For those who believe in it, astrology can be a powerful tool for introspection and self-knowledge — or you can use it to talk shit about your ex and obsess over your crush. Journey with us as we do both, and then head to the comments to live your truth.
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Vanessa Friedman, Community Editor
I AM A CAPRICORN DATING A CAPRICORN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFE AND I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE ONLY BECOME MORE INSUFFERABLE DUE TO THIS DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE I NOW HAVE PROOF THAT WE ARE, IN FACT, THE PERFECT DATE. Okay but seriously, Capricorns have their shit together, communicate clearly, text when we say we’re going to text, show up on time, are highly competent and confident, take sex very seriously in the best way, and are very very hot. DATE A CAPRICORN, YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT. WE ARE GREAT. (The downside is we’ll tell you often how great we are but listen, I’m sorry, we’re not wrong.)
Drew Gregory, Writer
Vanessa insists the secret to dating as a Capricorn is dating other Capricorns, a thing I have never done, but am very into trying. My DMs are open.
KaeLyn Rich, Writer
I’ve always been curious about dating a fellow Cap. Would we just overprocess together until we work ourselves out of a relationship? Or maybe we’d get so wrapped up in our own ambitious pursuits that we’d forget to be humans together? I imagine silent co-work dates at the coffee shop and mind map sessions over family style take-out. That honestly all sounds great to me, but I think it better describes what I want in a friend than a lover. We’d get boring very fast.
Stef Schwartz, Vapid Fluff Editor
I love a date with a plan! I’m a Cap rising (I’m told it’s why I’m good at being a boss?) and I find ambition super hot. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a significant romantic entanglement with a Capricorn but I have at two separate times had longstanding casual bar-makeout situations with Capricorns? That’s a weird thing to realize about yourself. Anyway I love a good Capricorn, I guess.
Carolyn Yates, Writer
The best tops. Sorry not sorry.
Rachel Kincaid, Managing Editor
Capricorns, in my experience, are the most intense and uptight of earth signs in a way that can be fantastic — they’re ambitious and will put everything into getting what they want and that intensity is hot — and also can be incredibly frustrating! Let me know when you’re done just… glowering in the corner about your emotions, I guess! Sex is great though. Maybe get a therapist.
Mika Albornoz, Writer
Positive: Dios mio ayudaaaaaaaa. I LOVE capricorns, SO much. Something about their work ethic, which I mean “work” broadly, since everything IS work for Capricorns. Either way… since everything is work they put an incredible amount of intentionally into everything which is…. a sext to me. The fire sign of the earth signs TBH. Cap placements are just hot because being serious and forward and taking charge IS hot.
Negative: They can be cruel when wronged, which is like a lot. And they can be wronged by you being late to like a Skype date for 10 minutes. Their cruelty comes out as wanting to hurt you back, in like, not unconscious or unintentional way, rather in the opposite, like look at you in the eye while I do it kinda of way so you know I did it