NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Accessing Desire

Feature image of Selphie Labrys and Tessa Wreck’d in Crash Pad Series episode 304. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Ruby Riots and Zoie Blackheart and nipple clamps

Ruby Riots and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 301

At The Cut, Ask Polly gives advice for when you can’t feel or access your own desire:

“Our culture seduces us and amps up our desire, then it treats desire itself as shameful and treats us as weak and embarrassing for feeling desire. One of the most direct escape routes from this untenable position is art. Art is the opposite of shame. Daring to make art is audacious. When you live like an artist (by striving to encounter people, places, and things on their own terms, outside of our culture’s jaundiced framing of them), or you create art, that’s a way of boldly standing up for desire and making the right to your own desire a top priority. These identities and belief systems and actions are powerful and empowering even when they’re private.

But they require some courage of conviction.”

Bambi Belle and Denali Winter

Bambi Belle and Denali Winter in Crash Pad Series episode 280

Human Trafficking Prevention Month is a dangerous joke,” writes Melissa Girl Grant at The New Republic:

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“Officially, it’s ‘National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month,’ as established by President Obama in 2010 and redeclared by President Trump during his first year in office. To state the obvious, dedicating a month to the issue has done nothing to meaningfully address human trafficking. And Trump, in particular, has perpetuatedmore racist and xenophobic myths about trafficking than perhaps any of his predecessors. He does this while also actively harming people who have been trafficked: holding up housing aid, slashing legal funding, and making it even harder for immigrant victims to get visas (which, if denied, could mean being deported).

For more than a decade, the arrival of this month has meant very little beyond press releases and bad reporting. More than centering the needs of victims of trafficking or providing anything close to useful public education, it’s been an opportunity for almost any federal agency, elected official, or nongovernment organization to self-promote.”

Selphie Labrys and Tessa Wreck’d

Selphie Labrys and Tessa Wreck’d in Crash Pad Series episode 304

Grindr, Tinder and OKCupid are allegedly sharing your data with third parties:

“The report, entitled “Out of Control: How Consumers Are Exploited by the Online Advertising Industry,” looked at various apps downloaded by Android users, although these apps are also available for iOS. Researchers found that Grindr might be sharing user’s longitude and latitude with dozens of other companies, mainly advertisers. Tinder, meanwhile, allegedly tells third parties about users’ genders and the genders they’re looking to date. And OKCupid might spill the answers to all those profile questions you have to answer — questions about your drug use and your ethnicity, for example — to its purported 300-plus partners, per the New York Times.”

Freya Mars and Mx Kenzi Eris

Freya Mars and Mx Kenzi Eris in Crash Pad Series episode 302

Try these sex toys for food-free food play.

Here’s what’s up with Folsom Street Fair.

What does sex education look like after #MeToo?

Check out this vintage lesbian porn.

I’ve been brushing up on supporting a partner through a break-up with another partner, for no reason, and enjoyed this podcast episode (there’s a loose transcription if you click through to YouTube) and this discussion of different grieving processes.

Blair and Megan Reeves

Blair and Megan Reeves in Crash Pad Series episode 279

Call me wild but imo it’s better to be married and live separately than it is to get divorced because you can’t stand cohabitation with each other (or because you can’t poop when a significant other is around):

“Being married is very difficult, which is why so many people have to practice multiple times before meeting the person they will eventually die with. Being married is even more difficult when one feels pressured to comply with arbitrary norms around how couples must live and sleep in order to keep up appearances over personal comfort. Get your own bed, your own room, your own apartment or house. Sometimes being married is much better completely alone.”

Daisy Ducati and Ella Nova

Daisy Ducati and Ella Nova in Crash Pad Series episode 186

Oh no, there’s a new word for an old approach to being a bad dating partner: stashing:

“‘Stashing’ is what you call it when you date someone who’s happy to spend time with you one-on-one — but they never introduce you to their friends or family. More often than not, their social media profiles don’t show any evidence that you exist. […]

Stashing is insidious because it’s pretty normal to focus on one-on-one time when you first start dating. Early on, you probably don’t think twice about this behavior. But as time goes on, your partner’s excuses for keeping your relationship weirdly private start to get more far-fetched.”

Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 1019 articles for us.

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