Prom is Better Cancelled Than Ruined by Tuxedo-Wearing Lesbians

PROM: Remember last week when we told you about this years gay prom debacle? Now the school has cancelled the dance altogether instead of having to deal with the wrath of the ACLU. (@associated press)

From The USA Today:

Constance McMillan, an 18-year-old senior at Itawamba, recently challenged a school policy prohibiting her from bringing her girlfriend as her date to the April 2 prom. McMillen, who is a lesbian, and the Mississippi chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union urged school officials to reverse the policy both on McMillan’s choice of date and attire. She also wanted to wear a tuxedo to the dance.

Understandably, the cancellation has alerted McMillen, because now everyone is going to be mad at her. Luckily she’s a lesbian so basically it will be twice as bad:

“Oh, my God. That’s really messed up because the message they are sending is that if they have to let gay people go to prom that they are not going to have one,” she said. “A bunch of kids at school are really going to hate me for this.”

School officials told McMillen last month that she could not bring her sophomore girlfriend to the prom and also told her she could not wear a tuxedo. The school then circulated a memo that prohibited same-sex dates.

AUTOSTRADDLE WANTS YOU: Did you take a same-sex date to your prom / winter formal / other fancy high school event? Well we’re running a contest and starting a photo gallery full of your adorable gay faces! We’re dead f*cking serious about visibility and changing the game. Get the details here and send in your photos ASAP!

We put this up on our tumblr yesterday and we bet it’s already going viral but if you haven’t seen it YOU MUST.

The Annual Equality Riders Are On The Road Again You should probably check out their route to see if they’re coming to a city near you so that you can feed them and hug them. And if you haven’t seen it yet, head on over to Logo and watch their documentary, Equality U, because I did and it made me cry.

Endangered Species: The New York Coffee Shop – “In my view, a city is defined by its coffee shops. As Madison Moore explored last week, coffee shops are meeting places to ogle and be seen, work and eavesdrop. They make the city less lonely. New York has always, in my mind, been associated with coffee shops… A generation of people has grown up with television shows and films romanticizing this experience—for me Woody Allen films, Felicity, Sex and the City and even Friends all played a part in creating this New York imagery.” (@racialicious) Also, a commenter at racialicious points out that the NY Times did a story today about um, burgeoning coffee culture. (@nytimes)

You heard about the kid kicked out of school for having lesbian parents. But you’ll never guess who’s “sticking up” for us. (@mediaite)

A New Set of Studies Look at Why Certain Kids Are Bullied So guys, the first part of the article is wholly disheartening, but there’re a couple of good bits at the end, so make sure you get to them. – “maybe being socially isolated also allows kids to focus on their talents and build up their inner worlds, making them more reflective or creative. And maybe being the butt of jokes as a child lends someone more empathy for the downtrodden later in life.” However there’s also the problem that one out of every two lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youths are regular victims of cyberbullying. (@jezebel)

Glenn Beck has his best show ever interviewing recently resigned politician Eric Massa and then apologizes for wasting an hour of his audience’s time, which is funny, b/c basically Massa disagreed with him. That’s all. Haha Glenn Beck. Jon Stewart has more. (@comedycentral)

CENSUS 2010:
Are you excited for the census? I know I am; they pay $18.00 an hour and you get to go talk to strangers which is actually my idea of fun. But let’s talk about being queer and the census. The Williams Institute has some great FAQ sheets and maps that answer your questions and show where we’re living. (@williamsinstitute)

For those of you on or near Autostraddle Design Director Alex’s home base of Long Island, New York:

Got plans this Saturday, March 13th? Now you do!

Come to the PRIDE FOR YOUTH FUNDRAISER party where you can witness (or participate in) a Lady Gaga look-alike contest and dance while raising money for a good cause.

There will also be an open mic session before the DJ/dancing commences, as well as prices, snack, and give-aways throughout the night. Alex is going to support the cause and if you’re in the area you should too!

$10 at the door (21+) // Starts at 8pm at Kelli’s Bar and Grille

All proceeds benefit Pride for Youth (the first support and outreach program to exist for LGBT youth and their families on Long Island) and the Long Island Pride Chorus.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Laura is a tiny girl who wishes she were a superhero. She likes talking to her grandma on the phone and making things with her hands. Strengths include an impressive knowledge of Harry Potter, the ability to apply sociology to everything under the sun, and a knack for haggling for groceries in Spanish. Weaknesses: Chick-fil-a, her triceps, girls in glasses, and the subjunctive mood. Follow the vagabond adventures of Laura and her bike on twitter [@laurrrrita].

Laura has written 308 articles for us.


  1. FINALLY! The Mississippi school board totally made the right decision!!! It’s about time we start standing up and making decisions that are actually the RIGHT ones.

  2. ah! this relates to two of the stories!
    I think bullied kids are more reflective and creative- whether that’s a cause or an effect isn’t totally clear.
    I went to a school choice school- a high school populated mostly of kids who were (often brutally) bullied in middle school. A few years before I went there, our only sport was chess, and people referred to us as “the goth school”. Our curriculum was all about thinking differently and finding creative solutions and we were really fucking good at it. We ended up being in the top 100 schools in the country. The school is totally different now but it doesn’t matter to the connecting point here:
    No one cared. As far as I know, there were no parental complaints. There were no bitter boys, everyone was happy. Bringing outcasts together brought a lot of gay per capita, and I can’t remember one hate crime from my four years there.
    I wish everyone could love highschool as much as I did.

  3. Jeepers, how spiteful to cancel the prom for everyone. Im disappointed, here was I thinking that America was this gay haven, apparently not! At my debs (prom) there was two gay couples and no one cared, sure you could do whatever you wanted so long as you paid for the ticket, and this is Ireland, the most Catholic country in the world! Actually would ever bigot in the world please just feck off and go back to the 1800’s where they belong, thanks!

  4. I can already see the prom at that school- I am sure it has chaperons prowling through couples with a ruler, separating them and yelling out “Leave room for Jesus!”

  5. My junior year of high school my best friend and I didn’t have dates, so we split a regular ticket. They made you give your name/your dates name when you purchased the ticket because they always did some sort of decorations with them. But people split tickets all the time, so I just explained she wasn’t my date (this was 1998 and no one was out in my class, and I still thought I was straight), but they still put her name in the boy column. When we got to prom the decor was some starry night theme and all the couples names were written in clouds on the wall. Including mine and my friends names. It was pretty hysterical. It feels like if that had happened now, someone would have had a fit and torn all the clouds down. It’s like things are going backwards.
    I took the (easy) census employment test and got 100% and basically a guarantee from two diff employees that when they start officially hiring/training in a few weeks, I’m in. They are *starting* people at $18.25 in my area. Since you work in your neighborhood and I’m the edge of Andersonville, I’m hoping to survey some queer households!

      • yay fellow wannabe census takers. i took it yesterday! if you need a job and are bilingual and know how to alphabetize, get your ass over to a census office and it’s yours for the taking.

        • I actually got a call and a job offer today. I’m going to be running (?) a call center for the first phase of the census (answering phone call questions from people who actually fill out the questionnaire.) Training is the end of next week. This gig is only ~5 weeks long and is only $14/hr, but I’ll take that to start…

  6. Well, I mean, of course they had to cancel prom. Can you imagine how much irreparable damage would happen to a bunch of 17- and 18-year-olds if they saw a woman wearing pants?? The horror and confusion it would cause!

    And my stars! The chaos that would happen over two women dancing together! Because good and proper straight women never do this, of course. Not ever. Not at weddings, not at home coming, not at formals, and certainly not at proms!

    No, no, no, this would be too much. If they let one non-traditional couple in to that prom, all the chilluns would become brainwashed, dump their dates immediate, and start two, distinct orgies: one of all men and one of all women. How can you not see this? This was clearly the only reasonable solution. Think of the children!

    • It’s clearly the first sign of the apocalypse! Next thing you know, they will give women the right to vote!

    • Life would be so much better if all women and girls wore bonnets and long dresses ala Little House on the Prairie. Oh, and if we all lived in compounds subjected to the whims of men! Oh to dream…(typed in sarcasm font, of course)

  7. I got bullied in middle school partly because I was the new kid from the north living in the south and partly because I did not enjoy dressing like a girl. The only thing it did for me was give me a chip on my shoulder for a while and put me in the library a lot where i discovered Robert Heinlein and Isaac Asimov.

    I never had a prom I don’t think i would have enjoyed it. That being said denying someone else to have one based on one person wearing a tux and being a girl and going with a girl is preposterous and stupid.

  8. I wish everyone could react to gay marriage the way lil’ man in the video did. Like, it blew his mind for half a second but then he was all that’s cool you love each other i’m gonna go play ping pong now. presh.

  9. The video of the little kid is adorable. The best part is when he says that is much alike. I guess there is hope in the younger generation.

  10. I spend a lot of time with kids – my own kids, my queer friends’ kids and kids from their school that don’t have queer parents – and let me tell you…they are awesome. Their world view is so much bigger and more accepting than mine ever was, so, take heart people!

  11. I am so troubled lately by all of these stories of discrimination that just seem so UNBELIEVABLE to me. I have to thank my lucky stars/God that I did not grow up in a place where these types of things are still the norm. Do these people think that if they don’t allow gay people to be in the community that they won’t be out/gay, or do they think that if they allow them out in the community that others will catch it? Either way, people will alwasy be gay, it will just either be easy or a struggle for them, and no one will just decide to be gay if they see it. I love those people that think if they don’t discuss something or don’t think about it, then it’s not real (I’m lookin at you, Mom!)

    UNFORTUNATELY Vikki, as you know, these wonderful and open-minded and loving kids have parents who are none of those things, and that is precisely where they will get it from. I guess with each generation it will be less and less, but it sucks that these kids can’t just tune out all the bad and just take in the good.

    • I think the open-minded will outnumber the close-minded. Eventually. Even if they don’t, I truly believe that my kids’ generation seems to be more outspoken than many that came before them. I could be wrong but I just have a feeling…

  12. I suppose Glen Beck probably did waste his viewers’ time since you could only stand to watch that show on a regular basis if you were just looking justify your paranoia and hatred and McCarthy-esque fears.

    But for the rest of America, YES. Anything that gets the rest of the country to stop and think about what an idiot Beck is a quality use of time. Even if it involves awkward stories about naked Rham Emanuel.

    Mississippi should worry more about having some of the lowest test scores in the country and less about whether their students wear dresses or tuxes for one night of the year.

  13. my prom (which was called “grad” in Canada) was in 2002 and not only did i go with my girlfriend, but I won prom king and my gay boy best friend won prom queen and our official prom king and queen dance was “I’m Too Sexy” (because the DJ didn’t have “when a man loves a woman,” which we’d requested). that was almost ten years ago now. my question is, how do they even know that this girl is planning to go with her girlfriend and what she’s wearing? do you have to go on record saying who your date is? what the hell. WHAT THE HELL, MISSISSIPPI.

  14. This school is such a douchebag full of bad vag juices, because no one likes it, just like no one likes bad vag STUPID SCHOOL. I heard you smell like fish.

    That video has gone viral, everyone I follow on tumblr has reblogged it and so have I. I am glad.

    Every time I see one of these events I think I’m going then I see the 21+ and go cry in a corner. There should be a list of events on here, is there?

  15. On teasing: My dad was teased HORRIFICALLY. Like, beaten up, people made him cry, whatever. Now he doesn’t give a fuck while most people his age are going through ridiculous mid-life crises, and he’s hilarious and brilliant, so there. I was also teased, but not nearly as badly, so the awesome is taking longer to set in.

    But most awesome people I know had a hellish time in school. Not like Tay Swift hellish, like people were actually mean.

    On gay prompocalypse ’10: Does anyone else feel like these guys are acting like four year olds? WE’LL TAKE OUR BALL AND GO HOME! Instead of letting the gay kids play. I’ve been to Mississippi before, and it was the site of one of most uncomfortable sitatuions in my life, so I basically think of it as one of the most backwards, racist places ever and that is also generalizing but I no longer care.

  16. did anyone else have “walk-out” at prom? where you have to have a boy walk you down the stairs and then stand awkwardly in front of all the parents to get your picture taken? it’s a horrible horrible tradition. i have one picture of my girlfriend and i from that night, and she looks pissed cuz my boy-date bought me a corsage even when I told him not to, dammit…

    also, when my mom was in high school they were just integrating schools and they wanted to have two separate proms or some ridiculous shit, so the students boycotted and got prom canceled by themselves. which is awesome and completely different from what the stupid mississippi school is doing.

  17. For some reason the video doesn’t work for me. It says that it’s a “private video” and that i have to accept the users friend request to view it? not sure what that’s about…when did youtube become facebook? does anyone know how to fix this problem for me! i’m reading all the comments and how cute it is! i need to see this!

  18. oh and where is this Bill O’Reily article? i was really interested in it when i read it in the description at the top….and then scrolled down and saw nothing. confusion!

  19. Just to say that the British press have picked up the story about the prom, and its on the BBC news website front page. Hopefully as attention escalates the school bastards will capitulate and apologise. I think someone should pull a Footloose type thing and give the kids a different and better prom to go to!


    Also–I would totally love to bring a girl to prom, but my school is a private school, associated with a church. And…you’ve got it–we can only come in “opposite sex” couples.
    Plus, my parents would flip a shit if I even mentioned bringing a girl.

    On a completely separate note: We’ve even tried to get a GSA started at my school. But they won’t allow us to have one for “unspecified reasons.”


    • I’m from MS too, and I haven’t even wanted to comment on this because it sucks. But thank you Autostraddle for running the story. I’m hoping the more coverage it gets, the harder it will be for the asshats to think they actually did the right thing. Newsflash Bible Belt! Being gay is not illegal. You can’t ban gay couples just because you think it’s wrong. UGGGGHHH.

  21. The local television station in Mississippi has a poll up that asks:

    Go to click YES!

    right now, only 26% have said yes and 74% have said no. Mess with Mississippi’s mind, y’all.

  22. haha yeah that was me!

    So the poll just changed… but when it ended it was 52% at YES! If that can have any impact on the ridiculousness in Mississippi right now, that would make my day.

    Great article, Laura!

  23. Hey my friend Stuart is an Equality Rider! And also an all-around awesome guy. :D :D :D

    He’s got a blog: His most recent post is a must-read.

    If you have any money to spare at all – even ten bucks – the Ride is currently underfunded and they totes need money. Go here: and pick your favorite story and support them! Because they are all awesome badass rockstars.

  24. i hope they end up organizing their own prom outside the school…that would be a great “fuck you” to the administration

  25. Pingback: Girls Dating Girls, Femmes in Tuxes, Cats and Dogs Living Together! | Spontaneous ∂erivation

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