Friday Open Thread: Be Honest, How Nerdy Are Your Weekend Plans

Hey there friends and happy Friday! Welcome to the Friday Open Thread! This is my first time hosting and I’m excited. How are y’all doing wherever you are? If you’re not at A-Camp 8.0, that’s all right cause neither am I. It’s okay to be sad. I’m sure you’ve got lots of other fun stuff happening this weekend, and other cool things going on in your life. Or maybe you’re working over the weekend and are not so thrilled about that.

I’m looking forward to going to the Vancouver Comic Arts Festival, aka VanCaf in my city this weekend. I think some of you Toronto folks were at TCaf last weekend? My weekend plan probably doesn’t surprise any of you who’ve been reading my Ask Your Friendly Neighborhood Lesbrarian column. Surprise! I am a huge book and comics nerd. The annual VanCaf is kinda like a pilgrimage for me, one that is TERRIBLE for my wallet. Last year there were so many rad indie comics makers and so many of them were queer and I could barely stop myself from spending my entire month’s budget. I found one of my all-time favorite comics there last year, O Human Star by Blue Delliquanti. This Sarah Anderson comic really is my life:

How do you limit yourself when it comes to spending money on that thing, whatever it is for you, that you just can’t resist? And if I limit myself to buying, say, just two comics, how do I decide which ones? Please help me. VanCaf was packed last year, which I’m sure was great for the organizers and exhibitors but kind of bananas for people attending, so my friend is planning a system to avoid that, which probably mostly means getting out of bed earlier than I want to on weekends. But apparently books are one of the only things I’ll get up early for, since a few weeks ago I got up VOLUNTARILY at 5AM on a Saturday morning to do this thing called the Dewey’s Readathon, which entails trying to read as much as humanly possible in 24 hours while a bunch of book nerds in other parts of the world do the same thing.

Besides weekend plans, what else is going on in your life? I’m almost officially done my librarian degree, which is exciting but also terrifying. It means pretty soon I’m going to have to start applying to grown-up, full-fledged librarian jobs. I know some people hate being in school, but I’m kind of a Hermione who thrives in school and is scared of the real life workplace. If someone would pay me, I would honestly probably just keep getting degrees in all of the new things I discover I’m interested in until retirement. I know working as a librarian full-time is gonna be awesome, but transition can be tough, you know?

So tell me all about you and your life! What are you doing this weekend? How nerdy is it on a scale of super nerdy to not at all nerdy? Do you have any tips for me to save my bank account at VanCaf? Are you at a transitional period in your life or are you all settled into a routine? How do you feel about where you are?


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Known in some internet circles as Casey the Canadian Lesbrarian, Casey Stepaniuk is a writer and librarian who holds an MA in English literature. She writes regularly for Book Riot and Inside Vancouver about LGBTQ2IA+ and/or bookish topics as well as a monthly column about queer books at Autostraddle called Ask Your Friendly Neighborhood Lesbrarian. Topics and activities dear to her heart include cats, bisexuality, libraries, queer (Canadian) literature, running, and drinking tea. She runs the website Casey the Canadian Lesbrarian, where you can find reviews of queer Canadian books, archives of Ask Your Friendly Neighbourhood Lesbrarian, and some other queer, bookish stuff. Find her on Twitter, Goodreads, Facebook, and Tumblr.

Casey has written 20 articles for us.

137 Comments

  1. I have to confess, my weekend plans are pretty nerdy. I was recently given “My Favorite Thing is Monsters”, so I’m planning to actually get started on that. My weekend also always revolves around Doctor Who, so there’s that.

    (Can I just say, for all the Whovians here, that I’m so excited for this week’s episode?? Bill goes on a date and after last week’s cliffhanger, plus the Pope… I’m stoked.)

  2. I am getting my hair cut on Saturday morning (not nerdy, except insofar as I will look more like Rachel Maddow afterwards, so maybe kind of nerdy?) and then driving to Chicago for a derby bout (nerdy) for which I am an alternate (super nerdy; due to a lifetime of nerdiness I am only just discovering that I can be athletic and boy howdy it is a struggle sometimes, so I tend to warm the bench).

    I just gave my notice at work this week, which means shit’s gettin’ real: I am moving next month to Philadelphia to be with my girlfriend. I am excited, because we will get to do normal life things together on the reg, but I am also a little sad because I’ve really liked living in Madison and was just starting to make friends here. Now I’m going to have to do all those scary transitional things again, which sounds exhausting. The plus side is, this time I won’t be doing the scary transitional things all on my own.

  3. I really need to start keeping a diary just for the purpose of having something to talk about in the Friday Open Threads. Earlier this week, I thought of something that I thought would be great to talk about on Autostraddle, but there were no articles where it made sense to comment so I thought, “I’ll save it for Friday!”

    And now it’s Friday and I have no idea what it was I wanted to talk about.

    My weekend plans are to watch some old movies, play some old video games, and read some old comic books. So, pretty nerdy.

  4. I’m headed to the beach this weekend. It’s suppose to rain a lot while I’m there next week. Really the question is, will I be reading indoors or outdoors?

  5. Nerd stuff? Dungeons and Dragons Sunday!!!! We are gonna get so much nerd all over the place. I also started a new Minecraft world this week and my house totally needs a roof and possibly something to shoot chickens through flowing lava because I ask you: What else makes a home if not agreived squaking?

    Other life stuff includes a bridal shower (somebody else’s), meeting the little brother of the amazing woman I’ve rece

  6. I’m headed to the beach this weekend. It’s suppose to rain a lot while I’m there next week. Really the question is, will I be reading indoors or outdoors?

    The cartoon is an accurate description of my budget.

  7. I am playing World of Warcraft all stinking weekend. It’s supposed to rain and I give none of the fucks. We had company all weekend last weekend (the in-laws, what’s more…) and I have been looking forward to this Friday so hard it hurts. There will be no productivity. None. Unless I decide I want to meticulously catalog something for the sheer joy of nerd-like organization.

    Ok, I will probably do the laundry. But that is IT.

    • I am planning a very similar weekend!
      I’m dogsitting for my boss, and while I’ll miss my own dogs and my partner, I’m really jazzed to just be able to sit alone in the quiet and play WoW every night until I pass out.

  8. Hi, Casey! Great name, I gotta say. I hope you enjoy the Comics festival! It sounds pretty awesome, at least, going just by the name. Congratulations also on your degree! I hope your job searching goes okay as well. My fingers and toes are crossed for you. Also, I can definitely sympathize with trying to curb spending on stuff you really love!

    Me, I’m here at home this weekend, and am not going to A-Camp (It sounds great, but it’s far away, I’ve got work, and I think I might be too old to go, lol). I got the game “Prey” this week, and I will finally have time to play it some, so I’m looking forward to that. I guess that’s fairly nerdy. Confession: I was one of the folks who hated school and was so, so glad to be done with it, and much of my school years weren’t exactly great times in my life. That said, I think I’m okay where I am now in life, I guess. I’ve been in some bad places in the past, so I guess that’s mostly me being appreciative that I’m not there anymore.

  9. Tomorrow is supposedly the day my Nintendo Switch arrives, so that’s hugely nerdy and extremely exciting! I’m going to spend a lot of time on the couch!

    …with one break, at least, to go see the HARTFORD YARD GOATS play some baseball tomorrow night, which isn’t all that nerdy but I’m excited because they’re called the YARD GOATS. I am so going to buy myself a hat with a goddamned goat on it. Minor league baseball is such a strange blessing and I’m probably way more excited about this than is called for considering how terrible they are as a baseball team, but whateverrrr.

    As for saving money at cons & such… if I’m going to a con or something like that, I give myself a budget a little above “I really, really should not spend more than this…” because I don’t have THAT much willpower, and then I bring that amount in cash and that’s my spending money. It doesn’t always work because I do still have cards & Android pay, but I increase the mental checkpoints to have a conversation with myself to say “do I really want this?”

  10. This weekend I am painting my cat’s room (no, that’s not a typo. My cat really has her own room.) I also need to buy a few more things for my trip to England next month, but that will probably wait until next weekend.

    Unrelated to weekend plans, but very important: I just watched the second Wynonna Earp trailer. OMG! I’m so excited for season 2!

  11. Saturday is the Scottish Highland Games in northern Maryland. Going to enjoy watching men and women in kilts toss rocks (shot putt), 28 and 56 pound weights, and the caber (think telephone pole); play bagpipes, drums, and fiddles; dance; and speed spin and weave. Not exactly nerdy, but fun.

    Rest of the weekend will be playing Guild Wars with my friends, and maybe playing a bit of SNES. D&D was last weekend.

  12. I am going to see the Bridgeport Symphony Orchestra tomorrow with my girlfriend and her parents, which feels moderately nerdy. It should be nice! I am then going to spend Sunday with said girlfriend exploring southwestern Connecticut breweries so I can try as many as possible before I move to the G.D. SOUTH in two weeks! I’m moving to New Orleans and away from the northeast for the first time in all my life! I’m excited and scared and it’s going to be v. hot.

    I am also fomo’ing a little about A-camp. It looks so fun! Maybe next year.

  13. I don’t know where it falls on the nerdy scale, but I’m finishing my second dissertation chapter, hosting a “Crafternoon” tomorrow, hosting a queer brunch in the dining hall on Sunday, and going to an LGBT pilgrimage to the cathedral basilica of Newark on Sunday! Woohoo! Also, once I finish the chapter-writing or my birthday arrives – whichever comes first (my birthday is on Monday) – I’m going to let myself ink some new fountain pens.

    Okay, that sounds fairly high on the nerdy scale after all. I’d never heard of the 24-hour readathon, though!

    To stick to a budget for VanCaf, perhaps you could pay for everything in cash. That way, knowing what cash you have in your wallet will be more of a restriction than a hypothetical number of what you intended to spend. You can also remind yourself of the space and weight your new acquisitions will take up in your bag and on your shelves…but take this advice with a grain of salt, as this is coming from someone who bought about twenty books in two months last summer and came back from Spain with a very heavy bag indeed. Budget-wise, I did fine, but oh, my back!

  14. …I am most definitely spending my weekend sewing so I can dress up like a boy from a video game maybe two people have heard of. I guess that’s needy enough?

    Also, a babyqueer who follows me on Instagram told me that she hopes she looks like me when she’s an adult and it’s the weirdest/nicest complement I’ve gotten in a while and I’m still kind of processing it 24 hours later. I just needed to share that.

  15. I am trying really hard to decide what my plans for tomorrow should be. It will be my 8 year anniversary of my first therapy session, I don’t always celebrate it, but this year I want to do something special to celebrate that first step to recovery and like still being alive basically. So far I think I’m going to make pizza for dinner. And maybe I’ll watch some of The Muppet Show, for fun, but also to get some ideas for a 5-8 pg critical essay relating the show to gsws issues that I need to write in the next 4 weeks.

  16. Hi Casey! I also have a MA! I am also on the cusp of graduating with my MLIS (August)! I am jorbhunting! Feel free to message me if you want to talk about librarian stuff. Will only note that I am on the STEM-y/academic side of librarianship, so my experiences may be a bit of a different world.

    I’d say my weekend plans are pretty nerdy in that I am going to simultaneously work on my master’s project and prep for my big bad job interview on Tuesday – they are sort of related. I am happy to be done with formal coursework presumably forever, as I only have my project left to do before graduation, but it has been pointed out to me that given my penchant for learning and picking up new skills, it’s unlikely I will never actually take a class again :p In fact, I sort of have a wishlist now of the things I would like to learn/work on, as I have to sort of prioritize. The most recent addition to the list was Python. I’m not a hardcore computer geek, but it is conceivable I might need some Python skill depending on what sort of job I land in, so yeah…

  17. I like a guy and it is kind of confusing. I still feel like a lesbian though which is also confusing. I kind of feel like a traitor to the queer community.
    I got 3 A’s and 1 C this semester. I finally have all of the hard classes out of the way which means I may be able to graduate with a 3.7 😀 if I keep it up.
    I’m attempting to do a lot of psychic things. This is super important to me. I am a woowoo woman and I love it.
    Also I gently cut off a lot of people from my life. Meaning if they want to contact me they have to make an effort. I’m being selfish and not showing up for people who make no effort for me. I feel like I should feel lonely, but overall I feel great. And I deleted instagram from my phone (I OCCASIONALLY redownload to see what is up) and I LOVE it. I feel refreshed and new after 7 days without insta and might delete my accouny one day.
    I have 2 jobs this summer and work 6 days out of the week, but I think I can do this. I work at a smoothie/juice place and a greenhouse. Greenhouse is obviously my favorite job lol. I am kind of excited. I was hired to do a photoshoot (designing) and am working on a new script with a friend. Still zine making.

    Hope everyone is having a happy sexy weekend!

    • Yes, seconded liking a guy does NOT make you a traitor to the queer community. My partner is a guy, doesn’t mean I’m not queer af. It can be a journey, but remember bisexuality and pansexuality and fluidity defined other ways are totally valid. <3 <3

    • Nothing wrong at all Kayla. But I understand the feeling. I get the same thing sometimes. I even went through a phase where new meds made me lose ALL attraction to women. Period. It terrified me. I felt like I had lost a part of who I was. And I felt like an imposter in the queer community.

      It took time, but things balanced out. Although admittedly, the scale is still tipped more towards men.

      Then I start to question where I belong and go into Starbucks to cool down….

      Ripped, well groomed hunk is painting romantic backgrounds with watercolors. Yes please.

      Then the most drop dead gorgeous blonde woman sits down. Plaid, shyly biting her pen and brushing back her hair as she writes in her designer notebook. She is a goddess. I’m in love. And then I remember that I’m o.k. I can’t control what my body feels. I just go with it.

  18. Considering I’m interning at a publishing house that specialises in comics and graphic novels, I’d say my weekend plans aren’t that nerdy in comparison! Going for a (long delayed) spa day with my older sister and my mum, which would be great if I didn’t have to be up at 6am for the appointment. Meeting my best friend on Sunday for my belated birthday dinner. I’m also going to graduate this year, so I get all the weird feelings of being in a transitional period in life. I haven’t had a class since March, and it was all essays until the 8th May so I haven’t been a proper student for a while? Ngl I was SO HAPPY when I handed in that final essay, and I kind of feel like I’ve been waiting to finish. I was kind of anxious during the final week of classes, but aside from that there’s just a sense of finally being DONE. I’m officially graduating in July and this internship will pretty much fill the time until then. It also gives me an excuse when my parents ask me if I’m searching for a job. I can just cover my ears and go ‘LA LA LA INTERNSHIP LA LA LA’.

  19. My plans for the weekend are admittedly pretty nerdy. I will be reading political manifestos to decide who to vote for as well as watching a boatload of Trek, Cosmos (because Neil DeGrasse Tyson is awesome and one of my favourite scientists!) and Bill Nye.

    On the less nerdy side my football team (soccer) are playing their last game of the season on Sunday so I will be watching that with bittersweet feelings.

    I hope everyone also has a great qnd nerdy weekend too.

  20. It’s easy to limit spending money on that irresistible thing when that thing is food and going to feed you for a week or more if you freeze it. >_>
    I have only 1 unreasonable impulse buy under my belt, only cost me about 30 bucks with shipping and I was kinda (for me) flush with dosh at that moment.
    So I might be a bit of miser in comparison to normal people.

    But choosing a work of art that is also entertainment is haaaard.
    The best I can suggest chose ones with re-read value, which doesn’t not sound like much of a helpful suggestion if you’re a bibliophile.
    But really look at that comic, how much does the art speak to you and do you see yourself biting your lip or something in anticipation each time the story’s at THAT PART (you know the one) every time you read it.

    Experimenting with food is kinda nerdy when I think about it.
    But practicing this postmodern jukebox cover of Seven Nation Army with more of Eartha Kitt kick cannot be nerdified.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB6HY8r983c

    unless I try to do the Harley Quinn voice thing

    • Oooh, the re-read value thing is a good idea. I love the experience of reading comics but I read them so fast and then am always sad when they are over. You’re right that it’s totally worth it if you can re-read them.

      • Exactly! It’s what makes me sad about webcomics that are not longer hosted and never got printed.
        Cannot enjoy them again.
        Yeah those of us who aren’t illustrators or critique visual arts and are more about da words we tend to blow throw comics fast.
        Re-readability five-high.

  21. My best technique for avoiding spending more than I should/want to at conventions and similar events is to do the CASH ONLY method, where I leave my debit card at home and only take with me the amount I’ve budgeted to spend in cash. This only works if I set pick a reasonable amount. Like, at Comic Con this year, I’m bringing $150 for the day I’m going, because I know there’s going to be a lot of stuff I’m going to want to get and it’s not realistic to go to such a huge shopping opportunity and say, “I’m only going to spend twenty dollars!”

    That Read-A-Thon thing sounds like a blast! I’m definitely going to check that out.

    As for this weekend, I’m doing a lot of cleaning, a lot of catching up on homework, and packing to go hang out with my dad for a week. Not very interesting, but not the worst weekend plans I’ve had, either.

    • Yeah, I’m trying to decide what is a reasonable amount for my budget…it might be like $40 which isn’t bad.
      I definitely recommend the readathon! It’s a lot of fun and a good way to finally read some books or comics that you’ve been meaning to read but have never got around to.

      • I tend to budget for big, recurring events like Comic Con year-round. Ten bucks set aside this month, fifteen next month… whatever I have to spare. Some months it’s $25 and some months it’s nothing. That tends to help me with events where I’m surrounded by all the shinies.

        It looks really fun, and their website says they have readers encouraging readers, which sounds like a good way to meet new people/friends! I do have a stack of comics I haven’t had time to get through… Might as well potentially make a friend doing something I’d be doing anyway!

  22. My weekend plans presently consist of playing Skyrim (Oldrim, I need to upgrade my computer’s memory before I can play Newrim), and watching Cosmos (as I have both the old and new series on DVD it’s possible I’ll watch at least parts of both during the weekend). So pretty nerdy.

    As for my life right now? No, I’m not happy with it. I’ve had trouble finding work for over a year, but hopefully something will be happening soon.

  23. My weekend plans are pretty nerdy – I’m heading off for fieldwork. Going out bush in northern Australia for a few weeks to catch a heap of geckos for SCIENCE 😀 I haven’t been to this area before so I’m pretty excited to see it. I’m missing my gf but geckos are suuuuper cute <3 so that kind of makes up for it (pls don't tell her I said that haha)

    Also I second the paying with cash suggestion. This is actually how I budget when travelling and even at home for fortnightly pays – get out the money you can afford to spend in cash, and then only spend that. It doesn't always work! But it is good because then you can actually see how much you've spent and how much you have left 🙂

  24. This week I learned that my girlfriend has been lying to me ever since we first started dating 3 years ago about a fairly significant thing.

    Specifically, she’s faked almost every orgasm she (didn’t) have with me. And there have (not) been a lot.

    What the fuck?! That’s not something I asked her to do. I said over and over how willing and patient I am. Now I doubt everything. Hope y’all have had better weeks.

    #loveisalie2k17

  25. I am so with you on school forever. Can I just keep getting degrees? I am interested in everything. But I do plan to be a librarian/archivist. I’m about to start my MA in history and then I’ll be doing my MLIS after that. I get to work in a historical society as part of my fellowship for the MA and it’s going to be amazing.

    This weekend, I’m going to be a huge nerd; I co-run a group on tumblr called Social Shakespeare where we read one play each month via skype, usually 3-4 times so everyone gets to read, and we’re doing Twelfth Night this month. I have two readings this weekend, one where I’ll be reading stage directions and one as Sir Andrew Aguecheek. (I get to read Viola later this month and I’m so psyched.)

    Other than that, I’ve been playing a lot of Mass Effect. I’m still on Xbox 360 so I can’t play Andromeda… so of course I’m replaying the trilogy instead. It’s going to be a good, very nerdy weekend.

    • Yes, I am not alone about wanting to be a perpetual student! I’m especially interested in learning more about linguistics and learning more languages (and practising the ones I’ve already spent time learning). But I guess I’ll have to save some of that at least for another lifetime.

      Your tumblr group sounds so cool! The Twelfth Night is my fav Shakespeare play, I think.

  26. My weekend plans are not all that nerdy – Saturday I’m going techless for Shabbat for the first time and catching up on reading (and finishing some of my knitting projects), and Sunday I’m researching apartments in St Louis for law school, working on probability calculations for an RPG campaign I’m cooking up, and then watching the new episode of Silicon Valley Sunday night.

    • I hope you find a great place there near your school. I recently made acquaintances with a fellow Jew from St. Louis and they say’s it’s a great city that has been ruined by white people(by which they mean cis-het Christians).

  27. I have work during the day, but I am hoping to go to a pride event tomorrow night in Long Beach. Some of my friends can’t make it to pride(one is taking a date to pride) and I prefer not to go alone. I’m hoping to see if anyone else here or on the web is interested in going? If that doesn’t happen, I will just watch new season of Unbreakable Kimmy, which comes out today. Sunday is the parade, but I have to bee someone in the early afternoon, so I just may go to the beach early and get in the water while peacocking it as a friend called it once(it’s wear I have a lovely shade of purple lipstick, and matching blue bikini top). I’m just hoping people don’t say anything to me for being trans, cause despite being in SoCal, I’ve found out that we have a few newspapers marketed towards white nationalists, fuck.

    How is everyone’s week? The hear wave just started this week so we just went from late winter(not normal) to mid summer in a span of 3 days. Thankfully, I got the air conditioning in my car fixed, so I am saved for another SoCal Summer(which is usually Spring to mid-Fall). I also got news that the repair to my lens is done, so my compact camera setup I take with me everywhere will be back in action, which is great cause it forces me to think in field of view, which I am told can help with the creativity and brain activity.

    I spend mother’s day having a nice lunch with my Mother, Grandmother, and sister, and then meet up with my aunt at a lake with ducks. It was really nice, plus there was loads of ducks, geese, and a beautiful swans(I associate them as a queer bird). No images of the swans as people were feeding them bread. But, got pretty close to this friendly duck.

    View of the lake.

    Thank you for viewing and reading my post. Have a positive weekend!

  28. I’m updating slides on how machine learning algorithms learn racism & sexism & how to mathematically ‘unteach’ them. I would rather be watching Jane the Virgin. I’m also eating a lot of trader joes cookie butter chocolate bars. I splurge & stress shop at trader joes.

  29. Hi honeys!

    I’ve been in Austin all week and only bought 3 books! I bought “death is stupid” which is the best children’s book about when somebody you love dies like really ever, one hundred secret senses (Amy tan throwback! Read it the last 3 days, gonna leave it in a little free library bc I was deep into Amy tan in the late 90s and have been revisiting her stuff lately) and the love machine, which is by the lady who wrote Valley of the dolls. Campy trashy 70s novel about women who love barbiturates and chase around tv executives in the pursuit of fame or love. I also am halfway thru the body keeps score, which is a classic on trauma and somatics (for work! I’m lots of fun at parties!).

    And I’m flying home tomorrow so will probably be elbow deep in a novel and knitting for the better part of the day.

    Hope y’all have nerdy restive weekends! That is the upside of nerding, it tends to be sedentary for the most part, unless we’re talking larping or Pokémon go, which arent my preferred methods of having fun.

    Xoxoxo

  30. Hey, even if it’s technically already saturday here 🙂

    I thought after enjoying friday open treads on my way home after work for the last couple of months (and regularily reading other AS articles on my phone that made me wonder what the person next to me would think of me if they had a look) I might actually contribute some (admittedly not very exciting) thoughts myself.

    My weekend is not gonna be very nerdy at all, I’m afraid. As every saturday morning I’m going to teach gymnastics to a group of sometimes very funny but sometimes also very annoying 10-12 year-olds. They’re very motivated at the moment and have learned tons of new things lately and I must say I’m pretty proud of that and also I feel like it’s really helping me be less depressed for a bit, so that’s a win-win (highly recommended. If you’re in charge, you kinda can’t not go and kids seem to be good in making you feel appreciated. Also you need to move at least a bit, which for me always helps a little).
    Then I hopefully get my hair cut and maybe I’ll manage to buy a bikini (it’s been super hot here this week and I realised the great, but also very expensive bikini I bought in Australia for surfing started to fall apart 🙁 ) Does anyone ever find a pretty bikini that doesn’t move around when you, well, move a lot, but also doesn’t look like a typical sport’s bra? And has nice colours (preferably more than one and not pink)? Maybe I’m just asking too much.
    The maybe most nerdy part of my weekend is going to the libary, ’cause I need something to survive a weekend with my (kinda newly) divorced parents and my (kinda badly) ill grandma (and my sister). It’s going to be exhausting and weird and I really don’t feel like going but maybe I should just read the handmaid’s tale and feel grateful that everything could be worse.

    On a totally different note, does anyone have experience bringing up/discussing asexuality in therapy? I know my therapist is generally very lgbt friendly (I actually suspect her to be queer as well) and she knows I only ever dated one girl and I kind of hinted I’m not (and wasn’t) experiencing sexual attraction but I’d really like to discuss that in more detail ’cause it does make me really insecure and…lots of things, but I fear she’s going to dismiss that as a symptom of my depression? (I mean, I feel I could give her an asexuality 101, but I’d rather not spend my hour educating my therapist 😉 )

    Hope everyone has a nice sunny weekend (unless you’re already sunburnt)!!

    • I recently got a new bathing suit for the first time in like 8 years and I got a one piece, which I am really pumped about because it’s super cute, covers lots of my pale white skin so I don’t get sunburned, and totally stays in place. I don’t know how set you are on a bikini, but I just thought I’d bring that up as an option!

      Hmm about bringing up asexuality with your therapist. I was reading a book about queer and trans ppl talking about health care, and someone wrote about shitty things their therapist had done re: them talking about being ace. And it should totally not be your job to educate your therapist!! Are there any ace groups online or something where you are that might have resources on mental health folks who are ace positive?

    • Hi Sarah, I don’t know where you are or what your swimsuit budget is (why are swimsuits expensive, anyways?), but Athleta and Title Nine tend to have a variety of colors and styles that are meant to let you move. If you go someplace like that specializing in mostly athletic clothing for women, you may stand a better chance of finding a bikini that’s good to wear while moving.

      • Cause making the fabric is a couple more steps than the fabric for normal clothes, the seams etc have to be extras sturdy and do double duty.
        Also maybe cause sewing slippery, stretchy fabric is haaaaard. I’ve seen stretchy fabric escape somebody’s grip and take (read:break) the needle along with it.

        Cost=(Supplies)(Skill)(Time)

    • I have not had good experiences bringing up asexuality with therapists, even ones who are LGBTQ+ friendly otherwise :/ (one therapist was like versed enough in LGBTQ+ stuff to know about nonbinary folks and not need education but still very crappy about asexuality and tried to make it a symptom of the depressive episode I was in (and I’ve also had it used to delegitimize the symptoms of hypomania I’ve had because I didn’t “really” experience hypersexuality so therefore it wasn’t really hypomania and was like just anxiety (because yeah anxiety totally makes you euphoric and massively inflates your self-esteem. that’s TOTALLY what anxiety is like)).

      I don’t want to say don’t do it, but it’s my go-to policy for myself to not tell therapists that because it’s been pretty crappy from multiple therapists. If you decide to bring up asexuality, I hope it goes better than my experiences with doing so.

    • Ignorance about asexuality even within queer circles*shoots pointed look at the otherwise flawless Autostraddle*combined with me being autistic is why I continue to refuse to attend therapy even after multiple online tests indicated that I might have-or be on my way towards having-anxiety or depression. Plus, my family isn’t rich, and our insurance barely covers phsyciatric care.

  31. OMG! Are we talking about books?!! (o(*゚▽゚*)o)

    As one bibliophile talking to another, I’m not the one to give advice when it comes to restraint.

    Case in point; I recently I moved back “home” from Tokyo. Where I may or may not have spent $3k just on shipping… to send nearly 50 boxes of books… But who’s counting?

    No one believes my red carpet story. If you arrive at the bigger Tokyo stores at opening, the staff all line up to create this long procession like throne room where you are queen. As you walk by, they bow and give a, “Thank you for returning my glorious customer!” Sometime there is even a red carpet in the really big stores. If you shop somewhere enough, they may even put your photo on the wall, which in my case, they did (apparently I frequented bookstores just THAT much).

    Where was I going with this? Oh ya, restraint. So, I’m having trouble lately with sexual restraint too. Trying like mad to date, but apparently being trans makes that difficult? Who knew? No one tells me these things! So I’m trying to get really creative lately in ways to vent sexual frustration. Thank god for hot scented oils.

    Nerd stuff? I recently sold my Nintendo DS, and my PSP. So gaming lately has kinda taken a nose dive. But I am geeking out on fashion instead. My growing body is forcing me out of my comfort zone a bit. I even bought a book on “finding your colors”. Apparently I am supposed to know these things? Why can’t I just use my Monster Hunter knowledge and call it good?

  32. I used to go to a litfest every year & it was in a town full of bookshops. A lot of the bookshops were second hand/charity while the litfest charged over £10 for most books. So I’d make a note of the books to buy if I found them later and the books I splurged on there came from charity shops. My one exception was if I could get something signed. But if I already had a book, I’d take that instead. Assuming its the same book, I think most writers would rather see a well-loved book anyway (my fear is that my book isn’t read, I love the idea of it being read more than ppl buying multiple copies). Hm, on the cash thing, I used to do that but mum said it put me at risk of being robbed. Any advice? I want to spend loads at the match next week, in the club shop.

    You remind me of me three years ago. I was at library school finishing ma in librarianship 🙂 congrats 🙂 yeah, I’d totally do the school forever thing if it didn’t cost a fortune. I had bad experiences of work & couldn’t cope w it. Now I’m on disability and working as a writer. Working from home means I can spend my mornings with BBC documentaries & ted talks on in the background. So turns out that conventional work was the unrealistic expectation & constant learning is totally doable for me. Have you considered anything auto didactic? I realise work takes a lot of time & things like academic books cost a lot but it could be cheaper than school forever. There’s always ted talks & stuff like that.

    The nerdy thing I’ve done lately is start playing Nation States again. It’s not as bad a time suck as I remember. And it’s great fun once you establish yourself in the right region away from the right-wing (I’m in one themed around hippies) and stay off the forum side. Mostly I’m doing it on my own & not mixing much but the hippies seem nice.

    This weekend I watch my football (soccer) club for last time in league game. I’m going to miss this season so much. Hopefully they’ll win. Unless they lose, that’s them unbeaten all season in the league & if they win the next week too, they’ve only lost in Europe 🙂 already equal to the season I started supporting them which was a record.

    Then my birthday on Thursday, big day x2 (football and me, huge day for football). I haven’t asked for a lot so hopefully I get a lot of nice (and small) surprises. I hate big ones. And I’m surprisingly ok both w being a year off thirty and only looking half my age atm. Usually both perceived & actual age bother me.

    Submitted twice this week & six poems total. That bureacracy is what I don’t like about my job. And it doesn’t help that I don’t feel like I can submit as Liam as 1 I already have a reputation 2 my gender fluctuates so it’s not a permanent change I’d want 3 I’m not sure of the etiquette with ‘pseudonyms’ & don’t like thinking of a name ive sort of had since I was seven as a pseudonym anyway. It only really bothers me when the poem feels gendered, having a female name attached will affect how it’s read. But still, I think it’s probably easier in artistic fields like writing than in other fields. Anyway I hardly submit due to anxiety/executive function issues so I’m proud of myself for submitting twice this week.

    • Hello, me three years from now! I totally do plan to keep on learning while I’m working, actually. I think it’s always good to keep learning! I’m excited about having some extra time (and money) once I have a full-time-ish job to take a Spanish class. I’ve been working on learning Spanish for like 3 years and should be motivated because my partner is Mexican and I have real-life opportunities to use it and practise but I haven’t been doing a great job. I think I need a formal class.

      Good job submitting your work!! It feels so vulnerable to give your work to strangers, I totally feel you on that.

      • That’s great and a great reason to learn it too 🙂 Yeah language learning without classes can be hard, I’ve found that myself. (I’ve also found it the other way round, I can only learn BSL from my mum not from a class – I’m dyspraxic and they were ironically rather ableist – so I hope you find the right class for you).
        Thanks for the good luck 🙂 Good luck with all your new future too 🙂

  33. I have spent the last four or five weeks moving to the Bay Area, California from North Carolina. I still have more unpacking today, but yesterday I got sick (probably a cold). I have a miserable sore throat and had trouble sleeping last night, so I am taking today to recover. I’ve only done a few productive things, like sign up to go to the DMV during morning rush hour next Thursday. I am exhausted, honestly, and not just from being sick. I start work after next week.

    In other news, does anyone have any idea what the queer women’s social scene looks like around here? I’m not in SF proper, but the South Bay. I would like a chance to meet some new people.

    • If you are facebook i’d search to see if you can find the Bay area page I think it’s called BayStraddler. There is also Swagger Like Us SF(they have both a website and fb page), which is more of a general LGBTQ events, but it’s very lbtq and POC inclusive(I think it’s co-hosted by a black queer). They usually host pop up style events all over the Bay(and sometimes LA, which is where I found out about the group). I know Oakland also has a lot of event, which depending where you are in the south of the bay may just be a short-ish drive. I’d also just check the events section on FB and just start browsing, as that’ where I’ve found new events to check out in my area.

  34. whoa, i just moved back to vancouver and still haven’t oriented myself properly so i had no idea vancaf was happening. definitely checking it out on sunday. saturday plans are all apartment-hunting, though i feel like the first batch i saw were way more exciting than these ones so i’m not looking forward to it as much. i will also be filling out mortage applications and probably frowning a lot. maybe if i do that right before heading to vancaf i’ll feel sick about money and i won’t spend so much…?

  35. Blech, my weekend will probably *not* be spent doing anything nerdy because my body ain’t up for much of anything. 3 weeks of not being able to eat much of anything has really been taking a toll on my body and causing a big flare up of dysautonomia (I had 3 near-syncope episodes last weekend, which freaked out my cardiologist so now I have an event monitor! I’ve had 2 events since I got the monitor on Wednesday! The heat is not doing anything to help there, AT ALL. PLEASE GO AWAY HEAT.). I’m hoping that either I magically feel better with the new anti-emetic (unlikely) or that when I call my GI doc on Monday they’ll actually do something for me, since at least part of the not-eating thing is a GI thing, and the GI thing might be why I’m having a big pain flare up too.

    On the other hand when I feel like this I spend a lot of time re-reading books (here is earlier today when my one cat decided she too would like to read with me, or something): or I re-watch comfort TV and movies and my comfort TV is Star Trek (mostly DS9 but sometimes it gets a lil too dark and I want to watch something that is more optimistic of our fully-automated luxury gay space communism future) and my comfort movies are the extended edition LOTR movies (even though somehow my disc 2 for Fellowship got scratched to hell and you can’t watch most of that and that is VERY SAD I WANT TO WATCH THAT PART THANKS (bc I always cry when Boromir dies and a reliable cry is just nice when you feel terrible but since I can’t get my reliable cry there I get my reliable cry during RoTK after Eowyn kills the Witch-King and tries to comfort/save her uncle and he’s like “my body is broken, you have to let me go” because of associations that has; also sometimes I like happy-cry at “I am no man” bc yes badass #goals)). So okay, maybe nerdy shit is going down, especially since if on the off chance I don’t feel like death and my sister feels okay we will attempt to play/fail at playing super mario bros together, and we’ve SLOWLY been working our way through super mario bros for like 4 years now and are finally on the last world but it’s not going super great. Like. At all. We are so bad at that game.

  36. You’ve perfectly described my idea of paradise – school forever! Plus, a job as a librarian sounds really fun – I could totally see myself as a librarian if I didn’t already love my job as a nursing professor. Congratulations on almost finishing your degree – I’m almost finished with my master’s in nursing education and I can’t wait!

    This week at work has been crazy and pretty awful. I was away from the office a lot for the last two weeks due to big meetings, so I spent this week playing catch-up. Plus there’s been all kinds of problems that have caused extra work and stress. So glad it’s the weekend. My plans for this weekend mostly involve homework, which I suppose is sort of nerdy. I also have my first meeting with a local LGBTQ group I joined, so I’m looking forward to meeting new friends. Hope everyone has a good weekend!

  37. I too thrive on being a student (apart from the part where they don’t pay you) but today I GRADUATED. Which is mostly terrifying in that someone expects me to be a real adult, but is also cool to be a working adult? For the first time? At 28? *initiate panic*

  38. Sorry I’m late-first time I’ve made it at all in a while because life is strange and hard rn (sidebar they are making a sequel to that game and I am excited).
    Onto the weekend; My town is having its first ever pride today. But they’re refusing to call it gay pride because “gay has bad connotations” -so I’m like wtaf. It’s like TV in the 90s. They’re also involving not specifically queer religious groups, which gives me the shudders. I’m going because this town owes me for the high school bullying, and associated abuse in the streets, plus my friends are going…but fml. I feel like they almost want it to fail so they don’t have to try again. Idk – it’s going to be weird. But not nerdy I guess, although I’m going to hit up the comic book store on my way there.
    Have great weekends folks what ever you do. I may report back on this weird subtextual pride event.

  39. I’m graduating, so that’s nerdy. I got a special rainbow tassel for my mortarboard, so that’s gay. They spent the entire Lavender Ceremony talking about “our LGBTQ+ ~and Allied~” students (and yes, they capitalized ~Ally~), so huh…

  40. i should be writing my bachelor’s thesis (it’s about mass effect fanart), but i would also like to learn to use zbrush, or to code some funny things with html and css

    too many nerdy things to do, too little time :’D

  41. On Friday afternoon I came home from university, cracked open a cider and worked on my bike in the sun. And this weekend I’m probably just going to play a ton of games (playing Sims 4 shamelessly since I just got the Vampires pack) and binge watch TV. I’ve handed in all my work for my final year of uni and now I’ve got free time at the weekends. And it is ACE! Everyone seems to be graduating, which is making me pretty jazzed for my graduation in a month.
    I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend and recharges for the week ahead 🙂

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