Girl-On-World: In Which Our Music Editor Visits The United Arab Emirates, a Tennis Court in the Sky

Welcome to Part 2 of Crystal’s big queer vacation. When I last checked in I was roaming the Mediterranean with my girlfriend; we got caught up in the romance of Malta and Sicily, pointed at some neat landmarks and ate our body weight in pastry products.

Regrettably, we’ve reached our final destination — the United Arab Emirates (UAE). The UAE is in the heart of the Middle East, neighboring Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Egypt & Somalia. Our plan was to explore 2 of its 7 emirates, Dubai and Abu Dhabi.

The United Arab Emirates is not the most popular holiday hot spot for the queer crowd. Here, being gay is not okay. Under Sharia, the law of Islam, homosexual conduct is punishable by fines, jail, deportation, or corporal punishment. (Or far worse, in neighbouring countries.) Despite knowing that many queer people must relocate or travel to Dubai often and without incident, I’ve gotta admit that I was a little nervous about spending time in a place where it’s possible to be persecuted just for being who I am.

Stepping off the plane in Dubai, I had no idea what to expect. Would I be able to read Autostraddle dot com? Would it be okay to check into the same hotel suite as my girlfriend? Will publishing this article earn me a life-time ban from the UAE? All important questions, none of which were answered by googling all of those questions in all their possible permutations the internet.

My mother, who’s been living and working in Dubai for a number of years, assured us that no suspicion or penalty would fall on our little homo heads. In fact — knowing that we had come from a place that can at times be just a tad Islamophobic — she made it her mission to debunk every concern and false preconception we had about Dubai, the UAE, and Islam in general. But more on that later.

First stop: Dubai

If Malta and Sicily were about tradition and romance, Dubai is about extravagance and excess. It’s a magical place where gold is sold from vending machines, gas flows at the same price as bottled water, and Muslim women bedazzle their abayas with jewels and diamonds.

Old Town, where we were staying, was immaculate. Every view in every direction looked like a postcard. Matching low-rise sandstone apartment blocks lined perfectly manicured courtyards, gardens and lakes, their palace-style exteriors and arched entrances a modern take on old Arabia.

Here, palm trees line absolutely everything — from malls and hotel foyers, to the man-made lakes that make the village appear like it’s afloat. There are even palm trees in the airport terminals. And because things in Dubai need to have just a little extra flair, those palm trees are decorated with fairy lights. Lots of fairy lights.


The first thing I fell in love with here were the people. Dubai has this beautiful, colourful population built from many ethnicities and, according to our proud taxi driver, up to 33 religions. Everybody here seems so happy, laughing and smiling always.

Many people in Dubai wore traditional Muslim dress – hajibs and abayas for women, and thawbs and bishts for men. Also, many didn’t. Those of us who were not Muslim were asked to extend just a few basic courtesies: dress modestly, act with humility, and don’t take photos of Muslim women. In tourist areas, ‘Modesty Police’ hand out educational brochures to tank-top wearing visitors who were unaware of local customs.

Leaving Dubai Airport, my mother pulled us into a Pink Lady Taxi – a taxi fleet operated by women, to support the safe and free movement of women and their children.

These taxis are not a new concept, but one that I wasn’t expecting to see in an area of the world often associated with the oppression of women. I’d never suggest that Muslim women are treated equally, or that oppression does not exist — but I thought I would see signs of it, and I didn’t. What we did witness were Arab men treating their wives like princesses, all 1 – 4 of them. And not just Arab women, either. I was treated with more courtesy and respect than I’ve been shown in many other countries.

Our activities in Dubai can be filed under four different labels:

1. Touring Hotels

In Dubai, alcohol is only permitted in tourist areas such as hotel restaurants and bars, and therefore we we were motivated to do a significant amount of hotel-hopping. We would have anyway, as the contemporary designs of Dubai’s 5-star hotels are so spectacular and downright mind-boggling that they’ve become popular tourist attractions.

Rather than visit historical landmarks, sightseers in Dubai will scramble for a glimpse of modern monuments such as the 7-star Burj Al Arab and its famous ‘Tennis Court in the Sky‘. They’ll flock to the dolphin-filled lagoons of Atlantis, or make reservations to have ridiculously perfect cocktails & appetizers on the picturesque waterfront of the Grand Hyatt. Apparently, taking photos of your food there is a ‘thing’.

There was one hotel in particular that I was genuinely eager to see: the aforementioned Atlantis, the popular underwater-themed hotel located on a palm tree-shaped island called The Palm.

My mother made no secret of the fact that she’d rather walk on hot coals than spend time at a themed hotel. However given that ‘see Atlantis’ was quite literally the only item on my Dubai to-do list, she relented.

Sadly, somebody super important also wanted to see Atlantis that day, and as such the hotel was temporarily off-limits to tourists. Cheerful security guards redirected us to a small corridor containing a Starbucks, some Neptune-esq lamp posts and a gold bullion vending machine.

Me: Atlantis is shit.
Mom: I told you so.

To cure my crushing disappointment, my mother whisked us away to a Jumeirah hotel where she introduced us to a far less tacky water concept: Abras. One of my all-time favorite tourist moments ever has involved a gondola and the canals of Venice and, while taking an Abra through a perfectly-sculpted lake didn’t quite have the exact same charm and authenticity, it was still beautiful.

2. Seeing Objects Classified as ‘World’s Biggest’ or ‘World’s Tallest

From what I can gather, Dubai is the place where the architects of the world hold their pissing contest. It’s home to numerous world record-breaking monuments, most notably the Burj Khalifa, the world’s tallest skyscraper, and the Dubai Mall, the world’s biggest shopping mall.

The Dubai Mall is 12.7 million square feet and home to 1,200 stores, an ice rink, an underwater zoo, and an aquarium that holds 10 million litres of water. I don’t know what that translates to in American but it’s f*cking huge.

We appreciated the insanity of jetting halfway around the world just to spend our days in hotel bars and shopping malls. It couldn’t be helped, though – not when there was a dry, 500-million degree heat outside. Whenever we saw an opportunity to be entertained in a large air-conditioned space, we didn’t pass it up – and it’s that attitude that no doubt influences developers to fill their malls with winter-themed recreational facilities. For example, the Mall of the Emirates’ indoor ski slope (another ‘world’s biggest’, of course). I was speechless. I’d seen photos, but they couldn’t prepare me for its real-life 3D ridiculousness.

No amount of photos could prepare me for the reality of the Burj Khalifa, either. The skyscraper’s 160 floors encompass the Armani hotel, plus observation decks, apartments, restaurants and corporate offices. Below is a picture of me standing in front of it. Can you see me? Exactly.


Inside the world’s tallest tower is the world’s highest restaurant, At.mosphere. It’s on the 122nd floor, a dizzying 422 metres up in the sky. We booked months in advance to secure a table right against the window, which provided us with a view of Dubai that was so far-reaching you could see past the city and into the desert. I’ve never once been affected by heights, however after 30 minutes the altitude started to mess with my equilibrium and I had to leave before the meal was over. Sadface.

3. Smoking Shisha / Lesbian-spotting

As a former cigarette smoker with an oral fixation, the highlight of our trip was being able to sit in the courtyard of our hotel, the Al Manzil, huffing on a shisha — flavoured tobacco that is smoked from a hookah, which is a large water pipe.

It was explained to us that shisha cafes are a popular part of Middle Eastern culture. Throughout the day, Emirati men would sit at the tables with their laptops and cell phones, smoking shisha for hours as they did business. In the evenings, the locals would flock to the cafes for a smoke in the same way that, back home, we’d go to the pub for a drink.

It was at the hotel’s shisha cafe that we had our first and only experience with Emirati lesbians. When the young girls first walked into the cafe they were covered head to toe in abayas and burqas. By the time they had reached their table, they’d shed their traditional dress like queer Clark Kents, revealing alternative lifestyle haircuts, tattoos, polo shirts and denim cut-offs.

When two of the girls began holding hands and kissing in plain view of the crowded cafe, I became concerned for them. My mind had equated their illegal behaviour to being as reckless as dealing crack in the hotel lobby. Clearly it wasn’t. While I was (probably) staring at these girls like they were a rare species, remarkably none of the local Emiratis or hotel staff nearby bat an eye lid.

I was beginning to notice that Dubai seems to operate under a ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ style policy when it came to homosexuality. And while there’s no way of knowing whether the same leniency would have been afforded to these young queers in other parts of Dubai, or the wider UAE, the possibility made my heart burst.

4. Seeing the ‘Real’ Dubai

After spending several days touring 5-star hotels with gold-plated escalators and obscene water features, my mother was eager to prove to us that Dubai had a soul. Off we went to Satwa, a suburb a few miles outside of Downtown Dubai that’s heavily occupied by migrant workers from India, Pakistan, Africa, everywhere. These were the people who kept Dubai running.

Compared to the rest of Dubai, Satwa felt most like home. The streets were lined with grocery stores and cheap restaurants filled with plastic furniture. People shopped from home wares from dollar stores with bright flashing neon signs and ate hot bread from street vendors. Pakistani men strolled down the street laughing and holding hands, because that’s what male friends do in Pakistan.

Me: How do people know that these men are friends and not lovers?
Mom: People here don’t suspect that people might be gay.

Next up, my mother insisted that we experience a real Abra, the sketchy kind that transports locals from one side of the city to another for an affordable fee. It was a far cry from the earlier Abra experience. Gone were the perfectly crafted ships and the sparkling blue man-made lake, and in their place were slightly less seaworthy vessels that skimmed across an actual body of water created by nature and not construction workers.

Second stop: Abu Dhabi

From Dubai, Abu Dhabi is a 1.5 hour drive through the desert on a camel-lined highway. These were the only camels we saw during our time in the Middle East because, as we quickly realised, camels are to the UAE what Kangaroos are to Australia. Sure, they exist – but you’re not going to see the locals riding them across the tarmac the moment you step off the airplane.

The road to Abu Dhabi is called Sheikh Al Zayed Road, named after the founder and late President of the UAE. Sheikh Zayed is a revered man. We realised this when we saw his face plastered on everything.

Our purpose for visiting Abu Dhabi was to take a tour of the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque, a stunning mosque that is open to tourists of all nationalities. It serves as both a place for prayer and as an educational centre for cultural understanding and tolerance. Unfortunately, it was closed.

We decide to stop in at the Emirates Palace, a government-owned luxury hotel that primarily hosts Emirati royalty and local and foreign dignitaries. The interior design was outrageous. Almost everything at the Palace was covered in gold, from the escalators to the restroom fittings. They even put gold flakes on the coffee.

It was at the Emirates Palace that we saw an exhibition for Abu Dhabi’s new cultural district, Saadiyat Island. Once completed, the Island will be home to the Louvre and the Guggenheim, as well as the Performing Arts Centre and countless museums and theatres. The replica models and plans left little doubt in my mind that Abu Dhabi will soon become the arts and cultural centre of the world, and I can’t wait for the day that I can return to the UAE and see it in all its glory.

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Crystal is Autostraddle's HR Director. She resides in Sydney, Australia, where she wears black clothing almost exclusively and listens to Green Day as enthusiastically as she did at 13.

Crystal has written 296 articles for us.

49 Comments

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    You look like if Ellen Page and Jorja Fox (from the original CSI) had a baby together. :)

    I wonder how a gold-dusted cappucino mustache looks like. Probably as glitzy as those palm trees. Those places look fantastic!

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    I used to go there many weekends when I was living in Oman. I was in awe then and I’m pretty sure I would be now.
    The sheer AMOUNT of everything is incred.

    I would intensely love to go back there.

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    aww this article is leaving me with so many #feelings… I used to live in Dubai 9 years ago, and a lot of the little things you said brought back memories… I used to live right off the Sheikh Zayed Highway in Jebel Ali (literally – Ali’s hill), and I haven’t been on the Palm since we used to take pit-stops there in our kayaks (no, not allowed. But its so close to the Marina…) and Satwa, where all the best (and cheapest) tailors work…

    another weird experience – I once went to a zoo in the UAE… on the way there you could see camels and exotic birds out of any car window, but the prize exhibits of the zoo itself were a shetland pony and a swan.

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    This was fascinating and shocking. Mostly fascinating! I have no idea what to make of it. First off, it sucks that the two things you’d truly looked forward to didn’t pan out, but on the other, how amazing you go to be there at all, and with your mama (and lady)! I mean really super incredible. It looks beautiful and wild and INDOOR SKIING my mind explodes.

    I have a question, and don’t hate me for being an idiot if this is a stupid thing to ask:

    How do you stop yourself from being affectionate with your girlfriend someplace like this? Did you consciously curb your gay because of your (legitimate) concerns – it certainly doesn’t look it! – and if so, did it bother you at all? M & I tend to limit travel destinations to ones where we’ll feel safe and comfortable comporting ourselves much as we do at home, but this has me doubting everything.

    Anyway, brilliant!

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      I’ve got a lot of self control when it comes to being affectionate in public, so that wasn’t a concern at all. But if I didn’t then I definitely would have curbed my gay, there are way too many news stories of people being arrested (or worse) for homosexual behaviour to take risks. I was nervous about was checking into the same hotel room as the gf, it didn’t seem like an awesome idea. It was fine though.

      If my mother didn’t live in Dubai then I probably wouldn’t have chosen it as a holiday destination. Although I felt safe, being in a part of the world where homosexuality is illegal didn’t feel overly comfortable. I guess, taking family out of the equation, I’d rather spend time in a place where I was accepted.

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        I envy your self-control and guts, and what you said about family being a factor makes perfect sense. We just got back from (an admittedly less glamorous and opulent but nevertheless fabulous) Florida, and I was so pleasantly surprised at how nice and friendly and progressive everybody was to a family with two gay moms!

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      People who are going to the Middle East know before hand that there are some crazy laws there. Besides, if you wanted to stay only in places where there weren’t gross violations of human rights, well, good luck remaining under self-imposed house arrest your entire life.

      I went to Morocco one time, where gays and women don’t have jack shit for rights, and are actively sought as targets of violence. Wound up having one of the best experiences of my life. One family could not tell if I was male or female, and they invited me and my two friends into their home for coffee and food.

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        I think the important thing is to make people aware of these laws, as most aren’t, and Dubai relies heavily, more so at this point than Oil, on it’s tourism industry.

        Also there are a few people out there who believe so strongly in Human rights that they won’t visit these places if made aware of all the information.

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          It’s the responsibility of the traveller to know the laws of the place they are going, not the other way around.

          It’s interesting. My view on this stuff has changed somewhat. My attitude on going to places like Saudi Arabia or North Korea (though that one might be tricky :D) used to be, “If you’re fortunate enough to have the opportunity to go to another place, why refuse? Life is short.” In recent years, it has become more like, “Life is short. Why waste your time in a place where you are essentially hunted?”

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          That’s my feeling too.

          Then again, I’ve traveled to some places where homosexuality isn’t criminalized but is definitely institutionally marginalized (Poland and Russia), but I am so, so glad I went and would even consider going again (I’d love to see Moscow, and my time in Poland was far too brief).

          I think I’ve written a comment about this experience before, but when I was in Japan earlier this year, I was actually stopped dead in my tracks by the thought, “The Japanese imprisoned my grandfather when he was a child and almost killed my great-grandmother.” That was not easy for me to deal with at ALL. What got me through it was the knowledge that it wasn’t each and every individual person who had done this to my family and countless others – in fact, most of the people I saw were small children or not even alive at the time! The situation is obviously different in Dubai etc, but I think a similar approach works there.

          /soapbox

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          Why did they imprison a child? If that question is too personal, just ignore.. no offense taken.

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          No, it’s fine. :) My grandfather grew up in Indonesia, and during World War II the Japanese took a lot of civilian prisoners-of-war in that area, including my grandfather and his family. By the end of it, his mother was so sick and malnourished that they couldn’t go straight back to Holland as planned and had to spend a year in Australia. Obviously it left some pretty big emotional scars in those who went through it, and smaller ones in those of us who grew up hearing the stories.

          What my grandfather went through actually pales in comparison with what went on in Nanjing and other parts of the region.

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    I lived in Dubai for 5 years. Dubai is definitely not as friendly as the article suggests and I’m not sure that the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy exists. Since the financial meltdown and the bubble bursting in Dubai there has been a massive crack-down on anti-Islamic morals (probably no coincidence that Dubai was bailed out by the more conservative Abu Dhabi). If you’re a woman and an expat, especially a British expat, you need to be very careful. There is a reason that Dubai is the number one country for British arrests in the world (see the recent case of a British doctor arrested for apparently sticking a finger up to a local guy. The doctor said the local guy had been beeping/flashing/tail-gating to overtake (on a one lane road) – the doctor’s word against the local guy and the doctor was arrested (even though the doctor’s family who were in the car confirmed the doctor’s story that the local guy had misread an open palm gesture). It’s a massively hypocritical country with one set of rules for some people and another for everyone else. Being caught in possession of alcohol without a license can get you put in jail but go to any bar in Dubai and see how many Muslim guys in local dress are drinking without fear of penalty. That’s before you even get to the anti-gay, anti-women stuff! A country that criminalises homosexuality but hires Samantha Ronson to DJ at the opening of the Atlantis. The same judge who sent a group of guys to jail for gang-raping a woman, sent the same woman to jail for sex outside of marriage. Malls are filled with shops selling skimpy clothes but a woman could get arrested wearing those clothes to the Mall! I could go on and on, you could honestly tear your hair out at the injustice of the place. Money and who you know rules there – morals are something that are confiscated at the airport with other contraband.

    If you visit Dubai chances are you’d leave without anything happening but did I feel safe living there? Not really. Take for example the time my gf and I were subletting an apartment in one of the building’s owned by the Sheikh’s wife. At 10pm at night I opened the front door to 3 massive security guards demanding to come in and find out why 2 women were living in a one bed apartment – needless to say we were gone by the morning.

    And yep, Autostraddle and most other LGBT sites are blocked with a message that is unfortunately not ironic, “this site is against the morals of the UAE”!

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      OK, so I’m not real clear on this.

      Would I, as a gun-owning, butch homo be accepted there?

      :D :D :D

      I’d have to see it with my own eyes, but going on your account alone, fuck the hell outta that place, I’ll stick with my dungheap apartment here in the States :D.

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    Sorry for this, but I feel like more research should have gone into this piece.

    I appreciate you’re were tourist and aren’t to blame but I wish more travel writers would realize the responsibility they have to look closer at the shiny facade, and report Dubai as it truly is, a city which represses every single faction of society if you are not an Arab Male, with money and connections. 15 years ago the same luxuries were afforded to expats living here, but those times have long gone, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

    There is a lot of fun to be had in Dubai, there is no denying that it can be wondrous, but for those living there, I wish I could implore people to stop encouraging the character it wishes to be, and start blaming it out loud, without inhibition or worry, for what is remains to be, a traditional islamic country, based on Sharia law, which denies most, if not all people, the right to live and be who they are.

    I cannot fault people for visiting, as I would become an utter hypocrite, having lived and worked in a place i once loved. I do not wish to take away from your right to visit, I simply wish that a more balanced and realistic view of Dubai was given.

    Brunches, beaches, after work cocktails aside, this is a country whereby almost 100% of the asian population are exploited and underpaid, hired as cheap bartenders/waitresses, masseuses or more likely prostitutes.

    Most Indian/Pakistani workers are treated as second class citizens. These taxi drivers you have described share small bedrooms (filled with bunk-beds) with 10 others, if they are lucky and send the small amounts they do earn back home to support their families. The pink taxi’s you have described are few and far between so most of the time you are subject to standard taxi’s where anti-Semitic rhetoric is common place.

    The two girls you described openly kissing is not common place, and remains a miracle that they were not arrested/deported/jailed, tortured or worse.
    As freedom of the press does not exist here, one relies on international news to report on the injustices faced by civilians everyday in Dubai. A few years back electroshock therapy was, as one example, punishment inflicted on two Indian men for “homosexual behavior”, following an attempt they had to hold a private “commitment ceremony”. In a city where the raped becomes as jail-able as the rapists, perhaps even more so depending on your nationality, it becomes harder to enjoy the brunches and fantastic views from Dubai’s tallest tower in the world.

    Many articles have been written internationally in more detail about the atrocities in Dubai, including the few I have mentioned above, so perhaps Autostraddle could investigate the truth behind this “golden city”, not necessarily discouraging, but warning people, especially the LGBT community where and what their tourist money is going towards. Hopefully, the brighter the spotlight is shone on Dubai, the more likely it will be that a country which remains to have such a strong promise, lives up to its potential.

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      Thanks for your comment. I appreciate that you – and Kat (above) – have taken the time to share your experiences from this part of the world. Clearly you’ve been able to gain insights that I couldn’t gain in just one week.

      Like my previous Girl On World articles, this one is just a personal account of what I did and observed on my holiday – it definitely wasn’t intended to be an investigative piece of journalism about homosexuality and human rights in the Middle East. I wanted to be up front about the possible repercussions of homosexual behaviour in the introduction because I didn’t want to mislead anyone into thinking that the UAE is a place where all people are treated well, and equally. I know that’s far from the truth. But I also know that I’m not the best person to elaborate on that.

      In the 2+ years of writing for Autostraddle, I’ve never once written about LGBT issues, religion, or politics, because I don’t believe that I have the smarts or the communication skills to pull those articles off. If one of our other writers, like Riese or Rachel, had gone on this holiday then this probably would have ended up being a very different piece.

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        Hi there, completely understand this was written as a travel piece, and just thought i’d add an alternative view point. If I had been on holiday for a week I would definitely have had the same thoughts as you did.

        With experience of living there, I just wanted to make people aware that it is becoming increasingly conservative and just to re-iterate, Dubai at present only works because of its tourist industry and massive expat population yet it’s unwilling to give these people (who make Dubai run) any rights. I know there are worse places definitely to visit or live, but my problem is Dubai mis-sells itself really as a semi liberal city competing on a world stage and at the moment has not reason to change as people seem to just accept it at face value.

        Anyway, apart from my rantings I do hope you had a good holiday! :)

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        Random fact: when kangaroos in Australia are hunted commercially, the roo hunting licence you need to go after them requires a kill method of gunshot to the head.

        I moved away from one of the big cities… it has been quite normal for the past few years to go for a walk in the bushland with the kangaroos in the evening, and come back home for a dinner of roo after! Admittedly, from the supermarket ;)

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          Up in the Pilbara, a kangaroo once ran smack-bang into the side of my stationary car. Therefore, I do not recommend the riding of kangaroos, as they have terrible eyesight and may carry you astray.

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          The other half has a hard time with it because whenever she eats it, she pictures cute widdle kangaroos jumping through the bush, haha. I grew up eating bunnies so I am immune to such things!

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          I ate roo meat down under but I cooked it myself. The first portion, I cooked to well-done by accident (hard as nails to eat) but the second time was medium, as it should be ideally. It was soft and edible but it tasted like lamb/liver to me. It wasn’t my thing. I’d have to try it in a restaurant for a better taste experience.

          It’s supposed to be healthy…

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    I have always wanted to go to Dubai, but it seems a little impractical for me. Plus, ever since that news came out about them not being nearly as rich as they seemed and in serious debt, I wondered if it really is a safe destination. Also, for a Middle Eastern Muslim country, I got the impression it’s rather westernized and catered to outsiders. Still, if you’re going to the Middle East, what better destination is there? Very jealous of your amazing trip!

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    Shameless self-promotion time!

    I’d love some of the travel wisdom and advice to find it’s way to the comment sections of flybydyke.blogspot.com

    (There are pictures of bunnies in every post).

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    If that isn’t bad enough when asked who was in charge, Alexa raises her hand. I think she ate chitlins in excess because I will not touch them today. You want to get the pipe under the water, but only by a small amount.

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