Espada means sword. Sword means dildo. This video is about wanting to be dildoed. Dildoed is a verb now.

Was this the worst decade ever? Does facebook turn us into 6th graders? Does the word “emo” police male sensitivity? Also; one in 8 Americans are on food stamps, nerd-tivity scenes, Sasha Grey is more than just a porn star, veteran trans sportswriter dies in suspected suicide, Episcopal churches in MA can marry the gays now and Bart Simpson’s best chalkboard gags.

“I was angry. Really fucking angry. Angry because Jenny Schecter was right.”

Let’s face it, that’s all that we care about.

Alice Walker and Tracy Chapman dated and nothing else even matters. Also unlikeable protagonists, books to treat depression, books to treat your lesbian break-up and more.

Turns out that when you create the first ever show with a cast of almost all queer women, and do it on a cable channel that allows multiple scenes of what just barely misses qualifying as porn in every episode, we gays get resourceful.

THE NAKED TIME when Sulu chases men with his sword. And Kirk and Spock slap each other over love. It’s ALL canon, people.

If your pantry pal looks as frozen as you this winter, give it a new life!

A show about “celebrities” with “relationship problems” being solved by a “professional” team of therapists. Quotation marks intentional.

It was wacky! It was depressing! It’s finally over! From “undocumented” to “transphobia” to “affluenza,” come look at the words that defined a year and defined themselves at the same time. (“Selfie” is nowhere on this list, I promise.)

Because this is the way that we live…again.

Romi Klinger’s getting divorced, Dot-Marie got married, trans* voices are getting published, and we’re celebrating the holidays in a special space where it’s just you, Ari Fitz, and the rest of the Internet.

“For some reason this movie really wants us to know that sometimes Britney and Jamie Lynn have wrestling matches and Jamie Lynn always wins.  Picture that for a minute.  Now move on.”

Autostraddle’s television writers on their favorite lezalicious, bisexual, queer and trans* ladies on the 2013 teevee!

I don’t have any frankincense to gift this season, but I do have a shitton of cinnamon.

“This would be a great time to merge an app review with how adorable everyone is with their perfect humans because everyone who works here is a total critter.”

Melissa Laveaux was kind enough to drop by “Almost Famous” to tell us about Paris, her dark inspirations for songwriting and her insanely adorable guinea pig, Mister Gaga.

“I’m going to talk to you about my favorite things of the moment: looking terrifying (but also festive! Holiday appropriate!) and suits. Also: short hair. I feel like we all may have these things in common, maybe?”

“No one can deny the intense ’90s danceability of the Mortal Kombat theme. I even poorly choreographed a half-time dance routine for the cheerleading squad I was briefly a part of before being unceremoniously removed after punching a fellow cheerleader.”

Question: Tell me what you think about, B? You buy your own diamonds and you buy your own rings?