Spend the Holigays With Your (Queer) Family: Host an Autostraddle Meet-Up This Season!

Y’all! It’s the holigay season all over again! I’m overjoyed, delighted, and other synonyms for “blissed out” because of this, and as you read this am probably listening to my Bing Crosby holiday records and lighting a sugar cookie candle. This is my favorite time of year, and not only because I love gifts and also hot apple cider. It’s also because I know that the holigay season means holigay meet-ups, and that holigay meet-ups can only mean one thing: previously unprecedented levels of jolliness and inner warmth.

The mainstream holiday messages we’re bombarded with this time of year are always centered around the traditional notion of family. This year, let’s make the season gayer than ever by spending it with our chosen queer families — our partners, our gal pals, and our fellow ‘straddlers — at meet-ups all over the world!


We’ve spent the last two winters rockin’ around the Christmakwanzakah tree together, and it’s been a blast. And all it takes to keep this storied holigay tradition strong are readers like you — yes, you! — brave enough to open their hearts and potentially homes to other members of this amazing community by hosting holigay meet-ups through the new year.

Hosting a holigay meet-up is more fun than baking a batch of sugar cookies shaped like snow people, and it’s definitely easier than humming any part of The Nutcracker in tune. Your meet-up can take any shape or size and will still make everyone’s heart grow three sizes: You could make breakfast / brunch / lunch / dinner reservations at a local spot for you and ten other weirdos from this website to keep the festivities simple, invite your fellow queers into your humble abode for a night of holigay crafting, or even check out a tree lighting or a holiday festival with a crowd of ‘straddlers. Heck, you could even go the extra mile and volunteer together at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving or keep it classic and grab drinks during happy hour.

Once you’ve decided on an activity and a time to do it, figure out a way for folks to RSVP (Intern Nikki made you a pretty Facebook event banner that will fit just right, but feel free to utilize other sites or create a hanky code for your event instead!) and submit your event details to us via this link right here. We’ll post all the events and push them out on social media and in our link round-ups, so you can be sure nobody will miss out on the fun.

If you’re looking for inspiration, you should get lost in our holigay archivesfollow our holigay board on Pinterest, and / or keep your eyes peeled for awesome holigay content comin’ your way via this very website all season long. We’ve got you covered for everything from food and drink ideas to picking out your meet-up outfit, I promise.

If you’re not hosting a meet-up, you can still get in on the action! All the events submitted in the next few months with a distinct holigay theme will be posted under the “holigay meet-up” tag, and all of the events submitted over the next few months, period, will be archived right here. You can follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and get hooked on our Tumblr and Insta to keep tabs on the holigay happenings, too.

In the meantime, be sure to post away on social media with your most festive face on using the #HappyHoligays tag! We’re already excited here at Autostraddle HQ (which doesn’t exist IRL, but lives on in our hearts) to see you catching snowflakes, making gingerbread houses, and spinning dreidels.

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Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.


  1. This post! I have officially been lured out of lurkerdom.

    I work in Canary Wharf, London and very often feel that my world is entirely populated by straightwhitehetmen. They all appear to be called Steve, has anyone else noticed this? Weird. Anyway, are there any other gays in E14 or is my paranoia correct and I really am the only gay in the City?

    If you are out there…. Holla at me dude, because this shit is fucking lonely sometimes and I would so love to meet you for a drink.

  2. Last year on XXXmas eve I hosted a tater tot/amateur drag show/Hansom dance party and it was just the most amazing. Get ready Minneapolis ’cause it’s year two now!

  3. Yessss!!!

    If anyone lives in/around Green Bay Wisconsin lets do something pleeeaaseee!! I’ll be living with my parents by then and will definitely need some queer events in my life!!

  4. So if I organized something for Portland, Maine…?!? I’m looking to hold a discussion on where we should meet up, because if left up to me the place will be Flatbreads.

    • I think i can speak for autostraddlers of new hampshire & say that we would be very into coming to portland me! but we will probably do a thing too :)

  5. Hoping for some events in NYC and/or Westchester! Any Westchester queers, let’s get to know each other!

  6. On this holiday season, I will most likely be alone in Melbourne, since I’m moving next month and know literally no one there. If anyone’s interested, I’d really be glad to share that time with fellow straddlers. Don’t hesitate to PM me.

    • Delurking to say—I recently moved to Melbourne too! I’m actually travelling a bit around the end of December, but I’ll be back 28 Dec and would love to hang out anytime this summer. I definitely need more queer friends in the city. :)

      • Australian friends! I am in Newcastle but would travel for a Sydney meet-up absolutely. Actually i could even be very tempted for a Melbourne one…

        • OMG Newcastle?? I’m in Newcastle, I could totally put together something small here if you’re up for it.

        • That’d be great! Don’t hesitate to contact me if you on going to Melbourne. I’d add you, but you don’t seem to be connected/have an account.

    • hey so I’m also in Melbourne – I moved back this year. I’ve got a few things on out of Melbs plus I work shiftwork, but I’m really keen to meet more local queer people!!

    • I think I’m going to set up to host a potluck at my place in Queen Anne the day before Thanksgiving if you’d be interested in that. I’ll submit the details here once I get it all straight, but I just posted in the Seattle Autostraddlers Facebook group if you’re a member of that.

      • Oh man, I’m so down for this! I too live on Queen Anne! I submitted a request to the Facebook group but it hasn’t gotten approved yet. :C

    • Tacoma here! I work the day before Thanksgiving, but I would be interesting in attending (maybe hosting?) something in December. Maybe a cookie-and-board-game meet up or something.

  7. Madison, WI represent! I’d love for Madison to do something. I can organize something for sometime around Thanksgiving, or someone else can do another time!

    • I won’t be in Wisconsin until the middle of December, but if anything does end up happening let me know!!! I would be so willing to make the drive for this!

    • My partner and I live in Miami! Let’s plan something

      I literally only know one other queer woman here though so you’ll have to be the one sending out invites lol

      • I am such a piece of forgetfulness I can’t believe I just saw this right now. I just assumed nobody would answer. Weelllll either way I would still be down for a meet-up! I have a very small place but we can find another location.

    • Anything south of west palm and i’m downnn
      And I know quite a few gay girls in the area

      Lets make this happen

  8. Anyone from Houston to Lake Charles, I suck at organizing things, but I’m up for coming to y’all’s parties and bringing foods.

    • P.S. I didn’t mean “speak to me” as in “I have planned an event,” just as in “leave a comment and maybe we will figure something out.”

      • I am not going home for the holidays this year so I am definitely down to host people at my place. Its pretty small so I can maybe fit liek 10 max. I live in Oakland

      • I’d like to try a group hot pot outing. A good pot would be $80 minimum, but that would be total, and split between up to 6 people with enough to take home leftovers. (~$14 per head) And then more than 6, and we’d just have more pots across the group.

    • Glasgow based lurker here. Would totally be down for something. Going to be down in England for the week of Christmas but other than that I’m keen.

      • @skrischer @littleredtarot Excellent! :D I’m probably going home for Christmas around mid-December anyway, so that’s fine by me!
        Admittedly, I’ve only lived here since September, so any ideas of things people wanna do are welcome. :P (I just know we can’t meet at mine, as I only live in a studio flat!)
        But I’m excited other people want to meet up!

    • Hi there Sophie, short answer is YES! My friend (also) Sophie and I just last night but the bullet and set up an event (we’re waiting for proper Autostraddle approval but we have a Facebook group and event here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1666112386977803/ ) because we thought it was a travesty that Edinburgh didn’t have an Autostraddle group (Glasgow have one!!). As I say we’ve never done this before, but we’re super excited and it would be great to see you along!

  9. Also- the chances are pretty slim, but if there are any American queers in Budapest and want to get together for thanksgiving, hit me up! :)

    • I don’t live in Budapest anymore but there’s a large, very international queer community there. I suppose it’s a bit hard to get in if you don’t already have a group of friends/acquaintances in the city but you should find some expat groups on fb (there’s a bunch) and post about organizing a holidays get together for international queers there, I’m sure other people will be interested.


    Here’s the fb group where we post about meetups and stuffs: https://www.facebook.com/groups/372919629458135/

    Coming up is Ice Skating (with Dalston Superstore DJs) at Somerset House on 10th December.

    I’m also hosting a queer-stmas movie night at mine (did you know there are NO lesbian xmas films?) but space is limited so I only have about 2/3 spots left.

  11. My apartment isn’t set up for entertaining (and I wouldn’t subject you guys to my roommate), but I’ll be remaining in the Boulder/Denver area this holiday season and even if no real event happens I wouldn’t be averse to actually meeting some Boulder/Denver Straddlers.

    • I’m in the Springs but could make it up to Denver for something. Would love to host but I live with my parents.

    • Whoops I commented below before seeing this — I’m new to Denver, and I’d love to do a meetup! I don’t have a car though, so that somewhat limits meetup options.

  12. The Indianapolis group has a Friendsgiving event already scheduled & there will be a December-holiday-something or other coming soon!

    • I always see cool looking stuff for Indianapolis under the events! It makes me kinda wish I still lived in Indianapolis!

  13. ORLANDO! I’d definitely be willing to host a queer-mas/Yule/Winter Solstice meetup we can even have a fire if it’s below ninety-effing-degrees!

  14. Columbus, OH anyone?
    I would totally host something low key like cookies and crafting (and wine) – takers?

  15. Long time lurker, first time poster. Anyone looking for a meet-up in North Carolina? Because one definitely needs to happen

  16. Any Straddlers hanging out around the holidays in the Washington, DC area? If you are do let me know so I can RSVP. :)

  17. Recently moved to Chicago for my girl to go to school… I work from home and don’t know where to meet queer friends! I’m not good at playing hostess but am happy to bring food and booze. :)

  18. Brooklyn? There’s a bar/restaurant near my house with good food, good drinks, and a gigantic living-room style setup with pool table.

  19. Denver queers what’s up! I’m new to the area & I want to meet some folks (and maybe go to one of those cute holiday craft fairs???) (or go to something at Blush & Blu ??) Hit me up!

  20. I’m (hopefully) going to try to coordinate something for Michigan (or at minimum, southeast MI – surely Ann Arbor has at least one queer lady who’d like a sense of community). Fingers crossed.

  21. I recently moved to Lancaster, PA and I don’t have any family here. I would hate to spend thanksgiving by myself. So if there’s any queers around here that would like to do something let me know.

  22. Cincinnati, you already know!! If anyone’s gonna be around us for the holidays and wants to join in on our festivities or just meet up to escape your family for a while or whatever, hit me up! :)

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