“She said she doesn’t want to be anybody’s first-ever girlfriend because she’s looking for something serious/longterm and doesn’t want to waste her time because ‘nobody ever settles down with their first girlfriend’?? But I am ALSO looking to settle down!”
What would be the shape of our lives if we prioritised each other?
Specialists in the ethical porn space discuss how they navigate bringing something new, inclusive, and beautifully queer to a contentious industry.
“It’s not a role that comes naturally to me, so there’s a lot of trust and vulnerability built into it, but also I need to really believe it. Right? If you’re going to top me, top me. I don’t wanna have to convince myself.”
“I feel like in some ways, I could be down for a marriage in the sense of contract-to-build-a-family-unit rather than the marriage-driven-by-romantic-love sense.”
I’m gonna take you through the world of kinky restraints from entry-level essentials to things that should only be done in the presence of experts. My hope is to give you a tour of this wonderful world with an emphasis on safety.
“I love my partner but I’m having trouble with our sex life.”
They checked every box, but now it’s over and nothing else seems to come close. Will it always be this way? Also, we help a reader decide if she should shave her bush just because someone asked her to.
“Asexual lesbian with a nearly nonexistant sex drive here. All I hear is that the expected norm in lesbian relationships is hours and hours of sex at a time. PLEASE tell me this is true for only 9/10 non-ace lesbians (or less).”
Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya and Kristen Arnett discuss the sliding scale of gender expression and how a femme wife is like having an IRL Barbie.
She’s dating your bestie, still flirts with you, and you’re all three moving in together?! Also, a reader wonders if she’s really a lesbian if all of her exes came out as trans men.
“And I’m a total catch! I have a great job, I own my house, I’m smart, cute, and don’t speak to any of my exes!”
Listen, did we have a little TOO MUCH FUN ranting about our various icks? Maybe so. And now you can have some fun with us, too, delving into the various things that give us pause, squick us out, and just straight up annoy or piss us off.
You cheated on your boyfriend and now he’s asking you to stay home from Pride parties — is that fair? Also, how to navigate different types of political activism.
“I was showing up to classes late, missing deadlines, covered in hickeys.”
“Am I valid to be unsettled? And is there anything I can do to facilitate a conversation with them about this?”
I think of all the people who exited my life because of breakups and how neither of us knew our final conversations with each other were exactly that.
“Whenever I try to go down on her I get grossed out by the taste and the smell. She is very clean so I know it is not a hygiene issue, and she is the only woman I have ever been with.”
Your friends are on your side and they can’t wait to tell you about it! Also, we help a trans reader who’s nervous about international travel.
Clicker training keys into the mental side of kink using benign tools.