Feelings Atrium: Some Preemptive Thoughts We’ve Had on “Jenny’s Wedding”

July 2, 2015

Heather: Fuck this shit. If Rory Gilmore is marrying a woman, it’s Paris Geller!
Rory Gilmore and Izzie Stevens: Movie Married
Paris Geller did play gay on that anyone but me web series, though, so now her and Rory are both confirmed lesbians.

Mey: While I do agree that paris is perfect for Rory, Izzie Stevens is one of my all-time favs, so I feel like she’s a good second option.

Heather: Oh no Mey, don’t read my twitter! I just slandered Izzie! Forgive me!

Mey: No!!!!!!
One time Janet Mock and I argued with Mari on twitter about how much we love Izzie Stevens.

Heather: Oh shit, you and Janet Mock are too formidable of a tag-team! I relent!

Mey: Well, you’ve got Mari on your side. Maybe the four of us should fight it out.

Heather: I don’t want to fight with you Mey! I want to learn your secret knowledge of dinosaurs and play Pokemon cards!

Mey: Ha!
Have you ever listened to that NPR podcast Intelligence Squared? I was thinking we could go on that.

Heather: Yes!

Laneia: This has been the gayest conversation. This is gayer than being gay.

Mari: I still hold that Izzie is a terrible character, but I fear the awesome power of the Mey/Janet Mock team-up.

9.5 Hours Later


ATTENTION: Rory Gilmore is playing a lesbian in a movie about lesbians.

Mey: Yeah, Heather and I already stopped being friends because she was trash talking Izzie Stevens.

Riese: Oh I saw that convo on my phone but had no idea what you were talking about.
Abby is dying because she has been in love with Rory Gilmore her whole life.



Stef: Have been avoiding watching this trailer all day.
I guess this movie is basically made more for the this-dad-in-this-movie than any of us.

July 3rd, 2015

Stef: I can’t stop watching this trailer now.
And finding new things about it that are amazing.
The ultimate mom: “You’re marrying your roommate?!?”

Riese: There’s something about it that feels subdued? Like the trailer feels a bit morose? I can’t put my finger on it. Like it doesn’t feel super ambitious, maybe.

Aja: Maybe it’s because they have ZERO chemistry?

Laura: Yes morose. It seems kinda like it’s about Katherine Heigl’s fraught relationship with her fictional parents. Rather than actually being a romantic comedy thing about a meet cute/overcoming minor obstacles/happy end up together.

Laneia: Twitter (ok, one person on twitter) is already excited for our takedown of the film.
Ok I’m just now watching this and LOL FROM THE WRITERS OF BEACHES. Shut the fuck up universe.

Kaelyn: Maybe “Wind Beneath My Wings” will be their wedding song.

Stef: They made Katherine Heigl look like fucking Charlize Theron in Monster with that makeup.
Like they were like ‘Oh she’s gay, we better make her vaguely scary.’
This is going to be so bad and this should be the next movie Carmen and I get wasted and kicked out of I think.
Help I can’t stop thinking about this movie

Laneia: Have you tried the ice bucket challenge.

Carmen: Stef let’s just make it a column. Let’s just regularly get wasted and kicked out of movies.

Stef: Seriously I was just talking to Phoenix about this movie. I can’t wait.
Phoenix thinks the plot twist is that they are actually roommates.
And only getting married for like, tax purposes.

Gabby: Yo I just watched this trailer :sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob: Stef.
I know the movie is gonna make me cry but it’s also gonna make me scream because its gonna be a Lifetime Grey’s Anatomy CW Gilmore Girls Where Is Bette Midler Extravaganza

Stef: Gabby, I wish this movie was about Bette Midler.
This is a movie about that jar of mayonnaise and box of uncooked spaghetti.
The best thing about Jenny’s wedding was when she gave Tim all her organs.

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  1. Immediate Reactions:

    1. I also wish this movie was about Bette Midler. I wish most movies were about Bette Mifler, honestly.

    2. I would love a regular autostraddle feature about getting drunk and watching bad movies/ getting kicked out of theaters!! (Ok, maybe not the last part, for ahem- you know- legal reasons)

    3. Rory Gilmore and Paris Geller forever! I’m also strongly team anti-Izzie, and I’ve seen every episode of Greys Anatomy more than once, sorry Mey.

    4. LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!! You are all the best.

    • Getting drunk in theaters and watching bad movies IS LIKE MY ALL TIME FAVORITE PAST TIME! So I volunteer my liver to this endeavor.

      ALSO I only got kicked out for being drunk in a theater once, and that was in the third Twilight movie when rum kept making me stand up and shout “WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING” more than once.

      • “when rum kept making me stand up and shout ‘WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING” more than once”

        Hi I’d like to apply to be your best friend

      • “ALSO I only got kicked out for being drunk in a theater once, and that was in the third Twilight movie when rum kept making me stand up and shout “WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING” more than once.”
        Standing ovation

    • I feel like I belong to a small minority that think ABM was pretty dreadful. I still can’t get over how in a 3-minute episode they would have approx 30 seconds spent on a lingering pan across some ducks on a lake or whatever, or take an age showing someone walk all the way down a hall to open a door for a 2-second exchange. Basically, I wanted to give the whole series a big slap. The girl who played Aster was great though.

      • hahahahahah i gotta say, i was definitely not invested in ABM for the cinematography.

    • Started watching this because of your comment. Really enjoying it. I’m already on season 2.

  2. Yes! I had so many feelings about this trailer when you first posted it and now I get to see your feelings too! Mostly they have no chemistry. Also morose. That was a good way to describe it.

    • Can’t shake the feeling this movie is all about capitalising on current trends in media – the creators don’t really have a story to tell, hence lack of chemistry

      • Yes, thank you, sheesh. Totally hoping on the band wagon instead of trying to tell authentic stories.

  3. This is epic. I also want to learn Mey’s secret knowledge of dinosaurs and play pokemon cards.

  4. Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
    You’re everything I wish I could be.
    I can fly hiiiiiiiiigher than an eagle….

    • Definitely Lane, I didn’t even realize I felt that way until now but I am pretty sure I was crushing on Lane the whole series! Now I need to go process all these new feelings

  5. All of you are hilarious as per usual.

    It looks weird, but also, maybe kinda okay? And I agree with Gabby, I can already tell that I’m gonna be crying my eyes out. So many feelings.

  6. Also Also Also, did anyone else notice that one of Meryl Streep’s daughters is playing Izzie’s sister? Or did I hallucinate it?

  7. This film looks very terrible. It may be redeemable in the following ways:

    1. They embrace every miserable lesbian film trope and everyone is dressed in high-waisted jeans and has some sex-related crying

    2. Katherine Heigl gets dumped in the end because her character is too heteronormative to function, and Alexis Bledel gets sick of pandering to straight people’s self-congratulating feelings about gay marriage

    3. There’s a bachelorette party scene in a club where Julie Goldman, Cathy DeBuono and every other professional lesbian cameo-player turn up for no reason

    4. Someone uses the phrase “gal pals”

    • I agree 100% with everything you’ve listed Sally. If this movie doesn’t have all four of those things, we should make a movie that does.

  8. I’m always happy to see that a mainstream film that centers around a lesbian is being made even if it turns out to terrible. And it usually does. That said, I have zero interest in Heigl or Bledel so this is definitely not my kind of movie. Heigl, in particular, really turns me off of wanting to see it. How do I say this? All of Heigl’s movie are exactly the same to me. As are all of her characters. They are like Nicholas Sparks movie. Completely interchangeable and about the same boring white people. At least this movie has the same-sex angle going for it which makes it different in that way.

    Speaking of Bette Midler, I would rather have a Hocus Pocus sequel. Just saying. Why did that never happen? And has anybody seen that video of Bette recently performing “I Put A Spell on You” in character at one of her concerts because it is awesome.

    • OMG I would be so into a Hocus Pocus sequel! My girlfriend and I were literally talking about that movie last night (and Halloweentown because I love Halloween movies provided they are only scary to 5 year olds).

  9. also, thank GOODNESS they’re both wearing DRESSES to their wedding, because if one of them wore a suit that would just be really too much gay for anyone to handle.

      • That’s exactly how I feel, it will be that one movie that straight girls will have watched way more than any lesbian will have… I can’t think of any two other actresses That would be worse choices honestly.

        • it’s a movie for uncomfortable parents. my dad won’t see it because he will think it’s a chick flick, but i bet my mom and her girlfriends go.

          • SO TRUE. I am so not looking forward to listening to my family talk about this movie. They will probably mostly love it and expect me to see it/love it too and be really confused when I just want to complain.

    • Really? I read that more as her mom trying to impose a butch/femme dynamic on their relationship where there isn’t one. If my mom asked if I was wearing a suit to my wedding, I’d say the same thing.

      • This is what’s gonna make me super uncomfortable about this movie/reactions to it. Half of people are gonna be like, “Gross, a femme-femme pairing, how unrealistic and pandering to normative gender roles” while the other half are gonna be like “Thank god they’re femme-femme, not one of those oppressive stereotypical butch-femme pairings!”. As a femme, I want their femininity AND queerness to be celebrated…as one half of a butch-femme couple, I hate it when people immediately write off the idea as a harmful stereotype. To me, some couples have different dynamics, and one is not more enlightened/more oppressive or more deserving of media spotlight. We need ALL the queer pairings represented. I applaud recognizing femme/femme relationships as valid, but also really wish I could see a butch onscreen in a romantic context…one who isn’t played for mocking laughs and who isn’t so femmed-up to make hir “palatable” that the representation becomes meaningless.

        • i mean i think on the surface it is the character just rebutting her mother’s assuptions, and it is certainly not inherently a problem if they both wear dresses. BUT this trailer doesn’t show me that the film is aware enough to be probing into dynamics and conversations around gender presentation/expression in a genuine and authentic way, and that’s what i take issue with. i didn’t hear this line as, “we’re thwarting a butch/femme stereotype!” what i heard was a line written for the audience members who breathe a little sigh of relief when they realize they won’t have to see a woman getting married in a suit.

    • Yeah the femme-femme thing would be easier to enjoy/accept as a good story and not a stereotype avoider if there was more chemistry going on there

  10. Anybody else in the oh my goodness Rory looks 24 max starting her first Grown Up Post Uni Job and Izzie looks like a Real Adult with a real foothold in her career they can’t be getting married there’s too much of a disparity this won’t end well zone?
    Cause that is where I’m at with this even though I know 1978 to 1981 is not a lot of years Alexis is such a baby face and Katherine has always looked like a grown woman.
    Just agh.

    • That was my reaction too. Besides the zero chemistry thing, it looks like there’s a much bigger age difference and it’s distracting.

  11. I have SO MANY FEELINGS about this movie, some of which I already expressed in the comments of this week’s Pop Culture Fix, but since it is Tell Us Everything Week here at Ye Olde Autostraddle Shoppe, I will tell ya’ll all about it again.

    1) Zero chemistry. Seriously.

    2) This is probably due to the fact that, as much as I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Rory Gilmore and Alexis Bledel, Alexis Bledel is kind of a TERRIBLE actress anytime she’s not playing Rory Gilmore. Also, my love for Rory Gilmore makes is really REALLY hard for me to see Alexis as anyone other than Rory, so seeing her in other roles just never really works for me. She will always be Rory Gilmore.

    3) Also, if you’ve seen Gilmore Girls, you know how awkward Rory always is when she hugs Luke. That’s kind of what she’s like in this trailer with Katherine Heigl.

    4) Speaking of Katherine Heigl – yeah, I’m with Heather on this one.

    5) This feels like the kind of movie that should have come out like, 3-4 years ago. It just doesn’t feel all that revolutionary anymore. Which is AWESOME, I guess, but I just think it’s not really covering any new ground.

    • Alexis jst needs to be like “I already went through this ‘not good enough for your family’ song and dance with my douchey college boyfriend. Either help them get it together or I’m leaving you to focus on my badass career.”

    • RIGHT? She will always be Rory. That, and the zero chemistry is so distracting. Definitely a movie for straight people so they can be like “Oh I saw that movie about the lesbians/what are all you gay people complaining about, there’s a *mainstream*/”cute” movie about you guys!!! SEE? We’re all equal now!!”


  12. “Baby, I love you so damn much I want to marry you and push you up against that wall….for a big ‘ol hug.” :/

    Not to besmirch the reputation of a high quality hug but REALLY?

    • RIGHT?! If I’m ever afraid that my intended person is having doubts about our upcoming marriage and her response is emphatic words and *a hug*…those fears will probably just triple. Ugh

  13. I will definitely see this because lesbians. Obviously. But I bet it will be horrific and tragic and I can’t wait for y’all to provide colourful commentary on it (these preemptive thoughts were gold). Also though, I anticipate rewatching it a billion times, because #representation. Which is just sad.

  14. The movie’s take-home message (per the dramatic text-on-screen) is “family is worth fighting for.” And they pretty clearly mean Izzie Stevens’ homophobic (“ordinary,” not rebellious) birth family, not the one she’s supposedly starting with Rory. The title pretty much says it all: this movie is about Jenny’s *wedding,* and whether her parents/family will attend, fund, and/or support it. Not Jenny-and-Kitty’s-relationship, marriage, life together, etc. It’s telling that I had to watch the trailer a 3rd time to figure out that Kitty is the gal pal’s name! I suppose this is still a story that’s worth telling and will end on a positive note (since it seems her parents come around to their 2-dress-wedding at some point), but it’s so far from the representation I’d like to see, especially when lesbian/queer-focused films are so few and far in between.

    Also, I’m with y’all on the zero chemistry. I think Rory has more chemistry with Pete Campbell than Izzie, which is saying something, because Pete.

    • She’s married to Pete Campbell IRL so I’d hope they’d have some chemistry!

      That being said, I have a feeling this movie will be a terrible disappointment, and the lack of chemistry between Rory and Izzie is definitely a big reason why. And I think you’re spot on about the movie – it’s all about the wedding, with the actual relationship taking a back seat.

  15. Is this like a real film? It feels very made-for-tv movie to me. Like a Lifetime film or something.

    Also do gay men movies have so many getting married story lines? Maybe that’s a common theme for both, but it feels vaguely misogynistic. Although I will definitely see this at some point and most likely cry, to be fair.

  16. the trailer feels sorta 80s to me? something about the interspersed text telling us all the obvious things feels dated. and the dramatic shifts in music? the only way it could feel more 80s to me is if they got that one guy that did all the voiceovers in trailers from the 80s to read the text. idk this might just be me

    does rory gilmore have a personality in this film or…?

    stef nailed it with the charlize theron in monster comparison. i would never have placed it, but the final scene of the trailer omg it is uncanny.

    DAD LIVES IN THE GARAGE. so many scenes with dad in the garage.

    i need a gif of :33. like shes thinking “hmmmmmm i should mention the whole gay deal? you make a good point, my i guess fiancee. im really going to have to think about this. now that you mention it, i think this is going to be quite a conflict leading to what i hope will be a satisfying denouement!” it’s all right there in that moment.

    i cant help but feel like with all the sweaters and fall leaves plus the high-strung mother and the seemingly more traditional sister and just general family drama that this is going for a “home for the holidays” feel which is my favorite film and is flawless so i am being unnecessarily harsh. maybe it will be good? at the very least, i am glad it is being made. maybe if jodie foster had directed and holly hunter was jenny id see it.

    • Agreed on Home for the Holidays, I think I’ve seen that movie more times than anything else except maaaaybe the original Star Wars trilogy. Maybe.

    • “DAD LIVES IN THE GARAGE. so many scenes with dad in the garage”

      well, the closet was kinda full…

  17. I am 100% behind the Intelligence Squared-style debate. In fact, I think that should be a regular AS feature. Lesbiantelligence Squared Debates?

  18. The current movie aside, I will agree that Paris was *truly* Rory’s one-and-only and vice versa. Clearly, after the series ended, when Logan and what’s-his-name were out of Rory and Paris’s respective lives, they ended up together. Rory worked from home as a freelance journalist, while Paris was an MD. They probably lived in Boston, but, you never know, they may have moved to Stars Hollow.

    I met Alexis Bledel once when I was in college, and she was really friendly. However, I was too star-struck and shy to say anything to her other than “I really like your show.”

  19. I think this is how the creators thought they could make lesbians palatable to middle america? Unfortch, they pretty much eliminated like 75% of their fan base by making it smell like rotten milk to actual lesbians.

    Having never watched an episode of Grey’s or Gilmore Girls (forgive me), I think I can objectively say that this movie will be the worst… in the best possible way.

    Carmen and Stef, I’m crashing your party.

  20. I have never seen so much tepid ambivalence towards a lesbian movie! All hail the new world where movies have to be good, as well as queer, to win our love :-)

  21. I teared up watching the trailer, even though I thought they had zero chemistry and it has this odd, retro John Hughes crossed with Ordinary People vibe.

    But I’m a sucker for fictional mom’s eventually pulling their heads out of their asses and supporting their queer daughters. I cried when her mom showed up and they hugged and it was cathartic enough that I probably won’t need to see it in the theater.

  22. I think lesbian representation in mainstream movies has always been so bad that our first instinct when we see something like this is to rip it to shreds. It’s a defense mechanism. We’re too used to see movies in which the lesbian character:

    1. Finally finds the right guy. It was a “phase.”
    2. Is not having sex at all with her female partner because of lesbian bed death and hence goes on her search for the right guy.
    3. Is a caricature of butch identity and shown as hideous and undesirable.
    4. Is inherently mentally unstable.
    5. Is a punch line–always fawning over straight women who don’t even notice her, etc

    Maybe I’m naive, but this looks different to me. I’m excited to see it. The story hits very close to home. My partner’s conservative evangelical family thought we were “roommates” until we announced we were engaged.

  23. Wait, I’m just processing “from the writers of Beaches.”

    Does that mean that the writers of Beaches meant to write a queer lady romance? Because I totally missed the subtext when I saw it in college, but thinking about it now, it’s pretty obvious. Bette Middler and what’s her name had a LOT of chemistry, way more than Rory and Izzie.

  24. Mostly I just think zombie Jenny Schecter should perform the ceremony. It’d really make it Jenny’s wedding since she’d totally make it all about herself and all.

    • Zombie Jenny Schechter was the first thing I thought of when I saw the name of this article.

      Also this entire article is wonderful and has thoroughly made my day, so many people have been excited about the concepy

      • I AM SO EMBARRASSED I accidentally hit submit before I wrote the rest of this comment.

        But yeah, this article is great and I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought they had little chemistry!

  25. So, after finally watching the trailer, it looks like it’ll be mostly just okay. I’ll have to get over my dislike of Katherine Heigl to watch it (and I’m discovering that I don’t think I really like Alexis Bledel? Or that she definitely needs someone with more personality to act with?)

    But, also, I can see myself watching this and crying because this is a very big fear of mine at some point in my future, because my family is a big part of my life and… I don’t know what will happen if/when I bring a lady home with me. Much less announce that I would like to marry a lady. So, that conflict feels very true to me, and I have feelings about that.

    Overall, it feels like a mixed bag. One of those movies I’ll watch once, maybe cry a little during it, and then “meh,” I’ll never watch it again.

  26. I love just about anything with Katherine Heigl even though they are all basically the same movie. I love cheesy romantic movies and movies about families, so I’m probably going to love this. I want to give it the benefit of the doubt. I already have plans with my girlfriend to go see it in theaters.

    • Thank you! After scrolling through dozens of comments of people talking about how they can’t stand Heigl, your pro-Heigl comment was a breath of fresh air.

      • I haven’t seen many of her movies, but Izzie was always one of my favorites. Definitely on your team on this one. :)

    • I would also watch anything with Katherine Heigl.
      I do really enjoy her.
      And I share your feels about this movie.

    • Oh, I’m definitely going to go see it too! I just don’t have high expectations.

    • I loved Izzie at the beginning, but have been disappointed with all the movies katherine heigl’s been in since (the ones I’ve seen). Other than maybe knocked up they’ve all been such predictable rom coms, this just feels similar with a girl instead of a guy love interest. That said I’ll probably end up watching it and hating myself a little for enjoying it…

  27. Izzy may have her faults with serious roles and such, but she is a BEAST in a romantic comedy (27 Dresses, Life As We Know It, anyone?) I will be watching this because I think that even though there will be plot faults (okay, I’m a pessimist but I’m also a realist) I’ll be watching.

  28. so when this comes out can we all just go en masse to watch it? like to love hate cry laugh be annoyed with it? me and phoenix are gonna go. stef and everyone in stef’s basement, wanna come along??

  29. The trailer is underwhelming, and it just looks so DOUR. Whither the laughs? Whither the hijinks?

  30. it kills me that they show the entire movie in a 90 second clip. i don’t even have to see the movie to rip it apart, i know 99% of the plot points they plan on hitting.

    it is an odd sort of obsession though; i’ve broken down and watched the trailer at least 15 times. there’s no way this movie will be what it could have been, but i’m going to keep writing scenes in my head for it while i try to fall asleep at night, regardless.

  31. This looks TERRIBLE and 100% for straight people to weep over, but hey, it’s still a mainstream movie about lesbians in a stable relationship in which it seems unlikely that either of them will die or run off with a man, so I’m still a little bit excited.

  32. I’m sure this is technologically complicated and would be time consuming but when this is eventually out on video I would totally watch it with an Autostraddle commentary podcast, a la Ronald D. Moore/Battlestar.

    Or IDK, maybe that would take less time than writing a recap? I love reading those and really appreciate them but I know they take a lot of time.

    • If they were smart, they’d invite AS staff and readers to private screenings in like 10 major US cities on the same night. IF THEY WERE SMART, SO.

  33. I have socks that have more sexual chemistry together than these two, and Laneia’s comment about the conversation being the gayest thing ever is a more convincing lesbian than Alexis is in this trailer. (Meta-comment is meta-gay)

    • “I have socks that have more sexual chemistry together than these two”


  34. ALSO THOUGH why can’t we just have movies with gay people in it. Movies were we exist and actually live lives and go on cool adventures, rather than the entire plot being “ouuuuu, they’re GAY, though. Let’s make a point of it by having the coming out story and showing the disapproving parents”. Real representation to me would be taking a movie like “You’ve Got Mail” or “Inside Out” and making it gay by idk, having gay people in it.

    • Where*

      Ps. also my own comment makes me worry that doing what i suggested would cause mainstreaming/homonormativity/”they’re just like us” BS. Idk guys, so many thoughts, so many feelings. But you know what I mean, right?

      • I’m always really torn on this. On one hand I get how impactful it can be to see characters dealing with coming out or overcoming the disapproval of their family. Those are still very real issues that plenty of Queer people deal with everyday.

        On the other hand I really, really want to see stories with Queer main characters that doesnt revolve around their sexuality? The web series Carmilla is one of my favorite things ever and a huge part of the reason is that while it’s clearly a love story the focus isn’t on the fact that it’s a love story between two girls.

    • Rones, literally everything you have said in response to this article I agree with. I’m also at the point that I just want a stupid happy lesbian movie, because it’s starting to seem that literally all of them are meant for me to end up in a puddle of tears… *sigh*

  35. The only thing I liked about any of this was the following:

    This is a movie about that jar of mayonnaise and box of uncooked spaghetti.
    The best thing about Jenny’s wedding was when she gave Tim all her organs.

  36. Maybe if I go into this with really low expectations it won’t be as disappointing as most Lesbian movies that attempt to be ‘mainstream’ (and a lot that don’t)???

    • Also I feel like if I think of it as a romantic comedy I’ll be disappointed (it does not seem very funny or romantic) BUT if I think of it as a sappy family drama about old people getting their shit together I will probably cry and it will be fine.

  37. You know maybe the trick is this:
    Watch the first couple of seasons of Grey’s.
    Watch this movie.
    Watch the next couple of seasons of Grey’s.
    Watch Under the Tuscan Sun.
    Watch some more Grey’s: Everyone’s gay.

    I see this movie as the warm up for a verygayfallandwinteratthemovietheater, so, I’m good and excited about it.
    I mean watch this and Izzie Stevens and Rory Gilmore are gay.
    Watch Freeheld and Julianne Moore and Ellen Page are gay(wait..).
    Watch Carol and Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett are gay.
    Watch Star Wars and everyone’s gay!

  38. The trailer, not promising. It feels like Hollywood’s take on lesbianism (as though that is a structured immutable concept), and seems about as on point as my mother’s pretend ‘German’ accent.


    that made me laugh so much that i spelled “spaghetti” wrong and will not even bother correcting it

  40. IZZIE IS THE FUCKING WORST. I CANNOT STAND IZZIE. i’ve been rewatching grey’s and just waiting for her to die.


    also izzie and rory have no chemistry. and this seems like the straightest movie about getting gay married ever. like pretty sure this movie is being made for straight people so they can have Feelings about like being good straights or something. probably i’m going to see it anyway and sob a lot, but like THEY DIDN’T EVEN KISS IN THE TRAILER WHAT IS THAT

  41. Abby I also love Rory Gilmore!!!! my favorite Rory is season 3 Rory. i hope she’s like season 3 Rory in this but gay(er; she was pretty gay that season)

  42. ABBY: I too have always been in love with Rory. (Duh – she’s like a potential Jenny)

    I agree with Gabby, we should do a mass watchalong.

    THIS MOVE IS SO IMPORTANT. Boring lesbian movies are how you start the stealth campaign! I’m all for it, though I am really disappointed by it already.

  43. I hope this is just a poorly cut trailer, and the movie is actually more of a sweet rom-com, and not as depressing and dramatic as it looks.

    Really not feeling Isabel & Rory’s chemistry, sadly. (Sorry, Grey’s fans, but Katherine Heigl will always be a teenage alien to me!)

    • The evil monkey king from photoshop island has done it again – WE ARE DOOOMED!!!

      But you are right, the whole poster looks wonky. It’s also kinda weird that you can’t really see the second bride: On a first glance she could very well be the maid of honour.

  44. This film should be called “Jenny’s Heteronormative Wedding.”


  45. Despite the severe amount of nope that the trailer induces (NO CHEMISTRY. NONE. UGHHHH. AND WHAT’S WITH THE HUG?), there is something about shitty chickflick movies that makes me go all grabby hands. I WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE, BUT I SHOULDN’T WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE. I think the fact that there is clearly a happy ending makes me the most excited. Finally a lesbian movie where the characters end up more than vaguely happy at the end.

  46. Are we getting another white, cis, 30 something, conventionally attractive, super-feminine lesbians movie? :D

    It’s like white, cis, 30 something, conventionally attractive, super-feminine lesbians Christmas!


  48. This does not look like a good movie but Rory Gilmore + Izzy Stevens = I am sold, also I’ve cried every time I watch the trailer idk I am a sap with bad taste

  49. I really don’t get why everyone hates Izzie so much! She’s my all-time second favorite Grey’s Anatomy character! Team Izzie forever, even if it’s just me and janet mock.

    • Mey, I don’t get it either.
      Aside from her weird thing with George in like season 3 that I just pretend never happened, I LOVED Izzie so much, and I still miss her.

    • You know, I only ever watched the first season of Greys and all I can remember is Sandra Oh Forever Amirite, but I think even if it is just you & Janet Mock on Team Izzie, that is a fucking awesome group & I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  50. I mean… I know I’m going to watch it. But that doesn’t mean I won’t bitch the whole time. I wonder what straight friend I’m going to have to convince to see this movie with me.

  51. I’m actually very excited for this! My mom and I watched many rom-coms together when I was younger and, while she still loves them, I stopped being interested in them when I realized how hetero they are. But I want to see this movie with my mom – she can enjoy the rom-com cheesiness and I will enjoy the lesbianism. It’s perfect!

  52. I am looking forward to the review of this movie far more than the actual movie. I mean, of course I am going to see the movie, but I will probs just openly laugh at the “heartwarming” moments and the awkward lack of chemistry.

  53. I am still convinced I saw talk of this movie around the Prop 8 era of 2008/2009 which would explain a lot of this weird and tired plot BUT I CAN’T FIND ANYTHING TO TELL ME I’M NOT CRAZY.

    Either way, I’m sure it’ll be fine (won’t love it, won’t hate it) but let’s be real I’m here for Alexis Bledel kissing ladies.

    Also I feel bad for disliking Katherine Heigl because I’m not really sure why I do other than she is so representative of the most typical white blonde straight woman with maybe not a whole lot of charm? AM I JUST BEING SEXIST??

      • Yeah I think that says a lot about how far we’ve come with queer representation since they started the script development. Like, we’ve had a small revolution in queer media since then, so what might have been very topical and appropriate for the time they started is now something that feels very dated. I think now we just don’t feel we need to “settle” for this kind of story anymore.

  54. This film feels so behind the times are we sure it wasn’t actually released in 2001 or something. This movie was made to make my parents feel good about themselves, my mom will probably like this movie. I can hear straight people telling me they loved this movie to let me know they’re A-okay with gay. The lack of diversity/lack of queer actors is bumming me out. That all being said I’m still going to see the movie because it’s gay and I’m going to make a face about it the entire time probably.

  55. Please please please let there be a plot twist… any plot twist. Because not only do they have NO chemistry, I feel like by watching this trailer I’ve just watched the ENTIRE MOVIE. What happened to “hook me and don’t give anything away”. This is more like “show me all the main points of the movie so I can decide which elderly aunt to recommend it to”.

  56. I’m not quite ready to hate on this. I agree that it looks “morose” when I, like many, just want a goddamn lesbian romcom. Or really any movie about queer women that doesn’t revolve around straight people’s feelings.

    HOWEVER, like others said, the conflict rings true to me. My generation was the first to see same-sex marriage legalized in our youth and the last (hopefully) to have majority unsupportive parents. If this movie gets one person’s homophobic mom to see sense, it was worth it.

    • Yeah, I agree. I was thinking that this looks like the movie you could recommend to the relative who won’t come to your gay wedding, before you resort to sending them Riese’s handy form letter. Or maybe you send this movie WITH the form letter.

    • I really agree! Like, with everything. Especially wanting a movie about queer women and not their straight friends’/family’s feelings.

  57. I’m all for Izzie marrying Rory but I really can’t move past my dislike of Catherine Heigl. She wrecked Grey’s for me!!! #neverforget

  58. I am actually excited about this movie – maybe it’s just that I love crappy rom-coms, I like Katherine Heigl movies – they’re so predictable and you know they’re going fall in love/get married/live happily ever after, and so I’m not down for all the vaguely racist and misogynistic stuff that will be in it, but I am down to see the movie.

    Also I hope they expand the gal-pal’s character more than in the trailer, I just want a movie about queer girls falling in love, not straight person feelings.

  59. I am excited about this movie mostly because of the Autostraddle commentary that will follow, jar of mayonnaise and box of uncooked spaghetti is entirely too true.
    This isn’t relevant but it took me like 3 tries to spell mayonnaise and I had to give up and copy and paste it.

  60. Even the sister reads as more into Katherine Heigl than Alexis Bledel does in this trailer.

  61. “Best thing about Jenny’s wedding is she gave Tim all her organs.”

    YES!!!! I want to love this film. Too girlcrush girls… but uh it uh seems awful.

  62. Stoked for a lesbian romcom. I didn’t like that there was no kissing in the trailer only slightly awkward hugging.

    • Or Natalie Dormer. OR just re-cast the entire thing with Anne Hathaway AND Natalie Dormer. Problem solved!

  63. A trailer is supposed to contain a film’s best bits. If this is the film’s highlights, I’m seriously concerned!


  64. Ummm…I liked this trailer. I don’t see what the hate is about. It’s clear the focus is on Heigl’s character and her relationship with her family, must everything be some sappy rom com? Are you all really falling into that chick stereotype right now?

    It’s possible they chemistry. I can’t tell, since they don’t really focus on the scenes of them together. I have no idea how you can tell either.

    This huge obsession over the Gilmore girls, but I always thought Heigl’s character from Roswell played for our team, just saying.

    It looks like a good, well acted movie, about real people and you all are foaming at the mouth to tear it down. This is why we can’t have nice things.

  65. I’ll be honest that I didn’t read all the comments, so maybe I missed this, but is no one else surprised that Abby is/has been in love with Rory? It seems weird to me but maybe that’s because you never ~really~ wanna know abt all the girls your dad crushed on in high school

  66. I want to see this bc Alexis Bledel, duh! But I’m not sure I can stand to watch it bc Katherine Heigl. She really bugs me and given she seems to be the main character, I’m not sure I can stand it. But I’ll probably end up watching it anyway.

    • ugh. I mean that, they’re a great team and I know Bruce is an ace dad who would provide valuable parental insight into the parents in this film.

  67. Questions:
    1. Is this set in the cinematic universe of “A Talking Cat!?!”
    2. Did they put a prosthetic nose on Heigl for the poster
    3. Is it really necessary to encourage straight America’s obsession with lesbian marriage
    4. In between the age-look difference and the hugging, I’m getting more of an estranged mother-daughter vibe from these two.Please tell me I’m not alone in this. I know that’s not a question but requests are sort of like questions

  68. Seems Alexis Bledel was a last-minute addition – or Katherine Heigl couldn’t remember her name when making the this indiegogo video to raise funds:

    She names all the main actors, but her ‘fiancée’ is missing from this great list! I’m not a fan of hers, but if the film is made available on Prime instant video or hulu, or some other such platform, of course I’ll watch.

  69. I will watch this movie because it contains lesbians and possibly only because it contains lesbians. Honestly, they have less of a chemical reaction between them than if you dropped a piece of gold onto a cushion, which is basically what is happening because Kitty is basically just a cushion for Jenny to vent to about her homophobic family than an actual person, so far.

  70. I really want to like this film, I’ve never seen a mainstream, lesbian, rom-com with recognisable actors (there maybe is some, I’ve just not come across them). However, I think I’ll be really disappointed. I can’t not see Alexis Bledel as a 16 year old school girl and Katherine Heigl as a fully qualified 30ish year old doctor. However, I don’t think that’s the biggest issue. If it was a straight people rom-com it would feature a much more exciting story, focused more on the couple rather than the main storyline being about one person and their family. From the trailer it doesn’t look like Alexis Bledel is a main character. I understand that coming out to a family will always be an issue for every LGBT person but it seems like the film is a very stereotypical representation of what a straight person thinks it’s like.

    I could be completely wrong, I hope I am. I will have to actively seek out the film somewhere online, as I live in the UK and it won’t be shown at the cinema here. I will check back with the Autostraddle articles/ comments, when the film is released, to see if I should watch it!

  71. The trailer was really meh. Why did they show us basically the entire movie? A trailer is supposed to make you want to watch a movie, not the opposite.
    Also, zero chemistry. AND THAT HUG! It made me cringe.
    I’ll still watch, though. Just because lesbians. And as I said in the other post I have a soft spot for rom-coms (even though I’m not really sure it will be a rom-com. It feels more like a movie for old people who think they’re progressive, as someone said before).

  72. Initial reactions to the ridiculousness that is this movie:

    – If they’re engaged (and presumably in love), why do they keep loosely hugging like they actually ARE roommates?

    – I can’t help but feel that this is a sad attempt to normalize gay relationships for conservative audiences. I definitely don’t feel like the primary audience for this movie, which is really sad.

    – I guess I’ll just go watch Imagine Me & You for the zillionth time…

  73. No kissing! Why do only straight people get to kiss?! What is this nonsense.

    Also I’m rewatching Greys and just got to the Callie (goddess) – Erica Hahn relationship. That would make a better movie.

  74. I told my girlfriend that it’d be super fun to narrate our lives the way straight people see lesbians. I’ll introduce her alternatively as my roommate, sister, or my gal pal, she’ll explain that she’s really just an overgrown tomboy and that the right necklace will make her see her inner femininity, I’ll ask her to get out the fancy belt (as she holds up her BDSM harness or her strap-on harness), we’ll describe our dildos as unique sculptures, and as she fucks me aggressively, I’ll scream, “Hug me harder!”.

  75. My girlfriend’s reaction to this trailer was also that Rory and Paris should be getting married! Also, I just find that Alexis Bledel (who I do love) just looks waaaaaay too young to be marrying Katherine Heigl.

  76. If Liza Weil (Paris) was playing opposite Kitty (Rory) we would NOT be having this issue with chemistry…

  77. This movie does seem like its trying to play the line between middle class America and lesbians. I think the casting had to do a lot with taking two ‘wholesome’ looking women and putting them in this role.

    I agree that it does look like the actually relationship is going be 15% of the storyline. Which sucks.

    I’m a big sap so I’m sure Rory is going to say something super sweet Izzy. All will be forgiven and I will cry out of sweetness, happiness, and rainbows.

  78. This movie is totally about that jar of mayonnaise and those uncooked spaghetties….


    Who’s in favor of a live action Dykes to Watch Out For movie?


  79. I bet homophobic dad will show up mid-wedding all the Graduate-style and hear their vows and suddenly have a change of heart and be like “everything’s okay because I’m totally cool with this now” and, once again, it will be about straight people and their straight opinions.
    And HOLY SHIT THAT HUG WAS AWFUL. “Babe, marry me! We can make sweet, sweet hugging-like-you-would-your-93-year-old-granny all night long!” It’s irritating that lesbian sexuality is either porytrayed in popular media as non-existent or male-gazey as in wow Daron Aronofsky would totally approve of this type bullshit.
    That said, despite my inevitable storm of bitching about it, I will probably see it anyway and very much look forward to seeing what you all have to say about it.

  80. I so wanted Rory to be gay. They could have done so much with that. I’m suspicious of all the hugging.

    Very off topic but I was 10 when Beaches came out & I watched it hundreds of times because I couldn’t stop looking at young Hilary Whitney. I think I just found my root.

  81. I watch it if: Addison crashes the wedding to steal Izzie. Paris comforts Rory. Danny’s ghost watches from afar and cooks some curry. There’s a Bollywood dance scene with Lorelai and Luke.

  82. I want to see this. I want to like this. But after talking to my friends/family/coworkers about it, I’m terrified it’s going to be derailed into “hey, lesbians! look! we’re cool with you getting married, as long as you both wear dresses and don’t act too gay around us!”

  83. Am I the only one actually looking forward to this movie? It looks… relatable. I mean, I came out at 17 so my parents had a lot of forewarning that there would be a “lesbian wedding” in my future but a lot of the same issues came up during our wedding planning, especially on my wife’s side. Her sister got married the year before and her parents paid a big chunk for their wedding… and zero for ours. They weren’t even initially sure if they “could” come to ours (they did, but they had to take time to think and pray about it first). And straight people do ask who’s wearing the suit. It may be ignorant and cringe-worthy and make you roll your eyes, but it is a thing that you are asked (a lot) by family, friends, vendors during the planning process. Also like the movie, we didn’t have any big mother-daughter dress shopping moments, either. My wife and I went together and picked out our dresses together with one of my sisters to help. I don’t know… maybe I’m just not cool or jaded enough to see this as some “straight people’s feelings about queer weddings” movie. Or maybe it’s just that to me, it looks a whole lot like my own experience. I think you have to take it for what it is — a movie about a white, conservative, religious, upper middle class family and how they deal with her coming out and getting married. It’s not realistic for everyone, it’s not everyone’s experience… but it is realistic (or at least relatable) to some. Personally, I can’t wait to go to the movie theater and watch a fairly big budget film with lead actresses and supporting characters that I actually recognize play out a storyline that for once feels familiar to me and my life.

  84. “Oh shit, you and Janet Mock are too formidable of a tag-team! I relent!”


  85. My main feeling about this trailer is “bland,” if bland is an emotion. It just seems super predictable, and I agree with other commenters that the focus seems to be very much on Jenny’s relationship with her family rather than her relationship with her fiancee. I can actually picture the climactic/ending scene (after mother says “I’ll do this alone if I have to”) where Jenny’s parents decide to come to her wedding at the last minute and family was fought for hooray. For some reason it actually reminds me a little bit of the parental support conflict in Whip It (which in my head counts as a queer movie because Ellen Page & roller derby)…but the centrality of that theme in Whip It made more sense because Ellen Page was a minor living at home with her parents. I might go see it anyway just to see if they actually ever get to kiss or if hugging = ultimate lesbian intimacy.

  86. I had never thought about Paris and Rory as a lesbian couple and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

  87. I read the comments and then watched the trailer, but I should’ve maybe done it the other way ’round. I’d watch this movie. Sure, romcoms are my favorite, but movies about family and the gays in the family are probably a close second. And if it’s well produced with good technical aspects and strong acting it’s already better than most of what there is.

    Also, a note on the hugging. I hug my partner way more often than I kiss her. It’s safe and comforting. I like it. I didn’t think there was too much hugging in the trailer.

  88. I’ve watched the trailer about five times hoping I’ll find something new and likable about it, but I just get more vaguely frustrated every time. I think the worst part about the film for me is that straight people will think it is revolutionary, when it is a story that we have heard many, many times. It also reeks of “See? Gay people are just like us!!! Love is love! I’m only comfortable with difference if the people in question strive to emulate the norm in one way or another!” The first time I saw the trailer was on tumblr, with the caption basically saying, “We finally have a boring predictable romcom starring Katherine Heigl, but about gay people…we’ve made it!” But we haven’t made ittitidfjsldkfj. This movie is hella for straight people who want to feel good about themselves and how open-minded they are.

  89. The lack of chemistry in that trailer is painful.

    …will that stop me from seeing it? Probably not. Maybe it’ll surprise me?

  90. I just saw the movie and you guys all suck. The movie was amazing. I laughed, I cried, I squeezed my girlfriend’s hand so hard I thought she would cry. One of the things we talk about a lot in Pflag is when you come out to your parents, you’ve already been out for a significant amount of time but your parents are just starting to realize it. So even though you want and oftentimes expect your parents to be in the same place as you, they’re just starting out on this journey and have their own coming out process to go through. This movie portrays that so perfectly.

  91. Dear Ms. Donoghue,

    “The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were to long words or exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink.”
    -George Orwell.

    After watching your interview with AfterEllen (http://tinyurl.com/goqx5eg), I understand your film much better now.

    Your film is the unfortunate end product of insincerity. You wanted to write a movie about parents, about family of gay children dealing with homosexuality and coming out. However the film you sold to Hollywood was the “long-awaited Lesbian romance with a Happy Ending(!!!).”

    I am so disappointed in you. Jenny’s girlfriend-fiancée never belonged in this film. The family was completely uninterested in knowing her. Your inclusion of her just pandered to the Hollywood “romcom” script. My partner suggested that you should never have cast the fiancée and that she should never have been shown on screen, because she was not a real character. A character has a past, has feelings, has intention. The dark haired female figure on the top of the wedding cake had as much cinematic purpose as the real live woman she represented!

    I hope that you will consider George Orwell’s words before writing your next script.

    An underwhelmed viewer

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