Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The BJ Dildo

The BJ Dildo, sent to us by Good Vibrations, is a hollow dildo explicitly designed for queer blow jobs. It’s handmade from platinum silicone with a soft powder finish; comes in three flesh tones as well as turquoise and flat black; and costs $80. It’s meant to be great for gender play, and great for anyone who wants their strap-on cock sucked.

The BJ Dildo; image from creator FormFunction

It kinda blows.

Obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or something, and good sex is a continuum and a journey and a shared physical and psychological experience that changes according to the day, the mood, the people, the weather, the temperature, the lube, whether or not you remembered to charge the vibrators and a million other factors. I don’t think anyone is “good” or “bad” at sex, just maybe good or bad having sex with the people in front of them.

That said. I have given some strap-on blow jobs. I love them. I’m enthusiastic about them. I’m great at them. And sucking the BJ Dildo was uniquely unsatisfying. With a 1.75 diameter at the widest point, it was too big to fit easily in my mouth. I don’t especially enjoy things that fit easily in my mouth, so with a solid strap-on size is a fun challenge. A solid strap-on also doesn’t collapse in on itself. I couldn’t choke on it in any of the right ways, because it started to fold over. It happened when I tried to give a more performative blowjob. It happened in straight face-fucking without trying to suck on the tip or really do anything but keep my mouth open and maintain just enough eye contact. It especially happened when I instinctively tried to grip the shaft to press it harder against the wearer, something that’s fun to do in solid strap-on blow jobs when there’s a base available to press.

The design of the dildo — hollow, funnel-like as it meets a base that flattens out, and a slit in the tip to suck on — is also perplexing. I could sort of nibble and suck on the tip, but when more of the dildo was down my throat it was hard to feel where the suction was supposed to come from. (Also, because the dildo is hollow with a direct line between mouth and genitals, make sure you and your partner are on the same page about safer sex, STI testing and sexual health.)

My co-tester and I tried it both with and without a harness. With a harness — specifically a brief-style SpareParts Tomboi — the fabric that slips over the base of a regular dildo also slipped over the base of the BJ Dildo, which meant it never really had an opportunity to lay flush on the wearer, even with adjustments. The suction was weak, the sensation unremarkable. And the problem of the dildo collapsing in on itself was far, far worse during our brief attempts at vaginal penetration.

Used without a harness, the base created the opposite problem — though it wasn’t malleable enough to mold to the wearer’s body, the direct suction sensation over the wearer’s clit was far too intense for them. Suction toys are in right now; the Womanizer, the Satisfyer, the Sona and others all slip over a clit and suck, vibrate, or use sonic waves. If you’re into those toys, or just really like your clit getting sucked, the way the BJ Dildo feels might be for you.

In its current for, the BJ Dildo is great if you want intense suction or the idea and aesthetic of a strap-on blow job more than the reality. Personally, I absolutely wanted to love the BJ Dildo, and even though I didn’t, I can’t quite bring myself to give it away either. I would love to see a version of it that’s a little more stable and substantial.


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12 Comments

    • “Such a good boi” “Doing such a good job” with some cooing would be an awaited endearment for some.

      Cause everyone not everyone is into degradation kink with their fellation in case you were not aware sex acts don’t come in just one flavour per act.

    • Yo, DeeJ Jay this comment is super transphobic and shaming. Some queer women have dicks. Some queer women don’t. Some queer women sleep with people who like blow jobs. Some queer women like giving blow jobs. Some queer women like being face fucked. It can be loving and sweet or dirty and raunchy or part of a BDSM power relationship or literally anything else. Like, what is the point in policing other queer women’s sexualities? Our society is already built on policing women and queer people’s bodies and sexual desires. If a queer woman wants to give a blow job–whether to their partner wearing a dildo or to their partner with a dick–leave her in peace???

    • So..I’m a queer woman who’s partner just came out as a transman, and this response is an example of some of the stuff I worry about from other queer folks.

      I don’t know if my partner and I would enjoy this—but we might and it doesn’t make me (or him for that matter) any less queer if we do.

    • I didn’t get a chance to read your comment, but based on the responses, I think I can safely assume that it was garbage. Thank you, Autostraddle, for being the one place on the internet where I don’t have to worry about the comments section ruining my day.

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