solo again.

    Other than that I am thinking about the possibility of starting my own business, but it’s in the super early stages right now. I will try to make it an LGBTQ safe space if it does happen! But, sadly for safety and various other issues, it wasn’t proposed as such.

    The negative of last week is seeing parts of the Republican come out in some of my family members, which is super awkward/weird as Middle Eastern Jews. Thankfully, I do not see them often and I have no reason to be out to them or really speak to them besides at family gatherings. They mostly like his tax plans, and plans for the Middle East. Oh well.

    Here is another picture of me queerfully wearing my they/them pin while outside at work.

    Thank you for viewing and reading my post Have a positive weekend friends!

    • al you have been to a queer friendly wine tasting and meet with an autostraddler and have another lgbt thing coming up – all just this month. i am in awe

      • I’m sure there is more queer stuff I did, like cry in the shower, curse, tell my parents not to call me mister, cry some more. To be fair this is an advantages of living in Southern California, there is going to be at least one queer who host an event somewhere that isn’t specifically for gay men(and the events aren’t just queer friendly, but queer hosted too). Only downside is I’m mostly doing these alone, and hoping to meet more queer who are active and just want to hang.

    • Love the pin!! Have you listened to the Sleater-Kinney Live in Paris album yet?? (Gotta ask my fellow S-K fan on Autostraddle)

      • I have not had the time yet sadly. I shall this weekend, have you listened to it yet? Thank you for asking though!

  16. I feverishly knitting/sewing to channel my anxious energy. I’m also putting myself on a media diet of one day on and two days off for now. I know that this orange chupacabra is doing shit left, right, up, down, every second of the day but I don’t have the fortitude to keep up with the play by play. Bless you, AS, for doing a lot of the dirty work and distilling the essentials.

    • Are you knitting/sewing anything fun? You have reminded me that I have a very neglected project that I started when my best friend just found out she was pregnant. Her baby is now 5 months old.

      Media diet is really important. I just installed an app that allows me to pick when to restrict certain apps and not having my phone in my hands 24/7 has been a really good thing.

  17. I have been having an okay week. Lots of reading for all my classes. I expected business law to be reading intensive, but marketing and finance? That was a curve ball for me. I had nice conversations with people that apparently know me from last semester…. I didn’t know I was that memorable or popular since I wasn’t really social until near the end of it. I guess I made a good impression which is nice since it doesn’t involve alcohol or drugs this time. Which reminds me, my long time friend is a month sober after some tough love and letting him hit rock bottom instead of saving him all the time. I didn’t know I was starting to be codependent.

    I’m kind of sad though. My sister and I have been fighting a lot recently. She misses me but she is always trying to guilt trip me into visiting her and wants me to put her above my education and job and even my own wife. She thinks the women’s march was pointless and that defunding planned parenthood is great! I keep arguing with her because she is smarter than this. She knows how to think critically and used to look at all sides. Now she just follows. I’m hoping that she is just doing this for attention and not really supporting all the stupidity. This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg either. Most of my discontent comes from the environment she is raising my niece in. My sister should know better than to stay with such an abhorrent piece of shit that would steal birthday money from his own daughter. I hate that she is not seeing the possible consequences of her actions and that she is raising my niece in the same toxic environment that we promised to never raise our future children in. I know she probably thinks we turned out ok but the difference is that we had eachother to fall on when things got bad. My niece has no sibling. She is going to go through this shit alone. It’s fucking heartbreaking.

    So yeah. That’s my week in a nutshell….. I want some peanuts now….

    Happy Friday peeps.

    • yallll family is something else aren’t they. we’re all trying and a lot of us are failing. it’s unfortunate that it’s often that support of our family that gets pushed to the side the most often, maybe because we think it can’t go away. take care of yourself in the process with your sister, sometimes the best thing you can do is listen to someone when they show you they don’t want you help!

  18. Guys,I’m at a LGBTQ refugee solidarity party right now and know no one except for the guy I’m mentoring who is pretty high, tbh, and who keeps telling me who he has slept with in the room.
    So just another regular evening of Doreen and the gays.
    Have a good night everyone!
    P.S.: Anyone going to Clexacon?
    I was thinking about throwing a whirlpool “Welcome to the Resistance” party one night.

      • We’ve now proceeded to “Please allow me to give your number to this random Lesbian I have in my phone because I know you’ll perfect for each other” part of the evening.
        Said Lesbian will have
        a.Just (days or weeks ago) have broken up with her long term gf/wife
        b.Just gotten out of rehab(Heroin, meth or alcohol)
        c.have a current drug problem(You’ll be SO good for her)
        d.have a current long term relationship/wife (but it’s not working,I can tell)
        e.all of the above

        And she will neverever call me back.

    • Misread this as “he’s pretty high and keeps telling me he has slept with the moon,” which would’ve made for a much more entertaining evening for ya.

      • Since “very high Khaled” has been asking my very honest opinion of his different fetishes(very loudly, mind you) how they relate into a bdsm context and what I’m into, my evening was interesting enough.
        My role is to be positively reaffirming, so actually, most of my night was like,”Khaled, it is great that you’re exploring your love for licking feet!Just make sure you made up a safe word when you get into a master/slave situation again. A safeword can be a word like orange and it means…”
        I’m living the life.
        But seriously, throwing a bunch of grown gay men from a sexuality denying culture into the murky waters of Berlin is like setting a bunch of horny rabbits loose among wolves.
        When I volunteered for the project I thought we’d be going to the museum a lot.Oh well.

  19. Hey all! This whole #resist thing is basically taking over my life. However, more importantly,


    We’re meeting on Thursday evenings, every 2 weeks to start out with.




    Come drink some beers with some queers Spokane <3 <3 <3

  20. I’ve got a pro-choice protest to attend tomorrow morning, and then I’m taking to the woods for the day to get/stay really high and be one with nature. Also possibly eat too much birthday cake as we are holding a late birthday party for me while we’re out there.
    Monday afternoon, a bunch of us are going to a senator’s local office to register our feelings about DeVos before Tuesday’s vote. I’m sure he gives zero shits about us, a bunch of ladies and gays, but his office is going to have to deal with us anyway because that woman is a goddamn nightmare.

  21. So this week has been a shit show, but I’ve been rewatching Supergirl with my girlfriend who’s watching it for the first time, and we’ve just gotten to the Sanvers adorableness. She’s so excited about it and it warms my heart :)
    Oh, and I started a new job which is sooo much better than the one I’m leaving, even though it pays just as badly, haha.

    • I’m leaving my current job at the end of February for one that pays LESS but I won’t hate myself at the end of every day anymore. Sometimes that trade off is really worth it.

  22. Hey, Autostraddle fam!
    It feels like ages since I’ve stopped by the open thread and I almost don’t know where to begin.

    I got my very first job (at 26 -_-) around late September working at the pizza place running out of the local college. On the one hand, I’m glad I actually have a job but lately it’s starting to run me a bit ragged. There was kind of a big fuck up over the winter break because my last check of the year, the one I was going to use to buy my family Christmas presents, didn’t come until early January because it turns out that my checks, the ones I’ve always got in person, had my home address wrong and my manager, in his infinite wisdom, thought it’d be better to mail it before the college would close for break instead of having it for me to pick up when I went there that Friday so for almost three weeks I was just a seething ball of anger assuming the worst, that even though it’s ten minutes away from my house, two little envelopes couldn’t make the distance from there to my house during the business holiday season.

    But good news! I got my first mini-comic printed and I’m so proud. Even though it’s kind of sloppy, I’m just so happy because it shows that despite feeling like a 26 rookie in almost every sense of the word, I am capable of actually completing something like “Yay, I made this!” But it spurred me into keep making stuff and it’s given me a weird Ash Ketchum-like sense of determination to keep forging ahead, learning more, improving my art even when lately, my manager is really pushing me to work more. Last week I worked five days a week, save for one day from 5pm to almost 11pm and then this week three days with the same shift having to deal with my hyperactive college-age co-workers. T_T

    Oh and since it’s been on my mind lately, I’ve started to experiment with…*whispers* vaporwave. Well, it started as curiosity after coming home one night and being overstimulated and nauseous and putting a vaporwave mix on to decompress and then I started reading up and it and what I’ve read about how to make it didn’t seem too difficult to learn. Just from what I’ve read about what makes good sources to make vaporwave tracks, I actually have a bit from years of foraging around free mp3 blogs and have actually started keeping a hard-copy list in a little notebook I got as a white elephant gift of things in my iTunes library I could start experimenting with. Because the last two weeks have been so chaotic, so far I’ve just been making loops and figuring things out in Audacity so I don’t have anything to show off yet but I mean, if you guys are cool with it, hopefully same time next week, I’ll have something up on my soundcloud to share. :)

    • welcome back amanda! hey you know what i’ve never completed or even come close to? a mini-comic. keep forging bb

  23. I did a good jorb these two weeks teaching science to arizonans, but now i’m exhausted. pls send sammiches.

  24. This week felt like it lasted for years. I’ve never been heavy into politics until now (because shit just got as real as it gets and I can’t not pay attention rn), so it’s basically been horrors on top of horrors on top of just the overwhelming volume of shit to pay attention to in normal politics. I can’t tear my face away from Twitter and the news, and it’s starting to feel terrible. I probably should step back a bit.

    One of the good things that has come from absorbing a meteric ton of information over the last week is that POCs and Indigenous folks have been kind enough to put out a lot of “Dear Dumb White People” threads and articles, and I’ve been spending a lot of time listening and reflecting on how to be a better white person in general to basically everyone white people have a tendancy to wrong with disgusting regularity. I got curious about whose land I’m living on after reading tons of stuff about colonialism from Indigenous folks,and it turns out that this is Duwamish land, and they have a longhouse/cultural center in West Seattle, and I want to make plans to go there and learn more about them. It feels kind of messed up that no one talked about them in school. I guess maybe no one wanted to explain to ten year olds how white settlers reneged almost immediately on a treaty they signed with the Duwamish before burning down all their stuff and stealing their land and not paying them for it for one hundred years…


    “Sobering” and “grim” are good words for this week. Also, the Patton Oswalt quote “Let’s cling to each other like wreckage in a storm” has seemed pretty apt. Hopefully next week will be better, but if it isn’t, I’m glad I’m not alone in all of this.

    • twitter breaks and listening help, and that’s about as much as we can do right now. and alone you aren’t!

  25. hey!

    I hope you had a lovely week! So, I think I am finally learning to acknowledge my needs. I felt really empowered and inspired and just happy bc I am experiencing a lot of disability solidarity with wonderful people and my activist heart is full of new plans for advocacy and revolution, but at the same time my depression has been a real asshole lately. also, I’m panicky bc of exams for uni. I just do not understand how one day, I can be so TIRED and drained that I don’t even get up or eat anything, and am full of self-hate, but the next day, knowing I’ll meet up with people who make me feel motivated, I feel sooo good. But the next day, all the happiness is gone and I worry I am a burden and it feels like ages since I’ve been okay and yesterday, where I was happy, feels like it is long gone, like a distant time. But keeping in touch and making new plans with my wonderful friends, some of them brandnew and a breath of fresh air, shooting stars, makes me believe in myself. I just do not understand, who is this depressed indivual? When I’m this down, it also feels difficult to empathize with others who are struggling and everyone seems boring, except my activist friends…Love, M.

  26. oh and also, some disability related stuff, maybe some fellow disgaybleds can encourage me?
    1) disabled solidarity is the best
    2) my back is hurting a lot more than usual lately, but it’s just so…normal?
    3) I feel like a grandma, but I think that is also an experience a lot of us share
    4) I don’t know how to tell my personal assistance that she can’t keep coming late to fetch me for uni bc if she does, I am going to miss a lot of uni. Which is already happening. Because she’s always late.

    • Hello from an Asexual Aspie!
      My period is about to start, so I feel quesy.
      The good news is that I recently exchanged contact information with several of my classmates, including a fellow Aspie. We disabled queers need to stick together now more than ever.
      Best of luck to y

    • I too frequently feel like a grandma. Actually, I think my grandma feels better than I do most days and she’s 96 soooooo….yeah I get what you mean.

      I think the best approach is to be pretty straightforward about the person being late? Like “Hey, I’m not sure if you know this but when I asked to be picked up at [time], it’s because I have class at [slightly later time] and I really don’t want to miss class because it makes things much harder to pick up when I’m always late. If you have a conflict that’s preventing you from picking me up at [time], could you let me know so we can try to find a way to work around that?”

  27. I feel kind of bad because I didn’t go to the women’s march in my city. I didn’t go though a) because I was catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen in months and b) because there had been a horrific murder of multiple people on one of the main streets of the city a day earlier. But I do want to pledge to be more politically active this year and attend more rallies and marches.

    But on the bright side, I am going to my city’s pride march on Sunday with a bunch of my friends! It’s my second one and I’m really excited because last year I had to leave before I actually got to do any marching. I really want to take my dog but I worry that she might get stepped on or she might get anxious.

    Last night I went out for drinks with some friends and I had a really good time. We ate mexican and then went to a bar and I drank a cosmo which made me feel fancy. Although it cost like $16 which was probably more than I should spend… But we talked about how much we loved Autostraddle so that was nice :) I also bumped into a school friend who I hadn’t seen in a while and we had a really nice chat.

    Overall I’m feeling pretty optimistic for the year ahead because 2017 has treated me fairly well so far!

  28. Hi y’all. How has it only been a week. I swear to Maya Angelou it’s been at least a year, maybe a decade.

    I decided that for me, 2017 is going to be the year of letting go. Letting go of the things that are standing in my way of being a fully realized and (relatively) unburdened human, and that starts with my parents. I’m deciding to just not play their game anymore. I quit. It’s a bad game — the only winning move is not to play. It’s hard, but I know it’s better for me.

    In other news, I had a guy I knew in high school facebook message me yesterday, saying basically that he is a straight, white, dude and has realized he needs to be way more woke and do I have suggestions for him for books to read? It made me feel like my life has some kind of meaning because he knew he could come to me for reliable and helpful information which has made an enormous difference in my psyche this week.

    So I am putting together a “Woke 101” list of books from intro to advanced level reading for the white folks and straight dudes of the world to learn from and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE if you would leave me your favorites/suggestions. I’d especially love suggestions from POC for the books you want us white folks to read!

    *10 points to your Hogwarts house if you got the movie reference up there.

  29. Went to the DC Women’s March last Saturday and it was nice and felt good, but basically every day since then has been met with relentless, incremental terror. On a personal level, I’ve also been feeling really mentally unorganized and forgetful lately so I decided to go back to HabitRPG/Habitica. It’s only been like a day but it’s been really helpful so far.

    Also it’s Chinese New Year, so happy CNY! My parents are in China visiting family and I got a few audio messages from some of my relatives. It’s kinda bringing me back into my predictable gloomy, second-generation mood of “I wish I could tell them longer messages that come just from my brain and my heart and not from cross-referencing the internet for accuracy, and also I wish I could see any of my relatives or family friends in a way that doesn’t require 12 hours on a plane and an overnight train ride.” To be honest, sometimes I’m not quite sure how people who see me once every 5~6 years and whom I can’t fluently have a real conversation with can have a genuine familial love for me. It’s not to say that I’m ungrateful or skeptical, it’s just been on my mind sometimes.

    But for more positive things, I’m back at my part time job after winter break, which always makes me happy to be at. And I drew a bunch of stuff this past week for homework purposes. These are from the aquarium and the march:

    Wishing everyone well :-)

  30. Hi all!! I definitely hit a downward spiral this week from not being able to turn off the news/get away from the hell that is unfolding around us. I feel this need to stay informed all the time and know what rallys are happening so I’m on FB but also I really need to take a break from FB for my sanity but does that make me a horrible person for wanting to not be informed of what’s going on!?!

    I also found out that the family who I’m house sitting for needs me to leave a month earlier than planned (end of feb instead of end of march) so that’s something.

    All this kind of culminated into a panicky work week where i just couldn’t stop working because I was so anxious and angry but also I got a shit ton of stuff done, so silver lining?
    I did watch a movie with my rabbits last night so that was nice, and my girlfriend’s dad took me out to dinner tonight, which was fun!

    Hope everyone else is hanging on! Come over and watch a movie with bunnies, it’ll make you feel better!

    • I too have been on a productive tear thanks to the goings on. I unfortunately havent had RABBITS TO WATCH MOVIES WITHHHH

  31. What I am doing is trying to get rid of the don’t even fuckin know what I have anymore and digest solid food after about a week of liquids, so much liquids. My guts feel like an abandoned factory that someone decide to switch the power and see if anything can be made. There is groaning.
    Saturday I thought it was just a cold but oh man did things spin out of control. Monday my fever broke and I thought the end was in sight, woe to me who misjudged the sickness’s might.

    This week I’ve probably had over 3 gallons of liquid trying to keep from dehydration. x_x

    Um marching music that is positive, feminine and modern

    Revolution by Helly Luv
    the music video for it was filmed in an abandoned village about a mile from Kurdish forces fighting ISIL and was dedicated to victims of terrorism

    Not modern and very much memorial to those who have gone before, risked it all to report on atrocity only to be forgotten by history

    Inmate 4859 by Sabaton

    Captain Witold Pilecki:
    an officer in the Polish resistance who volunteered to be interned into Auschwitz for the purpose of obtain intel on to what was actually happening there and escape to report it. He was successful and his official report, over 100 pages called Witold’s Report, was the first comprehensive report the Allies had on the Holocaust.
    He was murdered after a mock trial by Stalinist government in 1948 and the records of his heroism during WWII was suppressed until the USSR began to crumble.

    I look a Trump and Pence and I do not see buffoons, I see Stalin and Gobbels. Uncle Joe killed just as many as people as Hitler, we cannot forget this.

  32. I had to miss the March for work, which sucked but it was the second week in a row that I saw little girls in the waiting room defying those around them with their book choice-the first girl was the star wars encyclopaedia, the second was a marvel storybook. Both times they were surrounded by kids with Disney princess stuff like it had exploded on them. Stay true little ones.
    Footage of the march gave me hope for the first time in months.
    I did a little rise up thing on iornament and posted it on Instagram. Yesterday I tried a snowflake patterned one made up of the words “winter is coming” based on that placard that read “they called us snowflakes-well winter is coming” but I’m not 100% happy with it. Might post anyway. Basically I’m trying to weave small acts of resistance into my day to day -mostly through social media shares and wearing angry t-shirts. Dayjob has me absolutely swamped right now.

    Gave my parents a gentle call out over privilege this week. Which was a joy. Still not sure they get it. Plus I was trying to not piss them off too much as I’m still (as in have no intention of unless his political views change) speaking to my grandfather and it was his birthday this week-such a sore spot.

    Ok soooo to lighten the mood- weird shit I overheard at work this week;
    “Are we fisting or…”
    For real. The innocence is refreshing in these dark times. How I keep a straight* face when they make comments like this is beyond me. Especially when someone else is looking at me with the “you heard that right?” eyebrow.

    Song choice: Everything’s Political by Skunk Anansie. It’s less healing more scream at the ceiling about the fact we can’t escape it all but eh. If you want good British 90s/00s jump and scream/angst soaked rock music with female qpoc singer who has pipes like nothing on earth – Skunk Anansie is it IMO.

    Have great weekends folks. I’m working from home with my wife today woop woop!

    *I mean like impassive? Blank? We need a term of our own.

  33. I’ll probably post a more drawn out how my week has gone later. But, just a quick question.
    Does anyone know of a dream symbolism book that doesn’t say stuff like ‘mother is a symbol of nurturing, father is a symbol of protection’ (my mum is a symbol of both protection AND nurturing – two sides of same coin, my dad is a symbol of fun but never got that you’re ‘meant to be’ different as a parent than you are as a little sibling) and ‘bride and groom are a symbol of the unity of masculine and feminine elements in your life’ (what do two brides symbolise then?)? I never realised before how sexist/heterosexist my dream symbolism book is but it’s getting on my nerves now.
    Or just advice as to how to analyse your own dreams on an individual level without making them mean whatever you want and ignoring any advice they might have to offer?

  34. Popping in on Saturday morning to say hi, I’m thankful for this community.

    I have no words for what’s going on in this country today.

    Except Resist.

    i want to send you all consensual internet hugs and tell you I love you.


  35. It has been A Week.

    Today I had a follow-up with the sleep specialist (yes, on Saturday…I am as puzzled as you are that there’s a specialist who has appointments on Saturdays) after my sleep study and turns out that I am tired all the time likely due to narcolepsy. So that’s a thing.

    I’m definitely a bit nervous about adding Ritalin into the drug cocktail I’m already taking because things are pretty dang good! My ankle is doing better and I can almost think about running again! Pelvic PT is giving me some good stretches that really help with the pain! And even my mood is doing really good considering it is Winter Hell and I haven’t really been able to exercise and then Everything Depressing And Frightening In The News. But hey, I’m willing to give it a chance if it means that I can do more than 1 thing without feeling the need to sleep on the couch for 5 hours and also not do any driving bc of fears of falling asleep. I’m also nervous because how 4 different doctors are prescribing me meds and in my experience it is better to let one office take care of things bc then things aren’t getting contraindicated and shit.

    On the down side there may be More Stuff Going On and I need to see an endocrinologist to rule out (or not rule out) hypoglycemia/diabetes stuff or thyroid stuff because I almost passed out in PT last week. I can’t wait until my average doctors appointments a week gets down to like…2. It’s at 4.6 right now.

  36. This playlist is amazing, but Erin, if you’re not already familiar with them, you should listen to Girls Aloud. They’re my favorite girl group ever. I would recommend starting with their albums, Biology and Tangled Up.

  37. My fiance and I separated after two years, I moved into a new apartment, quit my day job so I could pursue my dream of becoming a singer/poet with just a couple hundred bucks to my name and went to Savers and bought a shit ton of clothes I didn’t dare wear when I was in a relationship and trying to be all sexy shmexy (one of the sweaters has a bunch of irritated looking giraffes on it – fuck the statement shirts that are all the rage now… this one says it all)… all of which resulted in my mom recommending I see a therapist rofl. And everyone keeps saying how bad Trump’s week has gone! :) So, yeah… keep fighting the good fight ladies! Hang in and hang on!

  38. You’ve all been duped by msm. What exactly were you marching for? You don’t recognize THE ENEMY! rump hired women for high levels of authority back when it was unheard of. He came out for minorities. Hillary persecuted and threatened Bill’s victims, arranged to have our servicemen killed and has a body count of over 120! She is a long term pedophile (look up child rape Cathy O’Brien, for starters). Dirty Bernie was writing misogynist porn back when he was a thieving communist on the dole. The mindless actors and media darlings you fawn over are all under Weinstein/Soros globalist control. These are the evil greedmongers who are pushing for SHARIA LAW, in which Female Genital Mutilation, Beheading of Gays, and Child Rape are the norm. Linda Sarsour is selling you all out. She supports the deathcult that wants to disfigure and murder us. Please pull up any youtube video on Brigette Gabriel. She is a brave woman from Lebanon.

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