Team Pick: Ten Year-Old Camper Tells You How to be Cool

Kristen’s Team Pick:

Okay kids! It’s 33 days until A-camp! That’s two more PLL episodes, four more hilarious TRLW recaps and nineteen more opportunities to help us out! How many shades of excited are you? I’m just one, green, because I’m not going this time around. But don’t worry, that week I’ll sleep in a make-shift blanket tent and eat my body weight in s’mores in solidarity.

No matter where you’re going, whether it’s A-Camp, Space Camp or Girls Rock Camp, there is that unsure First Time. There are so many little things to think about. Did you remember to pack your toothbrush? Who’s going to take care of your pets/plants? Do you have enough undies? What will you do for the talent show? 

Of course, the biggest concerns revolve around getting along with your fellow campers. Everyone’s so cool and cute and interesting. You want everyone to be your bestie but how do you make them feel the same way?

I imagine this is how he drafted his advice, hence the need for a typed copy via Teach Often.

Luckily a ten year old boy typed up some sound advice on just that topic and Jezebel managed to get their hands on it. His words of wisdom?

Smart isn’t dorky.
Asking a girl out isn’t a yes or no question (If they say maybe, say never mind)
Don’t play Hard to Get
No talking about TV shows in case the person you’re talking to finds the show boring
Must know how to dance
No looking at other girls while with your girlfriend

He warns you about six questions you should always avoid, so head on over to Jezebel to take notes. Although you could read this as the musings of a child sized pick up artist, I’ll take it as honest-to-goodness How to Talk to Cute Girls in a Bunkbed-Type Situation advice. Seriously, this kid is wise. Especially the dancing bit. So in preparation for A-Camp, practice your moves, double-check your toiletry kit and remember that smart isn’t dorky.

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Hailing from Vancouver, Kristen's still trying to figure out how to survive Montreal's Real Legitimate Canadian Winter. So far she's discovered that warm socks, giant toques and Tabby kittens all play a role in her survival. Her ultimate goal is to rank higher than KStew in the "Kristen + Autostraddle" Google Search competition.

Kristen has written 139 articles for us.


  1. I’m sad you’re not going. :( I wanted to not talk about TV shows with you in case you found my favorite TV shows boring!

  2. I would love to be surrounded by cute girls in the wilderness!! That sounds like a creation of my own wild imagination, or a reincarnation of Candy Land…

    • Me too! And rad. I still use ’em regularly. Perhaps that makes me uncool at camp. But smart isn’t dorky, so maybe I’ll be okay.

      I worked at summer camp for 6 years and I did okay, so… =)

  3. Truth: asking a girl out is a yes or no question. If they say maybe, say never mind.

    Smart kid.

  4. I might have to print this out and study it on the plane.
    Must dance! I’m glad he included that one. It’s a priority.

    • I know right? I’m going to make friends with the people who dance (cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance then they’re no friends of mine).

      But seriously, this should be a priority. I always see too many queers standing along the wall drinking as much as they possibly can instead of getting out on the floor and dancing like no one is watching. (they are watching, but they don’t care).

      • Don’t get me wrong, I love myself some cocktails or wine or cider. . . but I am totally attracted to people who dance, regardless of skill. It’s the fact that they are dancing that matters.

      • What cabin are you in? I’m a Little Rascal. (That name makes me wonder if they grouped all the under-21s together. In which case, you bitches are saved cause I’m bringing canadian booze)

        • Ha! That is seriously one of the best compliments I’ve had all year. Thank you, but I am most definately not under 21. I am starting to worry that I’m going to be some kind of cougar at camp. I am an Avenger!

    • I think it depends on who you are talking to. I call my nephew dude all the time. I however, do not like to be called dude because all I can think is that someone is equating me to their ten year old nephew. It’s no biggie though.

  5. Four more TRLW episodes? Holy Christ I thought it was a 6 part season. My heart goes out to you, Riese

  6. “Don’t trust the other kids in your cabin until after at least a week”

    what if the other kids are unicorns?! what then?

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