NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday: Thrill Me, Kill Me, Scissor Me, 69 Me, Kiss Me

Three weeks ago on NSFW Sunday we talked about what lesbians don’t talk about when they talk about sex AND YOU ALL HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS.

A few days before the aforementioned post we’d started an ‘anonymous google doc’ wherein Autostraddle team members asked their own questions and gave their own answers so that we could ‘determine’ what people ‘want to talk about.’

Today is our last or second-to-last week of continuing to bring you this crucial insight. Last week we talked about tops & bottoms and two weeks ago we talked about wetness & orgasms and today it’s about positions with bad reputations. BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU WANT TO SCISSOR, it’s all you ever want, you’re like fuck rocks & paper, let’s scissor, right?

There was a poor confused lesbian who called into Dan Savage and wanted to know if people still scissored. Do you? Feelings?

* Scissoring is a thing. Yes.
* My girlfriend and I were talking about this the other day and we were like “This is really a thing? Really?” Then again, we have no experience with anyone but each other…
* I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously, like, “Yeah sure let’s scissor! Sorry I keep giggling, is that ruining the mood?”
* I still have no idea what scissoring is or if I’ve ever done it.
* I haven’t because of the kinds of top-bottom dynamics that I generally establish in sex, but I have watched porn which involved scissoring. It looked hot. Would not mind trying at some point in time. (Perhaps when I’m roleplaying being the bottom in the relationship.)
* Yes, I’ve done it a handful of times. It can be kind of silly, but I think laughing during sex can be good/healthy and when it stops being silly, sometimes it’s pretty hot. It’s not something I would like request in bed, but don’t knock it til ya try it. It’s feels like a big wet vagina hug. In a good way.
* It’s not the safest way to sleep with someone unprotected if you aren’t 100 percent sure about their sexual health status; but if I know they test clean then yes.
* I think this has another name, right? One that doesn’t suggest that you end up looking at the other person’s feet. [Tribadism. That is a thing.]
*  A form of scissoring is hot. Actual scissoring is good for cuddling.
* I’m too scared to scissor. That shit looks awk.
*  Never done it. South Park has ruined it for me, never will do it.
* It was okay but South Park gave the whole experience a weird sense of shame.
* There are times when I’ m playing around in bed and the mood is carefree and it seems like something I could initiate/pull off with minimal embarrassment. If you feel comfortable with the person and with yourself, why not? Sex shouldn’t always be serious.


69ing. Is it a thing? Does it lead to getting off, or is it strictly for show/fun? Discuss:

* Um, yes. It’s a thing that leads to getting off, at least in my bedroom.
* I’ve done it, but I feel like it’s more to feel like you’ve done it. Like sexy Kilimanjaro. I wouldn’t say it was the #1 best for getting off, you know?
* It’s definitely a thing. I think it’s super hot and kind of a once in a while thing, but I wouldn’t want to do it with someone I’m not super intimate with. It’s pretty intense! I think most sex is strictly for fun/not just about having the max amount of orgasms, so yeah. It can lead to getting off or to other things too.
* 69 is a thing that I like to do. I find that it only leads to getting off when it’s done slowly and so admittedly it can be a little hit and miss, depending on what the other person is like.
* 69ing is a thing after a lot of yoga.
* It was a cool idea when I was a teenager, but now I find that it makes it difficult to focus on what you’re doing and nobody ends up having the best possible time.
* It’s a thing, but I’ve never gotten off with it. I honestly don’t like the position and where our noses have to be. There. I said it.

+

More on Positioning Yourself for SUCCESS: You’ve likely already seen the Barbie Sex Positions page, as it’s one of the best things to ever happen on the internet and we’ve linked to it 2-3 times. College Sex Advice has LESBIAN SEX POSITIONS: OPEN SOURCE KAMA SUTRA in which positions are demonstrated by cartoon penguins. One of the penguins has pigtails. They are both very happy to be penguins, probably are in denial about global warming and overall universal cosmic apocalypse, coming in 2012.

The Encylcopedia Dramatica can be both offensive and informative on topics such as Scissoring. Wikipedia has a page on Tribadism with special drawings, b/c the internet is magic. Also here’s some fanfic about the Golden Girls scissoring! For a quick brush-up on clit-clatting, mashing cookies and clam jousting; check out the lesbian kama sutra glossary. Also, there’s a book for this: Lesbian Sex: 101 Lovemaking Positions.

ALSO ABOUT SEX, AND THEREFORE OF INTEREST:

The Scavenger has a great interview with Jiz Lee and it’s called Genderqueer feminist porn star: Jiz Lee.

We had an open relationship thread a few weeks ago, and this website wrote an unrelated article called Open relationships? like recently. Also a Rabbi said “In order for monogamy to work, it has to be ‘dirty.'”

New York Times says they like your/our small boobs, here: For the A-Cup Crowd, Minimal Assets Are a Plus!

Violet Blue has your update on the week in the war on watching porn.

SEXY TUMBLR ALERT:

This might be my favorite tumblr of the 3rd quarter of 2010. It’s called gazed! and it’s about ‘us’, or you know, the imaginary ‘we.’ It makes me think of that poem, ‘we real cool.’ And it’s not about sex or lesbians, but there’s sex in it, and girls without their shirts off, and girls being amorous with other girls, and girls riding bicycles. everything happens in a sunlight-dappled place where the sky is beautiful, grass is plentiful, and the girls are pretty/soft and is captioned like; “we’re strangers to ourselves” or we like a good rear view and we have to read the fucking manual again. Seriously. and we have something like this in mind and we practise and we reconsider our plans and we love our garden and we added police cars to our ignore list. a long time ago and we’re listening to old mixtapes.

That’s all, feel free to talk about yourself in the comments!


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Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2855 articles for us.

74 Comments

  1. kate.

    Haven’t attempted scissoring… yet. I 69’d with the girl I lost my virginity to. It was a little intimidating at first but mainly because it was my first time having sex. It’s totally hot, though… especially when you both climax at the same time.

    My experience has been: if you’re both open minded, comfortable with each other and attracted to one another then you can come in just about any position.

  2. Tiara the Merch Girl

    Now to find a study partner for. Lesbian Sex Positions 101 with.

      • Tiara the Merch Girl

        Dude, how awesome would an Autostraddle dating site be? ;)

        • Autostraddlr

          Geo-locate your nearest queer weirdo to discuss feelings/unicorns/find out how lesbians have sex.

          This needs to happen.

          • “if you want to find out how lesbians have sex, plz fill in this short personality quiz and we will set you up with an adequate, charming commenter ASAP”

          • Bex

            yes. this. omfg. yes.

          • Tiara the Merch Girl

            YES.

            (i’m still after the other aussie redhead from the poly post.)

  3. e

    scissoring has been tried and i will only do it again as long as i have a negative test result confirmation. not so sure about 69ing. that whole nose comment is making me feel all kinds of apprehension.

  4. Jacka

    Scissoring is definitly a THANG! yea sure ther may be giggling and is hella awkward to get in to position, but once to both get to THAT spot And both parties get their sexypornstarmoves on it’s amazing! Tho one thing if u are both skinney rubbin your pubic bones together things get nipped and can be a wee bit sore, that can ruin th mood.. BUT if u put a towel or something between th 2 of u,u can get th same stimulation, no pain and super long sexy time cos no cramping hands or arms!!
    Def do it!!
    Grind those hips ladies !!

    • Jacka

      Well I do so happen to have an opening comin up in my seminars or I give special one on one classes everyday after 5pm , just let me know when ur free and il b able to “squezze u in” .. Hehe :D can u get to Belfast, Northern Ireland??? Lol

  5. Anonymous

    Encyclopedia Dramatica is the single most brilliant source of information on the internet.

  6. Man, I love being a girl’s first, is that weird to say? It’s such a nurturing, sexy, lovely time, especially if you really like one another. That look of “OMG” on a girl’s face when she finally groks how it’s done is so damn satisfying.

    Tribadism/scissoring/tribbing is kinda difficult unless you’re about the same height and weight because then you’re in similar positions. It’s great for the kissing/yanking off clothes/going-from-making-out-to-sex part of the sexy times, but yeah, it’s not ideal for many people.

    Sixty-nine is so fun, but I can’t be the only person who feels they are far too distracted to be a good lover during it.

    • re: scissoring.
      one of the partners should be double-jointed.
      simply said, be double-jointed.
      that will also give your lady some talking material when she wants to brag about you to her friends.

  7. My main thought-feeling is I want to watch that South Park episode.

    I think my sex drive ran away because it felt bored and neglected. If someone sees it frolicking around let me know. I don’t want it back just yet, but I do need to know it’s safe and happy.

  8. gg

    Try this at home: One girl on bottom her legs spread like a frog spreading her vaj, other girl on top (missionary style) and puts her clit directly on other other girls clit/vagina. It is tricky and you have to work on it but it is amazing and very effective for foreplay or full on orgasm. It is my favorite form of tribadism

    • gg,

      Is this how you come by your name?

      From wikipedia:
      “Females of the bonobo species, found in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, also engage in female-female genital sex, usually known as GG rubbing (genito-genital).”

      G.G. Rubbing would be an awesome pseudonym. Sounds British, though.

      • gg

        Ha! No its based on my real name but amazing coincidence!

    • best. thing. ever. It makes me kind of sad for everyone who has trouble with this one, because my ex and i pretty much were in love with this. The first time it happened was kind of by accident and she then declared it her “favorite new thing ever”. It was good times. good times.

    • Ahhh this is my favorite thing too, but no other queer woman I’ve met has understood what the hell I was talking about when I tried to explain it haha. Discovered this position due to not being able to scissor, and it’s pretty fucking mindblowing. Very good way to have simultaneous, or close-to-simultaneous orgasms, as well.

  9. i wish there was a cool name for when her thigh is between your legs and your thigh is between her legs and things feel nice. i would say, ‘i’m a fan of [cool name for thigh funtimes]!’ or ‘my number one feeling is [cool name for thigh funtimes].’ or ‘[cool name for thigh funtimes] ME THEN MAKE ME A SANDWICH PLZ.’

    • rei

      I too wish there was a name for that. There should be. Cause. It’s a thing.
      (Although, according to the Wikipedia article on Tribadism, I guess it constitutes “scissoring” too? I disagree.)

      • it should, absolutely, have a name.
        maybe there’s a lack of name because it’s the thing that just happens when you’re so into it you kinda just fall on the bed or really anything and someone lands on top and you start doing what you’re doing just because. and then you undress and it happens again.
        the no-name too horny right now to engage in anything more sophisticated thing.

    • Instead of thigh funtimes my girlfriend likes pubic bone funtimes.

      I get bruised but it works (and is worth it). There need to be sexier names for this shit, because it’s awesome, and frotting sounds gross.

  10. southpaw

    i went to that wikipedia page on tribadism and somehow ended up clicking a page about penis fencing, idk but i hope you guys are ready to take responsibility for my browsing history now

  11. also once katrina and i traced the scissoring picture from wikipedia and gave it to alex for her birthday. then she left in open in the hotel room and the maids threw it away.

      • i wanted to talk about it in the post but then thought ‘no riese, save it for the comments’

        if she hadn’t taken that drawing for her own purposes, then i would have it on my wall and be looking at it right now

  12. Soy Sauce

    What if I’m into tribadism, but not scissoring? Is that possible? I really like hip/thigh meets clit, not usually to orgasm. Isn’t that technically tribadism?

    • Soy Sauce

      Oops. I Should really read other peoples comments before posting. I get ‘must discuss feelings RIGHT NOW’ tunnel vision.

  13. Could it be that scissoring is an extreme form of tribadism? A lot of things are tribadism (or “tribbing”) to me, including the thigh between legs thing. We’re all a big tribe.

    • rei

      I like that. Still have to find a better word for it, because “let’s tribe, baby” does not sound very sexy.

      …Or does it?

      • How about frot?

        “Lesbians are the unsung heroes of rubbing”

        Best wiki-p quote ever.

        • Soy Sauce

          I don’t know. Frot isn’t the sexiest of words either. That quote is brilliant, though.

  14. DayDay

    Nice pics, thanks for posting. Very hot indeed. BTW 69 is the default position for me when a chic doesn’t know what she’s doing lol.

    • tat

      that’s clever, she can focus on what you’re doing and figure it our as she goes

  15. Awesome pics and great posting, Tho I have yet to scissor with anyone, I do think it would be hot and its always good to have have laughter in the bedroom :)

  16. i’ve 69’d twice, but both times i was terrified of getting farted on. or of farting. and giving/getting pink eye. and having a staring contest with the stink eye when i’m supposed to be having fun. and that was enough for me.

  17. m

    I’m a bit jealous of all of you dykes who have tried all that stuff.I have only ever had one-night stands, and often in the rest room of clubs, so it’s limited what you can do. But I always come so no worries. But yeah start that dating service, ‘cus I need a partner in crime :)

      • me…she reminds you of me, because thats what i do. i didnt used to, but i do now. also, ive always just called it thigh-ing…not very sexy either. how about femur-ing? somebody femur me!!

        • did you multiply or is there just a ton of girls who like to do it in the restroom?
          still there was something about m. the letter and the way you wrote that and what you wrote.

          //going back to making up conspiracy theories now.

          • well no, i have never multiplied, and i havent been with a “ton” of girls in a bathroom, thats just how things turned out. good luck with the conspiracy theories…

          • oh wow, no offense there… did I write that you have been with a ton of girls in a bathroom? because it seems like you read it that way. don’t take that personally, my question was if there are [insert: generally] a lot of girls who like to do that; and I wrote “a ton” as in “many, but using a total exaggeration instead of many”.
            as I said, no offense! and I sure know how things can turn out, you know?

          • oh hey! no offense taken, for really real! you wrote it perfectly fine and comprehensible, i just wanted to point out that im not a whore, not that you were saying i was one, haha. so….yeah, no worries! and yeah, i really do know how things can turn out! its all good!

          • also, does it say “member” by my name? and if not, how do i become a member? i thought i was one…how sad :(

          • ok, good then. :)
            there’s no shame in being a whore!
            like, when I told one of my best friends I was “a little slut the other day” and he simply said “a little slut?? you shouldn’t be a little slut!! be A BIG SLUT for god’s sake!”
            ;)

  18. yes, this thigh thing…totally a thing. totally what my girl and me did before we graduated to fingerblasting. (actually, what we still do [with pants on] when one of us is on our period but we’re horny lol.)

    agreed though, frotting…not so much. not a great word. tribbing is okay i guess, still not the hottest name.

    • with pants on! No one ever talks about “dry humping”. Should be called “dressed humping” or “pants on humping” though.

      • I just feel like humping is a gross word…Oh god. like that song…”My Humps”. Ewwww.

  19. I can’t help but imagine all of these comments being written by Lisa Turtle. And then I can’t help but imagine Lisa Turtle scissoring and 69ing (with Kelly Kapowski of course.) I’m having a wonderful imagination day.

  20. owls

    As a small-breasted lady, my ears sort of perked up at that article . . . man, NYT trend pieces are fucking bizarre, though. Such as: “as people’s weight has ballooned, breasts (mostly made up of fat) have only gotten larger, and commensurately bra cup sizes, too. K-cups now exist. Brandishing a tiny bosom may be a reaction to that trend.” Uh breast size is not exactly something that can be (well, easily) changed in order to follow a trend, and probs especially not for the reason of “ew, fat people,” weirdos!

  21. Jaime

    TRIBBING/SCISSORING IS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD. I would eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

  22. J

    The first, and so far only, time I’ve scissored with a girl we were having a sexyfuntimes marathon XD. It had been like four hours of me realizing that girls had erogenous zones and learning how to give a hickey. She decided that I had “tortured” her enough ;( and that she was going to get me back. It started with her seeing how far my legs would spread before I said “oww!”, which was difficult considering I had a twin bed at the time. One leg ended up against the wall with my toes point to a panda calendar. Some fingerblasting happened and then she was moving my leg again. Finally getting to the point: I was kind of confused when her foot went by my ear. I thought “scissoring? really? is that a thing?” Because I’d thought that straight guys made up scissoring as a way to mock the lesbians, like guess-what-I-can-do-that-you-can’t type of thing? I started to tell her that this seemed weird and awkward but she was thrusting her hips and I couldn’t think let alone speak. It felt amazing, after a few seconds of estacy induced shock I opened my eyes, looked at myself and her then we both started laughing. It was like “we’re really doing this and it’s hilarious in a kinky-feel-good way.

  23. Chyk

    I feel like an asshole for ruining the number of comments (69) but I just thought it was a great coincidence and wanted to point it out, lol. Sorry.

  24. first comment

    first comment in this section of 2021

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