Real L Word 103: A Long Episode’s Journey Into Valentine’s Day or “Bromance”

“I can’t believe what just happened — on AT LEAST a thousand teevees across America.”

This week’s episode of The Real L Word was about Valentine’s Day. Its running time slightly exceeded that of Valentine’s Day itself, the actual day. This episode was called “Bromance,” and it aired on the 4th of July, which is also a holiday, but differs in that it celebrates breaking up, not being in love. Unfortunately, given the choice, I’d prefer participating in the Revolutionary War to more of this show.

At the episode’s beginning, the girls agree that lesbians are better at Valentine’s Day than straight people (except Mikey, who surprisingly wins us over with the answer that she’s doing “fucking nothing, it was a ridiculous holiday invented by greeting card companies to make more money”) and then proceed to prove otherwise for the next 50 minutes/years.

The level of creative/generous editing employed on The Real L Word is so high that we’ve completely divorced our opinions of the women as they’re portrayed on this show from our opinions of who these women actually are. When every other sentence sounds chopped together from five different interviews, you realize it’s not impossible that everyone is just being edited into playing a character. I hope that’s clear. I mean I hope you know we aren’t talking about the humans, but the roles they’re being edited to play via This F*cking Show.

In preparation for Valentine’s Day in the The Real L Word’s Episode 103 ‘Bromance,’ we are subjected to the following fascinating scenes:

+ Jill going shopping for video cameras
+ Nikki waiting for her Mom to finish work so they can talk about wedding planning
+ Tracy listing the chores she accomplished that day to Stamie
+ Mikey saying “Raquel doesn’t make time for me” over and over on top of footage of Mikey hitting tennis balls
+ Rose calling to confirm an online reservation at a restaurant
+ Whitney listening to a straight male co-worker speak on the Blackberry even though we can’t hear it
+ Tracy & Stamie trying to put the kids to bed when the kids don’t want to go to bed (an experience which, while you’re having it, you wish would be over immediately).
+ Whitney watching videos on YouTube
+ Jill & Nikki, the happy couple, reading Valentine’s Day cards out loud to each other

That’s not all.


Terrible embarrassing things happened, too. Like Mikey asking Romi, who it’s possible she’s just met at the hair salon she’s taken her aunt to, if the girl Romi likes is cuter than Mikey and Romi laughing nervously and dancing politely around the question.

At Rose & Natalie’s Valentine’s Day Dinner, Nat’s gift of a “sexy” photo shoot inspires Rose to “accept [Natalie’s] breast reduction,” and we witness both women emphasizing the importance of this moment to their relationship. Let me repeat that: Rose & Natalie consider the following moment important – when photos of Natalie on top of a cotton ball cloud enable Rose to accept Natalie’s breast reduction surgery.

And then! And then! Whitney and Mikey fake-meet each other at a bar, and we don’t even care about the fake meeting because what happens next is so depressing and unfortunate that we can barely remember what our lives were like before we saw it. After gushing over how much they like each other while we feel sorry for Romi, Whitney chides a very drunk Mikey into accepting a “femme makeover,” and then nothing is not weird and/or terrible.

This makeover, initiated to resolve Whitney’s confusion about the pumps/pants situation, involves Mikey undressing in a public bar down to her bra and referring to herself in third person, while a mysterious gay man applies her lip gloss. Then Mikey gets so drunk that she actually starts crying and makes some drunky comments about Valentine’s Day and Raquel standing her up, right in front of Whitney & Romi. We agreed that if Mikey was our friend and she called on Monday, we’d pretend we hadn’t seen the episode. Hey, we’ve been that girl. Perhaps as recently as last week for some of us. But we get to decide how we tell you about it, which makes us lucky or not, or possibly smarter or more dull, depending on what you want and what you’re like.

Basically, if everyone in the cast is cool with how the show is, then we are too. It’s their choice, and every minute of our own lives is likely just as dumb and boring and embarrassing — I mean seriously there are some Autostraddle moments far more disgusting and dumb than anything on that show tonight — but here I think I’m supposed to evaluate this program as entertainment or education or a bit of both, and I can’t. Nat Garcia’s video with Tracy was cute though, wasn’t it.

This week, my favorite scene was Whitney and her friends talking about the trainer who may or may not be gay and may or may not be fair play for Whitney. It felt real, it was funny, I liked it, I even liked Whitney.

My favorite scene is a Whitney scene.

Also, Whitney & Romi had sex, much of it on-camera. I don’t even know how to feel about it because I was already a shell of myself by that point. What did you think?

Near the episode’s end, Rose says Valentine’s Day was the highlight of her relationship with Natalie, and really, seriously, REALLY PAPI REALLY? As Laneia said while we watched the ending, pre-bedtime rituals footage:

“Oh my God I don’t want anyone to see this show ever ever again, I want to die, I just want to DIE. She’s gonna get rose petals up her ass, they’re so fucking corny that even their pajamas are matching! Ughghh!

New rule! You are not allowed to let a camera follow you around unless your life is fucking interesting and you don’t embarrass everyone with your shit!”

So we’re going to go finish editing this piece by Gabrielle Rivera for tomorrow. It’s an essay. She made this short film we both liked much better than this show (and as you can see, we are very cranky, bitter, miserable old hags who can barely stand to exist, let alone watch other people exist on the television, and therefore we hate everything and that hate is a reflection of our soul’s darkness and therefore us liking something is a Big Deal).

They all seem like nice girls on this show. I bet Rose is fun to party with, and it actually is good to have that person in your life who knows how to show people a good time. I somehow sense that Nikki & Jill are both great listeners. Nikki seems like a strong, ambitious businesswoman, and Jill seems like a loyal, kind friend. I bet Whitney flirts skillfully and convinces even the best of us at times and knows how to charm somebody’s pants off. I’m sure Mikey is funny, like Mikey Scott on The Office. And Stamie is funny, and Tracy radiates positive energy and smiles even when she says not-smiley things, which makes everything seem smiley. They’re all really lovely people. I’m not sure why we must mangle them so and then call that “entertainment.” Visibility, I guess? “Visibility.” Being seen, it seems, should be enough, in and of itself. Well, it isn’t.

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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3198 articles for us.


  1. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.

    “what happens next is so depressing and unfortunate that we can barely remember what our lives were like before we saw it.”

    “and therefore we hate everything and that hate is a reflection of our soul’s darkness and therefore us liking something is a Big Deal.”


    Btw, I stopped watching this show two weeks ago and these recaps make me not regret that decision.

      • Those lines made me laugh out loud too! Also matching pajamas, that is nauseating. I haven’t seen this show and Riese’s recaps are so good I’ll be even less likely to attempt a viewing.

        The ad for this is plastered over the entrance to my subway and in the station itself. So corny it looks like a Hawaiian Tropic ad from ’89.

  2. I have a soft spot in my heart for things that suck. Sometimes there’s nothing like watching a really shitty movie. So in the past I’ve read recaps and been enticed by cringe worthiness.

    But having seen one episode, this just sounds so terrible that I don’t want to see it at all.

    but p.s. I FUCKING LOVED Spanish Girls are Beautiful.

  3. i love you, autostraddle. i appreciate all the trying that is happening w/r/t this show.

  4. i bet this show would be really hilarious if i just printed off 100,000 screencaps from it and pasted them to a wall 100 miles long and then ran up and down the wall looking at them.

    i just get that impression.

    • I feel like I totally get what you’re saying, but I’m too hung up on the idea of running to really get into it. Can we look at them from an elevator? You know, the kind with the glass walls like at Embassy Suites?

  5. also something makes me feel dirtier than almost everything except for “Married With Children” and canned mixed vegetables is when holiday specials air a) in the wrong season b) on the wrong holiday

  6. So so funny… great recap! I like the way you turn things out.

    I live in Switzerland and it’s not possible for us to get this show, yeah well I saw couple of vid on youtube so I know who those girls are…

    I’ll be back to read more of your recap, that’s for sure.

  7. Your last paragraph sums up pretty much everything I think about this heap of crap they call a television show.

  8. since my illness has me awake this late coughing and clearing my throat like DJ Kool, i’m glad this recap was here to read. i love the recaps, because they are 1) hilarious and 2) reaffirm my satisfaction in not having showtime at all, thus keeping me from watching the show in general.

  9. i actually considered watching this but then i saw that john adams was on so I watched that instead and concluded that the tar and feather scene seems less painful than this show.

  10. I don’t watch this show. I don’t even get the channel. Reading the recaps, however, I now strongly believe that Ilene Chaiken is one of the only people on earth who could make a handsome profit from the apocalypse, and has done so. Twice.

    • Seriously. What Showtime exec did Ilene Chaiken blow to get this tripe on the air, and why won’t she use these presumably impressive powers for good?

      • YES! this is what makes me so mad. ilene must have some serious powers of witchcraft to get a show like this on the air, which has absoulutely no premise whatsoever. and yet this is the best she came up with? really, papi?

  11. I really loved that last paragraph. I’m sure if I knew/was friends with any of the people on this show, I would want their best traits to be featured. However, they become obnoxious, edited caricatures of themselves for the sake of television. Visibility matters, but if this is how lesbians will be portrayed on the teevee, count me out.

  12. Jeeze. Ya know, the funny thing about The Real L Word is that unlike Chaiken’s previous series, we now have a show that I can watch at full volume in the living room while my mom is reading a David Sedaris book ten feet from me. Like wow. She likes The Real Housewives shows but even this is way boring for her.

  13. I love reading these recaps because it’s like the white version of the mad rapper. “Tell em why you mad, son!” You ladies/lady sound a bit, well actually, a lot bitter. My guess is that you are too young to remember that their was no lesbian presence on television at all. Then there was the FAKE L word. Emphasis on fake. Sorry ladies, Bette, is hetero in REAL life. These ladies on the Real L word are real lesbians that is something truly to be celebrated. So watch these episodes again and relax. Because think of it this way you ladies are a flag ship for all things lesbians and you are effecting their viewership and interest with this terrible reviews.

    • I am not too young to remember when there was no lesbian presence on television at all. i was 15 when Ellen came out, 23 when The L Word came out. I remember Roseanne, LA Law, all the lesbians on The Real World, Rosie, and all the bisexual sweeps episodes. Also my Mom is gay, so I have a perspective from her generation as well. I was born in 1981, I’m 28, I remember. And I don’t think that visibility for visibility’s sake is enough — I think that attitude is part of what enabled me to think there was nothing about lesbians I could be a part of or relate to, because until the first season of TLW, I’d really only seen lesbians come out and get rejected (ellen, rosie) or make terrible terrible terrible terrible movies and that lack of positive visibility did affect me a great deal.

      • I love you, Riese.

        also, quite a few of the cast members on the L Word are indeed real lesbians.

    • Why should we settle for real lesbians edited to within an inch of their respective lives?

      I’d be more inclined to let the Real L Word slide as entertainment if there was something else present to serve as an effective counterbalance. I don’t see why the show should be without criticism just because it’s the sole popular representation of our community (well a particular region specific aspect of it anyway.)

      • Wouldn’t really suck if these people were being themselves and they weren’t edited versions?

        • I think these ladies could be really watchable if they weren’t trying to edit in drama every 5 seconds. It’d make me sad though if sans hardcore editing not much changes.

          Really, what i want to watch is an observational study on the way “we live and love” called “Lesbians in the Wild”.
          I can see it now, the voice intro saying: “The WeHo lesbian is an interesting specimen…”

        • Over the weekend I met a gal who was on the crew for the Real L Word, and, thankfully, she reports that almost everyone is nicer and more interesting than their representations on this show. (Except, apparently, for Nikki, who is as much a boring alienface in real life as on the show.) It seems that terrible editing, terrible decisions by Chaiken and her team, and (at least in Mikey’s case) the compulsion to live up to some Asshole Reality TV Character cliche for the sake of seeming more “interesting” are to blame.

    • Is this the “be glad you’ve got anything at all” argument? Because it doesn’t work. Most of us here are not too young to remember days without lesbians on TV – my TV station actually banned “The Puppy Episode,” for what it’s worth, which was a secondary controversy – and even if we were, should’t we expect more, expect our representation to be one that doesn’t make us want to flush our heads down the toilet?

  14. So I absolutely love reading the recaps after staying up late and watching this train wreck of a show. While I agree the visibility is nice, I think its lacking in diversity and that is the truly scary part. This past week, while mildly inebriated I was talking to a friend and accidentally called the show “the real world”. Basically the whole Mikey incident made me cringe and giggle in the exact same way I do whenever the straight roommate (on any season) insults or comes onto the token gay roommate. Realistic l word is the funniest shit ever. while I don’t see the same things IFC sees in the community, she has the reality show recipe down to an art.

  15. Is this show actually doing well ratings wise? Is this their new runaway hit and will we be subjected to more of it in future?

    • the premiere got like 475,000 between its two airings (at 10 and 11). In comparison, L Word’s Season Six premiere got over a million (it’s highest ratings since the series premiere). But the production value of reality shows is so low that they might do it again just ’cause there’s lots of other branding opportunities for something that’s relatively cheap to produce?

      • Ok, but how fair is it to compare the premiere of the sixth season of an established show to a brand new show’s very first episode? I don’t think that’s a fair comparison to make. Do we know the premiere numbers for the very first ep of TLW? Even that’s not the same, cuz it had at least the draw of known actresses like Jennifer Beals.

        IC kind of backed herself into a corner with the name of the show. I understand the name recognition advantage, but people are practically forced to compare the shows in all ways because of the name, and they’re not the same.

        But you know what? No one thought TLW would last either. I want this to succeed so we can see TRLW Brooklyn! Wtf! A little support people.

        • As I said up there, TLW’s 6th season premiere got the show’s highest ratings SINCE the series premiere (aka the first season premiere) which got the series’ highest ratings of all time.

  16. While, granted, not bound for the Emmy’s, I think people are being way too hard on this show. It’s entertainment, like any other reality show. Did you get that? Like any other reality show. Manipulative editing and all. The “community” is way too hypersensitive. Any and all things gay have to meet some ridiculous nonexistent standard of perfection, illumination, education and enlightenment that satisfies every single member of the tribe.

    I like this show, and in particular, I would sex up Whitney anytime. Does that get me tossed from the tribe? We accept a “spectrum” in sexuality, but not in taste or opinions, apparently. People are way too serious and self-important about this.

    • Yeah I’ve never seen any of those other reality shows, ’cause I don’t like them. I’ve never seen The Hills or Real Housewives, I stopped watching Bravo when replaced West Wing & Actor’s Studio re-runs with endless reality programming. I actually don’t really even like television in general.

      I’m the writer writing about this show ’cause people specifically asked me to b/c I used to recap The L Word. But I think it’s clear I’m not a good fit — although to be fair, I’ve grilled everyone who has seen both TRLW and The Real Housewives and they all seem to agree that The Real Housewives is in some way better or more interesting.

      But there seems to be a critical consensus both within and outside of the gay community about the show — and some of these problems are obvious b/c it’s the first reality show where the characters don’t know each other, aren’t forced to interact in any way, and there’s no goal or competition. I know there’s a lot of hostility towards Ilene in WeHo and they weren’t able to film everywhere they wanted to, maybe that’s worth considering?

      Anyhow, it’s perfectly possible that I’m just not the right person to write about this show, based on my personal taste w/r/t tv.

      • “and some of these problems are obvious b/c it’s the first reality show where the characters don’t know each other, aren’t forced to interact in any way, and there’s no goal or competition.”

        Yes, I can see if there’s some formulaic issue, or the way the show is structured that is new and off putting or viewed as “huh? too different” as you suggest here. Too bad reviewers don’t try to find that kind of context to use rather than just disparaging the show and the people in it – though I do recognize you made the distinction in this review between the actual people and the edited versions meant to represent them.

        It’s not my intention at all to take issue with you per se, and in fact my initial post wasn’t written to anyone in particular, but to everyone, lol. Just sort of a generalized frustration.

        Ok, off to make a YouTube video of “Leave. Whitney. Alooone!” a la Chris Crocker.

        Totally kidding.

      • Well for what it’s worth I think your recaps are highly entertaining. I’ve never seen the Real L-Word but I read your recaps and I’ll be presumptuous enough to say I’ll stick to yours and skip the show.

        Oh and if you’ve never seen the Real Housewives not really much need to watch it just read Richard Lawson’s recaps on Gawker. He is amazing:

        • Personally, I think it’s kinda odd to form an opinion about something without checking it out for yourself. Critical thinking and all that.

          People dissing something they’ve never seen have no credibility.

          • Thanks for your input Blue. I saw several episodes last night and my intuition was dead on. Might want to brush up on reading comprehension no part of my post ‘dissed’ the show.

          • Hey, no prob outfar. My reading comprehension’s fine, and I stand by what I said. You were willing, as many here are, to settle for someone else’s take on something without having seen it. That’s a (presumptuous) diss. I also doubt you watched “several episodes” in one fell swoop, especially if you disliked it so. Why would you do that in one night? Just so you can come back here and say you did? Nah.

  17. So I’m ashamed to admit that I’m watching this but… did anyone else notice the scene where tracy and stamie are putting the kids to bed is the EXACT same scene as last week?? I knew the editing was bad but really IC?!

    • i did! b/c i had to interact with last week’s screencaps so frequently, i recognized the same outfits as last week and was like, UGH

    • i noticed too. initially, i thought that the show was truly making me go insane, but then realized that the scene really was edited right in.. again. ugh

  18. As I was watching this week’s episode (because I hate myself), I kept thinking, “Who does Whitney remind me of?” And then, after the 10th time that she repeated, “I have a problem with a new situation” (or some variation thereof), I realized that, indeed, Whitney is pretty much The Real L Word version of Jersey Shore’s Mike “The Situation.”

    And then I promptly gagged.

    • Me too! Due to my drifting attention span during this show I often only catch the ends of things, initially all I heard was “the situation,” and I thought Whitney was referring to herself as the Situation from JS. I didn’t know otherwise till the end of that scene.

      • I except that after the trainer (who I hate so, so much for body-checking Alyssa, one of the few shining beacons of light on this show) helps Whitney tone her abs, she will start lifting her shirt every chance she can get.

  19. Every time they talk about “how butch” someone on the show is, I want to K I L L something dead.

    Y’all are far nicer than I am, though I’ve had a few conversations with folks IRL who basically feel the same way the last paragraph of this recap captures. It gives me pause for a tiny kernel of a second, and then I remember that I don’t actually care.

  20. the show pretty much sucks, but i have to admit that i looooove tracy. so cute and.. normal. that is all.

  21. I don’t hate the show. I don’t love the show. I watch it just to watch it, because I am a teevee slave. Romi is FINE, and Whitney is obvs crazy to not want her on a regular basis.

    Also, I can’t stand the way Natalie and Rose kiss. WHO the F kisses like that? I’m talking about their little pecks when their lips barely touch, not their sexy time kissing. Their sexy time kissing is lovely.

    And I actually really like Nikki and Jill, even though at first I thought they were going to be annoying. They are super in love, and I think it’s adorable.

    Tracy and Stamie are super cute, I just feel for Tracy trying to adjust to all of that craziness.

    Anyway, those are my thoughts, had to put it out there. Oh, and I do enjoy the recaps, because usually they are funny, and Riese you are a talented writer for reals. Maybe just try to make fun of it without saying you hate it so much.

    • see someone else said something like that to me today on formspring or something… i think because I am clearly delusional, I felt like this recap had the same ratio of “making fun” to “hating” as the rest of my recaps, except that the ending was sad. but i guess i can see that it really wasn’t, obvs my list of chores we watched performed was not the LOL-fest it was in my head! But hey I think one commenter said it was funny, so i feel really good about that. i think you’re right though, it wasn’t. and thanks!

      so um, maybe i was too upset to be actually funny ’cause i wrote it right afterwards and seriously, that scene with Mikey crying drunk outside of the bar after the whole undressing and getting sloppy drunk thing — just made me feel so weird and empty and like “this isn’t for me to see!” you know what i mean? when it’s just people living their lives — and again, i’ve never seen jersey shore, real housewives or the hills — not people in special situations (like seven strangers picked to live in a house in a city they’ve never been to and see things they’ve never seen, or a bunch of people on an island competing, or attending celebrity rehab) — there are some things you just want to be private, things we shouldn’t see unless there is some kind of point or higher purpose or sense of compassion for things greater than LA Fashion Week or evening out the pants:pumps ratio. I think also I expected everyone else to have been horrified as well, but I’m suspecting that might just be my reality tv virginity speaking there. anyhoosers.

      • I’m a complete TV junkie. I watch a good chunk of reality TV. I don’t necessarily like it, but it’s the train-wreck thing, y’know? Anyway, I am certainly no reality TV virgin, and I completely agree with everything you’ve ever said about TRLW. I feel uncomfortable watching it 100% of the time it’s on my screen. I keep watching it because I feel obligated to, not for any secret guilty pleasure I have with other shows.

        You’ve clearly made the distinction that your problem is with the show/editing and not the people themselves, and that’s important. I don’t know how you can even do these recaps without wanting to kill yourself, but I’m glad you can. You’re pretty much the greatest ever.

  22. My whole thing is that I find the show to be completely fraudulent and slightly pornographic. They should take out all the blurred genitalia and edited sex scenes from the Real World and air that on Showtime! O wait that is called ameture porn…I find this double standard all too offensive. I guess for what should be an obvious reason. The only reason this double standard exists is because in the absense of an actual biological penis, Americans culturally don’t view girl on girl action as actual sex.

    • Really?

      I don’t find the sex scene’s to be much of anything. We get some close ups of skirts and those pantie hoes suspenders with some audio clip overdub action and that’s about it. Pornography? Not even close in my opinion.

  23. I love this show.

    I don’t see the horror show so many people seem to love to see. I cried over Mikey’s Aunt’s makeover when she said she felt beautiful afterward, and she didn’t before. I know it’s cliche scenario to the jaded TV audience, a cancer survivor, but it was a real moment. Same as with Whitney revealing that she survived an almost fatal neurological disorder last episode. Can you imagine being suddenly blinded and paralyzed? These are real people. I’m disappointed with the cynicism and shallowness of the critiques of this show, whether from the “in the knows” in the press, or commentors. Everyone loves to diss this show, and I think you’re missing the point. There is good stuff here. And I’m sorry, Whitney cracks me up. That’s what you’re twenties are for, playing around. What the hell, is she supposed to go squat in a nest in the corner with her life partner and wait for bed death? I could go on and find positives about all the cast, and I appreciate the single almost apologetic paragraph at the end of this review that tries to, too.

    I’ve read other reviews of the past two episodes (not just here), and they’re all the same, so harsh and, honestly, lazy bullshit. Lazy critics have written the show off and feel justified in not bothering to invest any further effort. Boo.

    I’ll continue to watch the show, but know better than to continue to read the recaps. Frankly, they’re not accurate, imo. I don’t have a problem finding something of value in this show.

    just my two cents.

  24. Maybe:
    1. The reason behind the ‘characters not competing’ thing is that the show’s competition is actually going on between the audience members and…
    2. The prize is that the show gets Life-affirming, Profound and, you guessed it, Real precisely in last few minutes of the last episode but…
    3. The only winners will be those brave enough to endure the whole season because you need to watch every moment to really appreciate ‘2.’

    Bonus: Every cotton ball cloud has a cotton-y silver lining

    [I’m trying to encourage the continuation of these recaps because I can’t (legally) watch this show, but I (rightfully) enjoy Teh Bitterness.]

  25. Just as a side point y’all know that if you don’t live in the US, or you miss the show, there are a whole bunch of websites you can stream it from for free. Don’t miss out!

  26. I watch the show and then read these recaps because I want to know Riese’s thoughts on the episode. None of us are Riese’s editor and I do not think that the readers have the right to nor should they ask Riese to write them differently. They are Riese’s recaps, not official TRLW recaps, so she should write them however she chooses to write them. If they are filled with love, hate or indifference for the show and/or its’ characters, that’s up to Riese. If you agree or disagree with the recaps, then by all means leave your thoughts in the comment section but don’t ask Riese to censor her opinion because if she does that what would be the point of the recaps?

    IMO, this show is so dreadful that Showtime is fortunate that anyone at all is watching much less spending their precious time writing anything about it, whether it is flattering or unflattering.

  27. Re: sex scenes on this show. It’s like amateur videos on, but with people that I like less.

    Ilene, sex on my TV machine is only hot if I don’t hate the people–I mean characters–involved. Mkay? Cheers.

  28. I have not, and will not be watching this show, but since The L Word recaps on this site were so spot on and hilarious I trust that these recaps are pretty spot on…and yes, hilarious to boot.

  29. Rose’s character (because she’s not an actual person on this show) is hilarious…

    “put down the phone… I don’t want you on twitter all night, baby. listen to me. are you listening? are we gonna have a romantic evening? then listen to me…”

  30. By Season Six of TLW I could no longer mask my disgust for TLW in order to entertain/not depress. Howevs, the more I liked an episode, the less funny it was. The art of recapping is harder to master than one might think, and the breakthrough moment is enabled by one’s ability to specifically hate on a handful of characters — most recappers chose Jenny, she’s easy to make fun of. I loved Jenny though so I only did that as a last resort. Other easy/lazy jokes include wanting more sex and making clever metaphors about fashion choices. Those don’t insult anyone!

    But I don’t want to do that. Those are real people, I can only make fun of them when they do things that are definitely gross, and it’s hard to be definitely gross, only seemingly so. I have trouble with this, is that weird, I feel weird

    • I don’t think what you are feeling is weird. I had an “omg, what am I saying, these are real people that I don’t actually know” moment the other day when I made a particularly harsh comment to one of my friends about the one of cast members. I think it is completely normal to feel weird or even bad about trashing, hating on or making fun of real people that for all we actually know are a product of the poor editing of the show. On the other hand these women signed up for this project knowing damn well that viewers would share their opinions about the show and themselves. They are receiving monetary consideration for putting themselves and their lives out there for the viewer’s scrutiny. These ladies are not innocents so don’t let it bother you too much.

  31. Riese, you’re not weird. I like you. You’re not weird. Ilene McChiken’s weird. That hot mess is weird. But you just talk funny and are very tall.

  32. And I like it. I like the way you talk. It sounds like my inner monologue of sarcasm toward basically the universe.

  33. I am SO glad that you ladies here have not used the the fact that this show is pretty damn awful to infer that all the people featured on it are therefore awful. I’ve found a lot of sites recapping this show that don’t consider how this show is edited when judging the characters, something that, especially when juxtaposed against the stars’ OFFICIAL BLOGS ON THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE, should seem rather obvious.

    After seeing The Fake L Word turn shark-jumping into a weekly event, my expectations of Ilene Chaiken weren’t too high. However, my expectations of Magical Elves, the company producing TRLW, are pretty high. They make Top Chef and Project Runway. Those shows are awesome. And they’ve had pretty good portrayals of real-life queers, especially Zoi and Jen in season four. But then again, maybe the difference was that those shows were heavily focused around the talents of people, and I wasn’t as concerned with how it was edited, because OMG FOOD PORN AND PRETTY DRESSES, and that you can’t fake.

    • Agreed. Check out the blogs here and you can see that even the women themselves concur that the show is edited to death even to the extreme of Mikey confessing that the valentines day meet up with Whitney actually happened two weeks prior. This clashes somewhat with whitney’s blog as she claims it was valentines. Not that this trivial matter is important but it just demonstrates how it’s not ‘real’ and the women have very much been turned into characters.

  34. amazing recap. lots of laughing out loud.

    but, seriously… what. the. hell.

    i didn’t watch this episode on purpose b/c the people behind it’s creation and terrible editing (i’m looking at you, IFC and your camp of people who are trying to undo so much progress…) make me feel so uncomfortable and embarrassed. to me, watching this show feels like sobering up halfway through a poor life decision. it makes me want a shower for my body and my eyeballs and my short term memory.

  35. best sentence ever:
    “She made this short film we both liked much better than this show (and as you can see, we are very cranky, bitter, miserable old hags who can barely stand to exist, let alone watch other people exist on the television, and therefore we hate everything and that hate is a reflection of our soul’s darkness and therefore us liking something is a Big Deal).”

    i haven’t seen the real l word but i’m sure these recaps are perfect and appropriate and that i’d feel the same way. i lol’d while reading pretty much the whole thing. great screencaps/shots?w/e. thank you for subjecting yourselves to watching this train wreck to share your awesome recapping powers with the internet universe.

  36. Its easy for me to hate these people but yes they’re probably like people we know if real life (and sometimes avoid). But it’s not their fault. The fault is with Chaiken mostly for allowing someone to edit the holy hell out of some of these scenes. As an editor it’s pretty horrendous to watch this show. As a person it’s pretty horrendous to watch anything outside of Stamie’s hilarious commentary.

  37. Could someone please explain the appeal of Whitney? Is it just ’cause she’s hot for sex?

    I know she’s a real person and probably really a great gal, but her face is huge and devoid of interesting features, her hair is dread-fully ratty-looking, her body is not particularly exceptional, she lacks personality and character and, really, humor, and her voice is a nasal-to-shrill monotone. At least that’s how she appears from what we’ve been shown (but, seriously, get that girl some vocal training or something–ouch!).

    I totally get the appeal of Tracy; she’s everything that Whitney isn’t.

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