100 Things That Are Orange, Ranked

49. Iceland Poppies

What if we had a whole field of these in our yard, what then.


 

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48. Orange Nail Polish

“I’m gonna buy some orange nail polish today and see how it goes. Megan will be pleased with that use of my time I’m sure.”

Laneia, Executive Editor


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47. The Detroit Tigers

This is my home team, you see, so I can’t very well leave it out.


 

46. Sweet Mango Candletiny-candle

Once upon a time we had a rich friend and she took us all the way to Key Biscayne, Florida, to a fancy hotel. We went to the spa and had massages, and then we were all woozy and soft and happy. We asked why everything smelled so good and it turns out this hotel had a “signature scent” and that scent was “sweet mango” and those were the candles we’d been smelling.

So my rich friend got us each a Sweet Mango Candle to take home. We’d burn them in our tiny city apartments and try to remember what the ocean looked like and how beautiful it was to feel all woozy and soft and sweet-mango-style.


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45. Orange Sherbert

It tastes like summer and sunshine!


 

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44. Laneia’s Orange Jimi Wallet

“it is amazing and has lasted through so many bonnaroos and other things that are crazy, like dinah shore.”

Laneia, Executive Editor


 

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43. Claudia Donovan’s Hair

Sometimes when I accidentally dye my hair orange I think, “maybe I could pull off a thing like Claudia” but really nobody is like Claudia, so.


 

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42. Frank Ocean’s “Channel Orange

“Channel Orange is basically the most perfect thing of all time, which i said in many more words that time I reviewed it for this website autostraddle dot com. a mix of raw, lesbian-like emotion (i can’t believe it’s not my diary!), the feeling of popping bottles, and fun, top-down cruising music, it provides you with everything you need for emotional catharsis in a relatively short period of time. frank ocean named the album after the color that reminded him of the gay love that shook his entire world, but it’s okay to listen to it even if you’re like me and the closest you get to appreciating orange in your homogay life is somewhere between your mustard yellow autumn sweater and burnt sienna crayons.”

Carmen Rios, Feminism Editor


 

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41. Orange Safety Vests

“I think generally speaking wearing a high-visibility vest is always preferable to not wearing one.”

Marni, A-Camp Co-Director


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40. Dried Apricots

On a scale of 1 to ‘dried cherries,’ I give Dried Apricots two thumbs up!


 

39. Tiger Lilies

These used to grow in Rachel’s backyard when she lived in Doylestown, PA.


 

38. Carrots

They’re good for you!


 

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37. Sweet Potato Fries

ALL THE POTATO FEELINGS.


 

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36. Tegan & Sara “The Orange Demo”

I love “This is Everything” so much, I also think it’s a good song for kissing somebody you just recently fell in love with while you are autostraddling their lap.


35. Tigers

My favorite kind of tiger is probably Simba.


 

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34. Babies Dressed Up Like Tigers

I want to have a baby one day so I can dress it up like animals.


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33. Orange Cream Coolers

Olga’s in the mall has Orange Cream Coolers, if you wanted to go to the mall we could go together and get Orange Cream Coolers.


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32. The Rind of Munster Cheese

I like this kind of cheese so much that I rarely actually buy it because I feel like it’s too good to be true.


 

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31. Basketballs

“Basketballs are great because if you yell at them when they won’t go in the basket, they just keep doing their thing and they don’t get upset with you because they get it. They also are the best stress ball you could ask for. Spend some time caressing the leathery dimpled roundness of a basketball and there’s no way you won’t feel better.”

Brittani Nichols, Sports Editor


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30. Tigger

Love this guy. Barrel of laughs! Always in the mood to have a good time.


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29. Halloween

The official color of Halloween is orange.


 

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28. Ripley’s Shirt in “Lumberjanes

“Ripley’s shirt is orange because that’s the color Noelle colored it in her original character design. I think it’s because no one was wearing orange yet.”

Forever Intern Grace


 

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Riese in Illinois spirit gear circa 1984

27. The University of Illinois-Champaign

Because I got born in Champaign, Illinois, home of the Fighting Illini!


yvonne-orange26. The University of Texas – Austin

“Burnt orange does not look good on anyone but it is the official color of my alma mater, the University of Texas at Austin. And you better believe we have so much mothaf*cking TEXAS pride that we will wear our orange shirts frequently over four years and well into our post-grad days. We live and breathe one of our football mantras, “Come early. Be loud. Stay late. Wear orange.” Hook’em Horns!”

Yvonne Marquez, Associate Editor


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25. Reese’s Pieces

I actually invented these, that’s why I like them so much. I stood right there in the factory and said “HEY, MORE PEANUT BUTTER.” They ignored me but luckily peanut butter M’n’Ms also exist and are excellent in their own special way.


 

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24. Animal the Muppet

Animal represents the animal inside all of us yearning to be free.


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23. Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit, by Jeanette Winterson

OR ARE THEY???!!


 

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22. Scissoring


 

via shutterstock

via shutterstock

21. Nectarines

FRUITS ARE THE BEST OF ALL THINGS


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20. Cheez-Its

I used to think that I had some kind of stomach problem because whenever I ate Cheez-Its I would feel really sick afterwards but now I realize I was just eating too many Cheez-Its.


 

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19. Monument Valley

Sometimes when I look at pictures of beautiful things I’ve never seen with my own two eyes, I get “The Circle of Life” stuck in my head and it’s weird.


 

psh-up-pops18. Flintstones Push-Up Pops

These were my FAVORITES. Laneia used to save the plastic disc part from the bottom because they seemed really sturdy and reusable but she never really got to live her dream and figure out what to do with them, so.


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17. The WNBA Logo

The WNBA loves lesbians, y’all, and thus we love the WNBA. It’s sort of like when that girl from high school finally comes out and you’re like, oh good, now we can get real.


16. Cheddar Cheese

CHEESE IS THE BEST FOOD


 

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15. Hobbes from “Calvin and Hobbes”

“Hobbes is the best, he is an imaginary friend that blurs the line between real and make-believe. He looks like he would be great to cuddle with and his perspective on life was very valuable to me as I grew up. To sum, I leave you with this quote from a Calvin + Hobbes strip that I memorized in my youth. It’s from the G.R.O.S.S. chant– Three cheers for First Tiger and El Presidente, Hobbes! The delight of all cognoscenti. He’s savvy, he has a prodigious I.Q. And lots of panache, as all tigers do. In his fancy chapeau he’s a leader with taste, May his orders be heeded and his views be embraced.”

DJ Carlytron, A-Camp Special Programming Director


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14. Prescription Bottles

Nothing beats ’em.


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13. Fresh-Squeezed Orange Juice

My pal Marni and I recently had brunch at Little Louie’s cafe in Point Richmond and the fresh-squeezed orange juice was the all-time greatest, which was a big relief because it was also really expensive.


 

Riese in a pile of leaves circa 1984

Riese in a pile of leaves circa 1984

12. Autumn Leaves

As illustrated I have enjoyed the autumn leaves pretty much since birth.


 

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11. This picture of Rachel holding a bag of oranges in Palm Springs

Where did these oranges even come from? Also notice how Rachel is holding them as if the oranges are a baby in a diaper who needs to be changed. This is proof that Rachel will be a great mother one day.


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10. The Grand Canyon

IT’S ONLY ONE OF THE GRANDEST THINGS ON THE WHOLE GOSHDARN PLANET!!!


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9. Peaches

A bit of time ago, I was going on a hike, and like most of the times I go on hikes, it didn’t really occur to me until we arrived at the hike-site that maybe I should’ve eaten more than half an Odwalla bar for breakfast if I planned on, you know, hiking. Then my pal was like, here, I have a peach in my bag do you want to eat it, and I was like, yesand it was delicious. Then we hiked a billion miles and got super lost but that’s another story.


8. Clementines

I like clementines a little bit better than oranges, but they aren’t as versatile, so. Look at those tiny little rounded wedges of orangey goodness ugh.


 

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7. Bulleit Bourbon

This is the best Bourbon in the whole universe in my opinion, and therefore it is the best beverage in the whole universe.


 

6. Campfires

Because then it means we’re at camp. Can you bring your guitar and the flask and I guess also some water and a blanket, we can sit underneath it together.


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5. These Books

These are all the books on my bookshelves with orange spines! I was surprised there weren’t more, because Penguin really likes the color orange, but here we are. As you can tell I buy all my books brand new and then I keep my books in pristine condition.


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4. This Book


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the view out my bedroom window HAHAAHAHA JK I mean “via shutterstock

3. Sunsets

You can’t beat a sunset! One time I played rock-paper-scissors and sunset won EVERY TIME. Every single time you guys.


 

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2. Oranges

Oranges are the reason that oranges are orange.


 

I dunno I heard you guys kinda like this show? Confirm/deny?

I dunno I heard you guys kinda like this show? Confirm/deny?

1. Orange is The New Black

IS IT TIME YET LESBIAN JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER IS IT TIME YETTTTT

Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page

Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2859 articles for us.

59 Comments

  1. I haven’t finished reading this I just came here to tell everyone that circus peanuts are the fucking worst. I mean I’ve never actually tasted one so i’m just judging with my eyes and brainparts.

  2. i am here to protest persimmons on your list because they make my tongue feel gross and i think i am allergic to them and once i had to wear a persimmon bridesmaid dress and i hated it.

    also laneia let me direct you to this cover girl nail polish called “rogue red” which is actually glittery orange, like, are they stupid? it is definitely not red. it’s really good though. i bought it at rite aid, in a section marked ‘hunger games,’ so i dunno, it’s pretty fancy.

  3. I just want to say I really love 70,52,24. I am, one could say obsessed, with all things Muppets and Jim Henson. I was so glad to see them on the list. As well as 30 and 15, cartoon tigers are also a thing I immensely love. <3

  4. I just read this whole thing and now I desperately want cheetos and cheez-its but there are NONE NEAR ME and I might have to settle for cheese on a triscuit but it is just Not going to be the same.

  5. This is a fine piece of journalism, and I appreciate the diligence and research that goes into making such a thoroughly researched list, but… I must respectfully disagree with the placement of Cheez-it crackers so far above the perennial classic Goldfish crackers (is there even a cracker more perfect?).

    And also, I had forgotten about creamsicles. Thank you.

  6. I am massively disturbed by the lack of barbecue chips on this list.

    The only time I have seen a hazmat suit in action (in a picture in the newspaper), it was green. Maybe that’s because it was a bomb squad? Special colors for special departments?

    I’m not sure about all this strange hazmat suit business, so I think the bbq chips should take their place.

  7. Ahhhh…I love this article. Please never stop making “vapid fluff” articles. I was having a rough day you know trying to beat the patriarchy and this is just fantastic.

    DON’T EVER STOP & DON’T PUT BABY IN THE CORNER.

  8. Thank you for reminding me that David the gnome exists. I had the full collection of gnomes books on my shelf as a child and all the spines lines up together spelled out Gnomes…IN ORANGE!

  9. This post is actually kind of cute if you’re NOT from The Netherlands, where the national color is ORANGE and days such as Queens/Kingsday, sport events such as world/europian soccer championships, speed skating events are covered in this color. I can’t even walk into a grocery store without being vommited on by orange soccer memorabilia. My connotation with the color orange is bad bad bad, but I’m very happy for the show to be back.

  10. In Addition to Mylou’s post though : Orange is also the color of the Dutch field hockey team and those girls are not only the best team in the world (reigning Olympic champion) but have also 4 or 5 out players on the team.

  11. i have a theory that cantaloupe farmers have insane lobbyists who struck a deal requiring all fruit salads be at least 70% cantaloupe. that’s is the only explanation, right?

    #cantaloupeisnottheonlyfruit.

  12. My friend just told me she wasn’t allowed to watch David the Gnome because apparently it had really backwards ideas about the role of women. Her parents were afraid it would have a bad influence. Seeing he’s on a list on autostraddle, the influence couldn’t have been all bad?

    • i LOVED david the gnome growing up, but while writing this list i realized i can’t remember anything specific about it other than the episode where they save a bunch of bunnies on a raft, so who knows, really.

  13. This list is possibly my newest favorite thing ever. We were just learning about the sacral chakra in my yoga class today. Also the bit about 1967 orange Shelby Mustang was beautiful because my dad currently has a 1989 Shelby CSX which he’s thinking about selling and that’s the type of car he wants to buy. Also Claudia Donovan CAN WE JUST I definitely have had a crush on her when I was younger.

  14. First of all, YES ANY MUSCLE CAR THAT HAS BOLD COLORS IS STRAIGHT UP SEX.

    I LOVE CALVIN AND HOBBES!! My moms has been reading and re-reading my compilation books for the last 4 years I think. I never see those books anymore. She says she’s still using them. O.O

  15. After reading “creamsicles” my eyes glazed over into nostalgia mode, and I briefly longed for the creamsicle hair (bleached with a couple orange panels) I had when I was 19. Briefly. Every so very briefly.

    Also: candy corn. Circus peanuts made the list but not candy corn?? Clearly you didn’t consult a candy expert for this article, which really makes me question your journalism..

  16. I am a complete stranger who was goofy enough to type “things that are orange” into the advanced Google search. I was looking for something to complement white and green, and it so happens that orange is found in the flags of India and Ireland. (Also Niger, why may be a bit of a bummer, but that’s where we find our best evidence that there was once a “green Sahara.”) I landed here and I declare it to be utterly awesome. Sweet potatoes, monarch butterflies, pumpkins, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Grand Canyon, cheddar cheese, tigers, autumn, sunsets — I’m sold! A future civilization owes its color scheme to you. Thank you.

  17. You will actually be able to to discern exactly what shade of orange that is when you arrive. You know…for being such a judgmental bigot 😊. Hope you wear a tire for a necklace and some gasoline underwear 🔥

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