NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants A Bite

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Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Brigitte Gilbreath via prettyplussize

Brigitte Gilbreath via prettyplussize

+ Kink as therapy:

“Luxuriating on a velvet couch, Natalie, a physician’s assistant, spoke of using BDSM to control a once-crippling anxiety disorder. In a scenario reminiscent of exposure therapy, she would place herself in controlled scenes designed to trigger her panic attacks so that she could confront them. The petite brunette reminisced about being tied up, slapped in the face, and crammed into a small box. ‘Ever since I started doing that, I’ve been having attacks less and less frequently,’ she insisted. ‘Now, I can allow thoughts to come in and out without getting emotionally wrapped up in them. It helped me realize that I am not my thoughts.'”

+ Queer Braille porn has come to Sweden: “I discovered that there is no porn or erotica at all for the visually impaired. Everyone needs some sexual stimulation!”

+ How did you learn to masturbate for the first time?

+ When in doubt, just don’t hug, and don’t make anyone hug anyone else either: “Ideally, two people in love express it with physical affection, in which hugs can play a lovely part. But the second you turn something meant to be given freely into a chore that must be completed before you can even empty your bladder is now entering sinister batshit territory.”

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the Womanizer (which we’ve also reviewed).

+ You probably have herpes.

+ It’s hard to find queer people to hook up with in middle America:

“Maybe that’s because there’s no need to drive hours to a gay bar to find a date, when you can hand-pick the date and the closest bar on your phone. And people living in the country say LBGT support groups feel too formal–especially when apps promote fun social networking events like gay BBQs, ‘proms,’ and brunch meet-ups. Backwoods cruising spots—where gay men used to meet for anonymous sex—are mostly dead, people told me. The apps have nearly eliminated the need for them, allowing users to pick potentially any spot to meet for a hook-up.”

+ It may or may not matter whether you and your activity partner’s friends get along, but it matters more if you are bad at making decisions for yourself:

“Dating someone your friends dig, being dug by the friends of the person you date—that’s all well and good. But finding someone who your friends are over the moon about is as important as finding someone who’s favorite band is identical to yours: it’s nice, but you shouldn’t necessarily expect or need that kind of affirmation. After all, you’re a grown up now, you can choose a partner for yourself, can’t you? You can decide for yourself if it’s working out or not, can’t you?”

Alexis Edwards by photographer Michelle Davidson-Schapiro via Bluestockings Boutique

Alexis Edwards by photographer Michelle Davidson-Schapiro via Bluestockings Boutique

+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: sometimes it takes a long time to come from oral and that’s okay:

“Although it’s fun and also relatively common for a girl to come super-fast, it’s also fun and relatively common for a girl not to come super fast. Men’s Health Magazine says that ‘studies show that it takes 15 to 40 minutes for the average woman to reach orgasm.’ An informal survey of the only four people I talk to all day confirms that 15+ minutes is perfectly ‘normal,’ or even ‘on the low end of normal.’ Also, anecdotal evidence suggests that the universe often matches people who get off really quick with people who don’t. Maybe.”

The new Je Joue line of modular vibrators might be relevant to your interests.

Jenny Shimizu via the lingerie addict

Jenny Shimizu via the lingerie addict

Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1090 articles for us.

6 Comments

  1. I’m sorry, I just really cannot get on board with this BDSM therapy. Everything about it is so unethical and has so much potential to harm the client, my head is spinning. Jesus fuck, do EMDR. EMDR works! And lastly, holy shit, I cannot believe they compared this to Play Therapy.

    • I got the impression it was the client’s idea and she only told her therapist after the fact? Which I’m still super uncomfortable with, that sounds like self-destructive behavior. But I only read the excerpt here, not the actual article. If it was the therapist’s idea, holy fuck that’s unethical, how can someone recommend that and still be allowed to practice? I’m glad the client is doing better, but that had so much potential to go horribly wrong.

  2. I would like a pg-13 (school appropriate) version of the hug article so that I can make it required reading for all of my students. Randomly hugging each other when the other isn’t ready for it is not okay.

  3. God do I feel that hugging article. I have a lot of friends who really like to hug every time we go our separate ways but I’m recently discovering I don’t really like hugging that much, especially when I only feel lukewarm about you or if we’re just saying goodbye after lunch and I’ll see you next week. Like, chill.

    • Also, I want to add that it’s THE WORST with people who are really terrible huggers and do the thing where they barely touch you at all and have like a fingertips-and-collarbone type of hug. Ugh, weak hugs are even more uncomfortable than weak handshakes. You have to be strong and confident for both with me or it is a NO GO.

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