The Real L Word Recap: Episode 201 – Fresh Start Body Parts

Francine couldn’t pick up Claire from the airport ’cause she had to stay late at work, so Claire’s just been hanging out in Francine’s apartment, hopefully reading Francine’s email and trying on all her shoes.

wouldn’t it be fun if francine was coming to her house for an extreme home makeover

Claire reminds us that she left her:

1. life

2. girlfriend

to

1. give this girl a chance.

Claire drops that Francine’s apartment looks better than it did last time Claire visited. Yes, let the ex-girlfriend games begin!

This argument is like pure Shakespeare!

Highlights:

Claire: “You can’t just say things like that and then pretend like, that you don’t say things like that.”

Franny: “Why L.A.? That’s so random for you — you always used to talk shit about L.A., why would you — why are you here?”

Franny: “So what are you doing I’m just trying to understand–”
Claire: “I’m not trying to do anything.”

Franny: “But you have a girlfriend why are you in L.A., this is awkward — if you’re in love with a girl then why are you here–“

Claire: “Franny, you have every right to be angry with me but don’t say mean things –“

Franny: “I’m done, I’m done, I’m not gonna be a fucking pathetic person and wait around for your ass.”

Claire: “You know why I’m here.”
Franny: “Why?”

Claire: “What did I say that’s mean?”
Francine: “All the time when you used to call me and say I have the best girlfriend ever and I’m still in love with a piece of shit like you. That’s fucked up.”

And for the grand finale:

Franny: “You want your cake and you wanna eat it too. You want Vivian but you don’t want me to forget about you and you know what that is? That’s fucking selfish. You just need to be honest with yourself and the other people around you because you’re stomping on other people for your own benefit right now.”

This is one of those moments where I’d like to step back, evaluate the scene and declare Claire a complete asshole, but I know that she actually isn’t, like, in real life. So I don’t have any fucking idea what’s going on here.

dotted-divider2

Romi & Kelsey are out on the town, trying to get drunk enough for Romi to power through her PTSD and fuck on camera again.

Cocktail Goggles

After mumbling to each other in a secret language, they head back to the hotel to do it.

Then Romi just fell asleep.

I think the problem is this: Romi says she loves that Kelsey doesn’t have eyes for anyone but her and that to Kelsey, Romi is “it.” But if she really wants to be everything to one person, she’s gotta give that one person a lot of everything, too. It’s only fair.dotted-divider2

Whitney’s sneaking out to go hook up with someone her friends don’t want her to hook up with. And who hasn’t been there, am I right?

you got a fast car, i got a plan that’ll get us out of here

Rachel is totally delirious like in the movie “Lost & Delirious,” which like The Real L Word, is about lesbians and totally stupid yet oddly appreciated by about a billion more people than I’d expect.

Whitney: “I didn’t even tell Alysssa that I was leaving.”

It’s time for a WHITNEYISM:

Whitneyism: “Yeah if I’m hiding something I’m probably doing something. But like on who’s accord is that? Who says I’m doing something wrong. Is it myself? Do I have a guilty conscious about it? Or is it about the wrath of Alyssa or all of the above? I’m gonna go with C, all of the above.”

Seriously the whole episode was worth it just for that one moment.

Whitney: “Sara is like a drug to me. It’s like putting a big ol bag of heroin in front of a heroin addict and telling them they can’t touch it.”

dotted-divider2

Kacy & Cori are lying on a bed, talking about sperm donors. The sperm donor’s supposed to call them to chat but he’s not calling, which is because he’s a boy and boys are mean and evil and they shouldn’t get to keep all the sperm!

he just doesn’t understand what it’s like to be ovulating a month from now

Kacy: “We’re those girls, waiting by the phone for a boy to call.”

This guy really wants to  keep his sperm though:

i love the “…” and the “..” preceding his chat

From my heart to Cori’s mouth —

Well, I need a cold shower, a cocktail, a nap and c–all of the above. 

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3262 articles for us.

139 Comments

  2. Pingback: The Real L Word Recap: Episode 201 Fresh Start Body Parts | Great Britain and World News

  4. im very confused about this show, probably because i can’t afford this fancy channel

    but i feel like we should all get shirts made to show we’re we place in this whitney individual’s life.

    like six degrees of separation, but with ex ex ex friend of a cousins sister’s brother’s ex’s best friend’s gnomes puppies ex’s bbq grill

  6. And before you say it… yes, there were a few more comments like that… ‘the math’ thing, etc. but like i said… I’m keeping my comment light.

  7. …the whole point of sarcasm is that people generally don’t feel that way when they’re being sarcastic.

      • The longer you continue with that attitude, the worse life gets for each black person on Earth. My 11-month-old nephew is black and white and just crapped his diaper. If you don’t want that to continue, stop it right now.

      • no one has used the word ‘racist’ by the way but you and maybe another commenter. i know that you are assuming that i’m black. but nevertheless, all i was suggesting was that there were other ways to be funny about the dancing or whatever else. too bad what was printed was the best effort. i’m just sayin’… *shrug*

        Thanks for the response though. I enjoyed it. :D

        • nope, i never assume that the person commenting about the portrayal of a certain group/race/gender/orientation/religion/body-type is of that group/race/gender/orientation/religion/body-type’ because actually usually it isn’t.

          anyhoooo! i know nobody used the word racist. that was me using hyperbole. hyperbole, sarcasm… all the tricky tricks in the book, august!

          In any event, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I have to write a lot of jokes every day so they’re not all golden. :-)

          • I actually laughed pretty hard at that joke, cause it was lame and ‘stupid’ in a very good way. My kind of sense of humor. 8-)

            Very late comment cause I just discovered AS and your recaps and i am reading them all right now cause that is genius writing (your intern is doing a good job with the pictures as well).

    • Also sarcasm: IFC wanted to have a black person on the show for the right reasons.
      Not sarcasm: She’s sick of being asked about ‘diversity’ and thought she could kill more than one bird with a black, not femme, not skinny white woman.

      I am reminded of Julie Goldman gagging in the parody. (not sarcasm).

  8. ‘she gets under my soul’ .. ‘i know in the depths of my brain’ .. “taking a toll on my soul’

    (i have nothing more to add)

  10. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that little pan to Romi’s vadge was unnecessary.

  11. I was supposed to go to the gym when I got up but instead I read this. And it was hilarious. I have to watch it tonight.

    Also, the more I see of Romi, the more she reminds me of my most recent ex…not only do they look somewhat alike but they’re both really weird and needy, it seems.

  12. I couldnt even finish reading the article before commenting on: “WHITNEY TAKES THE HEAVY STUFF, AND ALYSSA DRIVES THE CAR, AND THEN THEY SIT BACK AND MAKE JOKES ABOUT THE WAY THINGS ARE.”

    I have been reading AS since 2008 and I can honestly say I have never laughed this hard. You are always full of win Riese.

    • now I can’t decide between that and “You’ve got a fast car and I’ve got a plan to get us out of here”

      hahahaha

  15. Pingback: The Real L Word Recap: Episode 201 | newstimesworld

  16. …. I don’t even have words for this. I read the recap so I knew what I was getting into. Still, I can’t even. IFC, can you please maybe just go away?

  17. Where’s Tor??!!
    Seriously, do you guys know where she is?
    was she like “fuck this shit AND whitney cause she looks like the john travolta character from “Battlefield Earth” and the Predator! I’m outta here!”

    Kelsey is like the smart-ass friend that would completely understand me or completely clash with my smart-ass attitude and hate me and we’d punch each other the fuck out.

    • Also!!!(I’m so drunk right now, sorry)
      I was trying to figure out what the new season reminded me of, with all it’s random city shots and shit, and I realized that it was “The Real World.” Anyone else get that?

  18. I started reading this at work… realized it was NSFW. Rushed home, watched the show. And finished now. SO HILARIOUS. Thanks for making Monday a little more bearable.

    This season looks like it’ll be a little more entertaining (read: more like The Hills or Laguna Beach; less about buying chandeliers, redecorating).

    Also, holy nudity, Batman!

  19. I actually thought the same exact thing in a not sober, totally joking around with my friends, sort of way. Guess I’m an ass as well.

    “Hey! She dances like I do! I’m not a total spastic dork either!!”

    Isn’t this whole fucking show based on Chaiken’s need to perpetuate all the dykey stereotypes to the mainstream (or at least all the Showtime subscribers?)
    I agree with mko about her wanting to kill more than one bird with certain characters just so she wouldn’t get shit about diversity and shit.
    I’m also gonna go ahead and blame her (Chaiken) for making me drink/smoke waaaaay tooooo much during the show. waaaaay toooo fucking much. i thought today was saturday what wjhdowk I just realized my bedroom door has a motherfucking lock! I’m gonna feel like shit/death later today you guys, anyone in van nuys cali. want to bring me some relief, please help. for a mere dollar a day you could help feed me. wish I could disapparate into two days from now.

  20. What’s with all the strap-on/sperm references? Is it pandering to the straight demographic or something?

    It’s just annoying to me that people watching this think lesbians just sit around all day fucking off each other with strapons and discussing sperm.

  21. Sara’s Bert eyebrows really bother me. Tor the baby koala was so much cuter. I miss her. And WHERE’S SCARLETT? I want her back!

    Also, did anyone else think it was adorable the way Kacy and Cori’s cat was sandwiched between them at the end all like, “It’s okay you guys!”

    Shit. My excitement re: the new season, my investment with this show, my girl crushes on Scarlett/Tor, my secret desire to be friends with Whitney, my time spent on this site, my obsession with LGBT characters on TV, my TLW DVD collection…how am I still straight? I think I may be one Pride Week away from joining the rainbow coalition, myself.

  22. This show is my guilty pleasure. I live in Australia, so I watch it online. I read this recap straight after I finished watching it.
    Made. My. Night. (it’s about 12:40 AM here in Australia, ie. already Tuesday)

    Also: Romi might say/do some stupid shit but hey, go ahead and call me a “typical pervy slutty bisexual”, cos I ain’t complaining about all the nekkid shots!

    @Nina – wow, straight people read AS? That’s pretty awesome.

  23. I’ve had three hours of a sleep and was about to head to a walk in clinic to get a mysterious pain checked out, but then I had to stop and read this post. It was so worth it. I’m in physical pain but I could not tear myself away. I think I woke my roommate up with my spurts of laughter. Now, to get that medical help..

  24. :O

    Man, Whitney is gonna look back at all her documented sexins and regret it…big time.

    Hell, I am already regretting it for her!

  26. “…just tell me if this orange has been in anybody’s asshole before i eat it”

    That’s exactly what I asked the produce guy at the grocery store last week. Huh.

  27. Riese, thank you for walking with us through the valley of the shadow of brain-death that is this show. I am now having a really confusing fantasy of being in space with Jedi Whitney while Ani DiFranco and Tracy Chapman jam in a corner

  28. Episode 1 and I already feel like the only person in this cast who isn’t a complete waste of space is Sadjah. It’s like she’s on a completely different show from the rest of them. Can we cut back on Whitney’s screentime and give more of it to Sadjah and her community activism?

    And I am going to slightly disagree with Diver by saying that not even one (white) person looks good with dreads. Not one.

  29. Was I the only one who thought Romi’s comment, “She makes me feel like I’m the only one in the world, that she’s not even looking at anyone else. And I want that, I NEED that,” was a little creepy?

  30. A- Love this! Well done.

    and 2- Gross, pandering, exploitive, wtf?, really?, wait-what?, why would someone let that be filmed?

    Also, IFC is quite possible the anti-christ.

  31. They should warn for acute vicarious embarrassment induced death.

    My cringing measured 5.3 on the Richter scale.

  33. IFC is such an ass for not giving you guys credit. but then again, why am i not surprised?

    • Know what made me hate IFC even more? The fact they mentioned the New Zealand Red Cross out of nowhere and they didn’t credit AS. It would not surprise me if the NZRC had paid them to do that.

      Also, thanks for recapping the show Riese. I know it must cause you a great deal of pain to have to watch this shit and then write about it but your recaps are so hilarious.

      • JUST WAIT ‘TIL NEXT WEEK WHEN THERE’S A FULL SHOT OF ANOTHER LESBIAN WEBSITE ON A LAPTOP WITH TWO OTHER LESBIAN MAGAZINES SITTING NEXT TO IT!

        then you’ll really know why i spent the afternoon in the fetal position crying with tinkerbell.

        • Am I the only one confused by that random shout out? I was thinking “Wait I don’t get how the are doing something for the NEW ZEALAND Redcross?” They’re in LA…how does that work?”

          Also hugs for Riese.If I’m ever in LA and I see the Real L word camera crew I’ll strip naked and run in front of them with a big signing with AUTO STRADDLE.COM= Real Lesbians on it just for you.

    • The only reason I ever started paying attention to this show was because of the hilarious AS recaps. The show’s lack of consideration for this community BLOWSSSSS.

    • gosh. “Princess of The Real L Word”? “…and then became famous”? I really hope she didn’t create that website ’cause I would be sooooo embarrassed for her.

    • Yeees. I still refuse to watch the show, but the Sajdah and Kelsey parts of the recap make me feel like I could watch their storylines and not want to die of whiskey halfway through.

    • Romi’s girlfriend is a babe. Romi talks a big game about her feelings for Kelsey, yet, I don’t really see the follow through /sports metaphors

  36. I loovee these recaps. I think it’s all the sarcasm and humor. btw does anyone know the name of the song that plays after the whitney/sara bedroom scene?

    • yeah, didn’t she say tell tor romi had raped her after the whole cream corn fest… ……I mean can you even technically rape someone who is wearing a strap-on?

      too late
      too drunk
      time for bed!

  38. “(I was going to make a graphic representing Whitney’s brain here but I couldn’t think of enough things to fill it with).”

    Fill it with hats!

  39. Yes! this is SO hilarious oh my god. EVERY picture with sara photoshopped into it for whitney quote-context was pure gold. and chanel’s picture framed with glittering unicorns. oh my god. cant stop laughing. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH RIESE.

    on another note:

    claire and kelsey are hot. and kacy and cori are adorable/funny. also francine’s verbal smackdown was totally epic. sajdah is interesting to watch but im not really into the whole prowling-lesbian-antics type of storyline.

    everything else about this show i am totally “meh” about. the unnecessary Romigina and sara’s apparent famewhoring are annoying and super cringeworthy. also whitney in general makes me want to go shower -without camera surveillance- every time she is on the screen.

    kelsey, run away, NOW. also did no one notice at the table with romi’s friends she looked like 99% cryface? kelsey seems likeable and totally not deserving of romi’s mindgames. also requiring large amounts of booze as a prerequisite to sex is probably making 234938 lesbians recount drunk-enough-to-sleep-with-boyfriend sex.

    aaand fuck ifc. that is shady and rude.

  40. I. Die.

    You are a genius Riese. This is so effing funny. I didn’t watch this show last season, but I’m gonna have to watch so I can read these.

    • You don’t have to watch to read these. In fact, the recaps are so far superior to the show that it would be the equivalent disappointment of book-turned-movie.

      Don’t bother with IFC especially since she screwed you.

      Just stick with the genius! You’ll spend less on booze and preserve more brain cells too!

  41. First, bravo Riese, I am a fan of your recaps and your sarcasm.
    Second, should I be ashamed to admit that I really like all of the “new” cast members? I would be completely content with this show sans the Whitney love polygon.
    And third, could IFC really not wait until at least episode 7 again to flash Romi’s chachi? Ugh.

  42. This recap is my first exposure to the show so I am really confused.

    Question of the day: WHO IS WHITNEY FUCKING/WANTING TO FUCK?

    Also, Kacy and Cori sure do talk about sperm a lot for lesbians. =/

    • WHO IS WHITNEY FUCKING/WANTING TO FUCK?

      -Basically everyone in a 5ft radius with a pussy. It must be the power of the clam, or the sweet musk of year old lubed up cream corn in her dreads.

  43. This recap was hilare, Riese!

    I was also blown away when Whitney wore a beanie on top of a different beanie. It kind of reminded me of that Dr. Seuss book about the boy with 500 hats or something…every time he takes one off, there’s another one under it. The only time Whitney is hatless is when she’s getting down with Sara, that’s how you know it’s business time.

  44. Alyssa: “So, do you wanna sleep with Rachel?”
    Whitney: “Nooo.”
    Alyssa: “Really? Two days ago you said you were going to have sex with Rachel.”
    Whitney: “Oh. My. GOD! Alyssa!”
    Alyssa: “You did, I’m just saying, I want to know if that changed now.”

    lol my favorite part…Alyssa has the best lines

  45. And here is where you will cry softly to yourself as I fuck someone else in the other room

    and

    Alyssa, just tell me if this orange has been in anybody’s asshole before I eat it

    killed me, in the best way possible. Incidentally, reading about the actual Whitney parts also killed me, but in a painful brain smoothie kind of way. Thank you for your sacrifice, Riese. And fuck you very much, IFC.

  49. Okay. So……

    I’m convinced that this season’s first episode was hellbent on proving that the chart is real. All these damn ex’s.

    Also, has there EVER been a time that Whitney’s dreadlocks looked good? All of the past pictures have not proved that to me yet. I still look at them and imagine the smell of creamed corn.

    HEY SHOWTIME AND IFC> FUCK YOU. I mean, we all could have had a title card of the film clip that gave us context for our few minutes of fame. GOT DAMN. Was it really that hard to write, “Autostraddle Calendar Shoot?” For the amount of time that y’all spent with those big ass cameras, y’all could have put some more shit on the show. Really. Make Francine be at a photoshoot for three days like you did with Tracey.

    Claire, Vivi? HOT. FRANNY? HOT. What a dilemma, you lucky motherfu…..

    Also, why is everybody moving from NY to LA?

    Also, when did Whitney become an artist? When did Whitney become the 5th Teletubby? Why is she wearing two hatssss?

    Rachel: HILARIOUS. Mary and Rhoda line? Awkward as fuck.

    Sajdah, I’m laughing soooo hard. Babygirl, I can’t imagine you straight ever? But then again I’ve heard, eating pussy deepens one’s voice.

    Sajdah created a new dance: The Pussy Bump. It’s a great mating call. But Chanel has a booty. But the weave……..oh the weave……..

    Francine is calling the SHIT out of Claire in this first episode. Claire is like, “Don’t say mean things…” and Francine is like *subtle neck roll* “Bitch you wantcho cake…”

    The sex also feels mighty exploitative. I will be so embarrassed to meet Sara in real life after that scene. I feel like a voyeuristic intruder. Something that real is only sexy when it’s fictional…..

    ALSO Cigarettes got better close-ups than Autostraddle. FUCK YOU AGAIN IFC.

    THIS EPISODE WAS TOO MUCH. I LOVED EVERY FUCKING MINUTE OF IT.

  50. OMG WHITNEY AND ALL OF THE ANALOGIES…. I feel like… this recap is like a kitten and I’m an otter and that’s why I’ll always feel this physical, sexual attraction to it.

    Riese, I think this recap of TRLW is my favorite so far. The reference to Pretty Little Liars made me laugh for a loooong time. I just love everything about it. I’d still love it if its vagina were broken.

    • That was my favorite part too. Also, “Romi & Kelsey are out on the town, trying to get drunk enough for Romi to power through her PTSD and fuck on camera again.”

  52. I love that Kelsey’s facial expression never changes throughout the screen caps @ dinner.

    also, I LOVE CLAIRE.

    great recap <3

  53. I went from wanting to puke to wanting to cuddle through the whole show. The scene with Kacy & Cori waiting for the sperm donor to respond… “I’m sorry. That this is so hard.” …broke my fucking heart. Also, not to make light of it but this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvlYwAcWjy4

    Thank you, Riese. A diamond amongst dirt, you are.

  54. Watching The Real L Word season 2, I was anticipating hearing about LA Fashion week between edits, the phrase “Stamie and the kids”, and Jill and Nikki’s overpriced wedding. It’s surreal to not hear all that any more.
    Also, I feel like Whitney had just recently learned the word “soul” before the taping.
    Next time, I will do it the stoned way. This was too hard.

  55. Not to worry autostraddle. I told everyone I watched it with that the photoshoot was all Robin Roemer and for Autostraddle.

    So like, my girlfriend is well informed now.

  56. This show was invented entirely for Autostraddle to comment on it. This. is. brilliant.

    I think its a conspiracy.

    Now I’m off to do a white girl dance.

    Do I go to home depot for that?

    Is that sarcasm or realism?

    Help me I have no hat on!

    • Home depot has hats..
      Or just ask Whitney, she seems to have two.

      Also I read this post before watching. I think that’s how it should be.

      • Same thought exactly. I’ve never watched the show before but I read the recaps. Tonight I watched the show having already read this brilliance last night. It’s the only way the show is tolerable.

        How to Real L Word:

        1. Read Riese’s recap

        2. Recover from hysterical laughter/take a time out

        3. Optional – watch show, preferably from a non-revenue generating source

        4. Drink between/during all of above after 1. You don’t want to miss anything from step 1.

  57. It’s funny you mentioned The Hills thing, the other day I thought it was just like The Hills minus the men and twice the drama

  58. i havent watched the episode yet since it is not aired in the Philippines.. where can i watch it??????? or download? I’ve watched all of the episodes of season 1 from youtube before…

    based on the recap, i think whit is starting to get on my nerves, and sara as well.. and some other lezzies here.. are they being fake just to be famous???!! ugh…..

    anyways, whether i like what they’re doing or not doesnt matter, because i still want to watch this show coz it’s one of the ways (aside from going through AS and AE.com) that i could get some dose of lesbian medicine to relieve me from the pain i feel due to a queer-deprived, lonely lesbian life… just saying.

    i like you riese, you’re a funny gal! :)) keep those hilarious recaps coming!!!! :)))

    i’m tired and i’m going to sleep…

  59. i admit i’m a prude, but just…ugh. the sex/nude scenes make me feel so dirty inside.

  63. are there every any sex scenes where someone is fucking whitney? or is she always doing all the fucking?

  65. i like to think of whitney’s hats as keeping the many small animals and sex toys living in her hair warm and safe.

  66. yay recaps! reading the recaps was always much better than the actual show. Admittedly i gave up on season 1 before the strap on episode… it was all just getting way too awkward.

    Also; If Alyssa is starting a cult of sensibility i am *so* there…. i’ll bring the hummus.

  69. Hi guys!

    I have a PSA that I need to tell you peeps in watching this show or any h.a.m (hot ass mess) of a situation that the TRLW shows:

    It’s the summer and lesbians are in heat so remember spay neuter your lesbians by scissoring.

    Thank you.

  70. If I could only only one website to access for the rest of my life, it’d be AS.

    That’s right, I’d sacrifice gmail for TRLW recaps!

  71. Fav Whitneyism and subsequent reaction:

    Whitney: You just get under my…soul. Its a form of leprosy slowly eating away at my limbs and my skin, thats what you are.

    Sara: I like those limbs

    Am I missing something here? When did comparing someone to infectious diseases start working? Girl’s got game.

    Anyway, bravo, Riese!

    • I know what you’re saying. I can speak a little whitney, let me ‘splain.

      Whitney: You just get under my…soul. Its a form of leprosy slowly eating away at my limbs and my skin, thats what you are.

      translation: some how we are alike and now i want you. you were really hurtful to others and took a piece of them with you and left ’em with open wounds. you’re probably going to do worse (like leprosy) to me because I really like you, so I shouldn’t.

      open wounds eventually heal, leprosy takes longer, leaves you disfigured and a mess (kinda what happened to her after the rachel thing). she doesn’t wana go through that again.

      sara read it like this:

      Whitney: You just get under my…soul. Its a form of leprosy slowly eating away at my limbs and my skin, thats what you are.

      sara’s brain’s translation: we both like sex a lot and especially sex with each other (so much in common!). I want you all over me like a skin diseases.

      so in the end i think whitney was like “I tried to tell her it’s not a good idea,” but gave in when sara misread whitney’s wishy-washy metaphor.

  73. I love your recaps! The double hat thing made me laugh really loudly. Also, that thing about the Autostraddle photoshoot is serious bullshit.

  74. Whitney: “Sara is like a drug to me. It’s like putting a big ol bag of heroin in front of a heroin addict and telling them they can’t touch it.”

    Ummm… gee Whitney it kinda seemd like to me that you were snorting that heroin pretty good.

  75. the hilarious gay incorporated “pussy sauce” not “pussy juice”. minor correction.

    the exchange b/t claire and francine was like watching two dogs barking at one another in some strange language. as much as i think claire is one hot tamale, she needs to take a note from riese and join the “read a fucking book club”

  76. I wonder when iTunes will post the new episodes. I don’t have Showtime and will have to follow the zany adventures via Autostraddle in the meantime.

    • [Link removed. We prefer that people don’t post illegal links on the site. Sorry!]

      watch it. It’s probably best if you play shots after every time…
      1. you see tops come off
      2. sara calls whitney
      3. sperm is mentioned
      these three guarantee you will pass out faster than romi tonight

      • hey heads up, you might want to remove the link that’s farther up in the comments page . that’s the last one. sorry, im making you work overtime here.

  77. “Whitney in her car, wearing her Princess Lea/UFO-Communicator knitted helmet” Literally laughed outloud at work to this. You are HIL-AR-IOUS. I agree with the shot of Romi’s cooter…what was that about?? I’m intrigued with the couple tryin to have a baby cause this is something bein seriously discussed between my gf and I, and idk they are kind of endearing to me :D…but we’ll see how future shows go. I think Claire looks like a TOTAL asshole and you say you know her and she isn’t so hmmm, not sure if you’re biased or showtime is misrepresenting (maybe a lil of both)? I actually like Sajdah as well even tho you hit the nail on the head regarding the diversity issue and Illene tryin to kill all birds w/ one stone, still she’s funny. Whitney just looks dirty…I don’t get the hype AT ALL. Sara and Romi yes, totally in it for the fame, it’s whateva tho, aren’t all reality show participants in some way?? C’mon. TRLW is like the Jersey Shore for Lesbians, sooo wrong but ya can’t stop watching. I look forward to all the recaps! MUUUAH! ;)

  78. Romi was such a horny hound last season and now she’s doing the old married couple act to Kelsey? I don’t like this. Kelsey is adorable!

    I personally think Kesley and Chanel are the hottest things on this show. Like seriously. Forreals.

    I also hate that we are forced to pronounce Sara’s name like that. I get that that’s the pronunciation she was born with, but it actually irks me to no end whenever Whitney says her name. It just makes her sound like a Goddess. The light of Whit’s world who refuses to be called Sarah. I hate it. I do.

  79. This is my first exposure to TRLW and Whitney is actually a total doppelganger for my old philosophy teacher, only with dreads. And, you know, slightly more wacky. Slightly.

    Alyssa: It closed?

    Whitney: Like a glove.

  80. okay, so I don’t have showtime and this is the first recap I’ve read because IFC sucks. But wait. do they shows these girls having sex? like, in real life?! this is….so incredibly disturbing and unbelievably exploitative. I mean, is this what it is?

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