The Comment Awards Are Topping in the Woods


Hi, friends! Some personal news: after literal weeks of smoky, gray-brown skies, I can actually see a little hint of blue out there today. Maybe soon, we’ll see the stars again! A queer girl can dream!

This week, Baopu #49 reminded us that there’s a little love to be found every day.

CUTE! CHILDHOOD! PICTURES! OF THE TEAM! Oh, and the ways they misbehaved when they were little. It’s the Monday Roundtable!

Erin made a romcom trailer out of Carol, and 10/10 I would watch that movie.

The Cameron Post movie is finally here! It was made by queer women! Heather reviewed it! These are all such good things!

I loved this so much: 13 Ways to Be a Good Woman, According to the Bible.

Ruby Rose will play Batwoman on the CW, and you all have some thoughts about it.

Because she knows exactly what we need, Sally’s back with another installment of famous lesbians throughout history, and their DOGS.

And then there were your comments!

On I Made You the Romcom Trailer Cut of “Carol” No One’s Been Waiting for:

The Dirty Laundry Award to Heather Hogan:

I don’t like to disagree with you, and so publicly — but Erin, you’re wrong: I’ve been waiting for this MY WHOLE LIFE.

And the Fresh Twisted Award to Sam:

my wife and i frequently debate whether or not you’re a twisted genius, erin, i just want you to know that. we talk about you on sunday mornings while our houseplants wither and our dogs beg for as much attention as autostraddle gets.

On For Your Consideration: Openly Scrolling Through Someone’s Entire Instagram Feed:

The Chamillionesbian Award to JMOG:

They see me scrollin… They hatin… Patrolling.. They tryna catch me being flirty…

On Tops, Bottoms, Switches: One Last Look at All The Survey Data:

The Natural Toppings Award to Dani Z:

If you made an “all the tops are in the woods

And the Planet Earth Award to Chandra:

So tops are elusive and live in the trees, like lesbian Sasquatch

On No Filter: Amandla Stenberg and King Princess Arm Wrestle for the Throne:

The Hashtag Blessed Award to Cleo:

You’ve out done yourself Stef! This column truly has something for everyone. Arm wrestling. Wonder Woman floating on a donut. Ellen Page with 4 legs. Goth girls. Floral dresses. Blazers. An angel singing in a car. We are truly blessed.

On Pop Culture Fix: My Friends, Lesbian Ruby Rose Is Your Lesbian Batwoman and Other Stories:

The Careful What You Wish For Award to Donna M:

Damn it. I shouldn’t have used a monkey’s paw to wish for Batwoman to be played by a queer actor.

On Oh, Hey! It’s Alyssa #53: Accommodations:

The Great Works Award to Lex:

BRB imagining that guy being repeatedly wacked over the head with Frida Kahlo’s leg.

And on 13 Ways to Be a Good Woman, According to the Bible:

The Prophesy Girl Award to Jeanna:

What would happen, two women of God alone out in the world? Something scary? Something good?“ So much of this destroyed me, but this. Especially this. I hope you know that this is the kind of work that will help someone who is just coming out of that kind of evangelicalism, who is feeling so very alone, who feels like they’re the only one who ever felt that way. And it helps those of us who were once there know that we weren’t alone, either. We were/are many. And you were right, you know — that dream was prophetic, in a way. You’ve become the teacher of younger women and queers you always knew you’d be.

See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!

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Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.


  1. OMG. It’s my favorite post of the week and I GOT AN AWARD!!!!

    Thank you QG!

    Happy Dance.

    ? ? ?? ? ?

  2. Chamillionesbian Award to JMOG
    Absolutely brilliant and magisterial, both the comment and the award name

  3. I wish we could have a continual comment award title award for every time you make a Buffy reference.

  4. Excellent work this week all!!

    Also now I’m wondering how many queer women are going to be scanning treetops as they walk.

        • Oh you two, leaf it alone or we’ll have to branch out. Two puns apiece is our limit; tree is not allowed.

          What is the root of our problem? Does Lesbian Sasquatch have junk in her trunk? Are some of these just too forest?

  5. Solidarity with the other New York poor decision making queers who read “the woods” as “The Woods” and started tasting phantom tequila

    (plz don’t top there the bathroom line’s long enough)

  6. I would like to thank everyone who ever picked on my special ed ass in school, some choice teachers, but most of all N.O. Parking Enforcement officers for repeatedly ignoring my mother’s handicap tag causing her to miss time with her grandchild on the last day of his visit to go contest the ticket this week and the Office itself for not training its people properly, and of course Alyssa for this award.

    It makes me fucking furious that a system is stacked to take away more of someone’s mobility if they don’t have the time or resources to go thru a multi step process where everyone oh so politely encourages you to accept a strike against yourself that could led up to having your car impounded.

    Because heaven forbid we train someone in public service to serve the public.

    • Ok ugh fuck everyone except Straddlers cause I love you all

      But not that parking enforcement person, nooooo

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