NSFW Sunday Is Faithless and True

Feature image of Miss Yum in Crash Pad Series episode 246. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are courtesy of the Crash Pad Series and have been used with permission. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Cinnamon Maxxine and Amani Luxe in Crash Pad Series episode 243

+ When it comes to relationships, how do you actually listen to your gut? “How do I know if what I’m thinking is coming from my brain or my gut? And if there is such a thing as gut-level instinct separate from my rational brain, how do I know that I can really trust it?,” asks Katie Heaney at the Cut, before noting that it’s not a gut versus brain binary, that anxiety makes you give your credit more credit than it deserves, and that the best ways forward are to talk about your decision with other people, figure out whether you have any idea what you’re talking about, reexamine your instincts, and make a pros and cons list:

“[A]ll that thinking and careful decision-making is exhausting, and a little boring, and so unromantic, which is probably part of the reason why ‘think with your gut’ is trotted out so frequently. We want to believe in a power higher than our own brains, something within us that makes better choices for us than our rational minds ever could — particularly when it comes to bigger decisions like picking a partner, or buying a house, or having children (or not). But none of the behavioral scientists and psychologists I spoke to said anything to indicate it’s possible (or prudent) to make a decision with one’s gut alone. As with so much else in life, it’s about moderation.”

Cosmic and Miss Yum in Crash Pad Series episode 246

+ “I am most faithless when I most am true.”

+ Hand sex! How does it work?

+ Dating apps are bad at predicting matches, according to a new study in Psychological Science. At the Cut, Deanna Pai explains:

“[T]he authors used an advanced algorithm to predict the outcomes of each pairing based on the participants’ initial questionnaires —and failed miserably. So miserably, in fact, that they couldn’t identify even a single pattern within the answers that would determine whether two people would hit it off. In other words, no preexisting data about romantic preferences could actually predict romantic desire. Likability, yes. But attraction? Not so much.

[…] Only the measures collected after the speed dates, like how smoothly the participant thought it had gone, could accurately predict attraction to the other person. ‘Desire for a specific person may be a product of the interaction itself — in other words, a specific shared experience between the two individuals that may not be predictable beforehand,’ Joel explains.”

La Muxer Diosa and Mars the Prince in Crash Pad Series episode 238

+ Queer Porn Americana is a collective queer porn-viewing experience by Chelsea Poe and Courtney Trouble, and the public porn viewing is one of the best parts, writes Jes Grobman at Bitch:

“Poe and Trouble, who edited Queer Porn Americana with their company Trouble Films, both see public screenings of queer porn as a reclamation of the collective experience of pornography. When combined with other queer/trans art forms—as the screening in Providence was—there’s an opportunity to relish in the creativity and resilience of queer and trans people. In a society that views queer, and especially trans, bodies as disgusting and unlovable, and under a presidential administration that is doing all it can to make life unlivable for queer and trans people, these sites of celebration and pleasure are even more powerful.”

+ If a partner cheated on a partner before you, they’re more likely to cheat on you, according to a new study:

“So did cheating in one relationship predict cheating in the next relationship? It sure did. In fact, cheaters were 3.4 times more likely to do so the next time around. However, serial cheating wasn’t necessarily a forgone conclusion. Specifically, 45 percent of those who cheated in the first relationship did so in their next relationship; by contrast, among those who didn’t cheat initially, 18 percent cheated with their next partner.”

Cinnamon Maxxine and Amani Luxe in Crash Pad Series episode 243

+ “Is your Venus polyamorous?

+ You Should Go: I Didn’t Ask For This: A Lifetime Of Dick Pics is a traveling anti-harassment gallery show coming to Los Angeles on October 6 and 7. There will be discussions, parties, live feminist tattooing, a dildo photo booth, a vibrator vending machine and more. Get tickets.

+ Ted Cruz liked a porn tweet. Twitter is great for porn, though.

+ Sometimes you just live with your ex-girlfriend and it’s fine, okay?

+ A yes/no/maybe list can help you express yourself with partners.

+ Go to couples’ therapy before something is wrong. Go to couples’ therapy as soon as something goes wrong. Go to couples’ therapy, seriously.


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Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 871 articles for us.

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