11 Cathartic Recipes Involving Crushed Cheetos

for food lists

Feeling a little extra rage today? What’s that? Every day since November 9, you say? Girl. I got you.

Put some Cheetos in a bag and smash them with a hammer. Stomp them with your combat boots. Run them over with your car. Engage in some mindful meditation and journal about how you’re feeling now. Rest up. Nurture yourself.

(Then take a photo and send it to your senators or whatever. Have you called them today?)

1. Cheetos Waffles

2. Cheetos Chicken Fingers

3. Cheetos Coated Brussels Sprouts

4. Cheetos Crust Chanterelle & Gruyere Quiche

5. Broccoli With Cheetos

(This recipe doesn’t explicitly call for crushing, but you know. Follow your heart.)

6. Cheetos and Rosemary Goat Cheese Appetizer

7. Cheetos Crusted Mac n’ Cheese Doughnuts

8. Flamin’ Hot Mozzarella Stix

9. Hot Cheetos Ice Cream

10. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Kale Salad

11. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Fried Chicken

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Laura Mandanas

Laura Mandanas is a Filipina American living in Boston. By day, she works as an industrial engineer. By night, she is beautiful and terrible as the morn, treacherous as the seas, stronger than the foundations of the Earth. All shall love her and despair. Follow her: @LauraMWrites.

Laura has written 210 articles for us.

28 Comments

  1. Your internet chefs were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

  2. My list of “foods I should probably be revolted by but would definitely eat anyway” just got a lot longer.

    (Lookin’ at you especially, Mac n’ Cheese donuts)

    • I’ve had these! At some otherwise forgettable place in New Jersey where I met clients for dinner. It was a gimmick but IT WORKED.

      I hate the rare occasions that I travel for work and I am especially at a loss with the forthright East coast thin, rich career women so these Brussels sprouts were literally the highlight of my work trip even with all the “oh I shouldn’t I’m being so bad” “I’m going to have to to the gym again tonight!” diet-as-religion bullshit going on.

  4. I feel like US food bloggers have an amazing talent for thinking “how can I turn X into the unhealthiest possible version of itself, and then multiply that by 100”
    I have to say they’re doing a fantastic job of it!
    (*ahem* Man and cheese donuts *ahem*)

  5. Cheetos as pizza topping (after baking) and cheetos with hummus. Only crispy cheetos please.
    Honorable mention: cheetos as salad topping.

  6. Wow. I definitely read the title as ’11 Catholic Recipes Involving Crushed Cheetos’. Totally got me to click through though.

    • Brussels Sprouts? Broccoli? Kale? Just leave out the cheese or prepare a roux instead, and use oil instead of butter.
      Or are Cheets not vegan? We don’t have them here. If that’s the case… hm, the article is on cheetos, so I guess they are mandatory :)

  8. Laura, on behalf of all the queer mexican americans out there, i thank you for your celebration of flamin hot cheeto recipes

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